Cat Book 1
by Cazzychaps
Summary: A new ranch hand arrives on the Ponderosa. Not unusual, except she is a woman. Because they are short handed, Ben takes a chance on her and gives her a job. But not everybody is happy with having a female hand, especially Adam.
1. Chapter 1

Cat wiped her brow of sweat as she and her horse, Rebel, paused at the top of a high bluff. The scene before her was like no other she had witnessed before. Below was the most beautiful blue lake she'd ever seen. The forests surrounding the lake were thick and lush with giant pines. The rolling grasslands were abundant with new spring growth and were a welcome change to the drier, more barren lands she'd left behind in Arizona. Being early spring, the land was still dotted with clumps of white snow.

Warmth grew in Cat's soul as she looked out over the landscape. It had been so long since she'd felt at home. Maybe she would find a little happiness here. She squeezed her knees slightly and clicked with her tongue. The magnificent grey Spanish stallion she rode obediently started forward and picked his way down along the rough track that led to the dirt road. Her hardy cow pony trotted behind. The road before her led to the largest ranch in the territory, and she hoped to find work there.

The cattle season looked like it might be a promising one. All too often in Arizona, drought and dust storms wrecked the chances of getting a good season's work. She already knew the ranch was the best and biggest in the area. She'd asked around town. A popular and respected family owned it. Getting a job here, however, was not going to be easy. Convincing hardened cattlemen that they should take on a woman to do a wrangler's job was a hard task. Cat never won a job without a fight. And when she did, she usually had to do twice as much as the other hands to prove her worth. It took all her skill and strength to stand up to the challenges that went along with working for men in a tough environment.

Still, she had to do it. She had no other choice. It was the one thing she did very well, and she had a debt to pay off. For almost five years she'd diligently paid back the loan afforded to her by the Bank of Phoenix. Now, finally all her hard work would soon pay off and her debt would be paid. If she got a good job now, she should have enough money to clear the debt by the end of the following summer. Her family's ranch, or what was left of it, would soon be hers again.

As she put Rebel into a trot, a feeling of peace came over her when she passed the lake's edge. The landscape felt so inviting. Yet, she'd never been this far north before. Cat was convinced it was a good omen and felt pleased with her decision to come this far. "Come on, boys, let's show these ranchers how good we are," she said quietly to her attentive companions. Rebel and her hardy Mustang Bobby seemed to understand and broke into a smooth canter.

Ten minutes later, Cat rounded a bend. The main ranch loomed into view. It was a large, sprawling complex of buildings and corrals. The house itself was impressive. Even though it was large and hinted at wealth, it wasn't overdone. The best word to describe it was comfortable. It looked well lived in and maintained. If the reputation of the family that owned it was accurate, then this house was a cherished home, much like hers had once been. Cat quickly put dark memories out of her mind. They were certainly not to be dwelled upon, not when work had to be arranged.

In a few more minutes, she arrived at the main house. There was no one about, but she could hear some activity from one of the corrals behind the ranch house. Dismounting, she dropped Rebel's reins over his head, ground tying him, and walked around to see what was going on.

The scene was a familiar one to her. Spring round up meant that new hands had to be tested and mounts fresh from six months on the range had to be ridden. Usually the two went hand in hand. No better way to test a new employee's fortitude than by giving him a bad tempered pony to tame. It quickly showed up his courage, strength, patience and ability to take orders. It also provided the main source of fun for the experienced hands, and anyone who'd made the grade and wanted to see others suffer.

Two young men who looked barely seventeen perched on the corral fence waiting their turn with the bronc currently under saddle. The tough grulla mustang was showing a lot of white in a mean eye and seemed determined not to be ridden. Three battered cowpokes nursing their bruises at the water trough were eloquent evidence that the horse was winning the day. Cat was glad everyone's gaze was focused on the action in corral so that she could study the setup.

A middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair stood in the middle of the corral. He had a commanding presence and was a large, powerful man. He was obviously Mr Cartwright, senior. She knew he also had sons according to the hotel keeper in Virginia City. Cat had to admit Mr Cartwright looked frustrated and fed up but was still giving a fair go to all involved. Behind him stood a huge, hefty young man who stayed well out of the way, but was ready to step in if needed. He must be one of the sons, Cat figured. He looked too much at home and capable to be a hand. She figured this was a very capable family to be so successful.

Lastly, there was teenager outside the corral, giggling in a childish sort of way. He was a lot smaller than the other wranglers were, but Cat thought him older than he looked. Something set him apart. He'd obviously enjoyed the last failure immensely. Cat guessed he was also one of the family. The boss would not have stood for such behavior otherwise. Cat instantly liked the three of them. They reminded her so much of her father and brothers. She remembered them doing the same things, and having the same commanding presence. But, that had been a long time ago.

The next tenderfoot's turn came. Cat eased up on to the fence. No one seemed to notice her there. A steady line of hopefuls had probably been in and out of the ranch all week, and everyone would have grown tired of new faces.

The boy's expression was tense. He'd watched the others and was all the more nervous for it. The horse could smell his fear. It was already wild before the hefty man let him free of his bonds. The boy was on its back for a mere two seconds. He landed in an untidy heap and quickly high-tailed it out of the corral, much to the younger son's ongoing amusement.

"Joseph, stop that laughing right now and get in here! This horse will have to be broken and you've just earned your big brother the job." Ben Cartwright's booming voice rang loudly through the air. Cat was not surprised to notice everyone spring nervously to attention when he spoke. The young man managed to get a grip on his mirth and approached the yard.

"But Pa, there's still a couple more to try out," said the hefty young man.

"I've had enough for one day. There's not a decent hand among them. We'll never get any work done at this rate." He was desperate and frustrated. This was the time for Cat to step in.

"Oh, Pa, but I've got- "

"-No excuses, Hoss. Get on this animal now!"

Cat recognized her chance. "Let me try him, Mr Cartwright. I'll have him gentled for you in no time."

All eight men in the corral area turned to see where the voice came from. A feminine voice at that. Ben turned and what he saw puzzled him. Before him stood a woman of about twenty-five years of age. She was dressed as they all were, in a long riding overcoat, work shirt and britches with a dusty hat tilted in her gloved hand. She was tall at about 5'9, with an underlying strength hidden behind a feminine body.

Her skin was slightly tanned from the sun, and a mass of dark-red hair was restrained in a French braid that ran half way down her back. A confident and friendly smile played on her lips. But her eyes were her most interesting feature. They were a rich green, almost emerald in color. They sparkled in the late afternoon sun and exuded confidence. She seemed cool and unflustered.

Ben Cartwright could only stare. The fact that anybody had freely volunteered to ride this beast was amazing, let alone a strange woman who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. He was stunned by the request, but dutifully bowed his head. "Be my guest."

Cat didn't waste the moment. She eased herself smoothly through the corral rails and approached the horse. The men gaped openly as they came to terms with this strange sight. Cat stopped several feet from the horse and clicked quietly. The animal was still highly stressed and he jerked his head at the small noise. Ben backed out of the yard. He was not about to be trampled.

The woman in the corral seemed to do doing nothing at first. She just stood there and allowed the horse to run loose around her. Ben, Joe and Hoss watched in interest. Ben regretted letting her in there. This could be a disaster if she couldn't handle herself. But there was something about her that said she could. As he looked on, the horse stopped flitting around and faced the girl straight on.

Cat clicked again and began to back up slowly. The horse watched, then after a few seconds, walked towards her. She'd learned when she was small, that horses didn't like to be chased. That provoked a natural instinct inside them to run, as they were essentially animals who fled from predators. When not threatened, however, horses were naturally curious and social animals. The horse walked right up to Cat to seek out any tit-bit she might have on offer. After producing sugar, talking to him softly and rubbing his neck with a quiet calm firmness, she slipped quickly on to his back and subdued his half-hearted effort to buck her off. Cat reined him in and walked him back to the corral fence.

She knew all eyes were on her as she tied up the animal. Eventually, Mr Cartwright approached. He had a look of admiration in his eyes. Cat crossed her fingers.

"I must say, that was quite an impressive display, young lady."

"Thank you," she relied graciously.

"Let's see what you can do with a fresh animal."

"Sure." Cat sighed to herself. It was always the same. They never quite believed her ability the first time. At least she was getting a chance though. A lot of ranch bosses didn't even allow her that much. One look at her and they'd send her on her way.

"Joe, bring out the bay." The deep robust voice oozed command and the boys jumped to attention. Cat steadied herself for the ride.

This horse was fresh and dangerous. No gentle coaxing would work here, only hard riding. She'd be up the task though; she always was. The horse was steadied in the gate and she mounted from above. The gate swung open and she was atop the angriest of wild beasts. Cat had learned to ride before she could walk and plenty of falls to become as good as her older brothers ensured she rarely slipped up. Again to the awe of her audience, she stayed on the bucking bronco and brought him around to submission.

When the horse was ridden enough to satisfy her critics, Cat jumped off and approached Mr Cartwright again. This was the time for her to talk him into taking her on. He needed experienced hands, and she had to convince him she was one. "Mr Cartwright, I'm very accomplished in all facets of ranch work. I have references and I need a good job for the summer. I would be grateful if you would put me on trial for a week, so I can prove myself to you. You won't be sorry."

"What's your name?" His intimidating tone almost made Cat falter.

"Catherine De'Maine. Folks call me Cat. I come from just north of Tucson. How do you do." She held out her gloved hand and he shook it. That was a good sign.

"Well, Cat De'Maine, if this is an indication of how you can work, you have yourself a job. I need results. Put your gear in the bunk house over the way. We start at five in the morning." With that, he strode away, leaving a wake of stunned male faces staring after him.

"A woman ranch hand? I never heard of somethin' so dumb," grumbled one of the adolescents.

"Boy, I thought Cartwright was smart."

"He is." Cat replied to the remark. The youngest son called Joseph walked toward her and smiled a wide boyish smile. "Anyone who rides a bronc like that deserves a medal, girl or no girl. Come on, I'll show you to the bunk house." With that, the deal was done. Cat got her wish. She was now a working hand on the Ponderosa.

The next morning dawned clear and crisp. Cat was up early. Nothing like getting the essential chores finished before breakfast. Not that she particularly liked mucking out stables and cleaning tack, she just knew it would be expected of a new hand. Especially a female hand. So, it was with a positive attitude that she attacked the work. She had it all done by the time the morning breakfast bell sounded.

After she'd eaten with the other new hands, Ben Cartwright came out of the main house to address them all. There were about half a dozen others. All kept a stony silence around Cat. She was use to it and preferred it to smart remarks and jibs at her gender. There had been enough spare bunks for her to stay well away from the others, so there was no conflict. All was fine while they treated her with no regard. Mr Cartwright briefed them on the day's work. There was a lot of branding to be done. She observed him as he dished out the orders and rules. She could tell why he was a respected man.

As far as the work went, it appeared some men were already camped at the main branding area. They were waiting for the extra help to arrive. When the meeting broke up, everyone went in different directions to get ready for the day. As Cat was going to her bunk, Ben stopped her.

"May I have a word with you, Cat?"

"Of course," she answered with some apprehension. Hopefully, he hadn't changed his mind about employing her.

"I notice someone did all the barn chores this morning. Funny, I can't get one of these lazy hands to do that kind of work." He raised an eyebrow and waited for her comments.

" I believe in getting chores out of the way."

"I'm grateful and I'm sure my son Hoss will be delighted as they were his chores this morning." He started to smile in a kind fatherly way. "But you know, you really don't have to do things like that. It is very heavy work."

Before he could finish, Cat felt the blood inside her boiling up. She answered him in a controlled, but firm voice.

"Mr Cartwright, I'm a hand on this ranch and you'll find that I can do as much, if not more than these men. If you care to watch me work today at the branding, you'll see how you've got your money's worth. The last thing I want you to do is treat me like a helpless female. You'll soon find out I don't fit into that category at all!"

She surprised Ben. She had spirit, this one. The way she spoke her mind, with that calm exterior but obviously seething interior, reminded him so much of his eldest son, Adam. Maybe she did have what it took. It was certainly going to liven things up for a couple of days. At least until she was beaten by the heavy work and admitted defeat. He admired her courage and wondered what a young, obviously well educated woman like her was doing going ranch to ranch working as a hand. She should be out enjoying life, attending parties, courting young men.

"All right, I take your point. I'll look forward to seeing you work."

"Thank you, sir. You won't be sorry."

Cat turned and strode off to the barn to ready her horses, leaving Ben pondering behind her. This was going to be interesting. She obviously had a very strong will. By the look of the huge horse she rode and the hardy working pony she led, she had a strong back as well.

Again, he thought of Adam. 'A strong will'. Come to think of it, Adam was running the branding operation. Just wait until he got a look at his newest hand. He wouldn't be very happy. Women, according to Ben's eldest son, were just fine as far as serenading, poetry and dances were concerned. But he wouldn't agree with letting one loose on the ranch as hired help.

Ben knew Adam would be annoyed when he found out. Chuckling to himself, he walked slowly back to the house. He'd been going to take the day off to do some book work, but on second thoughts, he considered taking a ride out to the camp instead. He was curious about Cat's ability. He had the feeling she was going to show up all the men, his son included. Adam would not be pleased, but he was sensible. If she got the job done, Adam would have to accept her. They were short handed enough as it was without turning help away. Besides, there was nothing like a healthy bit of rivalry to liven up a grueling spring round up.

Cat rode towards the rear of the group going out to the camp. They passed through lush paddocks, some of which were still hidden by huge drifts of snow. The landscape was foreign to her. The spring melt had made plenty of mud bogs. Apart from branding, Cat deduced there'd be a lot of cattle hauling as well, as the animals got stuck in fresh bogs during round up. Even though she hailed from Arizona, a much more arid climate, she'd done her fair share of river and mud rescues. Although flash flooding in the summer usually caused it, not snow melt. This climate and terrain were a welcomed change.

She enjoyed the ride, and soon she had company in the form of Hoss and Little Joe as he was called by most of the others. The two Cartwright brothers were very friendly toward her. She was used to being scorned by fellow wranglers, not treated as an equal, so it was a pleasant change.

Hoss was particularly friendly, as she'd done all his morning chores. The more they rode, the more she liked them. They were so much like her brothers. The more she talked to them, the more she relaxed. This should be a good family to work for.

As they approached the camp, the riders paused on a bluff to look over the vast herd of cattle before them. The winter had been mild and the animals looked in good shape. There were hundreds of calves to be branded. Cat took a deep breath and looked forward to the day. For all that had happened to her in the past, she still loved the ranch life. As they made their way down to the camp, she became curious about the order of things.

"Hoss, are you the boss out here, or will Mr Cartwright be arriving shortly?"

Hoss replied with a short, sharp chuckle. "No, ma'am, neither of us. Our big brother Adam is in charge out here."

"Adam? I didn't know you had another brother."

"We sure do, ma'am. He ain't too soft a boss, neither. You best keep outa his way today. He sure is gonna be mad when he sees you."

Cat frowned. She'd become comfortable with the three Cartwrights she'd met and had started to relax. Hoss's words filled her with trepidation. This Adam sounded like a lot of her former employers - biased and hard-bitten men unwilling to give her a decent chance. Frustration and tension rose inside her at the sudden knowledge that she might be thrown into a lion's den again.

"You'd betta hide to start with, Miss Cat." Little Joe offered his advice with glee. "We all came to see the show."

"Show?" Cat looked at the boy with a rising anger. "What show? I'm here to work the same as the others."

"Sure ma'am " Little Joe backed off with a fading smile.

" Don't call me ma'am. Cat will do just fine!"

"You tell her, Hoss."

"It's like this, ma'am, er, I mean Miss Cat." Hoss looked suddenly pale, as if he was about to relay bad news. "Our brother Adam, he don't take too kindly to women folk doing ranchin'."

"Oh, doesn't he? I've been employed by your father, isn't that right?" Both of them nodded in unison. "This Adam of yours may not know what has hit **him** when I get started. Did you ever think of that?" Her green eyes seemed to change color. They became darker, more menacing. Her body rose tall and proud in the saddle. Hoss looked at Little Joe. Joe swallowed nervously and looked back at Cat.

"All we're saying is, it might be a good idea to blend in. Don't be too noticeable to start with."

Cat was at the end of her tether. Five long years of putting up with these prejudices. She was ready to snap.

"That brother of yours better stay out of **my** way. I can cut and rope with the best of them, and I intend to prove it. Where is he?" She stared down the two of them until Joe pointed in the general direction.

"He's over there on the tall chestnut. Black Hat. Can't miss him"

Cat looked to where Joe pointed. "Fine. You might think I can't cut it, all you men might," she said to include those around them that were eavesdropping. "But you don't know anything about me. You don't know how hard I've worked or can work to prove myself. You might just be in for a shock." The commanding voice she projected set the boys back on their heels. "I can be pretty stubborn myself too, **YA**!"

With that decisive last word, she kicked Rebel into life and raced toward Adam. Hoss, Joe and the others were left to follow behind in amazement. This girl had some gall and some courage. She had Adam's stubbornness and temper. Almost in unison, they looked at each other and spoke out loud. "She's like a female Adam! This gonna be good!" They kicked their horses too, yelled a battle cry and sped towards the fray.


	2. Chapter 2

Cat didn't feel as confident as she approached the man on the large chestnut. She needed this job. Many a time she should have held her tongue to ensure she didn't get booted off a ranch without receiving her wages. Her feisty opinions got her into more trouble than her gender.

The truth was, she'd swallow her pride if she had to. She needed the wages this year. "Just remember, he's only the son," she said to herself. "He didn't hire you." Rebel snorted in agreement. Cat reined him in as they got close.

The chestnut faced away from her. That afforded her the opportunity to look the horse and rider over from the rear, unobserved. Reluctant to study the man right off, Cat noted the horse's coat had a glossy shine. The gelding was well looked after.

It wasn't a full quarter horse. It was taller and finer boned. It might even have the racing breed in it, an unusual choice of mount for a cattleman.

The horse was also highly strung. It flicked its head up and down wildly, straining the martingale it wore to curb the habit. It's legs danced impatiently. It was not a mount for an inexperienced rider. That told her a couple of things about its owner. He was a good horseman, looked after his animals well, yet had a taste for danger.

Her gaze traveled to the man. A wide, strong back was the first thing that took her eye. A blood red shirt clung to lean, hard muscles, outlined by the dampness of sweat. His sleeves were rolled up past his elbows. A thick, muscular forearm rested on one thigh, while the other signaled to workers further out among the herd.

He wore tanned leather gloves. It was easy to see he was used to hard physical work and wasn't the type to just give orders. He'd do a good day's work along with his men.

She brazenly followed the line of his strong back down to his butt. Cat had seen hundreds of cowboys, had grown up with them. But something about the way this man sat a horse made her flesh tingle. Even though his horse danced, flicked and pulled at the bit, he controlled it easily with a light rein and a firm squeeze from his powerful thighs.

Cat glanced along the length of him. She almost forgot to breathe as a strange heat poured through her. She didn't have time to dwell on her reaction to him though, as all of a sudden, he wheeled his horse around and stared straight at her.

Shadowed, almost black eyes surprised her with their intensity. The dark brows over them pulled up in surprise. He'd been going to say something, but his chain of thought had clearly been interrupted by Cat's presence.

She took a moment to flick her gaze over his tanned, oval face. The dark eyes matched the grim line of his lips perfectly. Smooth flesh stretched over high check bones. A straight nose ended with a softening roundness that clashed with his harsh expression. She guessed him to be close to thirty.

Had this man ever smiled?

The black Stetson he wore hid details of his hair and forehead. His neck was strong and thick, then further down, a few open buttons at his throat revealed a light smattering of raven black hair swirling up from his chest. Sweat glistened, caught in the errant curls. Cat swallowed, wondering why she even noticed, why her breath caught.

"May I help you?"

His was a rich voice, low, more sensual and educated than she'd been prepared for. There was no underlying tension in it. Either he looked grim and angry all the time, or he was very good at curbing his annoyance in the presence of those who hadn't caused it.

Cat took a deep breath and spoke up with a confidence she didn't feel. "Mr Cartwright?"

He nodded.

"I'm one of your new hands. What would you like me to do first?" Just in case he didn't realize she was a woman, she slid the hat off her head and challenged him with a defiant stare.

The eyes didn't change, but the brows arched. He shifted his butt in the saddle ever so slightly, leaned one arm behind him to settle on the chestnut's rear and stared at her for a few seconds. Cat, feeling self-conscious, licked her dry lips and spoke again.

"What would you like me to do?"

"Now there's an interesting question," he said slowly.

Again, Cat was caressed by the rich deep voice he projected. It set her nerves on edge but she pressed on. "I'm a good cutter. I notice the man you were pointing to is very slow. Would you like me to go assist him?" Her voice lost its strength as he continued to stare.

There was just the slightest change in his facial cast. He seemed to become colder. He allowed his eyes to wander all the way from the top of her head to the tip of her boots and back again. Her face heated with his slow, intimate appraisal.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, there must be some mistake," he finally said. "I don't employ women." He went to turn, as if that was the last he intended to say, but Cat wasn't going to let it go so easily.

"Well, I'm sorry, Mr Cartwright, but it appears you're not the boss of this ranch."

His head flicked back, and his mouth drew down in an even deeper frown.

Cat sat up straight and continued. "I've been employed by your father, and he intends for me to work here."

"Does he?" It wasn't posed as a question but more of a challenge.

"Yes, he does," she answered bravely.

Cat didn't miss the flash of anger, then the quick return to icy calm that crossed his face. She had a feeling that under normal circumstances, Adam Cartwright was an expert at controlling such emotions.

He moved his horse forward. The animal skipped, danced and flicked its head, yet ended up perfectly parallel to her grey stallion. At this distance, she could see his eyes weren't truly black, but a warm hazel brown. Some of his menacing advantage faded.

"I'm experienced," she said, trying not to let her eyes wander over his impressive chest, hidden only by thin red cotton.

He took another long, hard look at her. "Experienced at what?"

There was no mistaking the insult. Cat turned red. She barely managed to hold her growing temper. Rebel felt the trembling of her limbs and shifted impatiently beneath her.

"Ranch work: cutting cattle, branding, fencing, and fighting." She added the last one for good measure. Did his brow lift a fraction more with surprise, or was it amusement?

"Whatever it is that you **think** you're an expert at, ma'am, you're not practising it on this ranch. I'll get my father to give you some wages for your trouble." He went to turn away again.

"Like hell you will!" Cat answered in a scathing tone.

He turned back, slowly. "What did you say?" Despite his protesting horse, he crossed his arms over his broad chest, governing the animal with only his lower body.

"I said, like hell you will," She repeated bravely. Cat had nothing to lose. "I'm here to work! I'm no pampered school marm out on a Sunday picnic around the ranch. I can cut it with the best your workers." Cat crossed her arms, mirroring his action. "And I could match **you** any day."

Adam stared her down then suddenly barked out an order.

"Hoss, Joe! Both of you, get over here. Now!"

The two of them heard, but approached with uneasiness. Adam was the oldest and by far the most bossy of the three Cartwright boys. He'd just turned twenty-seven, which made him six years older than Hoss and almost twelve years older than Joe was.

Therefore, instead of an older brother, to Joe he was more like a second father. With the demands of the ranch so enormous, Ben and Adam's relationship had developed into one that resembled that of business partners, rather than father and son. Adam and Hoss were close, but Adam certainly had much more of a business persona, so out here, he was definitely in charge.

While they loved their brother unequivocally, Hoss and Joe were also to some degree scared of him when he was in this kind of mood. He was an intimidating figure, and with it, his preference for dressing mainly in black added to his dark, brooding image. Hoss approached him first, followed by Joe. They both looked worried.

Adam sat his horse with a look of thunder, more menacing than they had ever seen before. Opposite him sat Cat. To her credit, she looked equally as stubborn. She was standing up to Adam with great courage.

"Just what is going on back at the ranch? Pa must have lost his mind. This . . . this lady thinks she's working out here." The voice was loud, but controlled. Adam's dark eyes burned angrily.

"Mr Cartwright, don't talk about me as if I weren't here. Hoss, Joe, kindly tell your brother that I **have** been employed by your father."

"That's right Adam," Joe managed. "She can ride like you wouldn't believe. Pa hired her last night."

"Yeah, Adam. You should see this little gal ride a bronc, she's amazin'." Hoss's voice petered out when the 'death stare' was aimed in his direction.

Adam sidled up to his brothers and spoke in a low, ominous tone. "Listen up boys, you better get this woman out of my sight right now. I've had it up to here with incompetent hands." He pointed at his throat with a dramatic gesture. "The way we're going, we're never going to get through this herd by next year, let alone next month! You tell Pa he'd better get some decent hands out here, or we'll have a disaster on our hands this summer."

"Adam," Joe began.

"Don't interrupt me, Little Joe. What was he thinking, hiring a woman? He's been out in the sun too "

"-Adam."

"Joe! As I was saying, Hoss you get back to the ranch and-"

"-But Adam!"

"Will you stop interrupting me?"

"But look, she's amazin'!" Joe pointed in a stunned manner at the center of the herd. Adam looked around in frustration, then stared in surprise. Hoss gaped.

Sick of their argument, Cat had galloped away from them and had started to cut cattle. The Cartwright's watched, momentarily stunned. Never had they seen anyone cut, rope and tie a calf as fast and as economically as they were watching Cat do it now. Her horse seemed to separate the animals without instruction.

She slung the rope low and even. Capturing a calf at every attempt, she quickly jumped off Rebel and tied the legs in a split second. The branding team, after a few minutes of bewildered silence, rushed over to each beast and branded it.

Each animal took no more than a couple of minutes. Adam, Hoss and Joe watched for a good while in a kind of shock. Hoss was the first to speak.

"Well, if that ain't the dog-gondest thing I ever did see. I ain't never seen anyone rope like that before, not even Chick Hammond, and he's the best in the territory."

Joe gave a low whistle as he continued to watch.

"That's six I count already. She's makin' me tired just watchin' her." He turned to check Adam's reaction. It was hard to tell with Adam, but Joe made himself an even bet that he was furious. Adam didn't like to be proved wrong.

"Well, big brother, what do you think?"

Adam turned to Joe and Hoss, a frown on his face.

"Let's see what she's like at sundown. Ten hours in this hot sun will soon wear out her enthusiasm."

With that cutting remark, he kicked Sport in the sides and rushed off to the center of attention. Joe and Hoss looked at each other once again, with a knowing glance. Adam was going to make her life miserable.

There was nothing surer. She wouldn't last.

Ben enjoyed a pleasant ride out from the ranch to the branding paddock. Things had been going well for the ranch lately and his sons were getting on remarkably well. The winter had been kind and the ranch was in good condition. They were a little short handed. With the boom in silver strikes recently, most men opted for mining work rather then ranching because of the higher pay. But Ben knew they would get through with honest hard work.

Life was good. He looked forward to overseeing Adam as branding boss. He always did such a responsible job. It was hard to believe it was three years since Adam had returned home from college. For a while, Ben had worried that Adam would remain in the east.

Ben admitted he was at ease with his eldest son in command. Adam was so capable, so cool-headed and in control for a young man. Ben rode over the rise close to the camp.

He was also curious to see how the new girl was doing. As he calmly surveyed the scene, he noticed a small gathering of men over near the stream. There seemed to be something going on.

Astonishingly, he noticed signs of a fight. Startled into action, he kicked Buck and started down the hill. Shouting and badgering sounds reached him as he approached. He hurried his mount towards the ruckus. It wasn't like Adam to allow a fight amongst the hands, even if it was during a break.

"What's going on?" Ben's booming voice rang out and some of the onlookers turned to see the commanding sight of Ben Cartwright bearing down on them. They soon started to scuttle away, clearing a path to the center of the trouble.

Ben was dazed. Half in and half out of the water was his son, Adam, covered in mud, with Hoss straining to hold him back. On the other side and also splattered with silt, was Cat. Little Joe and Hank had hold of her, barely, as she struggled wildly to be free.

"Now come on, you two. Ain't you had enough yet?" said Hoss. Hoss was valiantly trying to hold brother, but due to the slippery conditions, he lost control at the same time Hank and Joe did. Adam and Cat hurtled toward each other.

Ben winced as the two slammed together. Cat grabbed Adam around the waist and forced him into the water with a wrestling lock. Adam twisted around, managed to free himself and wrenched her arm behind her back to try and restrict her movement. All the boys cheered as they watched the best doggoned brawl they'd seen all month. Ben was in utter disgust.

"Adam!" The loud compelling voice had instant effect. Adam emerged quickly from underneath the muddied reeds, where he'd just been unceremoniously dumped. Cat got to her feet too after Adam released her arm out of the bear lock. Both stood at a poor attention, practically falling over from exhaustion. Ben steadied himself for the dressing down.

"All of you, get back to work," he bellowed. The men scattered without trace, including Hoss and Little Joe, leaving him to look at the sorry mess of his number one son and new ranch hand.

"Get cleaned up, both of you. I expect a full explanation. Cat, I want to see you in five minutes at the chuck wagon. Adam, I'll talk to you after that." He turned and stormed off, his bewilderment complete.

He'd hoped the two would work together. Obviously that was not going to be the case. It was amazing any work had been done at all. But as he looked around, he could see a great deal was completed. Thank goodness for small mercies. Reaching the wagon, Ben poured himself a coffee and waited.

About ten minutes later a sheepish Adam walked or rather limped up to the wagon. He was cleaner, but had a torn shirt and dishevelled hair.

Behind him some distance, Cat followed. Also roughed up, she rubbed her arm and held a damp cloth to a bruise on her head. Both avoided walking anywhere near the other. Ben sighed as he got ready to lay down the law.

"Adam, leave me for a minute." Adam slunk off behind the wagon to wait for his father's orders. He might be an adult, but Ben still had a menacing way when he was angry. Cat arrived and stood in front of him, looking very guilty.

Cat, what have you got to say for yourself?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Well, I, he . . ."

"Why were you fighting?"

"It was my fault, Mr Cartwright. I just got mad, that's all. When he said I couldn't do the work because I was a woman, I snapped. You don't know how many times I've been told that. But, it isn't true, I can do just as good a job as any man."

Ben could imagine Adam thinking that, even saying it. He could see her point, but he still wasn't happy with how she'd handled it. "Even so, Adam is your boss. I can't employ someone who can't follow orders can I?"

"No, sir." Cat looked down, and kicked dejectedly at the ground.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you right now?" Ben looked at her with a wary eye. "Well?"

"You need the branding done?" For once, Cat sounded hesitant.

"Yes, I do, don't I." Ben had a feeling about her, that somehow she'd be a good, loyal worker. It was also quite possible that Adam had behaved unreasonably toward her too. He'd been under a lot of strain recently. They'd both expanded the ranch operations ten fold in the last two years and lost many workers to the gold rush. Adam knew he was behind schedule and had been working long hard hours to try and catch up.

Ben decided Cat deserved a second change.

"All right, go back to the bunkhouse and get cleaned up. I expect you back out here and working after lunch, is that clear?" Ben kept his voice even and calm. She was obviously relieved.

"Yes, Mr Cartwright. I won't let you down again." She backed away and returned to her horse. Ben then sighed and called out to Adam.

Once he appeared, Ben narrowed his eyes and frowned.

"Well, what do you have to say about this, son? You of all people, I expect to set an example. How can I run this ranch if I can't depend on you?" Adam grimaced then offered the explanation.

"She started it!"

"What did you say?" Ben could hardly believe it.

"I said "

"-Never mind! You're acting like a ten-year old school boy. If it helps, she already took the blame for staring it, but I wonder just how far you pushed her first. I don't care who started it, or why anymore. I want a guarantee that the two of you can work together to finish this job."

"But Pa, she's a woman!"

"So? That means nothing out here. Our job is to get these cattle branded and out into the high country for summer grazing as soon as possible. The gender of a person doesn't come into it if she can do the work. And, I think she can, am I right?"

Adam opened his mouth to protest, but seemed to reconsider. "Maybe," he grumbled.

Ben raised his eyebrows. Adam wasn't prone to giving in very easily, and he felt sure this would not be the last of the trouble, but for now, he'd leave it alone. He knew Adam was under strain trying to stick to their tight schedule with the cattle.

They had to have the herds in place earlier than usual this year because they'd won a large timber contract that had to been fulfilled before the cattle drive in the fall. Ben felt sure that things would settle down.

"Want to take some time off to see to your wounds?"

Adam flashed his eyes with stubbornness. "I'm all right."

Ben almost grinned at Adam's damaged ego. "Okay then, I'll see you later."

Ben did chuckle this time as he watched his sometimes pig-headed son limp away. Lucky the Cartwright boys had hard heads, he thought not for the first time.

Although, along with that, Ben also worried that Adam had developed a hard heart as well.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day dawned clear and hot. Cat was up at the crack of dawn and into the work before most of the others had even poured their morning coffee. She hadn't beaten Adam though. He was there, watching her every move, keeping pace with her in a silent angry way.

They didn't speak. They just worked hard, hoping to prove the other incompetent. This was the type of competitiveness she'd experienced with her brothers, but that had been half in fun. This was all business.

Adam Cartwright didn't like her, or the fact that she was here. He wouldn't admit she was good at the job. Neither would he allow her any room to slacken off. Her head was still thumping where he'd elbowed her in the fight the day before.

Cat was still not really sure what had happened to her. She'd let her temper win. He'd pushed her all morning. Knowing she was faster than the others were, she noticed he'd tried to increase her workload to ensure she would falter by running out of steam. Maybe she'd made too much of it. Other bosses had certainly given her a much harder time in the past. But after so many years of similar treatment, she'd been at the end of her tether.

That's when she'd come undone. Cat had calmly dismounted, walked over to where Adam was standing by the fire yelling orders and slammed him in the stomach with her fist. The look on his face bore shock and outrage. She hadn't hurt him, but his pride was clearly dented.

Adam's expression turned mean, and he slowly approached her. Cat didn't wait for him to grab her; she launched a full on attack first, using the wrestling skills taught to her by her brothers. Next thing she knew, they were in the river, and the rest was history.

She chanced a brief look at him now, and grinned at the visible bruises on his neck. Arrogant pig, were the words that came to mind. He'd better watch out, Cartwright or not. Burly brothers had brought her up. She was no simpering female who couldn't fight. The sooner Adam Cartwright realized that and left her alone, the happier she'd be.

She continued to think about him throughout the morning, as she roped and hog-tied dozens of calves. As the sun's rays increased in heat, she rehashed their fight. The first time they'd collided, it felt like she'd hit a brick wall. It confirmed her first thought about him. The planes of his body were all muscle.

Even though he'd wrestled her, he hadn't bruised her arms or waist. Curious, because he was a very powerful man. Cat could brawl with the best of them, but she knew Adam could really have hurt her if he'd wanted to. Instead, the only injury was the one on her head, caused when they'd both slipped in the mud, and he'd elbowed her unintentionally. In the midst of anger, he'd held back. That redeemed him ever so slightly.

Then, Cat's mind started to recall disturbing things: the heat from his body when they'd been locked in battle, the firmness of his hold when he'd first tried to stop her assault, the closeness of his mouth when he'd turned her into his chest.

Cat reddened at the outrageous memory, and pulled her hat low on her head. She must be getting too much sun!

Adam's back felt like it was breaking by the end of the day, but still he wouldn't slacken off. He was keeping up with Cat if it killed him. No girl was going to get the better of him out here.

He still couldn't believe she'd provoked him into a fight. He'd lost all control and that wasn't like him at all. She deserved a good hiding, but he dare not go near her today. Pa had been keeping a close eye on him and Adam wasn't about to lower himself to those standards again so soon. Just wait, he thought as he watched her neatly rope another calf. Your turn will come.

But, as he watched Cat throughout the morning, he couldn't help admire her courage and spirit. She was quite strong, yet disturbingly feminine as he'd found out during the fight. Adam cursed as he missed the calf he aimed his rope for. He glanced over at Cat, but she hadn't seen his blunder. He sighed gratefully, hauled in his rope and tossed the lariat again.

Why had she surprised him so when she'd slammed into him like that? Was it because her body had flattened against him and shocked him with its softness? She dressed in oversized buckskins and a thick work shirt, which hid any curves she might possess. Did possess, he corrected wryly. She definitely restrained her breasts somehow, for he'd felt their bound firmness as they'd slid against one another in the mud.

"Damn," he muttered as he missed another calf.

Adam looped his rope again and chastised himself for thinking such thoughts. He hadn't gripped her hard during the fight. He'd just tried to hold her down. She was a hell-cat, like her name. But he really did hope he hadn't hurt her. He'd seen the bruise on her forehead and felt bad about it. Adam never would intentionally hurt a woman. But sorry wouldn't seem sincere under the circumstances.

What the hell was she doing here anyway? Where had she come from and how did she ever learn such great cattle skills? She'd be a thorn in his side, a problem to be rid of, nothing surer. Yet, as the day dragged on and he watched her work, his was intrigued.

The grey she rode was a magnificent animal. It was a Spanish Lipizzaner stallion. He'd seen a couple when he and his father had visited a rich Mexican rancher several years ago. The horse had to be worth a small fortune. He'd never seen one work cattle before, but it was excellent in skill if not a quite as agile as her smaller pony. How would someone like her, a ranch hand working her way around the area, get such an animal?

The grey didn't do the majority of the work though. She also had a tough little mustang that she used for the bulk of the day. He barely broke a sweat after hours of roping. One of the best trained cow pony's he'd seen, he wondering if she had trained it herself. She sat her horse as if she'd been born on it, but she wasn't a girl without education either.

Cat's nerve and ability started to fascinate him. And so did those damn green eyes. He frowned harder. No woman was going to get the better of him again: not on the range, not anywhere. He wouldn't be responsible for her, nor would he feel guilty when she eventually got into trouble either with the work or the men.

Her very interesting derrière caught his eye as she bent over to tie yet another calf. He jerked his gaze away; he didn't have time for this.

Adam, irked with himself, spurred Sport in the opposite direction. He needed to check the part of the herd that was way up the other end of the gully: the group that was grazing furthermost from Cat's butt.

Everyone was thankful when the day's work came to an end, especially Cat. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was exhausted. She'd done probably twice as much work as she would normally do in a day. She'd had to change horses four times. Yet so had Adam, she thought with infantile satisfaction.

Instead of heading back to the bunkhouse, she set up her bedroll by the fire. It was her turn, among several others, to be night herders. She didn't look forward to sleeping on the hard ground in between her two-hour shifts, but at least the sky was clear and the stars would be out. Perhaps they might take her mind off the problem of Adam Cartwright. She refused to look for him as she settled around the fire to wait for supper.

She saw Hoss and Little Joe, who'd spent the day wielding branding irons and stoking fires. The two of them laughed and joked as if they didn't have a care in the world. They probably didn't, Cat thought, as she chose to sit beside them.

Ben watched Cat and his son slump down wearily on opposite sides of the camp fire, their backs half turned so their eyes wouldn't meet. They'd silently challenged each other all day. Through their stubbornness, the branding was back on schedule again, probably ahead.

Still, Ben was worried. If Cat was such a problem to Adam, it was not fair that she stay. He couldn't make life miserable for his son. Some of Adam's objections were valid. The main one was her personal safety.

The men in the current crew seemed to respect her, but there was no guarantee everyone he hired would give her the same regard. He remembered a terrible occurrence at a neighboring ranch a few years back; a female cook had been raped and murdered by a passing drifter doing a few days work.

Cat was no doubt able to look after herself to some degree, as she'd proved by standing up to Adam in their fight, but Ben also knew that his son had been careful not to unleash his full strength on her whether Cat realized it or not.

Ben decided there and then to stay out at the camp for the night, just to make sure all remained peaceful. Little Joe was talking to Cat and Hoss was watching Adam quietly, ready to prevent an incident if necessary. With any luck, they'd get through the night without a surly word being spoken.

Ben sat down and found a flat rock to lean against and tried not to think about his soft bed at the house.

All through dinner, Cat was on her best behavior. She needed the job, so she had to find another way to settle the score with Adam. She gave him a sideways glance when she felt it safe to do so, quickly looking away when she realized he was doing the same thing.

She knew it was immature of her to act this way. But, there was just something about him. He got under her skin like a burr under a saddle blanket. Not that he wasn't a handsome man, quite the contrary. If Cat listed all the physical attributes in a man that would appeal to her, Adam Cartwright would be on the top of the list: tall, dark hair and eyes, rugged and very capable.

But he was on the bottom of every other list she could think of. Stubborn, egotistical, arrogant, rude, etc, etc, etc! In Cat's opinion, this counted a lot more than his physical appearance. She could tell when two people were totally incompatible.

All she cared about in life was settling her debts and rebuilding her ranch, without the help of anyone else. There was no room for a man in her life.

A man?

Why that thought even popped into her head? She'd been thinking about the enemy, Adam. This job would be heaven if it weren't for him. Cat poured some coffee and shook her head. All this agitation was making her crazy. She would just try to ignore him as best she could until the job was over.

Cat took a chance and looked in his direction, only to see him frowning at her. His steely gaze made her feel very uncomfortable.

Didn't he ever smile she wondered again.

She tried to imagine it, wondering if he'd grow more handsome with it. A hot blush crept up her flesh and settled on her face. She quickly turned away and brought her attention back to Hoss and Little Joe's conversation.

Why did Adam unsettle her? What was so different about him that put her on edge? Trying to ignore the problem, she joined into the boy's discussion about trapping coyotes. They were suitably impressed when she knew quite a bit on the subject. All the time though, she was aware that of a pair of dark hazel eyes watched her every move.

Adam kept one eye on her and one eye on his brothers. When they stopped being the annoying watchdogs they were proving to be at the moment, he was going to sort this mess out once and for all.

He'd caught her green eyes for a brief moment earlier and felt exposed. What a frustrating woman she was. She could be attractive if she only dressed and acted like she should! What did she think she was playing at anyhow, being a ranch hand?

He reluctantly admitted she was worthy of the job, but overall, this was no place for a woman. Determined to prove it, he'd see to it that she had an early retirement, at least from the Ponderosa.

She made him uncomfortable and less effective at doing his job. Any woman, even one that dressed and worked like a man, would eventually cause trouble with the men. That would be the deciding factor. He'd have to try and put a stop to it before anything bad happened to her. He'd have to take responsibility for protecting her and that would make him less effective at his job, he thought with a heavy sigh.

That led to the other reason he resented her presence, but it wasn't one Adam would own up to: not to his family or to himself. He buried the dark thoughts deep inside him and refused to examine them. He'd prided himself on being the protector of the family. He hated failure. He didn't need a woman to look out for. He already had enough on his plate. What right did she have to place this extra burden on his already heavily laden shoulders?

He chanced another look in her direction. She was chatting with Hoss and Joe. All of a sudden, she broke into laughter as they shared a joke with them. Adam felt something in the pit of his stomach lurch unexpectedly.

Her face shone with a genuine smile. A small dimple touched the corner of one cheek. Her green eyes glowed with mirth, and her wild dark hair had managed to escape in tendrils from the confines of its regular braid. Tangled dark red curls glowed in the light from the campfire's flames. For a moment, the sight mesmerized him.

Adam turned away, confused and angry with himself. He'd obviously been out on the range too long. He couldn't possibly find her remotely attractive! He made a mental note to go to Virginia City on Saturday night. He must be long overdue for a visit with one of the alluring saloon girls that frequented the place. He didn't look at Cat again. Instead, he went for a walk down to the river to clear his muddled head.


	4. Chapter 4

"De'Maine! I need you down at the gully." Cat looked up from her task. She was in the middle of treating a cut on an injured calf.

"Isn't there someone else around?' she called with annoyance.

"No, and remember I'm range boss and you have to follow **my** orders today." Adam rode by and barked the reply. She frowned and took a deep breath.

"As if I could forget," she muttered under her breath. It took some will power for her not to snap back with a smart remark. Instead, she finished the calf quickly, pulled her gloves back on, mounted and rode down after him.

Cat followed his horse down into one of the river tributaries, which was currently giving them major problems. Over spring, melting snow from the adjacent mountains made its way down to this river, which in turn had been swollen for several weeks.

As they approached summer, the banks were retreating again. This left wide tracks of mud on each side. Cat looked down at the sodden ground and saw three animals in trouble - two cows and, unfortunately, a valuable breeding bull.

Adam stopped in front of her and looked around for a tree close enough to use as an anchor. They were out of luck as the trees were a good way back from the old bank.

"We'll have to do it the hard way." Adam's business-like attitude was fine by Cat. She just wanted it over and done with. The less time she spent in hiscompany, the better.

"Fine."

Cat unhooked her rope and tied one end to the pommel of Rebel's saddle. Adam did the same and in unison, they both spun the ropes above their heads and captured the closest cow. It bellowed as the ropes pulled tight around its throat. Then without a word, they backed their horses. That particular cow wasn't in too deep, so the combined power of the two horses forced it to move its legs forward. It managed to jump free of the deep bog and out of trouble. It wandered off to graze further up the bank.

Cat smiled. She was pleased the first one had been so easy. They both flicked their ropes loose and lined up the second cow. She was in a little deeper. They repeated their technique and after a longer struggle, the second cow was set free.

Neither Cat nor Adam spoke to each other as they worked. They knew what to do and didn't waste any words talking about it. But Cat knew that the bull was going to present a much harder challenge.

He was in the deepest mud up to his whithers and was facing more toward the river, not toward the bank. He also weighed twice as much as the cows did, so the strength of just the two horses might not be enough to shift him. Even so, they both roped the animal and tried to pull him out anyway. After several attempts, and the cinches on their saddles stretched to the limit, Cat knew this was going to require getting dirty. She was about to say something when Adam got down from Sport and handed the reins to her.

"I'll turn him round and give him a push."

Cat watched as Adam waded into the mud. The thick, sticky substance sucked him down as he walked. His legs were almost swallowed when he finally got to the bull. It bellowed at him as he got behind its shoulder.

"Okay, on three, get the horses to pull. I'll try and steer him toward the bank." When he counted to three, Cat backed the horses up. They strained under the weight and the bull let out a roar of protest.

After two tries they'd managed to get the bull turned around. But, as they tried to get him to move forward, he dug into the mud and refused to budge. Cat knew she had to help Adam.

Her horse was well trained, and she knew Rebel at least would back from her signal. For some reason, Sport seemed calmer around her horse, so she hoped he would follow Rebel's lead.

She dismounted and plunged into the murky mud. She didn't mind mud, as long as she could clean up afterward. It wasn't easy bathing when you worked with a crew of men, but she usually found a way. Her chaps stuck to her trousers as she got in deeper. It was hard to walk, but the determination not to fail in front of her boss pushed her along.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. His face was covered in sweat and his chest was heaving with exertion. Cat's eyes wandered and for a split second she actually found herself admiring his fit, hard body. She pushed the annoying thoughts to the back of her brain, and replied.

"I'm getting this bull out, any objections?"

"Oh, and who's going to pull? Pecos Bill?"

"There's no doubt he'd come in handy, but you know, I have a smart horse back there, even if you don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Adam looked down his nose at her.

"Nothing, only, that horse of yours could do with a bit more training. It's far too highly strung."

"Is that right, and I suppose your horse can make coffee and rope cattle on his own too, huh?"

"That's right." Cat smiled smugly at Adam and looked beyond the bull's rump to her horse. She raised her hand and dropped it and at the same time called "back".

To Adam's amazement, the big grey started to reverse. Sport mimicked him and remarkably they both began to pull. Cat wedged her shoulders into the big rump in front of her. She pushed with all her might.

"Well, come on Cartwright. I need some help here!" She yelled and almost started to laugh at his stunned expression.

But, Adam didn't waste the opportunity. He muscled in behind the animal and threw all his weight into it. The bull bellowed and roared and for a minute, they thought it was not going to move. Then, with one all mighty heave, the bull jumped forward and scrambled out. With the slackened rope the horses stopped pulling and stayed put. Luckily the bull stopped in shock at the fringe of the bog.

Meanwhile, after trying to jump clear of flying hooves, Adam and Cat fell backwards into the mud. They couldn't stop the propulsion, and both made a loud 'splat' as they hit.

Cat cringed as she felt the cold, icky substance seep through her shirt. To top it all off, by the smell of it, there was more than mud in here. Raising her head up, she looked across at Adam. He too had landed deep in the mire. As he hauled himself back up, Cat started to laugh. His face was full of thunder as he cussed at the bull in a very common manner.

"What's the matter, Cartwright? Can't take getting a little dirty?" Cat dragged herself up and looked down at her mud-covered body. Adam didn't answer but gave her a look that would have scared off wild bears. Cat held her tongue and wiped mud from her arms.

"You'll keep," he hissed. They both tried to take another step forward, but their boots were dug in so deep, neither of them moved. Instead, they fell forward, and out of instinct, they grabbed for each other in a hope of stabilizing. It didn't work, and suddenly, they were both in the mud again. Only thing was this time, Adam landed on top of Cat.

"Ugh!" Cat had the wind knocked out of her lungs as Adam's large frame fell onto her.

"Damn it!" Adam quickly tried to get off, but the buckles on their chaps somehow became hooked together.

"Get off me, you big oaf!"

"I'm trying!" Adam struggled with the buckles with no success. He lay forward again, and suddenly, they were both staring into each other's angry, frustrated eyes. Their bodies were touching all the way along, and Cat felt a deep red blush creep over her skin. She felt his hard muscles crushing against her. It wasn't all together an unpleasant feeling.

"Maybe you can try," he managed. Adam was held in limbo for a moment by the peculiar position. he'd been trying to convince himself that Cat was just an annoying woman with no feminine charms. He realized, as his body molded to her soft figure that he'd been wrong about that. He needed to get out of this bog, right now!

"I'll go sideways, you try and unhook us." Cat nodded, and hoped he didn't notice her scarlet face.

Adam rolled to the side as best he could. Cat reached down and fumbled with the buckles on their chaps. As she worked to release them, her fingers couldn't help but brush against Adam's upper thighs, and worse. Cat blushed anew as she realized the hard surface she encountered was nothing she'd ever touched before. With sheer panic, she wrenched the buckles apart, snapping hers in the process.

"I broke it." Cat said almost to herself.

"Yeah, so you did." Adam's reply sounded strained. Cat looked up and for a moment, they considered each other's puzzled expressions. Adam noticed how her hair, when covered in mud began to curl at her forehead. Cat observed how Adam's long lashes framed his angry, deep hazel eyes perfectly.

After a second, they shrugged off the strange spell and scrambled to their feet once again. They walked more carefully this time and after a couple of minutes, they felt firm ground beneath them. They concerned themselves with the animals first and released the ropes. They then herded the cattle by foot up the embankment and towards open and dry pasture.

Cat eventually returned to Rebel and stroked his thick arched neck with appreciation.

"You're such a smart boy." She leaned forward and kissed the stallion's nose. The animal whickered and nudged her back.

Adam watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her green eyes sparkled with love for the horse. Her voice became husky as she murmured words of praise. Adam followed the path of her hand as it slowly stroked the horse's sleek grey neck. He was momentarily mesmerized by the gentle caress she bestowed on the animal. For a brief moment, an unfamiliar shiver ran up his spine. It confused him as the image of her hand sliding sensuously along his skin ventured into his mind.

Then she turned her eyes towards him and the light in them went out, as did the mental image of her in Adam's thoughts. She frowned.

"I have to clean up. Where's the best place around here?"

"A little ways back. Come on." Adam busied himself with brushing off as much wet mud as he could before mounting. Cat followed his lead and they headed off toward the water hole.

Neither of them spoke as the horses walked along. Cat tugged at her shirt. She hated being so filthy and the mud was making her itch. Even though Adam wasn't showing signs of discomfort, she'd noticed he was always clean and neatly dressed, so he'd have to dislike being dirty as well.

They came across a small inlet and shallow pool which thankfully wasn't surrounded by mud.

"This is it. You go first. I'll keep watch." Adam hooked one leg over his saddle and glanced over to Cat.

"Oh, no you don't! You go first, and I'll keep watch, then when you're done, I want you out of the area entirely!"

"That's not very smart. What if one of the men came along?"

"You can keep lookout from the other side of the hill! Now, I'll take Sport and you go wash!" She moved Rebel up and snatched Adam's reins from him.

"If you insist, on one condition."

"What?" she snapped.

Adam had a sudden urge to tease. "Come scrub my back?" he asked in honeyed tones.

Adam's sudden switch from deadly serious to smoothly seductive shocked and outraged Cat. Her face turned red and her lip lifted in scorn. He laughed aloud and smiled widely at her sour expression.

"I'll just let that pass," she hissed through clenched teeth, while the woman lurking behind her shell warmed to the rare smile that transformed his usual icy calm.

"Okay. Sorry you won't join me. Some ladies have been known to enjoy it."

"Oh really, and I suppose you think you're God's gift do you?"

"I've heard a few damsels calling on their maker as we dallied." Adam spoke in an exaggerated English accent.

"Yeah, probably for deliverance from your clutches," she shot back.

They both refused to acknowledge that they were enjoying their little exchange. Adam started to undress. Cat didn't register that fact straight away, and when she looked back at him, his shirt was discarded.

Her heart rate increased as she stared at his big, powerful naked chest. Even though she worked with men constantly and had seen many a bare chest, this was different somehow. It affected her in a way she never would have imagined. Her pulse increased and for some reason, her mind flicked back to a few minutes earlier, when she'd unwittingly touched his thighs.

"Well?" Adam crossed his muscled arms and stared at her.

"Well what?" Cat managed.

"I don't intend to let you watch me if I can't watch you." A small smile still played on Adam's lips as her anger resurfaced.

"As if I'd want to!" She wheeled the horses around and urged them up and towards the rise behind the pool. Adam felt like being facetious. He spoke out in his best Shakespearean voice, although his tone clearly mocked the passage.

"With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls.

For stony limits cannot hold love out,

And what love can do, that dares love attempt.

Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me."

Adam smiled with superiority as she stopped her horse. Then, he raised his eyebrows in shock as she answered with the correct response; only she said it with a sinister inflection.

"If they do see thee, they will **murder** thee." She tipped her chin up, thumbed her nose at him, and then rode away. Adam watched, intrigued by her reply. She knew how to pull cattle out of the mud **and** she knew Shakespeare. His expression was thoughtful as she rode out of sight.

"Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords," he finished to himself, as he watched her disappear.


	5. Chapter 5

Silence prevailed for a while as they rode back to the main camp. Cat stole a few fleeting glimpses of Adam. He was back to projecting his solemn, unsmiling image. Had she imagined their intriguing verbal exchange?

"How do you know Shakespeare," she finally blurted. He glanced at her quickly, then looked away again. He waited a good while before he answered her.

"Why shouldn't I know it?"

"Well, I . . ." Cat didn't want to make her situation worse by insulting him. How could it be worse? "You're a cowboy. You've been born and raised working on a ranch. I've worked with hundreds of men just like you. I've never met one who knew Shakespeare before."

"Men just like me, huh?"

"Yes."

"Men with no education, no brains, no "

"-I didn't mean that, exactly."

"Then what did you mean?" He turned to her and focused his intense gaze on her.

"I just wanted to know how a person who's so busy with a cattle ranch knows Shakespeare."

"You know it. You work on a cattle ranch."

Cat frowned. "But that's different."

"Why?" He turned his whole upper body toward her this time. He leaned back and lazily placed his hand on his horse's rump.

"It's different because I'm "

" A woman? But I thought you liked to be treated the same as a man. Women aren't any different to men, according to you."

Cat shifted uneasily in her saddle. He was maneuvering her into a trap. "Of course they're different. What I think is that a person is shaped by the way they are brought up, by what they're taught and by how much they learn to believe in themselves, as much as by their gender. A woman can be as good as a man, if she's given the same opportunities and training."

"You can't mean that a woman is as strong as a man, physically."

"Not often, no." Cat looked up into Adam's interested face. He seemed to be very absorbed in their conversation. He'd also neatly turned the subject to her. "Of course I realize I'm not as strong as some men." She unconsciously looked at his frame. "But I've found ways around that. I've learned how to use what I've got to the best advantage."

"Hmm," he said, leaving his eyes focused on hers. "Trouble is, you think you're stronger than you are. That could lead to trouble if you were attacked by an outlaw, or even one of your fellow ranch hands."

Cat wanted to look away, but she willed herself to keep calm. Should she admit the truth? She'd never been good at lying.

"I've been threatened before. I lived through it all right."

"Were you hurt?"

Of course, he'd probably feel sorry for her. He was the big protector of the Ponderosa, wasn't he? Men like him thought it was their job to cosset all the women in their care.

"Not as much as I hurt him," she answered proudly.

He seemed to consider her answer for a moment, then shook his head slightly. "Whatever you think you can or cannot handle, the fact remains, women don't belong out here. The odds are stacked against you." Adam spoke in a clipped, measured way.

"You think I don't know that?" Cat turned away and stared out at the vast, lush valley. "Trouble is, what do you do when it's the only thing you're good at and you have no choice?" Damn! Why had she said such a personal thing? She dare not look at him, but he gave her an out.

"I believe you asked how I know Shakespeare."

She was grateful for the change of subject. "I did."

Adam pulled his horse alongside hers. "Simple, it gets colder than a polar bear's nose up here in the winter time. We're snowbound for five months of the year."

"Must be boring."

"Yeah, sometimes. I've read everything in the house several times."

"That explains it."

"I also went to college in the east where I studied engineering, architecture and even a little bit of Shakespeare."

"What?" Cat was floored.

"But I'm only a cattle rancher so I'm sure you wouldn't be interested to know that."

"I "

" Yes sir, not much else to do but read during those long, cold nights."

Cat swallowed nervously. He looked at her in the most disturbing way. He'd been to college? And what would it be like, to spend days and weeks on end shut up in the house, cut off from town and neighbors? What would it be like to be holed up in a house with Adam Cartwright for all that time?

I wouldn't get much reading done.

Cat gasped. Where had that thought come from? She hadn't said it aloud, had she? There was that small smile of his again. Adam's hazel eyes twinkled cheekily, as if he guessed her horrifying thought.

"You, on the other hand, would be an entertaining distraction in wintertime."

Cat felt a hot flush creep along her skin at his comment.

"I bet you throw a mean snowball."

She relaxed. "I do," she said, trying to appear casual. "I also recite Shakespeare more convincingly than you do."

"Ah, really?" They both urged their mounts forward again, topping the last rise before they rejoined the herd.

"I'll look forward to you performing a bit more of Romeo and Juliet for the cattle than, shall I?" Adam asked.

"Nothing so sickly sweet as that! I'll present Macbeth - it's much more exciting. The scene where he gets his head severed is my absolute favorite."

"I always enjoyed the part where Lady Macbeth meets her terrible end," he said smugly.

"Then we shall "

"Adam! We need you down at the gully."

Cat turned to see Joe flying toward them on new pinto.

"What's going on?" Adam called. Did his voice hold a hint of annoyance at the interruption?

"It's Will, he's been gored, bad."

"Ya!"

Adam spurred his horse and galloped off with Joe hot on his heels. Cat only hesitated for a second before kicking Rebel to a gallop. She would help whether they wanted her to or not.

A thousand thoughts flew through Adam's head as they raced to the gully. How bad was Will? Would he make it? What was he thinking flirting with Cat? She had to ask about Shakespeare. Why couldn't she be someone a little less intriguing? Why had he told her he'd been to college?

She'd had problems with men before. That was bad. He'd felt his anger rise when she'd told him that. He'd make damn sure she didn't get attacked on this ranch. It didn't matter that he wanted her gone. While she was here, she'd be protected. That was the only decent thing to do. She might think she didn't need help or protection, but she was fooling herself.

Then, he'd carelessly let his mind wander to the long, winter nights he spent penned up in the house. As he'd looked across at Cat, he suddenly had a vision of her exotic green eyes tinged with gold; a reflection from the fire that always danced in the huge stone fireplace inside his home. He thought of sitting before it with her by his side, reading quietly, her long legs curled beneath her.

"Here, Adam, down here," Joe instructed. Adam forced thoughts of Cat away as followed his kid brother into the gully and dismounted before Sport came to a complete stop.

Will Regan, his aging foreman lay on his side. Bright patches of blood seeped through his shirt and trousers. Hoss sat with him holding bandannas to the wounds.

"How bad Hoss?" asked Adam unnecessarily as he crouched down alongside them.

"He's gored through the thigh, forearm and side. They bled bad, but it's slowed now. the puncture wound around his ribs, don't know what's been damaged there.

"We should clean the wounds in hot salt water like I read about in that eastern newspaper last month. Then I'll stitch him up. Joe, get the medical bag from the chuck wagon."

"Before . . .I bleed . . .to death . . .you mean?" Will forced the words out, coughing in between.

They heard a horrific scream behind them. Will's horse was down, also gored.

"Put . . .him down . . .fellas. Don't . . .want Captain . . . to suffer.

"I might be able to treat him, Will," Hoss started.

"No . . .Hoss . . .you do . . .it. I know . . .you'll do it . . .right." He wheezed and coughed again.

Adam was grateful he didn't bring up any blood. He'd hate to loose the man who'd worked alongside he and his father since they'd formed the Ponderosa. Will's eyesight had been failing of late and he'd only last week convinced him to retire at the end of the season. He'd do all he could to save him. He couldn't even tell Carl, Will's son. He'd taken off to Mexico three years back.

"Hoss, you go take care of the horse."

"But Adam, you'll need help."

"I'll help." They both looked up as Cat appeared at their sides.

"Cat, go back to camp, there's nothing you can do here!" Adam stood up and barred her way. He didn't want her to witness such a gruesome scene.

"But there is." She pushed past, crouched down and stared at Will. "He wants a pretty surgeon, don't you Will?" Cat smiled warmly at the wounded man. He almost managed to smile back, even through his pain.

"You're a . . .might easier . . .on the eyes . . .than . . .these ugly brutes."

Cat laughed like a young, carefree girl at a party. "You see?"

Adam watched as she glanced around Will's body. She pulled material further away from the wounds, shooing flies as she went. Her change of demeanor stunned Adam.

"You're not stitching him! It's no job for a woman."

"Oh, I don't know," Cat said to both him and Will. "Woman are supposed to be good at needlework, aren't they? Besides, I owe Will for keeping the men on their side of the bunk house for me." She leaned back and spoke to Adam alone. "I know what I'm doing, trust me."

Adam had to make a decision. He looked into her unwavering, confident green eyes. He didn't like it. Why was he even listening to her? She'd faint any minute! She might think she was strong enough to prove this point to him, but he was damned if he was going to lose a good man over her pride. The first sign of incompetence, he'd push her away and take over.

"Here, Adam." Joe presented the medical bag, which contained silver surgical sewing needles, laudanum and bandages. Cat removed her gloves and retrieved the needles.

"Do you have any silk thread?" she asked.

"Doesn't seem to be any left," Little Joe said.

"It's hard to come by." Adam's heart plummeted. They'd used the last of it the month before when Hank had cut his leg. He'd ordered it from San Francisco but it had not yet turned up.

"No matter. Joe, pull several strands of hair out of Rebel's tail."

"What?" Adam raised his brows. "Horsehair is too stiff to stitch with."

"Not if you boil it first."

"You've done this before?" Adam was more astounded by the minute.

"Once or twice. Go get the hair, Joe. Mind you don't stand behind him when you pull it out. He doesn't particularly like giving up bits of his tail."

Adam almost smiled when two minutes later an outraged yelp of pain sounded from atop the gully.

"He forgot to sidestep," she said in a dry tone.

Hoss arrived with boiling water off the fire.

"Get a handful of salt from the chuck wagon," Adam said.

"Does that help?" Cat asked. Adam glanced up, pleased that he knew something she didn't.

"It seems to, though no doctor can really say why. I read about it in a newspaper I got from back east."

When Little Joe arrived with the horsehair and a bruised leg, Cat took the strands off the teenager and softened them in the boiling water. After a while they were pliant enough to use. She reached for a needle.

"I'll do it. I know the proper technique," Adam reached for the implements.

"So do I," Cat replied. "I've learned a thing or two from passing doctors over the years."

"Let . . .let her try, Adam," Will said. "I seen your stitching. Mighty . . .crooked."

Adam frowned as he continued to clean the wounds with salt water, then watched Cat deftly thread the curved needle.

Cat seemed to have won this round with Adam. She wasn't out to win respect, but she thought she had a good chance of saving Will.

"Let me tell you a story, Will," she began as she moved to his side. Cat disregarded Adam's annoyed glare and flashed a wide smile at Will as she began to stitch flesh. "I was brought up in a house full of men." She tried to divert Will's attention from his pain and from the gunshot that signaled Captain's demise. "They tried to get me to cook and sew, and do everything a young girl was supposed to want to do."

While she spoke, Cat started on a stitch called a twisted suture. A young Mexican doctor had showed her the technique.

She made a guess at the length of the wound on his leg and inserted the longest straight needle she could find on one side of the wound. With her curved needle, she then tunneled under the skin, across the wound and then pushed it out through the skin on the opposite side. Cat went as quickly as she could. The unique, dull sound of tearing flesh was drowned out by her gay, light tone.

"What . . .did . . .you . . .do?" Will, weaker by the minute, wanted her to talk. She noticed with surprise that Adam was using the same technique on Will's forearm.

"They tried to scare me into keeping house, by presenting their wounds for me to tend on a regular basis. Figured I'd be so repulsed, I'd run along home and hide in the kitchen."

"But . . .you . . .didn't." Will coughed again, and Joe trickled some more whiskey down his throat, hoping to deaden the pain and knock him out.

"I was too smart for them," she said brightly. She wrapped the horsehair sutures in a figure of eight fashion around the exposed head and point of the needle, pulling the wound edges together and holding the needle in place. "The way I saw it," she continued, "the odds were in the wounds' favor. On average, I only had to stitch my brothers up once every few weeks. If I had to darn socks, I'd be doing it every night! Do you have any idea how many socks are owned by a family of nine men?"

"Ha!" Will tried to laugh, but the pain claimed him, and he slipped into unconsciousness.

Adam glanced up and observed the change in Cat's face once Will was knocked out. She was a picture of concentration; her fingers worked furiously as she continued adding needles and doing the figure eight repair along the entire length of the wound. She was good at stitching; she hadn't lied.

She seemed to know as much as he did about the modern methods in doctoring. Owning a ranch the size of the Ponderosa called for knowledge in all things. He was constantly reading articles and seeking advice on how to improve their operation.

Cat seemed to recognize the urgency in closing the wounds quickly. She assisted him with the final stages. Much to his surprise, Cat had not been in the least squeamish at any time.

The chest wound was a much smaller cut, but it seemed the horn had punctured Will deep down. Adam took care of that wound and Cat sighed as Little Joe brought her more clean cloth bandages from the chuck wagon.

"I'm worried about his one," she said softly.

"Yeah, me too." Adam knew if the horn ruptured a major organ, Will didn't have much chance. He hadn't coughed blood; that was a good sign. "We shouldn't move him."

"Agreed. Lucky it isn't wet here," she added. "We'll need plenty of blankets. Sometimes you just can't bring 'em around after an injury like this. They get real cold and lethargic and just keep sinking."

He nodded, impressed with her insightful observations. Cat finished with the needles and sat back. Adam noted how she sighed with relief.

"Nine men?" he asked skeptically.

"Maybe not that many. I had to make it sound good." She lifted her lips in a slight smile, then got up and went to wash her bloody hands in the creek before applying the final bandages. Adam watched her walk away. He'd misjudged her. Even though she didn't belong here, he couldn't help admire her mettle after what he'd just witnessed.

"Adam, two of the men are fightin' further down by the creek." Adam looked up at Joe. He noticed how tired his little brother looked. He was only fifteen, after all. Everyone had worked extra hard the last few days to catch up, especially Joe. He made a mental note to give his brother a couple of days off. He wasn't old enough for full time ranch work yet. Even the older men were quarreling due to the heavy workload.

"What's it over?"

"Fred used Jake's tin cup again."

"I should have guessed. They'd better not stampede the cattle over that," he mumbled almost to himself. Adam sighed and for a moment hung his head with frustration.

"You go along; I'll finish this up," said Cat from his side. Adam raised his head. She'd returned from the water without him hearing her approach. He was annoyed that she'd viewed his lapse of control.

"Hoss will stay with you."

"I don't need a wet nurse," she replied in a sharp tone. "I can take care of myself **and** the patient without anyone's help."

"Hoss's staying." Adam watched Cat's anger escalate. She planted her feet slightly apart and put her hands on her hips. He didn't need her incessant whining about equality now! He didn't want his decisions questioned. He wanted Hoss with her, and that was that! How else could he keep her protected when he had a dozen things to oversee at any one time.

"I don't need-"

Adam sprang to his feet like a panther. "I'll tell you what you need, young lady. What you need is a good "

"Adam, come quick! Jake's holdin' Fred's face in a pile of cow dung."

Adam huffed and raked his fingers through his hair. "Great. I'm surrounded by fools and . . .and women!" He hurled the insult and sent Cat a superior stare as he strode away.

Cat, who'd just started to warm to him, tossed him right back in the bottom of the barrel again. If he were spoiling for another fight, he'd get it! What was wrong with him anyway? She'd proved herself many times over the previous three days, especially in the last hour. What did she have to do to affirm her worth? Yet why did she even care if he thought her worthy? Cat crouched down beside her patient and prepared for a long, angry afternoon.

Adam returned briefly about an hour later. Cat watched him as he gathered the men and lectured them on the evils of drink and using one another's utensils. Cat was irked that she wasn't included in the discussion. Adam didn't call her over and all but ignored her when he came to check on Will.

"How is he, Hoss."

"I'd say Cat's done a real good job on him, brother. He's still breathin'." Cat smiled when Hoss stuck up for her.

"I'm going up to the house. Joe said he saw Henderson from the mining company riding up. I've got to go make sure he's not going to push any harder on those timber contracts. You're in charge."

"All right."

Adam strode off again, and much to her disgust, Cat watched his estheticly pleasing rear view until it topped the rise.

"Polite isn't he," Cat snapped.

"This is good for him. You should see him in the wintertime. He's like a grizzly bear who can't hibernate."

"I don't ever want to see that!"

But as Cat sat through the long night by Will's side, and eventually dozed, she couldn't help but dream about what it would be like to sit by the fire in winter, listening to Adam read Shakespeare in his rich deep voice. She also wondered why he was so ornery all the time. Didn't he ever take time off to relax and enjoy the ranch he'd helped to build?

Cat woke and checked on her patient shortly before dawn. The most dangerous time for a critically ill person, she watched Will's shallow breathing, grateful that he was still alive. Then, suddenly she was startled by a deep, strangled cry of "No".

She rose stiffly and looked around to see who'd yelled out. Everyone seemed to be asleep. The cattle closest to the camp bellowed nervously and threatened to flee. They were so easy to spook at night. Cat shed her blanket and walked slowly toward the fire.

"Anyone need help?" she asked in a soothing tone so as not to unsettle the cattle further.

"I'm fine, De'Maine. Get back to your patient." Adam spoke from her left.

"That was you?" She took a step closer and noted his dark shape lying by a boulder.

"I said, get back to Will."

"I was concerned, that's all."

"Well, don't be. I'm capable of taking care of myself unlike some." She circled around, pacing in front of the fire trying to calm the anger simmering inside her. She took a deep breath and answered as calmly as she could.

"You don't have to be so God-damned rude to me every time I speak!" Cat snapped.

"I "

"You're the boss, yes. I know!"

"No, I was going to . . . apologize."

Cat's eyebrows shot up. Did she hear him right? "Did you say what I think you said?"

"Yeah," he growled. Cat raised her brows and straightened her stance. She'd achieved a small victory.

"Thank you." Cat stepped back figuring his gruff apology was all she was going to get out of him. Surprisingly, she was wrong.

"You cuss a lot for a woman."

"I never used to." She hovered near the fire, enjoying the warmth. "My father would tan my hide if he heard me." She stopped abruptly and bit her lip. He'd done it again; got her thinking about her family. Again, he didn't ask her about it.

"Good job yesterday, De'Maine. You helped save Will's life."

That must have been near impossible for him to say! She waited for a choking sound and almost laughed, her sad thought forgotten. "Nothing to it. I thought the hardest task I performed yesterday was to untangle our chaps without eating crud. Which reminds me, I've got some more stitching to do." She turned and hurried away.

The recollection produced the first real smile Adam had allowed to touch his lips in a long, long time. Fortunately for him, it was swallowed by the friendly darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

Sunday afternoon was blessedly peaceful on the Ponderosa. Cat watched Sport as he pranced around his corral. She admired the way the horse moved and still wondered at Adam's choice of mount. Even after a solid week working cattle, Sport cantered, bucked and rolled as if he'd been stabled for a month, unlike Rebel and Bobby and who stood together dozing under a tree.

Cat wandered back to the bunkhouse. Her first week of work was finally over. She'd survived. Being Sunday, most of the men were still in town from the night before. She hadn't seen much activity around the main house either. She took a long look at the large, impressive log house as she passed it. She opened the heavy wooden door, which led into the large bunkhouse. Will lay quietly on the cot closest to the door.

"Quiet out," she said as she sat on a chair beside him and proceeded to check his bandages. He'd survived three days since the goring. She still wasn't sure he'd pull through. The wounds still looked very angry.

"Sunday's always quiet around here," he wheezed. "Why ain't you in town with the rest?"

"Why? I don't drink whiskey, and I'm not too good at poker. And I'm afraid saloon girls don't hold much attraction for me." Will snorted with laughter.

"They got a few nice stores, and a might pretty church."

"Church. Hmm, It's been a long time since I attended one of those." Cat frowned and redressed his wounds one at a time.

"Adam don't think much of church either."

Cat narrowed her eyes. Why did Will have to bring **him** up? "I never said I didn't like it, just that I hadn't been to one lately. Why compare me to him! I'm nothing like him."

"Yeah, right. Like you pair ain't like two peas in a pod."

Cat visibly sneered this time. True, she and Adam hadn't argued as much since Will's accident. In fact, they'd seemed to form and uneasy, silent truce. That didn't mean she liked him any better as a person, or that he couldn't wait to be rid of her. She resented the protection he'd forced on her in the form of Hoss, who tagged after her most hours of the day and night. He was like the pet dog she'd dreamed of owning as a young girl.

"I don't see any similarities! For example, he's been gone since yesterday lunchtime after that blazing row with his father. I thought they were going to swing some fists. He's probably running around town with some floozy or getting drunk at the local saloon."

"So, you noticed he'd gone?" Will's weathered face crinkled into a smug smile.

"No! I didn't . . .well I did, but not because I was checking . . .I mean-"

"-You'd better quit while you're ahead, little lady."

"Here!" Cat, flushed with embarrassment, made him take a large spoonful of laudanum.

"That tastes Godawful!" Will grumbled.

"Serves you right!"

"They fight a lot, that pair," he continued.

"Well, in my opinion, Adam should learn his place. His

father owns and runs this ranch, not him. I don't understand how he can be so disrespectful."

"You wouldn't understand. You didn't see this place a few years back," Will answered. His eyelids drooped.

"What's that got to do with it?"

"Was a time that boy **was** in charge, in every sense of the word. That was after Mr Cartwright lost his last wife Little Joe's mother." Will's eyes slowly closed. Cat wanted to shake him awake and hear more. What was the history of the Cartwright family?

"Get some sleep," she said unnecessarily." Will nodded weakly. "I'm going to take a walk down to the lake."

"Fine." Will mumbled.

Cat went to her bunk, which was at the end of the long line of wooden beds, and retrieved a battered copy of Les Trois Mousquetaires from her saddlebag. By the time she walked past Will and out the door, he was snoring loudly.

Cat breathed in the clean, spring air and headed off toward the lake. She thought about Will's comment. Adam used to be in charge when the last Mrs Cartwright died. Had Ben fallen apart from grief? Had Adam assumed the role of the head of the family during that time? That would explain why Hoss and Joe treated him more like a father than a brother? She thought about that while she relaxed by the lake and as she tried to sleep that night.

She was still thinking about him long after she'd risen the next morning, dressed and started her work of mucking stables in the chilly blanket of dawn.

The quiet was broken soon after by raised voices coming from the direction of the main house. She recognized the deep baritones of the two eldest Cartwright men. She had a feeling Adam would be out soon, wanting his horse. She walked over to Sport's stall, led him out and fetched his tack.

The voices stopped several minutes later. Cat turned and watched cautiously as the latch on the ranch house door clicked open. The sharp sound carried through the thick fog of morning.

Adam exited the house, dressed in his usual dark work clothes with the addition of a long, heavy coat. Cat's breath caught unexpectedly as he strode commandingly toward the barn and her. Nerves, that was all. He put her on edge. The weather was almost as cold as the frosty glance he threw her as he passed her by.

"Morning, boss," she said just to spite his rude manners.

"Hmmm," he grunted.

"Sport's saddled. I thought you might be riding out early."

"Why?"

Cat arched a brow. Surely he didn't think the pre-dawn argument he'd had with his father was unable to be heard from a good distance away.

"Lucky guess." With an iron pitchfork, she scraped the last of the soiled hay from a stall and waited for his sarcastic retort. Silence prevailed for several minutes. Cat listened as he checked his rifle, packed his saddlebags and tightened Sport's cinch.

"We're going up to the Sierras. Saddle up."

"What?" Cat placed the pitchfork down and stared at him through the poor lantern light.

"Strays on the mountain." He pulled the buckles tight on his saddlebags. "The weather's turning. They need to come down."

"I thought all the cattle were down."

"Hoss spotted them yesterday afternoon. Looks like we missed some." He stopped packing and turned to face her. "There's about three dozen head up there."

"But "

"Are you questioning my orders?"

Cat looked at his tense, edgy expression. Surely he didn't mean he wanted her to go with him up the mountain? She'd planned on avoiding him as much as possible. She had Hoss as a watchdog. She didn't need another.

"No, but I'm not the best person to go up there with you. I don't know the terrain."

"I'm sure an expert cow hand like you will handle it just fine.

"But "

"I'm ordering you to get saddled up to ride with me. I'll show you the trails."

Cat looked him at him warily. She'd almost swear he seemed to want her to fight with him. Yes, that was it. He'd argued with his father and now he figured on continuing with her. Making out it was all her fault.

Well, she was made of stronger stuff. Nothing would irritate him more than if she became perfectly agreeable. She gathered her wits and lifted her chin with pride.

"Sure, I'll be right with you, **boss**. Come to think about it, I'd love to go up the mountain with you. Can't think of anything I'd rather do today." She smiled sweetly, turned and marched off to get Rebel from the second barn.

She'd agreed. Now why did that surprise him: almost anger him? She wasn't so fiery she didn't know when to cut her losses. But, damn it, he'd wanted her to argue. Isn't that why he'd suggested she accompany him?

No. He needed assistance moving the last of the stubborn beeves from the mountain; that was all. The fact that Cat would be more than uncomfortable in his company and especially in the bitter cold didn't have a thing to do with it. Well, not much.

The fact that Ben wouldn't allow him to build his grist mill had angered him. It was a good idea. He wondered what Cat would think of it.

"Ready."

Cat, with Rebel at her shoulder and saddled, appeared at the barn doorway. Adam looked her over and was startled by his thoughts. Was there another woman in the whole country who could look so at home around horses? Or look so appealing in men's riding clothes? He frowned.

"You're going to need a heavier coat than that," he said.

"I'm fine. This one's wool." She stood up straight and square, challenging him with those intriguing green eyes of hers.

"Don't say I didn't warn you. It's cold up there."

"I'm tough, and I love to going riding on a cold morning." He could almost here the 'so, there!' at the end of her prissy statement. He hadn't considered that it could be her only coat.

Adam watched her longer than he intended to, as she turned around, gathered the reins and stepped smoothly into her stirrup. He watched her long leg as it gracefully rounded the stallion's rump and her body as it settled into place.

She smiled unexpectedly and patted the big Spanish horse when he pranced beneath her, eager to be underway. Lit by the lantern's glow, frosty clouds of breath swirled from her mouth and the horse's nostrils, bathing both in a dreamy silver fog.

Adam loved to go riding in the mornings. He often found himself bracing against an icy wind, stretching Sport to a full gallop, racing against the sunrise. He'd never imagined wanting to share that experience with anyone. But, suddenly, at that moment, he wondered what it would be like to have Cat by his side: galloping neck and neck, trying to beat him, wanting to race against the sun's appearance with him. Adam's blood pumped a little faster.

Dadburnit! He turned and jerked the reins past Sport's ear with frustration at his thoughts. The horse protested with the sudden movement and threw his head up in alarm.

"One day he's going to knock you out, and I'm going to have to stitch you up."

He mounted, less smoothly than normal and glared at her for good measure. Was she teasing him now? Her mouth wasn't upturned, but her head was cocked to the side and her hand rested cheekily on her hip.

"That'll be the day. This horse hasn't got the better of me yet." He moved Sport out into the yard and the horse immediately moved alongside Rebel. It was annoying how their horses liked each other.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said crisply as they started their working day.

Cat was still stuck in the saddle several hours later. She faced down the terrible icy wind bravely, and pushed her wool scarf further over her nose, so the only part of her face exposed from beneath her lowered Stetson, was the narrow slit of her eyes.

It was those stormy emerald pools that bore into the back of the infuriatingly stubborn man riding in front of her. This was his doing! Dragging her out into the freezing cold to round up strays was all part of Adam Cartwright's plan to see her quit.

All morning the frowning Adam had led her on a merry chase, looking for cattle that weren't there. He wanted to see her crumple - give in! He wanted to have her fight him. Well, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. He was taking out his bad mood on her.

She'd survived just fine so far. His little obedience test was a failure. She'd continue to prove she could handle anything he was prepared to throw at her. Cat was going to survive this disgusting cold snap, even if it killed her. And it just might, she thought gloomily, as she shivered and pulled her coat tighter.

Rebel pulled moodily at his bit. The big grey was sick of being in the bleak cold. He wanted to make his way back to the warm barn. Cat controlled him as best she could, which only resulted in both horse and rider progressing sideways instead of straight ahead. Cat might have thought it comical, had she not been in such a temper!

"Keep up," Adam called in a superior tone.

"I'm right behind you!" she snapped icily.

"There's a blind draw a mile or two from here. The cattle must have moved there for shelter. There's nowhere else they could be."

"Fine!" He'd get his comeuppance sooner or later. Cat felt it. She just had to wait it out.

Adam kept Sport inching along. He knew the weather was getting worse, but he figured they could make it to the southern boundary and out with the cattle they needed to round up before any real storm penned them in.

Late in the year for snow, it was an even bet that the looming clouds would eventually break up without dumping their threatening load. In the meantime, he'd taunt Cat just a bit more. He was rather enjoying himself. His mood continued to improve. He pulled his collar up and blew warm breath against his face. A while later, he lifted an amused brow as he heard her voice call from behind.

"Excuse me, **boss**?"

"Yeah?" He half turned and looked at the bundled up body on the protesting gelding. Had he not known it was Cat, he would never have guessed.

"Just how far are we going? I mean, there looks to me to be a storm brewing."

Her words were breathy, caused by gulping in the cold air to talk. Adam felt childishly satisfied by her discomfort.

"Not much further now. The draw is up ahead. There's plenty of time to gather the strays and get them back down the mountain before the weather closes in." He tilted his head in a superior way and clicked to his long-suffering horse to keep going.

He knew why he found such satisfaction in antagonizing her. She'd done nothing but upset his routine since she'd arrived. She'd done as good a job as any of the men, perhaps better. Yet, he still didn't approve of women doing a man's job. That thought made him stick with his convictions.

Cat might not have any choice in the way she earned a living at the moment, but she could have if she believed in her ability in other areas and chose a different job. She'd done an excellent job on Will. Perhaps she could be a nurse.

Adam sighed as he pressed ahead toward the draw. The sooner she was out of his life, the better. What he couldn't figure was why she occupied so many of his thoughts. Why had he tortured himself by spending the entire day with her?

She'd almost killed him with the coffee she'd made earlier. She was no cook; that's for sure. He glanced at her again just in time to catch the angry, green glint from her eyes. She was a challenge. He moved on and began to whistle.

Cat, angrier and colder by the minute, felt like jumping off Rebel and slapping him. Why did he like to provoke her so? Was he still trying to prove her incompetent after she'd successfully completed the bulk of the branding and saved Will's life? If this was his way of pushing her into a battle of wills, he was going to get his wish. She'd never back down from a fight! He was a shallow, pig of a man without one redeeming quality!

Then, she remembered that day at the muddy river. He'd changed, briefly, almost letting her think he was warming to her. His light mood hadn't lasted.

Suddenly, Adam stopped his horse and held him still. Cat watched him carefully, immediately on edge. He was listening, watching. A shiver moved through her body, but not from the cold. Something was wrong. Adam held his hand up and gestured for her to remain where she was. What had he heard, or not heard?

Rebel's ears pricked and he shifted restlessly. She heard cattle lowing. They'd obviously found the strays. But Adam was worried about something else. What could it be? Cat watched him remove his saddle gun from its scabbard. She mimicked him. If there were trouble afoot, she'd be ready to back her boss up, even if she didn't like him. A cow hand backed their brand with whatever was required of them. If that meant gun play, then so be it.

Adam listened for a repeat of the sound he'd heard a few moments before. Yes, there it was again. Faint, but definitely another horse somewhere ahead of them. What worried him was that there were never wild horses up here this time of year. The only thing in front of them was the blind draw where he knew the cattle were gathered. It was also a perfect hideout for renegade Indians, outlaws or rustlers.

He'd been surprised when Hoss told him he'd seen cattle lingering on the mountain. He should have deduced that rustlers might have stolen a small herd and were hiding out while they changed brands. Upon the icy wind, he smelled faint traces of burning flesh. The familiar scent reinforced his fears. Whoever they were, they were branding cattle.

He heard another noise. This time, it sounded like human footsteps. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He had a bad feeling, and he was rarely wrong when it came to such things. He hoped Cat had sense enough to pick up on his signals. Could she even shoot? She carried a gun, but that didn't mean she could use it. Why hadn't he brought one of the men with him? This could end up being a turkey shoot, with him having to protect not only himself but Cat as well.

He slowly dismounted and tied Sport to a nearby tree branch. He turned to try and relate to Cat to get back and take cover. He was surprised to see she was sheltered against concealing rock, had had her rifle drawn and ready.

"You fool, get back further and stay out of sight. You could be killed."

"So could you. I'm not useless, I can shoot," she answered with controlled anger.

"I'm not willing to argue that point right now. Get back!"

"Fine." She moved back barely a fraction. Adam huffed in anger, but he had to turn his attention to the suspected thieves. He'd have to hope Cat had sense enough to stay put.

He moved toward the draw as stealthily as he could. He turned and saw that Cat followed him about twenty feet behind. The foolish woman! He scowled at her; an expression she took no apparent notice of.

He reached the bend in the rock and slowly looked around. The cattle were huddled up the far end. They churned nervously. He scanned the rocks and the shallow cave-like furrows in the rock. Movement. He squinted and watched carefully. A person darted around one of the boulders. He saw the glint of a gun barrel in the stranger's hand.

Rustlers, they had to be! He saw a fire with iron branding rods propped up along side it. He moved back out of sight and glanced at Cat. He couldn't face rustlers with just a woman for backup. He had to get her out of here and to safety. He started to retreat when the sound of rifle shot exploded into the cold air. Pieces of rock shattered above where he stood.

Adam flattened himself against the rock wall. He was trapped. If he tried to move back to a safer location, he'd be a sitting duck.

A second later, a succession of shots blasted from where Cat stood. Her covering fire allowed him to retreat. Adam took the opportunity and fell back to Cat's position, sheltered by both distance and thick foliage. When she stopped shooting, they were sprayed with a barrage of bullets, and both went to ground to minimize the odds of getting hit by a ricochet.

Cat's ability and courage shocked Adam, but that didn't mean either of them would come out of this alive. Did she really understand what they were up against? Cat quickly reloaded and he watched for gun spark so he could figure out from where the rustlers were shooting. He didn't have to.

"There's three that I can make out," said Cat. "Two are behind the pine tree cover forward and slightly to the right. The other one's above us on top of the rock face to your left. Watch." She took her rifle and aimed carefully. Her shot sent pieces of rock flying from the edge of a bolder high above them. A second later, a figure moved from behind the rock and blasted a shot in retaliation.

"I see him. You fire two shots. He might think we're both reloading and poke his nose out again. I'll be ready for him. "

"Got it."

Adam glanced at Cat with growing admiration. She knew exactly what was needed. She aimed at the boulder again and fired twice. The gunman appeared and Adam took a shot. They heard a yelp of pain and watched as the rifle dropped from his hand and landed uselessly onto the ground below. The man ran back from the edge, holding his arm.

"Look, the ones on the ground are moving forward."

Adam flicked his gaze back to the bushes ahead. The two men hidden there darted from behind the thick bushes and toward a shallow cave entrance. Cat and Adam hunkered low to the ground, firing when they got a clear shot. The two rustlers returned fire, but their shots sprayed wildly.

Adam kept a cool head as they ran momentarily into a clear space. He squeezed off his trigger and downed one of the men. Cat shot with him. He saw the second man clutch his leg, wounded. They stopped firing and watched as the two men scrambled to safety.

"Throw down your weapons," Adam called. "If you do, we'll make sure you get to a doctor. Otherwise, you'll die where you are."

"We're throwin' them down. Don't shoot!"

Cat moved. Adam put a firm hand on her arm.

"Careful, they might be bluffing." She obeyed him and lay low. "Stay here. I'll move up and take a better look."

"Okay. I'll cover you."

Adam felt strangely secure with that statement. He moved cautiously, smoothly like a cougar stalking its prey. He knew Cat kept her rifle firmly trained on the figures lying in the grass.

Cat's fingers gripped her rifle so hard her knuckles began to turn white. She watched as Adam approached the injured men. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck. The tension crackled in the air around her. She'd never killed a man before. Were they dead? Was Adam still in danger? She kept her sights on the two figures.

Suddenly, the man to Adam's right rolled. Cat saw the glint of metal in his hand. From somewhere, he'd produced another gun! Without thinking twice, she squeezed off a round. But she was too late. He managed to fire his weapon at Adam a fraction of a second before her bullet got him. To her horror, Cat saw Adam's body twist to the left and land heavily in the grass.

In a blind panic, she ran for the group, her handgun out of her holster; the hammer cocked ready to fire. He couldn't be dead! Her heart pounded with fresh, unexpected fear.

"Get down!" She didn't register Adam's voice: her dread of the outcome all consuming.

Cat slid to a stop beside Adam's body, then gasped as he turned over swiftly, kicked her legs out from under her and fired above her head, just as another bullet shot from behind whizzed around her ears. Cat hit the ground heavily; sharp pain exploded through her skull.

"I'm shot," she mumbled to herself, as her eyes closed.

"Cat!" Adam's deep, alarmed voice was the last sound she heard.


	7. Chapter 7

Adam saw the rustler move in the grass and hit the deck a fraction before the bullet aimed at his chest whizzed past. Instead of a fatal blow, he only felt a sharp stinging sensation near his elbow.

Before the rustler could shoot again, he witnessed Cat's return fire slam into the gut of his attacker. The man fell to the ground heavily, nerves twitching in a final, gruesome dance. Adam looked behind him. Cat, her rifle still smoking, left the safety of her cover and raced toward him. At the same moment he noticed movement far above. The man he'd injured earlier reappeared above the draw. He had another rifle; it was aimed at Cat.

There was no time to call a warning. As she reached Adam, he rolled over, clamped his legs around her ankles and dropped her like a sack of grain to get her out of the line of fire. In the same moment, a bullet hurtled through the air and her hat flew off.

No time to think, Adam cocked his rifle, aimed and fired over Cat's head as she fell. He took a second to make sure he'd struck his target. The man toppled from the cliff, smacking the ground with a sickening thud.

Adam turned his attention back to Cat. Was she hit? She'd landed hard. He scrambled up and to her side.

"Cat," he said, his voice tense. A terrible, unexpected shiver of fear ran along his spine. He crouched at her side and gently pressed his fingers to her skull, expecting the worst; a bullet wound. Not finding one, he turned her. Her eyes were closed and a bright red swelling had begun to form on her temple. A rock lay on the ground beneath her. She couldn't be dead, could she?

"Cat? Cat!" Adam patted her cheeks and smoothed wayward auburn strands of hair away from her face.

"W . . .what?"

Adam's heart thumped faster with the sound of her voice. She was alive. He started to think more clearly.

"Am I shot? My head hurts," she grumbled groggily. She lifted a hand to her temple and winced.

"I think you hit it on this rock when you fell," Adam said in a more relaxed tone.

"Fell? You . . . tripped me!"

Adam felt the edges of his mouth tug. He looked down at her angry, reddened, dusty face and grinned.

"I had a good reason."

"Like what?" Cat went to sit up and swayed unsteadily.

"You had a rifle trained at your head." He picked up her dislodged hat and fingered a jagged tear in the brim, displaying her narrow escape. His brief smile disappeared before she saw it. His frown returned. "You were foolish to run out into the open like that!"

"I . . .I thought you were shot."

"No such luck. Just grazed my arm." He presented his forearm and the trickle of blood running down it. "You stay put. I'm going to make sure there's no more rustlers."

"I'm perfectly all right."

She turned to him and glared defiantly. Adam's breathing calmed. It sure seemed she was okay; the bump on her head the only thing he could find wrong with her. She was still as cantankerous as ever.

"Stay put! That's an order. I'm going to check the surrounds."

Cat watched him as he got up and checked the two bodies lying close to their left. Even after the serious gun play, he seemed cool and in control. She admired that kind of courage. Cat wished she could match him, but she couldn't squash the nucleus of fear in the pit of her stomach, nor the wild notion that she'd like to be held just for a moment until the shock of taking a life passed her by.

Cat gingerly touched her temple and winced. She felt strange, as if she'd passed through a mysterious door to another consciousness. She'd only lost her thoughts for a moment, but when she'd heard Adam's voice call to her she'd felt calmer.

Of course, getting your boss killed because you were too slow on the trigger wasn't the most settling of feelings. She was just relived he wasn't dead because of her. Yet, when he'd patted her cheek, the touch of his gentle fingers had awakened her as if a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown in her face.

Cat wasn't used to physical contact any more. She could barely remember the last time she'd received a hug. A day almost five long years ago when she'd been preparing for a family Christmas day that would never happen. Cat's temple thumped and she pushed the dark memory to the back of her mind where it usually stayed. Instead she thought about what she'd just done. Had the men she and Adam killed deserved their fates?

When Adam walked further away to examine the body at the bottom of the cliff, she got up unsteadily and checked the evidence for herself. A fading fire held branding irons sporting a symbol that could easily change the Ponderosa brand to something unrecognizable. The calves in this group were not yet branded, making them the easiest of targets. Most of the cattle were still huddled up one end of the draw, unable to escape from the frightening noises at the entrance of the thin canyon. To one side were three saddle horses and a mule tied to a string line. This confirmed the number of rustlers in the immediate area.

Cat approached the beeves slowly and checked the new and old brands, evidence that the men she'd taken a hand in killing were thieves, a crime punishable by death. She heard someone approaching and spun around, still on edge. Her dizziness returned and she swayed, still wobbly on her feet. Two large, firm hands grabbed her securely around the waist.

"Whoa there," said Adam in a low, steady tone. "Didn't I tell you to stay put?"

"I wanted to check the brands," Cat replied. She felt the warmth from his hands through her thin wool coat.

"There's no doubt they were rustling cattle," he replied, as if he guessed her concern.

"I can see that." She tipped her chin up slightly and looked at him. His face was closer than she wanted. A frown adorned his handsome features. In a silly thought, obviously brought on by her dizziness, she almost felt like running her fingers over his mouth and tugging it into a smile. "Did you know any of them?" she asked instead.

"One. I fired him earlier this spring. Last I heard, he went to work at the Morning Glory."

"What's that?" Cat wanted to move away, but he still held her firmly. Fortunately, she wasn't pressed against his chest. That would've been too disturbing for words.

"It's a gold mine owned by our dubious neighbors, the Trewin's. We've been keeping an eye on them, although not a close enough one by the look of it."

"Why do you say they're dubious?"

"Talk had them linked with several crimes Texas way a while back. They've been quiet here, but we're watching them just the same."

"What if it's just talk? What if you're falsely accusing them?"

"I'm not accusing them of anything." Adam cocked his head slightly to the side. "Yet that sort of talk usually has some truth to it."

She didn't agree with his comment, but remained silent. She didn't want to bring up her old ugly demons, especially with Adam Cartwright.

Looking at him, she still wondered how he could be so calm after a killing. An icy wind rushed down into the draw from above, blowing their clothes, tempting her to get a little closer to the warmth his body offered, but she stayed stubbornly rooted to the spot.

"It's getting late," Adam said in an unexpectedly clipped tone. "Can you ride?"

"Of course!"

"We'll leave the bodies here. There's no time to make a travois. They won't decay in this weather anyway. I'll ride into town in the morning and get the sheriff out here."

Cat went to move away from him but was held in place by the strange tingling sensation. "Thank you for saving my life," she said. The words came out more breathy than she intended, but he didn't seem to notice. To save her the trouble, he jerked his hands away from her and returned in a gruff voice.

"We're even. Let's get going. This wind is coming up and I've got to get you back in one piece."

"I'm okay. How's your arm?"

"I'll live," he snarled as he looked at the snake of blood on his arm and shrugged.

Cat walked after him, her nausea fading. She didn't want to think about how good his hands felt around her waist. Strong, safe and very tender in spite of his prickly demeanor. Homesick and lonely: that's all she was. That's why she'd had this strange reaction to his hold, no other reason.

Adam walked briskly toward the entrance of the draw. Cat was the most infuriatingly stubborn female he'd ever had the misfortune to tangle with. He'd wanted to wring her neck when he realized she'd disobeyed him again and gone over to inspect the cattle. Sometimes she had no more sense than Little Joe!

Then, when she'd swayed unsteadily, he'd grabbed hold to stop her from falling. Even though he'd held her close twice before, the mud must have fogged his memory of it. This time, the curved softness of her waist made his throat run dry.

She confused him; made him crazy. Why would she affect him like that? He didn't find her the least bit attractive. Except for her eyes. Their deep green depths could be very alluring. Her long dark hair too, looked as if it could be very fetching, if only it was allowed to escape the braid and flow freely about her shoulders.

Fool!

Adam, angry at his thoughts, whistled up his horse. Sport was nowhere in sight. Rebel appeared, however, adding to his annoyance.

"Looks like Sport high-tailed it out of here," he heard her say in that disturbingly husky tone.

"He's probably just down the trail a bit."

"Uh huh. Do you want to go fetch one of the rustler's horses?"

He turned around; angry that she assumed his horse wasn't well trained enough to stay put and not run home. "No, I told you, he'll be a bit further down."

"Okay. If you say so."

She raised her brow cheekily, but he didn't miss the brief wince of pain cross her face as she did it. All the anger flew out of him and was replaced by an uneasy tenderness.

"Besides, I don't think you can sit a horse by yourself."

"I told you, I'm fine."

He bristled at her argument. "You stand there and wait with your horse. I'll collect the rifles then help you up."

Cat called Rebel over and confidently took the reins. She slipped her foot into the stirrup and swung herself up. White light suddenly streaked across her eyes. She felt her body sway and her limbs grow heavy and listless. Cat put her head down and clutched Rebel's mane in an effort to stay seated.

"You're just a stubborn little fool, aren't you?"

She felt his breath against her neck and for a moment wanted to turn to him and grab him around his wide shoulders to steady her possible fall.

"I just need a minute."

"What you need is a keeper. I told you to wait for me."

"I'm "

"No, you're **not** all right. Shove forward."

Cat moved forward weakly. She couldn't believe a little bump on the head had affected her so much. Was he going to lead her out? How humiliating!

Worse! She felt him mount up behind her. His big body settled behind the saddle. She felt herself being tugged upright.

"What are you doing?" she squeaked with panic.

"Getting you down this trail in one piece. By the time I find Sport, you should be right to ride on your own."

"I told you " Cat almost stopped breathing. Adam wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her hard against him.

"Stop arguing, woman. Just be quiet."

Cat closed her eyes and tried to control her racing blood. Her skin quivered.

"You're cold," he stated gruffly.

"Don't hold me so tight!"

"If I don't, you'll fall off."

"I haven't fallen from a horse since I was ten!" Slight exaggeration, but she wanted to save face.

"You wouldn't want to start now then, would you? Lean into me more."

His hot breath feathered the skin on her neck. Cat was bewildered by her body's reaction to him. It must be her head injury. She struggled with him for a moment until the pain in her temple became too much to bear. She gave in and leaned back finding the hard surface of his shoulder and chest.

"That's it, put your head back. Try to rest your eyes."

How could a man's voice instill such trust, such security in her? People were used to relying on him. It was easy to see why. He made you feel safe and protected. But Cat didn't need someone like that. She could protect herself.

She took a peek at him beneath half closed eyes. From this angle, she was dangerously close to his neck and cheek. He smelled of leather, sweat, horse and bay rum. Intermingled amongst that was a unique aroma all his own. It was a scent that worked its way through her, and made her drowsy with unexpected contentment.

The rocking of her big horse beneath them made the swaying contact of their bodies something like a slow dance. Her eyes closed again, this time coaxed by a mixture of exhaustion and serenity.

Did anyone protect him in return? Unable to assimilate her thoughts any longer, she gave into his safe hold and fell asleep in his arms.

Adam sighed raggedly as he heard her breathing slow and deepen. Why had he got up on this horse with her? Obviously, he wasn't thinking all that clearly. Yet, she seemed to need him. She was hurting more than she admitted to. By her falling asleep in his arms, he knew he was right. She'd never do that if she weren't badly hurt.

He tried not to think about how good she felt. His arms held her in place against his chest. The rubbing of their bodies caused a friction that lit a fire deep in the pit of his belly. How long since he'd held a woman so close? A long time, he admitted.

But on those occasions, other women hadn't made him feel like this. Had they? Even the two women he'd cared deeply for and wanted to marry hadn't aroused him quite so acutely. He frowned at the thought. He hadn't thought of Ruth or Michelle in a long while. He turned his thoughts away from those dark times.

A tall, opinionated woman with a taste for danger and folly wasn't his kind at all. Yet, as he reined the Spanish grey to the left, his arm brushed against Cat's ribcage. Her body squirmed restlessly. He felt the curve of a bound breast hidden beneath her shapeless layers. His muscles tightened with reaction, making him uncomfortable: Rebel's broad rump suddenly the last place he wanted to be.

He hadn't realised how thin her coat was either. He'd overheard her telling one of the men that she was from Tucson. It could still get cold down there but not usually in late spring. She'd not prepared properly for the high sierras.

Her hand shifted. She rolled against him; a soft moan escaped her lips. One hand reached up and slid beneath his buttoned coat. He felt it rest against his flannel shirt. He almost wished she'd wriggle her fingers inside. He lost all interest in looking for his horse. All he could do was stare down at Cat's sleeping features, wondering how she'd look in a fancy ball gown, or in a skimpy chemise. She no longer seemed so undesirable.

Rebel sniffed the air and whinnied. Adam reluctantly looked up after hearing a reply from Sport. The flighty chestnut trotted up to them and snuffled his pocket, allowing Adam to capture his rein. He didn't want to disturb Cat, but at the rate they were moving, they'd never make it back to the ranch before dark. By the feel of the air, it would go close to freezing during the night. He moved his mouth alongside her cheek.

"Cat, wake up." He jiggled her arm softly. "Cat."

The beautiful dream faded. She'd been riding Rebel at dawn across an open field filled with sweet scented flowers. She wasn't alone. She gasped and sat up in a rush. She put a hand to her temple and moaned with the sudden pain.

"Whoa, steady."

"Adam?" She turned pale, realizing where she was. He was still behind her on Rebel, holding her.

"You fell asleep. I found Sport. How's the head?"

He sounded very dutiful. Why did that disappoint her?

"Better. It'll be okay after a good night's sleep." She didn't add she had one hell of a headache.

"Hop Sing has a herbal poultice that will be good for that lump."

"Whatever," she mumbled, just wishing he'd remove himself from her presence. Her wish came true as he dismounted. A cold chill hit her back, no longer protected by the wall of his body. She shivered, wanting him back.

"We'll walk for a while, then see if you can pick up the pace."

"Don't worry about me, I'll make it."

But before they left, Adam took his heavy coat off and swung it up over her shoulders. If she'd felt well Cat would have protested, but the warmth it held felt too delicious to refuse it. She put her arms through the sleeves and pulled it on.

All the way back to the ranch, Cat had to concentrate on staying upright. When they did extend to a canter, she gritted her teeth and stood in the stirrups to minimize the movement. The biting cold ripped through her clothing, making it doubly uncomfortable. She would have frozen without his coat. By the time they reached the ranch, Cat felt ready to collapse. But she wasn't prepared to give Adam Cartwright the satisfaction of seeing her weakened and unable to take care of herself.

"Here, climb down."

She looked beside her. Adam had dismounted and walked to Rebel's side. He held his arms up, offering his help. She was about to tell him she didn't need any assistance, when she thought better of it. She wasn't at all sure she could dismount without falling on her face.

She wearily lifted her leg and slid down Rebel's shoulder. There they were again, those large, strong hands, encasing her waist. He didn't swing her against him; he just assisted her decent. She felt her feet touch the ground and his guiding arm as she leaned falteringly.

"You go lay down. I'll get the poultice."

Cat, too tired to argue, trudged off to the bunkhouse. Being supper time, it was empty. The last thing she wanted was food. She needed sleep, nothing more.

Adam didn't want to alarm his family with tales of the rustlers, not right away. He'd wait until after supper. He wanted to report the incident to Roy Coffee and get the neighboring ranch thoroughly checked out. If the rustlers were working independently, there was no need to worry anyone, as they were taken care of. If the Trewin family had anything to do with it, then Roy would handle it.

His most immediate job was to take care of Cat. He went into the house by the back entrance, collected the small jar of medicine kept in the outdoor laundry area, some bandages and went back to the bunkhouse. By the time he arrived, Cat was fast asleep on her bunk.

One oil lantern burned, providing the bare minimum of light. He shook out his bandanna and soaked a corner with the pungent medicine. He dabbed the material softly onto the swollen area on her forehead. She twitched slightly, but didn't stir. There was a real change of concussion, something Hoss experienced once after a bad fall from a bronc. Adam had read articles about it after having it explained by Doc Martin.

When done, he pulled the blanket over her still fully clothed body and quietly left the bunkhouse. He was concerned, but no more than he'd be about any one of his workers. There was no explaining the tightness in his throat and the anxiety in his mind that stayed with him all through the night until the next morning; where he saw for himself that she was up and around, and as ornery as usual.


	8. Chapter 8

"I need you to accompany me to town," said Adam.

"But I'm needed at the herd."

"You're my witness for yesterday's events."

"I'm sure they'll believe the word of a Cartwright

without having it validated. I don't see why you need me."

Adam sighed. He barely held onto his temper. She needed a few good, sharp slaps on the backside to pull her into line.

Or a thorough kiss.

What? Where had that thought come from? Adam crossed his arms, and glared at her stubborn expression.

"You're coming because I say so."

"What kind of reason is that?" Her green eyes sparkled and her brows lifted in a challenge he was keen to meet.

"It's an excellent one, because I'm your boss."

"Actually, you're not. Your father is, remember?"

"And you shall accompany Adam to town to get that swelling on your head seen to."

Adam half turned and looked at his father. Ben stood to Adam's left and slightly behind him. He crossed his arms and reinforced his son's orders. Adam felt smug. He and his father didn't **always** fight. When he'd told Pa about Cat's injury, he agreed that Doc Martin should check it.

It wasn't fair! The two of them stood there like an impenetrable wall. She'd counted Mr Cartwright as being on her side, but when it came right down to it, he was almost as bad as Adam was.

"I think the doctor should take a look at that bump," Ben reiterated.

"I'm fine," she said without conviction. There was no use fighting both of them. She trudged off to ready Rebel. Another day in **his** company! Her dream job was turning into a nightmare.

This was his plan then, to make her spend every moment with him until she buckled under the pressure and went quietly insane. Well, she may go insane, but no way was she going to go quietly. She'd be kicking and screaming to the end.

Cat hated being sick, or injured. Her head pounded as they rode the dusty trail into town. At least the warmer weather was back. Her thoughts drifted to the men they'd shot the day before. Who were they? Had they truly been guilty? Should she and Adam have taken the law into their own hands by cutting them down?

That wasn't really true. The rustlers had fired first. Adam defended his property and her. In return, she'd done the same for him. She just wished they'd been able to capture the men instead of killing them.

It took just over an hour to ride to town on a makeshift road cleared years before by the Cartwright family. Cat stared at Adam's back for much of that time. He was a righteous type of person. Was he the type of crusader to lead the way in ridding the territory of outlaws, even if they were just suspects? Or would he just give the facts and make sure only those at fault would be blamed?

Cat lived by the law, but she hated the kind who went a step further and accused innocent people without good reason. She'd witnessed first hand what could happen to good people wrongly accused. Would Adam accuse the Trewins of being involved in the rustling without further investigation? She wanted to know. Needed to.

She also wished she remembered more about the ride back to the ranch yesterday. Amazingly, she'd fallen asleep against him easily and quickly. She recalled his pure, manly scent, and his hard yet comforting wall of muscle. She let her gaze wander to his back. It swayed gently above the saddle with the movement of his horse beneath. The muscles pulled and stretched the scarlet linen of his shirt in a variety of ways. Cat forgot her righteous thoughts and became almost mesmerized by the movement of muscle.

She didn't find him attractive. No way! She just appreciated his masculine bulk as any girl might. At least she didn't swoon and simper around like the girls she'd known in her hometown. One look at a real man like Adam and they went all stupid and light-headed. Cat had never understood them. Perhaps that's why she'd never fit in; never became a 'lady'.

"Remember, I want you to see the doctor after we're finished at the sheriff's office. You're no good to me sick."

Cat's mind flicked back to normal thoughts as Adam's deep tone reached her. She thought of protesting again, but she decided against it. She wanted to observe, rather than overshadow. She wanted to see how he explained the shoot-out. Besides, her head still ached.

"Okay."

Adam looked back with a distinctively thoughtful frown. Different from his angry frown, or just his frown frown, she mused. How could one man have so many different varieties of frowns? No doubt he was puzzled by her co-operation. He didn't comment, but spent the rest of the trip in silence.

Exasperating woman. Why didn't she argue? She was up to something. Perhaps she wouldn't back his story about the rustlers. Why wouldn't she? She needed the job on the Ponderosa. He knew she did. Why else would she put up with him and his orders so easily?

Or, maybe she still hurt, he thought guiltily. He slowed Sport a fraction and waited for Rebel to come alongside him. Cat seemed distracted, almost in a daydream. He looked across at her. Her head was angled away from him and slightly toward the ground. Her Stetson hid her face from the bright morning sun.

"Cat, you all right?"

She turned her head slowly, stiffly. The brim of her hat tipped up and revealed her face. Adam couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath to his body. The sunlight lit her eyes and made them sparkle like jewels. A rich, serene green, the pupils small with strong light, her eyes compelled him to stare.

"I'm fine," she finally offered.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to fall off your horse," Adam replied in a slightly strained voice. She turned away from him again, allowing him to let out the breath he'd not realized he held. What was wrong with him? Too many weeks without a woman, that's all. He fully intended to ask one of the ladies in town to the summer harvest dance being held in three weeks time. That should curb his strange, distracting thoughts, for the moment anyway.

They reached town a few minutes later. Cat certainly had spirit, he thought as he watched her dismount without showing any discomfort. She kept her head held high, and walked with him like any of the men would.

Adam also noticed, as he tipped his hat to the many ladies and gentlemen they passed, how they stared past him to her. Most of their expressions were either ones of disapproval or surprise. Some took a second look from behind, to see if she really was a woman. Adam at first found it amusing, but then became annoyed by it. Nobody deserved to be stared at like that.

Cat, however, didn't seem to notice them at all. Had she been putting up with this all her life? How could she stand it? He turned to her, wanting to ask, yet how could he? Was this why she never came into town on her day off?

Cat didn't like towns. Never had. Townsfolk had always treated her like a freak. And in Tucson in recent years they'd treated her like dirt. She'd learned long ago to ignore them. She knew in her heart that she was as good a person as they were. That's all she needed to know. She could do without any of them.

"Here we are."

She followed Adam onto the wooden board walk in front of a sturdy building on Main Street. It had the word 'Sheriff' emblazoned in crooked black lettering above the door. She wondered if the occupant was also crooked. She followed Adam into the darkened office, skeptical of the type of lawman she might find.

"Well, well. Adam! Fancy seeing you in town during round up."

Cat observed the elderly sheriff as he jumped up to shake Adam's hand.

"Unexpected visit."

"And who might this be?"

The sheriff looked at her with puzzlement.

"This is Cat De'Maine, one of my ranch hands. Cat, Sheriff Roy Coffee."

"Sheriff," Cat said, surprised that he offered to shake her hand also.

"De'Maine, you from around here?"

"No." She bristled at his instant suspicion.

"Hmm, could a swore I'd heard the name before."

"It's quite common in the south," she added hastily, instantly on edge that he might know more.

"Yeah, I expect so. French, huh?"

"Yes." Why didn't he get on with it? She hated being quizzed.

"So you'd be from Louisiana way?"

"My family was originally, yes."

"You don't sound like you're from there."

"I was brought up in Arizona."

"Unusual. A female ranch hand."

"I was brought up on a ranch like the Ponderosa. Not

much choice."

Cat felt Adam's eyes on her. This was as much information as she'd given since she'd arrived. No doubt this insight interested him. The Sheriff held her gaze a bit longer, digested the information, and then finally turned back to Adam.

Cat listened quietly while Adam told the sheriff the story of the rustlers. To his credit, he stuck to the facts. He didn't embellish the tale or make accusations. Adam moved up a notch in Cat's estimation.

When Adam was done, the sheriff turned to her. "And do you agree with Adam's account of the facts, young lady?"

"Yes," she said solidly. "He's told it just as it happened."

"You're a brave young woman to be shooting at rustlers like that. Where did you learn to shoot so well?"

"I'm a cow hand, sir. I need to be able to shoot well. Just 'cause I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't aim straight."

The sheriff turned back to Adam. "You mentioned one of the men went to work for the Trewins. You think they're involved?"

"I don't know. He could have been acting alone."

"I think I'll still go out there and ask a few questions."

"You want me to go along with you?"

"No. No use stirring up a hornet's nest if we don't have to. I'll take a couple of men with me to the draw and retrieve the bodies. Then we'll swing by the Trewin place. You go about your business. I'll get a statement together that you can sign next time you're in town."

"Fine. Thanks, Roy." Adam stood and Cat followed his lead.

"Nice to meet you, young lady."

Cat nodded to him and headed for the door, waiting for Adam to say his goodbye. She believed that Roy Coffee would find the truth in the matter and act accordingly.

"He seems like a decent man," she said when Adam joined her.

"He is. Used to be a Texas Ranger many years ago. He'll get to the bottom of it."

"As long as he finds the truth."

"You're not still thinking we were wrong about those men, are you? We weren't wrong."

Cat glanced at Adam. "No, I don't think that. I just don't want anyone falsely accused."

"That won't happen, I'll see to it."

Adam's promise made her feel much better. Whatever she thought of him, she knew she could trust his word. She was learning that he was a man of honor. He'd been more than fair with his account. She liked that. In recent years she'd found most people to be less than honest in their dealings with the law. Adam and his family, however, seemed most trustworthy. She felt good as they made their way to the Doctor's house.

"Miss Keith, nice to see you."

Cat halted just in time to avoid ploughing into Adam's solid back. He'd stopped to greet a lady in the street.

"Mr Cartwright, how delightful to see you."

Cat stepped out of Adam's shadow and glanced at the woman. She was stunning and petite, dressed in expensive blue velvet from head to toe. Pale wisps of wheat colored hair framed her bright blue eyes. Delicate gloved hands clutched a parasol that shielded her milky white complexion.

Cat hated her instantly.

"And you, Miss Virginia."

Cat glanced at Adam and noted that he'd removed his hat in a chivalrous gesture.

"What luck running into you," purred the pampered female.

Cat observed how the woman batted her eyelids, spoke breathlessly, and generally tried to maneuver him so he had the best view of her, er, shapely assets. Surely Adam wouldn't be fooled by a woman's feminine tricks. He didn't seem the sort to be trapped by them.

"Mr Cartwright, I've had an idea to raise money for the church, so I'd like your opinion on holding a fund raiser."

"That sounds very interesting, and I'd like to discuss that with you, Miss Keith, but I'm in town on business today. Perhaps we can talk about it at the box social come Saturday."

Ha! She knew he wouldn't be fooled. Take that, Miss widow spider. Wait . . .dance? He was taking her to a dance?

"Oh." The sweet bow mouth pouted ever so slightly. Cat glanced away and rolled her eyes.

"I might have a few minutes to spare," she heard him say, much to Cat's disgust. Adam wasn't immune to feminine tricks after all.

Cat cleared her throat, suddenly impatient with the delay, and ever so slightly annoyed about his dance comment, although why, she couldn't imagine. The woman's eyes slid to hers and immediately showed their true icy depths.

"And what do we have here, Mr Cartwright?"

Cat angered at the 'what'.

"Oh, er, Miss Virginia Keith, I'd like you to meet Miss Cat De'Maine."

Cat smiled stiffly. "How do you do, Miss Keith."

"How curious."

Cat watched the blue eyes skim her like they were studying a filthy piece of laundry. She towered above the tiny socialite, but still felt about two feet tall.

"Cat works on the ranch."

"Goodness, Adam. Wherever did you find **her**? She's an odd one, and so tall. I hardly realized she was female dressed like that."

Cat snapped. "And I didn't realize you were a lady with that sharp tongue "

" We'd better be running along," Adam finished.

He glared at Cat, but she gave him an equally angered stare in return. Didn't the man know a witch when he saw one?

"My goodness, I think you'd better get a leash for her, Mr Cartwright."

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you, Miss Keith," Cat butted in. "I'd be worrying about getting that delicate complexion of yours out of the sun before you dry up like a shriveled old lady. Those expensive creams don't feign youth forever you know," Cat snapped.

"Oh!"

Cat watched, smirking, as Virginia's blue eyes opened wide in shock, then narrowed her eyelids in annoyance at Adam.

"Well, I never. Mr Cartwright. I'm not sure I like the company you keep. I might have to reconsider that acceptance to the dance."

"Apologize to Miss Keith, Cat."

"I don't see any reason to." Cat put her hands on her hips and scowled.

Virginia Keith didn't wait for either of them to apologize.

"Hmmm!"

With that, the elegant and flustered Miss Keith flounced off, her hips swinging ever so slightly in the process. Cat knew she was a better person than the shallow Miss Keith was. Even so, she couldn't help but be a little jealous of her feminine walk.

"Thanks a lot," Adam said flatly; a new frown freshly added to his face.

"She was very rude."

"And you weren't? Now I have to go smooth things over."

"How could you take someone like her to a dance anyway?"

"Why not? And what business is it of yours?" He crossed his arms and returned her scowl.

Cat hesitated for a moment. Why wouldn't he? "For one thing, you'd lose her. She's way too short for you."

Adam opened his mouth to object when her argument sunk in. Was that an almost attempt at a smile pull at the corner of his mouth? Too quick to tell. He frowned again.

"Did I ask for your opinion on who I should take to the dance?"

"No, but I'm giving it anyway." Cat tipped her nose up and crossed her arms suddenly hoping he wouldn't ask any of the other stuck up girls in town to the dance either.

"Why does that not surprise me?" He turned on his heel and strode after the retreating Miss Keith. "Women," he mumbled under his breath.

Cat trailed behind, feeling strangely deflated. She had to watch from a distance as Adam made peace with Miss Keith and got her to agree to accompany him to the dance that coming Saturday.

Later, after the local doctor had given Cat a clean bill of health, and once they were riding back to the ranch, Cat felt like gnawing away at the subject of shallow socialites a little more.

"That Miss Keith, I suppose she has all the men in town on a string."

"She's a beautiful woman who takes care of herself. Nothing wrong with that," was his non-committal answer.

Unlike me. Cat colored at her conclusion from his comment. What did she care what he thought of her? She pleased herself, not any man. She'd tell him so, too.

"Frankly, I don't understand men. All you see in a girl like her is a pretty face, trim figure and how good she'll look on your arm. You don't have a thought for how 'real' she is. If she has an intelligent thought in her head, or if she even understands life as you do."

"What's so bad about wanting a beautiful lady to escort?" asked Adam as he pulled Sport to a halt. "Besides, she is intelligent. She studies poetry, the arts and does a lot of social work."

"Ah, all very admirable pursuits," returned Cat. "But don't you see through her mask? Don't you see her cunning ruse to hook and beguile you? I've often wondered if men possess any brains on the matter of a lady's beauty."

Adam glared at her, squeezed his knees to Sport's sides and continued on. "You act almost if you are jealous of the fair Miss Keith."

Cat looked after him and couldn't stop the hot, unexpected blush from crossing her face. "Jealous, you must be mad!"

"Oh, I don't know."

Cat thought the look on his face now resembled that of a satisfied smirk.

"You seemed pretty eager to drive her away."

"Me? She called me odd, treated me like mud stuck to her shoe. It's just like you to defend someone like that."

"And not you?"

She felt Adam's curious eyes on her.

"I don't need defending, in case you haven't noticed." Cat needed to turn this around. She hadn't started the conversation with any ulterior motive in mind. She wasn't jealous. It was absurd. "I just think you've got blinders on. Woman like that don't have a sincere bone in their body."

"Does this mean you care what happens to me once the fair Miss Keith lures me into her web?"

"Heck no." Cat lowered her head, hoping the hot blush she felt wasn't visible. "I just thought I'd warn you."

"I think I can take care of myself."

That killed the conversation for a good while. Cat felt like kicking herself. She didn't care about him!

"Are you going to the dance?" he asked sometime later. Cat almost choked at the thought.

"No, of course not."

"Why of course not?" Adam looked over, one brow raised.

"I . . .I'm not fond of dancing."

"Really? I'd have thought you'd be a fine dancer."

He was teasing her now, leaning back, hand resting on Sport's rump, looking as if he were sitting in a rocking chair, hazel eyes gleaming with something akin to mischief. Cat refused to back down.

"I'm a very fine dancer, actually. I just don't care for it." Cat cultured her tone a fraction. Frustrating, that's what he was.

"Why not?"

"I happen to enjoy pursuits of the mind more than frivolous, useless dancing."

"Memorizing all those steps can be good for the mind. It's also good exercise."

"I get enough of that out here," she said, trying to come up with a good reason why she didn't dance. Saying she was liable to trip over her big boots and fall flat on her face was not an option.

"I think you'd look good in a ball gown."

Cat swiveled her head and stared at him in shock. Was he flirting with her, or trying to get his head knocked off?

"Yes sir, I think you'd turn every head in the place."

"Stop being facetious, Mr Cartwright."

"I'm being most sincere, Miss De'Maine. Those green eyes of yours, they'd beguile every man there. Except of course, me," he hastened to add.

Cat narrowed her lids and lifted a lip in scorn. "You? Why would I even consider wanting to beguile you?"

"Because I'm safe. You know I don't like you and I won't come within half a mile of you. I wouldn't fall for any possible charms. Unlike others."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why do you hide on ranches, in men's clothes, in a man's job? I think it's because you're afraid of being a woman."

"That's a helluva thing to say!"

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"I'm more woman than you'll ever meet. If I don't care to let pig-headed, self-opinionated men near me, then that's my choice. I don't have to explain myself to you, or any man!"

"Then go to the dance with me and prove it."

What did he say? Was that some kind of flippant invitation? Cat's heart rate increased. She felt hot and clammy. Of course, she had to put him in his place right away, because she knew he didn't mean a word of it.

"No! I don't have to do anything I don't want to." She held her head up high, trying to outdo his smugness. "That's the difference between me and those women in town. I know I can survive without a man around. I don't have to primp and preen and try to lure one into some sort of trap. I can make my own way, live my own life and take care of myself." She touched her heels to Rebel's side and went ahead.

"Pity."

"What did you say?" She turned her head, wondering if she'd heard him right.

"I said, pretty view."

"Oh." Cat stopped on the approaching ridge and looked over Lake Tahoe.

"What about companionship?"

She sighed, not wishing to continue the conversation. "I have my horse," she snapped.

"Ah, and a very fine animal he is, too. I hope you'll be very happy together."

"Happier than you and that "

"Don't you say it!" growled Adam.

Cat wanted to insult Miss Keith one more time, but thought better of it. Adam's apparent amusement seemed to be festering into anger. It was his bad luck if he was too stupid to see the truth. It wasn't her problem. She kicked Rebel and rode down the slope, needing to clear her head.

Adam stared after her, thinking about her speech. Maddening how she viewed her future. She saw herself as being alone her whole life, never letting another person in to share it with her. And what of her family? She had to have one.

Adam had learned that Cat possessed more confidence than many men did when it came to real danger and work. Yet, she seemed scared of a simple dance, of being a woman, of having fun. It would be interesting to try and find out why. Not to mention a challenge to get her all dressed up, just to prove his theory of course! Right now, that formidable task seemed much more appealing than escorting the charming, yet eager Miss Keith.

Cat's assessment of the lady was irritatingly accurate. Adam knew what Virginia wanted from him and why. He'd fallen into that sweet trap before. Battle weary when it came to women, he had no intentions of letting it happen again, but it was fun making Cat believe he might.

Not that he'd get to work on her. It was time to make his way to the pine covered slopes. Adam sighed, reluctantly turned his thoughts from Cat, and glanced toward the mountains. Covered in giant Ponderosa pines, the biggest challenge of the summer, and of his life, commenced in the morning. The job of fulfilling a contract supplying timber for the Pacific Coast Railroad, with tight deadlines, lay before him like a sleeping giant. He'd worked hard on the deal to get this far, and cutting began the very next day. His mind should be on that, not on feisty women and dances and ball gowns.

But he couldn't help it. Cat's sermon on the evils of women made him curious. He watched her as they neared the herd. He could understand her anger. Virginia hadn't treated her well at all. Yet, why would Cat be concerned about who he took to the dance?

And he was right; she'd look striking in a gown. Something green, the same color as her eyes. Imagining that kept him occupied until they stopped on the rise above the herd. Adam pulled his mount alongside hers. Strangely, he didn't feel like leaving. He sighed.

"This is where I split off. Be sure and remind Hoss to send men to herd those rustled cattle down."

"What? Aren't you coming along?"

He looked at her wide, emerald eyes and almost forgot what he meant to say. "No, I'm heading to the western section of the ranch, to the logging site. We've got a big lumber contract for the railroad starting tomorrow. I'll be working there for several weeks."

"Oh."

She paused for a moment, probably out of relief. "Who's taking charge of the herd?" Of course, she'd be

pleased to be rid of him. He'd made her life hell until now.

"Hoss until Will's well enough to go back to work."

"Fine."

Adam felt strangely flat. He wanted to tease her some more. "Going to miss me, De'Maine?"

Cat screwed up her nose and looked him squarely in the face. "Hardly. My prayers have finally been answered."

Yes, she'd wanted rid of him, and why not?

Adam tipped his hat through habit and steered the prancing Sport toward the western hills. He felt something suspiciously like disappointment seep through his veins, which was totally uncalled for.

He'd never liked Cat, never agreed to have her here. He didn't have to put up with her any more, day in and day out. Didn't have to argue, watch her defy him, worry about her safety or what she looked like in a ball gown.

He was free of her.

He couldn't wait for Sunday when he'd be down off the mountain and could see her again.


	9. Chapter 9

Cat made it back to the chuck wagon in time to pick at the meager luncheon remains. She felt rather like a vulture that'd missed the best carcass. Not that she felt hungry. Cat's heart was doing something strange; something she didn't expect. It seemed to be sinking inside her chest, and bouncing against her stomach making her feel ill and depressed. The knock on the head must be to blame.

Adam's leaving should make her the happiest girl alive. She felt like jumping for joy, didn't she? Finally rid of his disapproving glare and cutting comments, she should feel good.

Her dream job was back. So why did she feel so flat?

After nibbling on some beef jerky and cheese that stuck in her throat, she did as Adam asked and reminded Hoss about the rustled cattle. He'd already sent three men to fetch them.

"Adam told me you were hurt." Hoss squinted at her head.

"I'm fine," she said for the hundredth time.

"Yep, he said you'd say that too. I'm puttin' you on light duties for a few days."

Cat grimaced but knew she wouldn't get anywhere. Hoss followed Adam's orders to the letter. And she was done arguing.

"Sounds mighty brave what you did up there. Adam was full of phrase for how you handled yourself."

"He was?" This piqued her interest.

"Yes'm. He said he ain't never seen a gal shoot like that before."

Cat felt a little bit of pride creep inside her. "I am a good shot, it's true. He just never asked me."

"Where did you learn to shoot like that, anyhow?"

"My Pa taught me. I grew up on a ranch too."

"Yeah, but I know gals that live on ranches and they don't ever even go outside hardly. 'Sept to go to town."

Cat wrinkled her nose. She didn't want to talk about her past any more. Hoss was easy to talk to. He could quickly lead her into a conversation she didn't want to have.

"I guess I'm just not like other girls," she said and walked to the back of the wagon.

"Adam said that too," Hoss chuckled and followed along.  
He's gone to the logging camp, then?" asked Hoss as she poured a mug of coffee.

"Yes. I didn't know about the timber work until now."

"It's a big deal. He's been working on getting that contract the way he wanted it all winter. That's one of the reasons he and Pa haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. He says Adam's making the job too difficult."

"Why?"

"Adam doesn't want to strip the whole mountainside. He wants to take selected trees off three mountains, making the job much harder."

"Why does he want to do it that way?" Cat, immediately interested in Adam's theory, sat on the edge of the chuck wagon waiting for Hoss's explanation.

"He's worked out this plan, so he says. Seems to think that the trees are needed to hold the soil together and keep the mountain intact. He says taking only every third tree or so will be much better for the land. Pa preferred to strip one mountain then replant but Adam doesn't think that's enough. He said the saplings won't take quick enough."

"Adam's theory sounds very sensible."

"Trouble is, it's costing a lot more to do it this way. Much harder to complete the job too."

"Yet in the long run, it will preserve the land better and assure future income."

"That's what Adam thinks."

"I agree with him." Cat looked thoughtfully toward the west. "I've worked mostly in desert country. When rains come through, the land opens up like a big deep scar. There's nothing to hold the ground together, or trap the water. Therefore, it just runs off and is lost, or causes bad flooding. I think he's right about the trees."

"Pa agrees that you have to replant, but he thinks the new trees will do the same job."

"But their roots will not be as extensive. I think Adam's correct in his thinking. Maybe I should tell Mr Cartwright what I think."

"Sure, if you think it will help. It's not good when they fight. Upsets everyone. And those two can have some humdingers."

Cat sipped the strong, bitter coffee. "Seems to me Adam likes to bite off more than he can chew. I suppose he thinks he can handle it."

"He doesn't think it, he knows it." Hoss smiled wistfully. "But he wouldn't be Adam if he didn't. I cain't remember a day go by that he didn't try and take charge and finish every plan he ever set in place. Sometimes he has to fight tooth and nail to get Pa's approval."

"Tell me something, Hoss."

"What?"

Cat's mouth went dry, but she had to know. "Does he ever smile?" She watched Hoss tilt his head to the side, rest his hand thoughtfully on his chin and slide his eyes heavenward.

"Not much, not since . . ." He stopped abruptly.

"Since what?"

"Not what, who," he mumbled. Hoss kicked at a cow pat and went to walk away.

"Wait, Hoss!" Cat trotted after him, filled with questions. "Since who?"

"He wouldn't like me talkin' about it."

"What?" Cat needed to know. It had to be about a woman. Perhaps he'd been jilted. Her mind waited, just like a sea sponge, wanting to soak up information on the elusive Adam Cartwright. Though for what, she had no idea.

"Ask me another time. We got things to do."

Hoss didn't budge. The Cartwright's stubbornness ran in the family after all. But Cat had plenty of time to work on him. She'd find out Adam's secrets, every one, in time.

Working the cattle became routine for several weeks. With the branding completed, the crew maintained fences, watched and rotated the herds and completed general ranch repairs. Some of the hands hired for the spring round up were laid off, but Cat secured a job for the entire season that made her more than happy.

During the remainder of the month, Cat settled into a nice routine with the small, efficient crew of cattlemen. She got on very well with Hoss, and the two of them became firm friends. Little Joe spent more time at home on his studies although Cat overheard that he'd been allowed to work some days at the logging camp fetching and carrying.

Will was back out at work but taking it easy. There was a big, shy fellow called Hank and a couple of other good natured men. They all treated her with respect, and Cat had the feeling Hoss had chosen the remainder of the crew with her safety in mind.

Hoss was easy going and nothing at all like Adam in personality. Where Adam could be unapproachable and cold, Hoss was as friendly a fellow as she'd ever met. She should be pleased she worked with him instead of his brother. Yet on many occasions, she found herself on edge, waiting to see if Adam would show up to check on them. It had nothing to do with wanting to see him. Things were so peaceful without him around.

Hoss, satisfied with the week's work, looked out over Lake Tahoe. Just on dusk, they'd settled the last portion of the herd at the far end of the lake. From tomorrow, the crew would operate mainly out of the bunkhouse. This would be their last full night on the range for a while.

He turned and glanced westward, surprised to see his big brother riding toward him. He hadn't seen Adam since he'd gone to the logging camp, four weeks prior. The plan had been to have Sunday's off, but with the extra workload, Adam had doggedly stayed at the site, working every daylight hour.

"Hey, howdy stranger! What you doin' down here? Loggin' finished already?" Hoss was glad to see he was in one piece. It was plain hard work felling trees.

Adam sighed as he approached. "Nah, just needed to get away for a few hours." Adam dismounted more stiffly than usual and walked toward Hoss to shake his hand. It was just on twilight.

"In other words, you've been arguin' with Pa," Hoss said cautiously.

"No, actually I haven't," Adam replied.

Hoss was surprised. "Why would you come visit me for then?"

"Maybe I just got homesick for your ugly face," Adam teased and Hoss tormented him back.

"Yeah, or maybe you just got homesick for these stinky old cows." They both chuckled and crouched down by the fire.

Hoss glanced at his brother, wondering at the true intention of his visit. "How's Joe doin' up there?"

"Better than I thought, but it's hard work. Especially getting the teams in amongst land that's not totally cleared."

"Is Pa still trying to convince you to clear it all in the smaller area?"

"No, he's come 'round a lot. I think he can see the potential benefits of selective logging now. Although he's still annoyed at the extra work load I've created."

"If I know you, brother, I'll bet you're doing the lion's share of that anyhow."

Adam shrugged, then slowly rolled his shoulders as if the simple movement caused pain.

"But that's great he likes your idea now!" Hoss continued. "I wonder what changed his mind?"

"Or who," Adam remarked quietly, glancing casually around the camp.

Hoss looked hard at Adam. He'd lost weight. There wasn't an inch of fat on his body. His arms were scratched and scared and his hands were a mess of cuts and calluses. Adam always did more than his share, but logging was tough work. They had a team of two dozen men to assist, but Hoss still worried that Adam might be doing too much. Before the logging started, he'd try to talk Adam into letting him come up to the mountain too, but Adam insisted he stay with the cattle.

"You make sure you don't run yourself into the ground now. You get too tired up there, you get careless. Remember old man Johnson severed his leg because of exhaustion."

"I'm aware of that. That's why I'm here now, taking a break." Adam sighed and leaned back against a saddle. "Thought I'd go to town tomorrow night."

"Another dance? Going to take Virginia Keith, huh?"

"Maybe."

"I heard she wasn't too pleased with you, leaving her without a partner at the last do."

"I might just have to rectify that then," Adam drawled as he continued to glance around.

During the next half an hour, the men came and went, working on last minute chores. They all greeted Adam with a friendly 'howdy' as they saw him. Hoss noticed that Adam continued to glance around the gathering with curious eyes.

"Lookin' for someone?"

Adam's head flicked down, as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "No. Just wondered if Slick had his guitar out here, that's all."

"Yep, he has, but he's down at the river with Cat."

"They still working? You should have called quittin' time before now." Adam frowned, making Hoss chuckle. Everyone else's comfort concerned him except his own.

"They're not working. Cat's bathing."

"Oh." Adam looked startled for a moment. "Then why's Slick with her?"

Was that a flicker of jealousy Hoss detected in Adam's expression? "For protection. I don't let her go down there to wash alone. Your orders, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. But I told you to watch over her." Adam busily took a sip of coffee.

"Slick's real fond of her. He won't let anything happen to her. Thinks of her as his long lost sister."

Hoss watched Adam intently. His older brother was excellent at hiding his true feelings, but he swore he detected uneasiness about him. Hoss slowly began to smile. Maybe Adam hadn't come to visit **him** after all.

"I thought I'd play something on the guitar after supper, that's all," Adam said with an icy calm that didn't match the fire in his eyes.

"That'd be fine, brother." Hoss intended to watch him very carefully once Cat returned to camp. It seemed incredulous that Adam would have any feelings of affection toward Cat, given their previous arguments, but who knew how hearts worked? Hoss sure didn't.

They sat around talking, but Hoss could see Adam's mind wasn't on his conversation. He got up, stretched, paced around and sat again, repeating the routine several times, rather like a caged lion.

Finally, after half an hour, Slick appeared with Cat. They were chatting and laughing. Hoss watched Adam try to ignore her. He did a good job, and to everyone but his younger brother, Adam succeeded in feigning indifference. Hoss's smile spread.

Cat walked back to her saddlebags and packed away her toiletries. She felt safe on the Ponderosa now and was grateful that she could bathe privately. She'd washed her unruly, dark hair and with the heat of the summer evening, it dried quickly. Free from the thick braid for once, it's natural wave curled down her back almost to her waist.

She used a special creamy French soap she ordered once a year, her only personal luxury, which did a good job in restoring her hair after a day of mud, heat and cattle. She retrieved her whalebone hairbrush and went to move over to the fire. Delicious smells wafted from the chuck wagon. Life should be good, but a hollow emptiness had been nagging at her for weeks.

Homesickness. She missed her home, her old life.

Cat refused to acknowledge the other thing she missed: fighting with Adam.

As she turned, she stared straight into **his** eyes! Cat's heart skipped. She almost thought she was seeing things. His dark hair seemed longer and curled nicely at his nape. A couple of strands fell across his forehead, drawing her focus to his attractive deep hazel eyes, then lower.

The frown? It wasn't there. Instead, his firm, full lips drew her attention like a moth to a flame. Cat swallowed, her chest tightened and her skin tingled. She'd forgotten just how handsome he was. Weeks apart from him had obviously broken down her defenses. Time to build them up again.

What was he doing here, ruining her peaceful ambiance and looking her up and down with such disapproving eyes? Or were they? Cat's flesh heated as he continued to scrutinize her. She tipped her chin up and walked toward him.

"Good evening," Adam said as she passed him by.

"Hello," she managed to squeak, her throat dry. His presence made her nervous and set her on edge. She couldn't relax now. What type of fault he would discover and taunt her about tonight? Feeling self conscious, she sat down next to Will and glanced back at Adam. Had a momentary sadness vanished across his features? She looked away, confused.

Adam now knew why he'd gravitated toward the range camp instead of spending a night of comfort in his own bed.

Cat.

He'd wanted to see her again, needed to thank her. His father had made his life hell over the logging contract for months. His firm belief that Adam's ideas were wrong took its toll. But two weeks back Ben relented and started working with him side by side.

Eventually, Adam found out that Cat had helped change his father's mind. At first, Adam laughed at the very notion that she'd sided with him, but Ben confirmed it was true.

Adam knew that without the full co-operation from his father, finishing the job on time would have been impossible. The completion of the daunting task would still prove difficult, but success now lay within his grasp. He owed Cat a debt of thanks. He also owed her an argument or two. He begrudgingly admitted he missed their stimulating spats.

But arguments flew from his mind when he looked at her. Mahogany hair, loose and falling about her shoulders in a riot of fire tinged curls made his blood heat. He'd never seen her hair free before, and he began to wonder what those glorious locks would feel like threaded through his fingers, lying against his cheek.

He remembered holding her close on her horse and feeling the feathery wisps as they fluttered in his face. He wouldn't mind experiencing that all over again. Extreme fatigue had to be the cause of such thoughts.

As she'd passed him by, a soft feminine scent had filled the air. The woman worked with cattle and horses. How could she possibly smell good? Yet she did. Adam sensed his own madness. Thank goodness tomorrow was Saturday. He'd have a chance to sample the wares of a real woman in town and get his mind back into focus. The punishing workload at the timber camp could make any girl look good.

Adam tore his gaze from Cat and settled down by the fire, as far away from her as possible. He still intended to thank her for her efforts on his behalf, but he wasn't quite sure how to approach her on the subject. He'd think on it some more.

Something felt wrong. He looked at her as if she were the devil himself. His eyes seemed to burn into her skin. Cat shivered, not afraid but on edge. She felt like confronting him, demanding to know what was wrong. Had she grown two heads? He was probably still sore over her comments about Virginia; she'd probably foiled his engagement plans. Served him right.

During supper, Cat tried to eat, but very little made it down to her unsettled stomach. He still hadn't spoken to her, not that she wanted him to. He kept his distance.

After the meal, everyone settled down around the large campfire. Mugs of strong coffee laced with whisky were handed out. Cat, who didn't usually touch hard liquor, accepted it when it was offered. She needed something to calm her nerves.

She took her mood to be caused by the usual annoyance she felt for Adam, but it didn't seem like that anymore. He didn't approach her; for that she remained grateful. He continued to sit on the opposite side of the fire, watching her, quietly scheming on how to get rid of her, no doubt. Well, she wasn't going to go, not easily anyway.

The general conversation eventually turned to each man and discussions about their families and where they'd grown up. Cat listened, dreading having to join in. She didn't like talking about her family, or her past. Just thinking about it was painful enough. She listened to the mixture of funny, tragic, happy and adventurous tales told by the men. She felt more and more homesick, more and more miserable and lonely.

Cat unconsciously moved further away from the tight circle until she sat in the shadows. She felt like running into the darkness, being alone. She dared not look up, in case someone called on her to talk. She didn't want to talk. Memories started to crowd her, swamp her and break her down. She kept her head low and tried to shut out the sadness that threatened to overwhelm.

"How about you, Cat? You got any tales? How the heck did you end up doin' this lousy job, anyway?"

Slick's question was innocent enough, but it forced Cat to withdraw almost entirely. The memories churned uncomfortably and with the whiskey fueling her melancholy, she felt the immeasurable pain of loss creep inside her.

She didn't want to breakdown in front of the men. She tried to hold it in, but couldn't speak. Cat looked up and toward Hoss for help. He'd make an excuse for her. She knew he'd be intuitive enough to figure out she didn't wish to talk.

But it wasn't Hoss that came to her rescue. Instead, she heard Adam's deep, smooth voice over the top of all the others.

"Come on boys, Cat doesn't want to tell a bunch of old cowpokes like you about her gay, carefree life as a young girl. Let's have a song instead."

Adam picked up Slick's guitar and diverted the group's attention by singing a fun folk song, which called for everyone to join in on the chorus.

Cat breathed a sigh of relief and out of gratitude, moved into the light and sent him a quick, hesitant smile. He winked in return. Cat felt happier. Even though he didn't like her, he wouldn't shrink from protecting her. He'd never refuse protection to anyone. Cat felt warm again and cheered up immensely.

She eventually joined in the singing. She couldn't stay depressed for long with the men singing ribald ditties and telling jokes that should have made a woman blush. She'd heard them all before. Besides that, the whiskey gave her a touch of bravado.

Adam's singing pleased her the most. He possessed a strong, true voice. She'd heard him before, singing mournful songs to the cattle to keep them calm. She'd admired his talent then, but somehow tonight it seemed so much more special.

Like cow, like girl, she thought and chuckled at her own thoughts. Her dark memories were swept back into a tiny corner of her mind she rarely opened.

"That's it, boys." Much later, Adam stopped playing and placed the guitar down.

"Oh, come on, Adam. Play one more."

"Yeah, Adam."

Cat looked over, noticing for the first time just how weary he looked. Her smile faded as she observed his tired sigh.

"All right, one more. Slick, you play, I'll sing."

Cat watched as he handed the guitar over to Will and gasped with shock. His hands were red raw, almost bleeding. What the hell had he done to himself? Panic bubbled in her throat, but she couldn't make a scene, not when it seemed the other men ignored his injured state.

Logging. It must be the logging, she thought as Adam sang one more song. She studied him as the others sang. His arms were torn and scared. His cheeks seemed thinner than before. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. His body was leaner: he'd lost weight and his hands were torn to shreds. How had she missed noticing this earlier? Should she confront him about it?

The whiskey and hard work of the day eventually overcame the workers. Once the final song finished, the men fell asleep quickly. Cat watched Adam as he lay back gingerly on the hard ground. Why had he subjected himself to a night on the range instead of going home to his nice soft bed?

Cat felt restless. She couldn't sleep and after a while got up and stirred the fire. She glanced across and saw Adam tossing and turning. His hands rested gingerly on his chest.

Cat didn't think, she just got up, put water in the empty coffeepot and returned it to the fire to warm. She then walked to the chuck wagon and rummaged around for a bowl. She eventually found one, then went to her saddlebags for more supplies. Only when she turned to approach him, did her nerves return.

"Come on Cat, he's not that bad. He needs your help," she murmured.

Not only was the ground unforgiving, but the chorus of snores around Adam sounded like an approaching steam train. Why was he here? He'd planned on having a night in his comfortable bed at home. It didn't make any sense, and his hands hurt like hell after playing guitar. Not to mention his back, legs and every other nook and cranny in between. But he'd never admit it: not in a million years. On top of all that, he hadn't done what he'd intended to do: thank Cat. And that sat poorly on his conscience.

She'd seemed so sad tonight. Something had upset her, probably him. He recalled the tentative smile she'd sent him after he'd diverted the men's questions. Why didn't she ever talk about her past?

His mind lingered on her smile, then, trying to forget the pain in his tired bones, he opened his eyes and looked up to the stars. He'd always loved camping out since traveling with his father as a small boy. The years they'd spent crossing the country hadn't been all bad.

On warm nights such as this, he'd slept out beside the wagon and spent many hours staring upward. Adam always wondered about the possibility of men exploring the stars. Perhaps one day way into the future it would become possible.

Tonight though, he just marvelled at their beauty. The Big Dipper was clearly visible, as were several other constellations his father had taught him about when he'd been a boy. As they crossed the prairies, Ben used them to navigate with, as he'd done at sea. He'd passed that knowledge onto his son. Adam, thinking about the stars, went to fold his arms behind his head, forgetting about his hands.

"Damn it!" he hissed as he abruptly sat up and cradled split palms. The guitar playing had opened up some partially healed cuts.

"Are you all right?"

Adam looked up, surprised by Cat's presence beside him. She placed an oil lantern on the ground beside him, crossed her legs and sat like the Indians did.

"What are you doing here? You should be asleep," he growled in a low, menacing tone. He didn't want her to see him in pain.

"I'm doing what you should have done about two weeks ago by the look of these hands. Just hold still now, this won't hurt . . .much."

Adam frowned and looked down as she gripped his wrists, gently yet firmly, and started to examine the split calluses.

"If I wanted doctoring I would have said so." He went to pull away, but she had a good hold.

"Sorry, boss, but I don't think you'd ever ask for help, not even if you were drowning."

Adam produced his best glare, but the expression didn't seem to carry an ounce of weight with its recipient.

Instead, she smiled cautiously. "Thanks for butting in earlier. I didn't feel much like talking."

"Funny, usually I can't stop you." Adam knew he should send her away, but the way her eyes reflected the warm yellow glow from the lantern made him want to keep her right where she was. Besides, he still had to thank her.

"I don't always talk and argue," she continued. "It's just that you bring out the worst in me. Hold still."

She smiled brightly and shoved his hands into a bowl of liquid pain. Adam, unprepared for the shock, only just managed to keep some very colorful profanities at bay.

"Hell, woman. What's in that water?" He took a deep breath and looked down as she took a soft cloth and gently washed his hands.

"A secret recipe. Water, salt, a few Chinese herbs. I found out from Hop Sing what was in the poultice you gave me when I hit my head. I put some in my stores. It should help with these abrasions. I guess with the salt it stings a little."

"A little?" Adam took another deep breath and tried not to wince, well, not so as she'd notice. Instead he closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and tried to think of something pleasant. All that came to mind was Cat's hair. He must be delirious.

"You look tired," she said a few minutes later. Adam shrugged his shoulders.

"I've had a hard day."

"I think you've had a hard month." He opened one eye and watched her as she raised one of his hands up and dried it carefully. She had a surprisingly light touch. Her hands weren't as soft as most lady's he knew, but she used them in a gentle, caring manner that gave the illusion of softness.

"I do what I have to, just like you," he answered.

"I know. Hoss told me what you're trying to achieve with the logging."

"Everyone thought I was mad." He wanted to find out her real feelings, to see if her agreement with his ideas was genuine.

"I think what your doing is right."

"Why?"

She paused for a minute and glanced up. Her face was close, her eyes bright; he could almost feel her warm breath on his cheek. She quickly looked back to her task, and he followed the line of her lashes as they fluttered downward. His heart skipped, then he yelped.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, splinter. I got it."

"Will you distract me next time?"

"I thought I did by talking about the timber."

"Oh, so your agreeing with me is just a ploy to get a splinter out?"

"No." She shook her head. "I've seen what strip mining and clearing too much land at once can do. It's fine for the first couple of years, but after that, it's a disaster. I know your father was going to replant, but without mature trees mixed in, I doubt that would be enough in this heavy winter weather."

While he absorbed the fact that she really did agree with him and seemed to understand the situation, she confused him by producing the biggest smile he'd seen on her to date. Her cheeks dimpled and, just for a moment, Adam wasn't sure which way was up. Then, he cursed again as her needle probed him.

"Got another one!"

"You said you'd distract me."

"I did," she laughed. "I dazzled you with my smile. Didn't it work?" She pouted dramatically. "I bet if Miss what's-her-name smiled you'd be distracted well enough."

Adam was totally bemused. She'd dazzled him too much. He'd almost reached out, touched her, kissed her! Then it struck him. He frowned.

"You had too much whiskey, didn't you?"

"Maybe," she agreed. "Why else would I be stupid enough to try and doctor you, huh?"

Adam didn't know, but suddenly he was glad for her stupidity. The solution started to do its job, and the removal of splinters began to give him some relief. And, as Cat continued to chat, the remaining ones didn't seem to hurt so much when she dug them out with her long stitching needle.

He cleared his throat, suddenly hesitant with what he wanted to say. She sat flush beside him, her bent knee touching his thigh. He could smell the delicious perfume he'd sensed earlier. So tired, he almost felt as if he liked her company, craved it.

"I wanted to say thanks," he said softly.

"For what?" She dried his other hand and tilted her head to the side in surprise.

"For telling my father your thoughts on the logging."

"Oh that. Well, I just told him my opinion. Did it make a difference?"

"Yeah, actually. He's working with me now, not against me."

"Then I'm glad." Cat smiled and dabbed some solution on his muscular forearms.

"I'm surprised you spoke out," he added, watching her intently. She was close, close enough to feel the warmth from her body. He remembered the day they'd doubled on Rebel. He'd like to have her against him one more time.

"We may not see eye to eye on the issue of women ranch hands, but preserving the land is something I believe in."

"Finally something we have in common." Adam wondered at the tinge of relief in his voice.

"Do you have any other splinters, apart from the ones in your personality?" Cat asked raising her brows in a teasing fashion.

Why did Adam feel like letting her find some, up close? He restrained all the sassy answers that leapt to mind and shook his head. "None that are appropriate for you to remove."

"Oh, well. I suppose you're done then." She turned away. Was she blushing? "You should soak in this stuff every couple of days. And check the other men up there. They probably need it too."

"Thanks," he said again.

"And you should wear gloves-"

"Okay Miss bossy."

"Just trying to help." Her smile faded.

"They feel much better." He closed his hands with little difficulty.

"I'm glad." She gathered her medicines, a shadow of sadness settling on her face. He didn't want her to go quite yet. How could he keep her for a few moments longer?

"About before," Adam started. "I could tell you weren't too happy. Nothing the men did, I hope?"

"No." A fleeting smile touched her lips and not her eyes. "I just felt a bit homesick, that's all. I guess the men talking about old times got me thinking."

"You miss your family?" The information he knew about her past was sketchy at best.

"Yes."

Adam kicked himself as he saw a curtain of sadness close about her features.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to "

"-It's all right. I shouldn't let it bother me. It's only natural, right?"

She looked away. Adam wanted to help her, needed to. He could try and cheer her up. He glanced up and knew what to say.

"You know, there's a way you can go home without moving a muscle."

"If only that were true." Her voice was softer, huskier.

"No, there is. Sit with me for a minute longer."

"I should get some sleep. So should you."

She seemed to want to get away. He could understand that. "This is an order," he said as firmly as he dared.

"Oh, all right, what?" She plonked herself down again and waited.

"Look up," he said after a moment. He watched her chin tilt and her eyes gaze heavenward. "Do you recognize anything?"

She stayed still for a minute and then a genuine grin invaded her features.

"It's the Big Dipper, and the cluster of stars my Pa used to call The Bear."

"When I was a boy, my father and I traveled a lot. I didn't have a home, only a wagon. But Pa used to say as long as I could see the same stars every night I **was** home. I hadn't really moved very far at all. He was right. So, you see, you're still home, or at least not as far away as you thought you were."

She smiled and chuckled softly. "You're right, you know." Then she turned back to him. "I thought you lived here your whole life."

"We settled on the Ponderosa when I was nine."

"You didn't have a real home until you were nine?" Her fingers feathered his wrist in a gesture of compassion. Adam's breathing quickened. Cat's unexpected touch intoxicated him far more than the whiskey he'd drunk.

"No, but you don't miss what you don't know." He struggled to keep his mind on their conversation. "At first I didn't like sleeping with a roof over my head all the time. I slept outside a lot."

"It's kind of the opposite for me. I always had a home until . . ." She turned away quickly, as if the memories were creeping back. He wanted to ask her what had happened but it seemed too forward.

"Adam!" She suddenly clutched his arm more firmly and pointed into the sky. Even though she'd just ministered to his injuries, her hand enclosed over his forearm made him tingle with increased warmth. In two minds, he followed the direction her finger pointed.

"What do you see," he managed, wishing she'd move a little closer. This strange exhaustion had him wanting to encircle her in his arms and let her rest back on his chest as she studied the stars. Madness.

"There's one cluster, far to the east that looks like a tear drop. Do you see it?" She turned close to him. He had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her excited face. He finally shifted his gaze back and picked out the group she described.

"Yes, I see it."

He waited for her to say something more. He just wanted her against him, for a moment.

"My Papa used to say my Maman lived amongst that cluster, waiting for me, watching me, looking after me."

Adam remembered Cat telling Roy that her family was French. He called Marie the same too.

"Did she die when you were born?"

"No, but I wasn't very old. I don't remember her."

Adam felt a kindred spirit.

"She **is** watching you," Adam answered gently.

She turned to him, wonder in her face. She seemed to want to reply, but returned her attention to the stars. They both sat in silence for a while, looking upward, thinking private thoughts.

Adam knew Cat was thinking of her home, of her loved ones. "You need to sleep," she said finally, tearing her eyes away from the glittering diamonds above. Slowly, she gathered her wares and stood up. "I enjoyed your singing," she added hesitantly.

"Thanks."

"Good night, Adam."

"Night, Cat." He listened to her footfall on the ground and watched her dark figure move to the other side of the dying fire. She crawled into her bedroll and became still.

Adam turned his eyes heavenward once more. He looked at the tear drop constellation again. He had a feeling Cat wasn't asleep either, that she too was gazing upward, thinking about her mother. He felt good for having cheered her up. He didn't understand his growing attraction toward her, but he did know he felt more content than he had in a long time.

So, he lay down flat, looked up and found one bright star way out to the north. His mother was up there, shining down on him. He did something Cat would have killed to see.

He smiled, broadly.


	10. Chapter 10

Cat couldn't sleep, and this time it wasn't due to homesickness. She stared into the night sky with its diamond dusting of stars and pale crescent moon. New and startling sensations rocked her body. Adam's last look at her had been disturbing, evocative. Why had he looked at her like that; what did it mean?

It raised visions of being held, caressed, kissed. Kissed, how could she crave his lips on hers when she barely knew what it meant? Not the chaste pecks from family but a proper kiss from a man who desired her, cared for her. Suddenly she could think of little else. Delicious fantasies gripped her, warmed her and shook her to her very center.

Cat squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out her outlandish visions. Such thoughts were madness. Why would Adam find **her** appealing? He had every attractive, available woman in town - and probably the whole territory - chasing after him. He had no need of a stubborn, work-worn cowgirl.

Isolation.

He'd been stuck on that mountain for weeks. A man's needs could get in the way of clear thinking. Cat knew all about that. After all, she'd been the target of such misguided affection before. She remembered the distasteful experience when a fellow worker had grabbed her at another ranch. He'd hadn't done much before she'd given him a swift, powerful kick right where it did the most damage, but it proved a man's needs could consume him.

Adam wasn't the kind to let his body rule his mind, but maybe he'd found something attractive in her because of his segregation. Cat sighed sadly, sure of her theory.

For a moment there, she'd almost been willing to let the daydream of Adam's kiss overpower her. She already knew what it felt like to have his strong, solid arms surround her. Infinitely comforting. So, what would his roughened hands feel like against her cheek? What would those full, frowning lips taste like moving against her own? What would it be like to press herself against his body, chest to chest, hip to hip, feel him, explore him? Cat's skin grew hot, and she tossed restlessly on her bedroll.

The fact that they were at odds all the time was a good reason to stop inciting such thoughts about him. They disagreed constantly.

Except tonight. Tonight he'd been tender and caring and stopped the men from asking questions. He'd needed her help, and then he'd indulged her silly story about the stars. She smiled, then wondered. He looked at the stars as if he had loved ones up there too. Perhaps a sweetheart? Somehow, this notion made her sadder.

Cat tossed again. She refused to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts. She remembered Adam telling her she'd look attractive in a ball gown. Goodness, she could barely remember when she'd last worn one. She'd never been one for dressing up and going to dances. She'd always felt like a fish out of water, like a clumsy oaf with two left feet. Memories of girls in her hometown excluding her and talking about her behind her back when Cat attended social functions didn't help.

But now she could suit herself, couldn't she? If she chose to dress up and go to a dance, what was stopping her? Maybe one day, she'd gather the courage to dress up and impress the citizens of Virginia City.

And Adam.

But not because he'd thrown down the challenge, oh no!

"Where's Adam?" Cat asked as she and Hoss built the fire up for breakfast.

"He rode out before dawn. Said he needed to take care of a couple 'a things."

"He hasn't gone back to that lumber camp already, has he?" Cat turned away from Hoss, worried that she sounded more concerned than she ought to.

"No, I don't think so. I think he's got business letters to write. And he mentioned he was going to town tonight, probably to the dance. Perhaps he's gone home to get all dandied up."

"Oh?" This information dismayed her.

"What's the matter with that?" asked Hoss innocently.

"Oh, nothing. I just . . . thought he wouldn't stop working until that job was done."

"Usually, I'd agree. But by the look of him, he needed the rest. I think he's done right to take a break."

Hoss shuffled his feet then added, "His hands looked better this morning."

Cat tossed off the curiosity in his voice with a faint shrug, retrieved a long leather strap and began to braid her hair. The sharp ache in her heart returned. The moment she'd woken up that morning, she'd thought of seeing Adam and talking with him over coffee. She'd wanted to inspect his hands for herself; see if she'd helped any. Silly to be pouting over the fact that he'd left without saying goodbye.

"You going to the dance tonight?" Hoss asked.

"No," she returned flatly.

"Well, suit yourself. I'm going. Adam'll be there too."

Cat's agitation grew. Why did he sound like he knew something he shouldn't? She didn't care a hoot if Adam were at the dance with Miss Prissy or any other woman.

"I hope you both have a nice time," she said briskly. Then, she strode off to ride fence and be comfortably alone.

Cat sat on her bunk and watched the procession of preening men with amusement. They battled for a place in front of the narrow pier glass down one end of the long room. People said women were fussy, but this lot could give them a run for their money.

As usual, she was about the only one not going into town for the Saturday night shindigs. She'd decided that dressing up for a dance just to show up her critics seemed vain and pointless. She'd no doubt be snubbed and laughed at by the sophisticated ladies anyway. Why put herself through that? Besides, she didn't have anything suitable to wear and she wasn't about to spend her precious wages on a useless dress.

"Why aren't you ready?"

She looked at the young, hopeful face of Little Joe as he bounded into the bunkhouse.

"Sorry, Joe, I'm not going in tonight."

"Oh, not again! You promise every week, and you never come. Hoss and me were looking forward to dancing a reel with you."

"Maybe next time." She dismissed him with a shrug. Cat almost laughed as Joe frowned. He didn't look like Adam for the most part, but the frown was pure Cartwright.

"It's because of Adam, isn't it?"

"No, it's not."

"I saw you two arguing this afternoon."

"We weren't arguing, Joe: we were having a political discussion."

"Looked like arguing." Joe crossed his arms.

"Did you see me hit him?"

"Well, no."

"Did you see him try and dump me in the horse trough?"

"No, but "

"Then we weren't arguing. Truth is, I'm tired is all. I've had a hard week." She smiled and feigned a stiff back.

"Well, okay, but you're gonna come one night; I'll make sure of it."

Joe smiled and waved as he went to get his horse. He was so full of life and energy. When he got a bit older he was going to break many hearts.

Cat thought of her 'discussion' with Adam earlier that day and let out a small puzzled sigh. She'd finished work at noon, and she'd ridden back to the ranch feeling strangely exhilarated. She spotted Adam in the yard well before she reached it, and became unusually nervous when he called her over as soon as she rode in.

"Cat, I need to ask you something."

She dismounted and walked her mustang, Bobby, over to the trough near where he stood. Dressed in a nice rust colored shirt and dark trousers he seemed rested, and she even detected a twinkle in his eyes. Cat's blood started to race. God, he looked good enough to eat! Was he in an agreeable mood for once? She glanced down at his hands in an effort to keep her gaze from wandering over his body.

"How are your hands?"

"They feel much better," he added a touch gruffly.

"I'm glad. What did you want to ask me?"

"Well . . ."

He seemed hesitant; like he wanted to say something she wouldn't agree with. Yet, he'd never been in the least worried about her answers before. Maybe . . .just maybe . . . he'd ask her if she wanted to go to the dance with him? Or perhaps if she'd like to go for a ride to the lake? He might want her to discuss books with him? Or was he about to admit that she was the most beguiling woman he'd laid eyes on? Cat waited with baited breath.

"I wanted to know what your opinion was on that new idea of barbed wire fencing."

"Oh." Cat's balloon of hopefulness burst with a decisive pop and left her heart deflated. None of her questions had even entered his head. He wanted to know about barbed wire fencing of all things! Great: fine and dandy!

"Well?" He prompted; tipping his hat back, looking deeply interested like any rancher would about such a serious subject.

"I . . .think it's going to divide the country."

"It's hardly something that will cause a political rift," he started.

"No, I don't mean that." Cat, despondent about his lack of interest in her, kicked the heel of her boot against the ground creating little dust devils that rose and flurried around her legs.

"Then what do you mean?"

He wasn't giving up. Did he really want to know? Was it all fired so important to talk ranching sun up to sun down, seven days a week? Okay, so be it.

"I mean we've never had many fences out here. We've lived by an unspoken agreement to share the land and work it for not just ourselves, but for the common good of everyone. I know we all own land and try and keep poachers off, but that's not what I mean." Cat walked over to the corral fence, climbed up and continued.

"The fencing will divide the land off like never before. You won't be able to drive cattle so easily in years to come. It'll be more affordable and easier to get than wood, it'll make people greedier, more possessive of what's theirs. It might also do some damage to livestock before they figure out they have to avoid it." She stopped and looked to Adam for his reaction.

"You're right, you know." He paced up and down. "I hadn't really considered the long term effects, but I think you're right."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Why the interest?" Cat looked down at his pensive face. Adam possessed many traits: strength, intelligence and ruggedness to name a few. Yet, right now, he seemed, well, kind of nervous.

"No reason."

He looked up. Cat thought he seemed ready to say something personal, but instead he launched off on another general subject. This time, he inquired as to what she thought of the territorial congress. Of course, she told him.

Their discussion grew and got more and more animated as they went along. That's when Little Joe turned up and observed them. But they hadn't been arguing, not at all. Cat couldn't remember when she'd had such a stimulating debate.

Then Joe's distant voice ruined the mood.

"Hey, Adam. If you want the bathhouse, you'd better come now otherwise it's gonna be full until supper time. You don't wanna miss getting all dandied up for your date with Miss Virginia, do ya?"

Cat felt as though a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her. Of course, she was good enough to ask about fencing and politics, but not to be asked to the dance.

"Ah yeah, I'm coming," Adam called. "Sorry, got to go."

"Of course."

Cat watched Adam march off toward the house and sighed. She'd had her fill of Adam Cartwright and this strange feeling that festered inside her, rather like the stomach upsets she suffered after eating her own cooking. It certainly wasn't anything remotely pleasant.

Cat, back in the present, watched the men ride off. Sometimes she wondered what she missed. Just then, the door to the main house opened and Ben and Adam appeared, deep in conversation. She retreated into the bunkhouse and watched them through the window. They were dressed elegantly, in black Sunday suits with fancy gold waistcoats.

Adam looked particularly handsome. His crisp white shirt contrasted sharply with his dark good looks. Cat couldn't help but admire the view and cursed the inexplicable flutters in her stomach. Moving away from the window, she waited until she heard the hooves of their horses grow faint, then went outside to sit for a while.

Will sat by the barn door whittling. Cat spent many a Saturday evening with him. He didn't ask her why she didn't go and have fun in town; they just talked about things that didn't matter, like the weather. Sometimes, they sat and didn't talk at all.

"Safe to come out now, huh?" Will said after Cat arrived.

"Sorry?"

"I said, safe to come out now **he's** gone."

Cat realized he was talking about Adam and clamed up.

"He ain't that bad, you know. Hard to git ta know, but he ain't that bad."

Cat still didn't comment.

"Never bin one ta show he likes ya right off."

Cat inclined her head, trying not to seem interested.

"Had a woman he wanted ta marry up with a couple a years back; didn't work out."

Cat's ears pricked up. She couldn't fake her interest now. She was intensely curious about Adam's past.

"Why?" She leaned back and tried to sound casual.

"He wanted to marry her; loved her he did."

Cat moved restlessly on her chair. For some reason, hearing about Adam's love life made her uneasy. Was she the person in the stars he hinted of?

"And?"

"Turns out she was connin' 'im. Didn't love him at'll. Just wanted his money and name."

Cat's heart sank. In town, she'd practically accused him of not knowing when a woman pursued him for reasons other than love.

"What happened?"

"Well, when he found her out, he was terrible cut up 'bout it but he told her to git out anyways, so she did. Took him a long while to git over it, but he's almost back to his old self. 'Sept he don't cotton to women folk too easy no more. So if'n he gives you a hard time, it ain't necessarily you he's fightin'."

"He seems to like Virginia Keith all right."

"She's an old family friend, but don't be fooled. He won't be burned again."

Will eventually went inside the bunkhouse. Cat thought about the story for a long time. It must be terrible to love someone and have them throw that love back in your face. She felt bad about her previous conduct on the street in Virginia City. No wonder Adam had been so surly when she mentioned Miss Keith's suspected intentions. Surely though, he wouldn't fall for the same type of woman again. Cat sighed; her gloomy mood heightened.

She walked thoughtfully to the main house and entered. A few weeks back, after the logging started, she'd asked Mr Cartwright if she could borrow a book from time to time. She only had one book of her own with her and she'd read that a dozen times. He'd happily allowed her access to the crammed shelves. As the house was empty tonight, she looked forward to choosing one and spending the evening reading.

Adam fumed about his night as he and Sport made slow progress home in the poor light. Virginia had made it known through her actions and icy words that she'd **not** forgiven him for failing to escort her to the last dance. She'd then accused him of being distracted and inattentive.

Well, she'd practically ignored **him** all night also, except when she needed to brag to her friends about her escort. The future Mrs Cartwright, he'd overheard her say. She'd also mentioned how she intended to take over the household and get his 'unruly' family into line.

Adam didn't take kindly to a woman assuming anything about him or his family. He certainly had no intentions of marrying Virginia. He knew for a fact she didn't love him; she only wanted his good name, money and what she thought was the Cartwright's social standing. Well, he'd fallen for that once before with Michelle. He wasn't likely to be fooled again. Many men were happy to marry for such reasons, but he wasn't one of them. If he ever did get married, it would be for mutual love: nothing less.

Something that Cat said on the day that they'd met Virginia in the street rang true. She'd seen through the woman straight away and warned him. His anger started to subside. If only he'd followed through on his intentions this afternoon. He'd planned to ask Cat to the dance instead of Virginia, but somehow, when she finally appeared he couldn't get the words out. Not like him, not at all.

Instead, he'd come up with some lame question about fencing! Mind you, she'd replied with a thoughtful and interesting answer. But that wasn't the point. For the first time in his adult life, Adam had been tongue-tied around a woman. And he'd suffered for it. It was what he deserved. Sport pricked his ears as they neared the ranch buildings.

Perhaps Cat might still be up. The thought warmed him far more than he would have thought possible, and the last of his temper subsided.

How lucky Virginia had feigned a headache and wanted to be taken home early. Maybe he'd share a late night coffee with Cat and continue the political discussion they'd started earlier. He wanted to explore her ideas further - especially the outrageous one of woman being allowed to vote! Heaven help the country if Cat got into politics! He chuckled and clicked to Sport, and even though the light was weak, the big horse strode out, eager to reach the barn.

Cat wandered around the great room. She'd chosen a book earlier in the night, but after reading the first couple of chapters decided she didn't care for it. She gone back to the silent house to try and find another. Hop Sing had lit all the lamps for the Cartwright's home coming later, which bathed the room in gentle light.

Cat knew she should retire to the bunkhouse quickly, but she couldn't help wanting to spend a few extra minutes in the house. She remembered Adam mentioning how confining winter was here, and that they spent a lot of time reading to escape from one another while hemmed in by snow.

She'd always loved books and had used them to elude the bitter reality of life in recent times. As she glanced through the volumes, she studied her surroundings.

The main room was large and inviting. Dark timber beams contrasted with white washed walls around the dining area. In the main room, comfortable old chairs surrounded the huge stone fireplace. Cheery family mementos were scattered about, making it cozy, despite the height of the ceiling. On Ben's desk were three ornately framed pictures. All of beautiful women, Cat realised they must be his wives. Hoss had told her one day that they each had different mothers.

She instantly picked out Adam's mother. A dark haired beauty with Adam's divined cheek bones stared out at her from the frame. He'd never known his mother either. She put the precious picture back and took another look around her.

Her ranch house wasn't similar at all in design, but it had the same warm, homey atmosphere with similar comforts. Cat felt the familiar, painful ache of loss.

Stubbornly shutting out the past, she turned back to the bookshelf near Ben's desk. Running her finger along the spines, she came across a leather bound copy of 'The Old Curiosity Shop' by Charles Dickens. Cruel memories struck her like a dagger. Carefully removing the book with trembling fingers, she opened the front cover and found an inscription.

'To Adam, my dear son and closest companion. May your years ahead bring happiness and joy. Happy fifteenth birthday, from your loving father, Ben Cartwright, 1845.'

Without warning, tears welled behind her eyes. It was the same book she'd found under the Christmas tree that year. She remembered lying alone on the cold wood floor, her hands trembling as she removed the blood spattered wrapping. When she read the cheery, loving inscription she'd screamed in anger and torn the pages to shreds, only to panic moments later and try to piece them back together.

It was the last thing her father had ever written to her. And she'd destroyed it. He'd never hug her again, nor would her brothers. Never again would she see their smiling faces and feel their loving arms around her.

Cat rarely let the grief of the tragedy of what had happened that faithful Christmas overwhelm her, but the dedication in Adam's book triggered the raw wound. Cat couldn't stop the tears from coming. Overcome by a wave of emotion, she leaned unsteadily on the bookcase; her strength of mind shattered.

All of a sudden, the front door opened and someone entered. Cat, startled by the intrusion, tried to regain her composure before the person walked around the corner and saw her crying. She hastily wiped her eyes and tried to bring her emotions under control. She moved tentatively to the pot belly stove and glanced around the corner.

Adam! She watched as he tossed his hat onto the sideboard and removed his gunbelt. She retreated back to the wall of books. Why did it have to be him? Perhaps he'd go into the kitchen giving her a chance to escape unnoticed.

But he didn't. Adam walked toward the desk and noticed her standing by the bookshelf.

"Cat. You're still up?"

Cat took a deep breath to compose herself. "I started one book but didn't like it. I came in to get another one."

Adam walked toward her. The frown was nowhere to be seen. An unusually soft look had replaced it causing her heart to skip a beat.

"Join me in a cup of coffee?"

"Oh, er, no, I think I'll just go to bed. Sorry to disturb you."

He didn't comment but continued to approach her, stopping just a few feet away. Luckily the lamp on the desk wasn't fully turned up. He couldn't seem to tell she'd been crying.

"What did you decide on?"

Cat looked dazedly at the book still clutched in her hand.

"Oh, nothing. I noticed it . . . on the shelf. I had a copy . . . once." Her throat still burned from the emotion. She could hardly speak. Oh dear God, she could feel the tears welling behind her eyes again. She couldn't cry again now. Not in front of him; she just couldn't!

"Let me see," he said in a pleasant tone.

He reached out and tried to take the book from her. Cat didn't realize how hard she gripped the novel.

"Cat, are you all right?"

She heard his question, but kept her head down and away from his seeking eyes. She felt cold all over: frozen.

"You're trembling," she heard his deep, almost distant voice utter. His hands moved from the book and grasped her forearms. She jerked away from the human contact.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied hastily, terrified of being laughed at, ridiculed for her weakness. She fought the warmth from his hands. "Let me go!" She pulled back sharply. The novel thudded to the ground, forgotten.

"Cat, easy now."

His soft, firm voice lulled her. Tears blurred her eyes. She had to get away. She moved her arms together and struggled against his hold. He tightened his grip and pulled her toward him. Cat, desperate to hide her feelings from him, tried to escape but it was too late. Adam wound his arms around her back and dragged her against his chest. Held firmly in place, she couldn't move. Surprisingly, Cat realized she didn't want to. She was done; empty inside.

Cat knew she was no longer the young, confident and happy young woman she'd been before that Christmas. Had she spent so long living in regret and pain she didn't know how to function as a civil human being any more? Where was her life headed? These hard questions bombarded her. She had to face the fact that she was alone in the world, trying to hold on to a dream that no longer existed.

The moment was too much for her. She surrendered to Adam's hold and collapsed against him, and her body drained of all conflict. He felt so safe, so good, so strong. Maybe she could shelter in his protection for a few minutes. Cat desperately tried to hold back a flood of long suppressed tears. She lost her battle.

Adam was taken by surprise as Cat slumped and went limp against him. He reacted on instinct and quickly took her weight in his arms. Bewildered, he frowned with concern as Cat sobbed wretchedly. He'd never seen her cry before or be the least bit emotional. He moved one arm up to her head and guided it down to rest against his shoulder. Her body, strong yet remarkably even more feminine than he remembered, rested snugly against his.

"Hush, now," he said softly. She continued to cry but was clearly trying to hide it. He kept one hand against her head and began to stroke her hair and temple in an attempt to soothe her.

Had he done this to her: made her this unhappy? He knew he'd been unfair to her for most of her stay at the Ponderosa. Despite their arguments, he thought they were starting to form a friendship. No, he knew they were.

Cat wasn't a fickle woman. She was nothing but strong, courageous and fearless. There were times he'd wondered if she possessed a woman's heart. Perhaps tonight he'd found it. Recalling her sadness from the evening before, he figured this ran deep. Maybe homesickness? Whatever it was, he intended to help her through it.

He'd hold her for as long as she wanted him. If she needed protection, shelter from her demons, then he would provide it. That's what he was best at and he felt comfortable in the role.

She felt good molded against him; so right. She went quiet after a while, until only random sobs broke the silence. As he lightly stroked her back, Adam wondered where she'd really come from, what had happened to her? Why had she left her family? Why had they let her go? He'd never let a sister or daughter roam the country on her own as Cat did.

Adam knew he'd been biased against her at the start. He'd been obstinate and overbearing, maybe even chauvinistic. He'd felt his reasons had been valid at the time against having a woman on the place. But he'd never expected to meet one like Cat.

Perhaps, if he cared to get closer to her, he'd find that hidden side of her, like treasure waiting to be discovered by the right person. Why did a woman end up working ranches for money? What must have happened in her past to bring her to this end? She seemed well educated, intelligent and was quite attractive under her unyielding exterior. Something very tragic must have happened to her to draw such a reaction from her now.

He glanced down just as she looked up.

"I'm s...sorry," she managed to choke.

"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."

Adam made a promise to himself there and then, to change his attitude and reverse any anger and hurt he'd bestowed on her. And if she needed someone to confide in, he'd be there for her. She might not have had anyone she could trust in a very long time.

But how could he tell her that? Why would she trust him? He frowned as the hesitation to speak plainly to her returned. He just had to work out what to say.

Cat, her head still rested against his wide shoulder, drew strength from his comforting embrace. It wasn't easy to dull the well of pain that had been festering inside her for years, but Adam's presence helped. She sobbed spasmodically and clung to him as if he were her only lifeline.

"Shush..."

His voice, deep and warm, soothed her. She felt so safe with Adam's arms around her. Warmth from his body flowed through her chilled bones like life giving blood. At some point, she'd managed to wind her arms about his neck, and her fingers now rested lightly against his nape. She'd never let a man comfort her before. All reason and sense left her, as she turned her tear streaked face up toward Adam in wonderment.

Most of her life she'd worked hard, concentrated on her family and ranch rather than relationships. She'd neglected being a woman. That didn't mean she'd never dreamed of being held by a man, of wanting to know what it felt like to be intimately touched or comforted. She had. Some nights when she'd been much younger, she'd lain awake until the small hours just wondering if she'd ever experience such things. Hard times had made her forget all those dreams.

As she regained her control, she knew she should move away from him, thank him and bid goodnight. But instead, she became more aware of how Adam's body felt against hers. She never expected a simple embrace to make her feel so secure. Beneath that, a strange tingling dusted her skin wherever they touched. The beat of his heart, strong and steady, thudded against her breast, heightening her awareness. The rhythm of his hands, lightly stroking her hair and back, started to create a disturbing friction way down deep inside.

Cat inched her head closer to his neck. His black string tie hung limply at his throat. He'd undone the top two buttons of his white dress shirt revealing the light sprinkling of dark curls beneath. Cat remembered seeing his naked chest and tried to imagine what it would be like to touch it.

She shivered and turned her head into his hard shoulder to shield her innocent reaction. He only intensified her fledgling feelings by squeezing her tighter. He was still trying to comfort her.

As she buried her face against him, his clean, masculine scent invaded her senses. Her fingers moved against her will and brushed against the softness of his short, black hair. What would if feel like to run her fingers through it properly? Her breathing quickened and she became increasingly aware of her body and its reactions to Adam. When she shifted against him, her unbound breasts brushed his chest, giving her a delicious tingling sensation.

What was happening to her? She tried to calm herself; tried to ignore these potent new sensations, but she wasn't sure how to. Maybe if she told him she was all right now, he'd release her. But she didn't want him to. Not yet.

She took a chance and glanced up again, wondering what he was thinking. This was probably a chore for him, coddling a helpless female. She couldn't guess his thoughts from the look on his face. He wasn't frowning though. That was a good sign. And hell he was ten times more handsome when he didn't, which only added to her plight. Oh Lordy: was she losing her mind?

She's beautiful! The surprising thought hit Adam like hooves from a bucking bronco. Why hadn't he seen it before? The thudding of his heart grew more rapid as he searched the emerald depths of her eyes now tinged with red from crying. Never had he seen such lovely eyes.

Clear thoughts grew hazy as a spell wove its way through him. So close, her trembling lips confused and tempted him. All reason deserted him, as he realized he wanted to kiss her.

Deeply.

Adam lowered his head, watching her, waiting for her to pull away, trying to decide if he should tempt fate. He tried to hold back, but nothing worked. Dangerously close, he breathed in the sweet, exotic essence that was Cat's alone. His lips hovered close to her cheek. Just a taste, one small sample . . . then surely she'd slap him and tell him off. But worth it? Oh yes!

Lightly, slowly, he touched his lips to the corner of her mouth. She didn't move. Why didn't she pull away? Surely she couldn't want him to continue? He placed another feathery kiss on the edge of her bottom lip. Waves of sensation washed through him like a flash flood. His entire body tensed. He groaned in frustration and knew he was lost.


	11. Chapter 11

His lips met hers in a rush of desire so strong Adam shook from the intensity. Cat didn't object. Instead, she responded to him! As he pressed against her lips, her mouth softened and moved with his. Cautiously, he touched his tongue against the edge of her lips. Instead of refusal, she opened her mouth to him, inviting him inside.

A ravenous hunger for her gathered in his body, as he tasted her for the first time. A small groan escaped Cat's throat as he explored the depths of her mouth. So sweet, so warm. He felt her move her hands from his neck to his chest, push aside the fine material of his coat jacket and tentatively run them around his waist. He shuddered. He heard his own low growl as he continued their passionate kiss.

Cat, overwhelmed by his advance and stunned by her response to him, freed her body from the constraints of her mind. She'd never experienced feelings as intense as these, and just for a moment, she wanted to savor them.

Her flesh burned like fire wherever he touched her. His warm, firm lips melded with hers, causing ripples of unfamiliar, yet spine tingling sensations to engulf her. When she opened her mouth to him, the touch of his velvety tongue against hers made her quiver all over.

She wanted to feel the heat and the hardness of his muscles beneath her fingers, so she burrowed her arms inside his jacket and around his waist. She wasn't disappointed. Her seeking fingers explored and touched. Through the linen of his shirt, she molded her hands along the outlines of his muscles, trying to memorize each striking new discovery.

To her surprise she heard and felt a low groan rumble from his chest. Cat, confused and dazed, wasn't sure if that was good or bad. She only knew she didn't want it to end just yet. She kept on returning his deep, heady kisses and continued to touch his torso with tentative fingers.

She felt Adam's roughened thumb on her cheek. He traced a tear stain down to her throat and followed with his lips. Cat's knees went weak. His breath was hot and pleasing on her skin. She tipped her head back, offering her neck, gasping when he nuzzled and nibbled all the way along her throat. Her hands reacted to his new caress, gliding up his broad back, kneading the muscles she found there.

He inched his kisses back up to her cheek again, and she eagerly offered her lips again, wanting to taste more. He didn't disappoint her. Another hot, intense kiss resulted. Cat shivered with delight and leaned into him with relish.

Adam felt like he was losing control. Cat had awoken every fiber in his body. She was testing every measure of restraint he had. Tearing away from her lips, he moved his mouth down her throat once more. He didn't want to let her go; he wanted to explore, discover every intriguing inch of her. Cat's tall body fitted against him snugly. It was an unexpected pleasure to hold a woman who almost matched him in height and didn't feel as though she might break apart in his arms. It made his hunger stronger, bolder, more demanding.

He kissed her again and again. He'd known quite a few women intimately, but none had ever drawn a response so raw and uncontrolled from him. He knew he wanted her.

But she couldn't want him.

He forced his mind to work and think about his actions. Cat had been upset and vulnerable, and he'd been comforting her. He was taking advantage of her by kissing her at such a time. He had to stop. The delicious sensations she gave him were clouding his judgement. He had to stop, be responsible.

Adam reluctantly left her tempting mouth. Her lips, slightly swollen, remained enticingly parted. He longed to go back to them and indulge far into the night. He watched as she opened her beguiling eyes. She was clearly dismayed he'd stopped. In that moment he almost relented.

Yet, he knew she couldn't be thinking clearly. How could she be? Caught in a weak moment anyone would cling to physical affection. He needed to stop it right now, before he was lost in her. His brows went down. He regretfully withdrew his arms.

"Cat, I'm sorry," he said softly. She didn't reply. "I shouldn't have done that. I don't usually get so carried away." Adam waited, but she remained silent. He became tense as he waited for some retort from her.

"I'm sure you don't."

He watched as the passionate glaze left her face, and was replaced by a distant look.

"Big mistake," she mumbled as she stepped back from him.

She had every right to be angry with him. He'd just ravaged her without permission, when all she needed from him was a friendly embrace. He was disgusted with himself.

"I think we could both use a drink," he replied.

Adam moved away to the fireplace and headed for the brandy. He needed time to regain his composure. His thoughts raced at great speed. His physical needs had almost won out over his head. But he didn't feel like apologizing or pretending he didn't want her; he felt like holding her, kissing her, making love to her.

"I'll pass. I should be going back to the bunkhouse."

Her impassive tone saddened him. Adam sighed heavily and stared into the fire. "We should talk about what just happened."

"Nothing happened."

Adam turned and tried to look into her soul through her eyes. A hard mask sat firmly in place. She continued.

"You simply comforted me when I needed it. I... thank you for that. As far as anything else, well..." she trailed off.

"Why were you so upset?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Adam heard the hardness in her tone. Why wouldn't she let him in? Well, he refused to push her. He still didn't know how long he could control his body. With her in the same room, so close, he risked taking her again and kissing the hardness from her heart. Frustration pushed him to be blunt. He turned back to the fire and took a large swig of straight whiskey.

"Go, then." His monotone voice betrayed nothing, just as he wanted. "Don't forget the north pasture needs fencing repairs tomorrow."

"Fine."

Cat ached. Why was he suddenly so disinterested? Had he already forgotten their passionate moments thinking about work? Yet **her** body remained on fire; her emotions raged. Her words were the opposite of her feelings, but she didn't know how to express what she felt. She'd loved his kisses. She wanted to go to him, as a surge of longing lapped close to the surface of her skin.

Having had no experience with men, she didn't know what to think or say. Did he care for her, or had it been just a moment of passion he'd to be shrugged off without regard? It hadn't felt like it, but Adam appeared cool and unmoved as he leaned casually by the fireplace.

Of course, he regretted kissing her: Cat De'Maine, cowhand. He'd probably kissed Miss Keith earlier tonight and found her severely lacking in comparison.

"I'll try and remember the fencing."

Adam looked at her without giving away his thoughts.

"Good night."

She waited for him to stop her, to make some gesture that might show her he had some sort of feelings for her. It didn't happen. He just watched her, so she took the last word.

"I was grateful for your compassion. However, rest assured, I'll not need it again any time soon." With that, she retreated from the house and closed the large door behind her.

After she'd gone, Adam could finally release the fierce clamp he'd held on his emotions and ask himself why he'd really detached himself from the moment. He leaned on the mantel for support; his head began to pound. Cat's face hovered within the flames of the fire.

What was it about Cat? Those eyes like the deep rain forest he'd seen up north. Was it her long, beautiful hair, rich and dark and full of fire? Perhaps it was her sharp mind or her honesty. He glanced back to the fire's fading image and sighed.

Adam wasn't afraid of anything: anything except love. The pain of loss outweighed the joy. He knew that through bitter experience. He'd been unlucky at love too many times to trust these new budding feelings. He didn't want to fall for Cat, or any woman. Not again.

In a fit of frustration, he smashed his empty glass into the fire and strode from the house. For the first time in a long time, he felt like getting drunk.

Cat heard the pounding of hooves from where she lay in her bunk. She knew it was Adam probably heading back to town. He hadn't tried to follow her. It was obvious their encounter meant nothing to him. He'd probably had hundreds of such liaisons.

He mustn't know how deeply it had affected her. Feelings she never knew she had were awakened in her body. Not only that, she had a horrible feeling that Adam could be the only one who would draw such a response from her.

How could something like this happen? Confusion reined inside her head. The trembling aftermath of their encounter still raked her body. She turned over knowing a sleepless night awaited her, as well as a feverish nightmare with Adam in command of her dreams.

Cat spent Sunday on a lonely ride out to the Lake. She didn't feel like facing anyone or being falsely cheery. She had a lot to think about. Especially about her life and where it was headed.

She'd woken late with the positive thought that the night before had all been a dream and nothing really happened. She knew that wasn't true as soon as she dressed and went to the window of the bunkhouse.

Outside, in the morning air was Adam, preparing the buggy for the ride into town and to church. She felt her skin tingle as she watched him move and work on hitching the horse and harness.

The memory of his touch flooded back as she watched. She pressed her fingers to her lips and felt the heat in them as they recalled his kiss.

He was the one.

Her father had always joked with her when she was a little girl.

"How will I know when my prince comes along, Pa?"

His jolly laugh echoed in her mind. "You'll just know, little Cat. One day, you'll see him, and just know."

That day, she reluctantly realized, was here. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing it was Adam Cartwright. Last night when he'd easily turned off his charm and dismissed her, she'd seen his true colors. He had no feelings for her, he couldn't have. Cat had no experience, but she'd been told before that men in general took what they wanted with no regard for love. However, Will's story came into her mind. Adam had been hurt by love. Perhaps that was why he'd suddenly turned so cold.

Not that she'd behaved any better. She'd told him well and truly what she'd thought of him. Her retaliation was a cover-up. She couldn't let him know how she really felt. He'd laugh into her face and she'd be shattered.

She'd quickly retreated from the window when Adam turned toward the bunkhouse. She didn't want to chance him seeing her, so she stayed inside until well after he and the other Cartwrights left. Then she saddled Rebel and rode out to the lake.

Memories of her old life and uncertain thoughts about her future ensured she felt lousy for most of the day. Then, after hours of gazing at the lake and the surrounding mountains, and of trying to work out a plan, she finally had to admit what was really bothering her.

Somehow, after being in Adam's arms the night before, and having let some of the built up grief out of her system, she no longer felt quite as wretched about the past.

She'd done her best to save the family home. Maybe she'd been too hard on herself. Perhaps she should have talked about it to someone long before now. Perhaps she'd taken everything way too hard.

Adam had reason to be disinterested in her. She'd done nothing but fight with him since they met. Now was the time to take her life back. She wasn't going to wallow in the past, nor did she want to hide from the truth about herself anymore. She'd been ruining her chance at life. It was time to form a new plan. With that positive thought, she mounted Rebel and started the ride back to the ranch house.

She was close to twenty-three years old and didn't have a real friend. She'd forgotten how to have fun. She didn't even own a party dress or a dress of any kind. Her father would have been horrified at the way she'd let herself go. He'd always done his best to make sure she never forgot she was a young lady, even though she was a tomboy. And with the small taste of passion she'd allowed herself the night before, she could only guess at what she'd missed out on as far as love was concerned.

Maybe she could turn the situation around. If she learned to be like the other refined women in town, Adam might see her differently. She would have to learn how to dress properly, how to act like a lady and most importantly learn to control her temper. She smiled at the difficulties she could see ahead. She actually felt happy for the first time in years.

Cat thought about her reactions to Adam again. She'd never dared to hope she'd ever experience intimacy. Now she couldn't get it out of her mind. Adam had the same stubbornness, the same pride, and the same determination not to give in as she did. They were more alike than she'd realized. She liked his strength and temper. She wouldn't like to be pampered or treated as a doll by a man. She needed a man who matched her strength of character, who knew her worth and at whose side she could stand firmly. She needed an exciting, passionate man. Adam was all those things and more.

But, it was also obvious to her that Adam would need a more refined woman. Or, maybe he didn't want one at all. The story of his former lover entered her mind again. He'd need a beautiful, sophisticated woman to repair his heart, not one clumsy and inexperienced like she was. But then again, Cat was not one to give in easily. She started to think seriously about how to win a man like Adam.

Adam felt awful. His head thumped with the worst headache he could remember. He leaned back on the blue chair. Hoss and Little Joe were squabbling over some insignificant thing at the dining table. Ben was in a grumpy mood after church, as he'd unsuccessfully tried to avert Adam's argument with the minister over the sermon.

Adam had desperately wanted to argue with someone. He had so much pent up emotion inside, he felt like he could explode.

"That's it!" Ben Cartwright's imposing voice overrode everyone's activities. "You two, Joseph, Hoss, go away! I don't care if you kill each other, just do it outside!"

The pair of them trudged slowly out of the house and gave Adam a sour glance as they went. He'd provoked them into their argument by niggling them all morning. "And **you**!"

Adam turned bloodshot eyes toward his Pa. "What?"

"You started all this. You've been like a bear with a sore head all morning. Actually, now I think about it, you've been like this ever since Cat came to work for us." Ben walked toward the fireplace and faced his eldest son with a grim expression.

Adam didn't reply. He just looked down. Why did his father have to mention her now?

"You don't deny it?"

"No."

"I know she's the reason. If you can't stand her that much, then I'll ask her to leave. Mind you, I'm not too happy about it. She's a good worker, one of the best we've had. But I can't be unfair to you if she makes you this angry all the time. I'd hoped you being at the logging camp for a time would calm you down."

Adam knew his father was trying to get a bite out of him. He wanted to know why Adam disliked her so much. Yet, that wasn't really the problem anymore.

Adam turned toward the fireplace, his eyes covered with one hand. He didn't often drink in excess but he'd indulged heavily after the business with Cat.

"Do you want to talk about it, son?"

Adam didn't speak hoping his father's patience would wear thin and make him give up.

"All right, I'll fire her tonight, leave it to me."

Panic bubbled inside Adam as he finally responded, He uncovered his bloodshot eyes and looking up into his father's concerned face.

"No." The catch in his word surprised him. He could usually control his emotions much better than this. He took a deep breath and watched as Ben turned and sat down in his leather chair by the fire.

"Well son?"

"I don't want you to fire Cat."

"So this mood of yours has nothing to do with her?"

"No. Yes." Adam stared pensively into the cold hearth.

"Which is it?"

Adam almost smiled at his father's low, lulling tone. Ben Cartwright was an expert on extracting information, making you feel as though he could solve any problem.

"Both." Adam listened to the silence for a long while. He could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock the air was so still. He gathered his thoughts. "I kissed her."

Silence.

Adam didn't dare look at his father. This would come as a shock. Yet, he wanted to try and work out his confused feelings.

"Cat? You mean you kissed Cat?"

Adam heard the shock in Ben's voice. "Yeah."

"On purpose?"

A slight grin touched Adam's mouth as he cocked up one eyebrow and looked sideways at his father. "Yeah."

"Well." Ben was obviously trying not to look shocked by Adam's revelation. "That is . . .unexpected."

"I saw her last night when she was getting a book. She was upset about something." Adam paused to choose his words carefully.

"And?"

"And I comforted her. She needed a shoulder to cry on and I offered it." Adam stared down at the table in front of him.

"Then?" Frustration laced Ben's question.

"Then, I'm not sure. Something changed. I felt . . .drawn to her. The point is, I kissed her and . . ."

"She fought you off? You can't expect a woman like Cat to let you have your way without permission."

"No, she didn't fight."

"Oh?"

"She'd needed comfort, a friend, nothing more. Yet I took advantage of her and she let me."

"Adam, I know Cat pretty well by now. And if there's one thing I know about her, it's that she'd never let a man or anyone take advantage of her if she didn't want them to."

"You don't understand. She was crying, not herself."

"Nevertheless

"She told me afterward I'd caught her in a moment of weakness and that she'd never let it happen again."

Another long silence prevailed.

"And that's what's wrong, isn't it?"

Adam didn't look up. As usual, Ben had guessed the real truth of the matter.

"Son?"

Adam looked up as Ben leaned forward in his chair. He spoke in a deep, understanding tone. The same tone that had comforted him as a boy and for many years since every time Adam met with adversary or pain.

"Despite your hostility toward Cat, you've grown to like her, respect her. You don't want to lose her friendship, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"I'm sure if you speak to her, she'll understand."

"That's not it, not exactly."

"Then what?"

Adam cradled his head again, preferring the hangover to consume him rather than look his father in the eye.

"I think . . .I'm falling in love with her."


	12. Chapter 12

_NOTE: My references to Michelle are from another fan fiction story called Dearly Beloved. I was very taken with the story and featured Adam falling in love with a woman only after him for his money._ _Also, for those that have read the story before, I have an added scene in this chapter._

Adam watched his father's eyes widen in shock. Whatever he'd been expecting Adam to say that wasn't it. "You look like you've just seen a ghost. Is it that hard to believe, Pa?"

"I wasn't expecting it, if that's what you mean."

"I know." Adam shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "The thing is, I don't want to fall in love again."

Adam's thoughts wandered. Regina and Ruth had both chosen their life's calling over his love for them. He'd fallen hard for Michelle but her love for him had all been a lie. And now those same feelings were biting into his heart with Cat. But this time it seemed twice as bad.

"There's nothing wrong with falling in love, son."

"Yes there is." Adam's memories hardened his resolve.

"Perhaps there is if it's with the wrong woman. You been . . .unlucky."

"And choosing someone like Cat, who hates me, is not unlucky?"

"I honestly don't think Cat hates you. In fact, I think the two of you would be nicely suited it you gave it a chance."

Adam looked at his father's dark eyes with surprise. "Suited, us?"

"I can't remember you ever spending as much time with a girl as you have with Cat. You seem to enjoy her company."

"But I've had to keep an eye on her, protection. For her own good."

"Uh huh. And while you were protecting her, didn't you talk for hours, work together, even laugh on occasion?"

"Well, yeah, but "

"Getting to know a person, really know them, is a big part of real love. You've spent a lot more time with Cat than you ever spent with the others. The fact that you only realized your growing feelings when you kissed her . . .well, that's when most men find out. When it's too late."

Adam frowned and studied the cracks in the floorboards.

"You've got a lot in common. She's headstrong, smart and loves the ranch life. She has opinions on everything, just like someone else I know."

"She's got this crazy idea that women should get the vote!"

"You see? And she's not afraid of a fight," added Ben wryly. "Adam, if there ever was a woman I'd say could make your life rich and full, Cat would be her."

"But what if . . .in the past I've lost . . ." Adam trailed off not able to put his concerns into words.

"Everything in life is a gamble, Adam. I loved your mother and lost her. But I don't regret one moment. She gave me the most precious thing in my life. She gave me a child, a son, a friend. She gave me you and I thank God for that privilege."

Adam felt his throat contract. His Pa smiled warmly.

"Don't ever be afraid to give your heart, son. You haven't known true love in return yet, but I have a feeling you will very soon."

Ben watched Adam closely. He'd always been such a serious young man, and giving his love to a woman was never going to be a light-hearted matter. The fact that he'd fallen in love before in his life and had those episodes turn out badly didn't help. Now, approaching twenty-seven, he still hadn't experienced love in the true sense. Ben had started to worry many years ago when Adam began hardening his heart slowly and surely after the deaths of Inger and Marie. He felt deeply for his family and close friends and falling in love with a woman would not be any different.

That was why the tragedies of his previous relationships played so heavily on Ben's mind. He'd prayed that Adam would get over those hurtful times and find happiness. Perhaps Cat was the answer to his prayers. Ben looked hard at his son. He'd been noticing a change in Adam recently, and now he knew why. He knew the look in his eyes, the same look he'd worn when he met Elizabeth all those years ago.

Love was an elusive thing. No, Adam still had not known true love - not what love should be. It should be a painful, wonderful, dangerous journey undertaken by two people who shared equally strong feelings for each other. Two people who committed totally to one another above all else.

Now he thought about it, Ben suspected that Cat might not dislike Adam as much as she pretended, especially now they'd shared an intimate moment in which she'd participated without immediate retaliation. And if Cat knew how Adam really felt, she might admit her interest. They were both so alike, strong willed. The more Ben though about it, the more he knew they'd be perfect for each other. Cat might be the woman who could restore Adam's faith in love.

Ben got up and slowly walked around the room. After considering carefully for several minutes, he gave his opinion.

"Don't give up. I think you should take it slow, get to know her better. You said she was crying last night. Find out why. She might have been hurt in the past too."

Adam grimaced and rubbed his temple. "What if she rejects me . . . my friendship?"

"That's a chance you must take." Ben looked over thoughtfully. "But I don't think she will. I have a feeling about this. You haven't given her much of a chance to get to know you away from work. "I think if you take the time to get to know her and understand her, you may be surprised at the outcome."

Ben received no answer. "Maybe the fall round-up dance in a few weeks would be a good opportunity. You could ask her and spend some time together away from the ranch."

"I'm going back to the logging site tomorrow."

"I know, but you've done such a good job up there, you'll be finished on time. In time to enjoy the rest of the summer, and maybe escort Cat around.

Ben waited for Adam's comment, but none was forthcoming. In the end, he left the room, patting his charge on the shoulder as he went. All he could do was plant the seeds. He could never persuade Adam if he didn't want to be persuaded. Affairs of the heart were difficult to navigate.

After Ben left, Adam made a decision. His father was right. How could anyone make a rational judgement after the start they'd had? But he couldn't let her know of his feelings just yet. He wasn't sure of them himself. If she rejected him altogether, he didn't know if he could stand it. If this horrible tearing at his heart and soul was love, Adam was not at all sure he wanted to be a part of it. He'd experienced all the pain he was willing to during his lifetime. Rising slowly, he retired to his room to think some more, to decide if he truly wanted to court Cat. And to sleep off the worse hangover he'd ever had!

Adam was up and saddling Sport before dawn. He was in two minds about his father's advice. He'd half hoped Cat would have been in the barn working, and he'd have to say hello, force himself to start a conversation. But she wasn't there. He lingered for a few minutes after his horse was ready to no avail. He had to go. He'd have time to think more on it at the logging site. As he galloped out, his skin prickled as if someone was watching him. He didn't want to look. It was her, he knew it. And he wouldn't be able to stand it if she'd had a frown of disdain on her beautiful face.

Cat watched him from her hidden position behind the second barn. He'd looked pensive and unapproachable. Her bravado from the day before had all but deserted her as she found herself stuck like glue to the floor of the barn. Her mouth went dry as she looked at his handsome profile lit only by the lantern hanging by the barn door. Could she ever hope to have a man like him one day?

And now that she watching him riding away, she knew she'd missed the opportunity to clear the air between them. He must be on his way back to the logging camp. All of the hands had been told they weren't to enter the area. Trees could be felled at any time and those not aware of the schedule were ordered to stay away. When would he come back? Cat turned her head and returned to her chores.

The next couple of weeks dragged on. Adam didn't come down from the mountain and Cat didn't dare go up there against orders. If he'd felt any differently to what he'd indicated on the night of their kiss, surely he would have tried to let her know? Cat had to face facts that Adam didn't have any feelings for her beyond those of a man used to kissing women when the opportunity arrived. She should still keep to her plan of starting her life over, but vow to do it back in Arizona once the season was over. She needed to forget about any thoughts of Adam.

On the next Saturday afternoon, Cat arrived back at the bunkhouse ready for a quiet few hours reading in peace. The men were getting ready to go to town as usual. She put her mustang Bobby up in the barn and let Rebel loose in the empty breaking corral to allow him to role and enjoy the warm summer sun.

As she watched him trot around the corral, Ben came out from the house and joined her by the rails.

"Afternoon, Cat. He's a good looking animal all right."

"Yes." She smiled and thought of the day she'd got him.

"I saw some Andalusians once down at a Hacienda owned by an old friend of mine."

"Really? Did you see them dance?"

"Yes, quite spectacular. I don't suppose you've ever had the chance to teach him some tricks?"

"I started to, but well, our circumstances changed."

"I'm surprised you turned him into a cow pony."

"He does well for such a big heavy boned horse, but he's not nearly as nimble as Bobby.

"Ah yes, your little mustang. Your a good horsewoman."

"Thank you."

"You know, he'd be worth a great deal of money to the right buyer. If you were in financial difficulty I could-"

"No, no Mr Cartwright. I could never sell him."

"Oh?"

"He was a gift . . .from my family. A sixteenth birthday present."

Ben nodded and looked wistful for a moment. "I understand what it's like to get such a gift."

Cat smiled and was grateful he hadn't asked her more questions. "Sometimes I wish he could have spent his life dancing and not herding."

"And how about you?"

"Ha," she chuckled. "No, I'm no dancer Mr Cartwright."

They remained silent for a while, then he continued. "Adam's almost finished the logging contract."

"Really?" She tried not to sound too interested.

"They should be back down tomorrow evening."

"I'm glad it's done and nobody got hurt."

"Cat, can I ask you something personal?"

She nodded slightly, worried it would be a question she didn't want to answer.

"Adam was worried about you before he went back to the logging camp."

"Oh?"

"He was concerned that you were upset. And that his actions may have caused your unhappiness."

"I . . ." Cat chose her words carefully. "I was upset but it wasn't Adam's fault."

"Nothing any of the men did I hope?"

She shook her head no. "I guess I haven't had a very good time of it over the last few years. Things just caught up with me for a moment."

"I'm sorry. If there's anything we can do-"

"-You've already done more than enough. Having this job has helped tremendously."

"I know you had your disagreements with Adam. He's hard-headed but once you get to know him-"

"-I have no ill feelings toward him." She tried to hide her face as she felt her skin flush.

"He's fond of you, he told me so."

She didn't answer him, instead she tried to stop fidgeting with Rebel's lead rein.

"Say, I've got a nice idea," said Ben in a newly cheery tone."

Cat tipped her face toward him. "Tomorrow I have some friends coming out for Sunday lunch. They own a large property in the mid-west and are out here looking for stock to buy. I'm sure they'd love to see a Spanish Dancer in action. How about you and Rebel perform some tricks for them?"

"Oh." Cat, taken aback by the change of subject looked at him with surprise. "He only does a few things. He's not fully trained in dressage."

"But even so, a couple of tricks would be wonderful. Would you like to do it?"

Cat thought on it and figured it might be fun. It was months since she'd worked on Rebel's true talents.

"Okay, but don't expect too much."

"That's marvelous," he replied. "We'll look forward to it. Tomorrow afternoon then."

As he walked away Cat wondered what he'd truly wanted. It felt like he'd been trying to find out something, but what? But she was done trying to figure out Cartwrights. Instead, she'd better get to work with Rebel otherwise their show might only consist of a handsome horse trotting around in a circle.

Cat had been working hard on Rebel during the morning and felt ready to show him off after lunch. She took him back to the barn and started to give him a deep brush. Early in the morning she'd plaited his fringe, mane and tail wet, and now she undid them all. She smiled as his light and dark grey locks crinkled in the way Spanish horses were presented in the bull rings of Spain. She curried his coat until it shone.

He seemed to know what she was doing, as he started prancing and arching his neck.

"Show off," she chuckled.

"Well well, someone's getting the royal treatment around here."

A tremor ran through Cat's body and for a moment she felt light-headed. How could just his voice affect her this way?

"He's being put to work entertaining your father's guests," she replied without turning around. She only now thought about how untidy and dirty she must look after spending all morning preparing Rebel. So much for her pact of trying to look more lady-like. He walked up beside her and patted along Rebel's thick neck. She watched his hands and remembered them on her.

"How are you?" he asked carefully.

"Fine, you?"

"Fine now the logging's finished."

"Congratulations on getting it all finished." Cat still didn't want to look at him.

"I wanted to talk to you later if you're free."

"All right." Cat held her breath.

"Adam!" Cat heard Little Joe yelling for her brother. "Pa wants you."

"I'll see you later?"

Cat turned then, she had to have just a glimpse. "Yes," she replied. His dark eyes seemed warm, a small smile playing on his lips. A smile? Cat felt her heart flip-flop and then he turned and walked out swiftly. She almost felt as though she'd imagined his presence.

An hour later Cat's nerves were on edge. She'd tidied up a little and at least felt presentable. A small crowd gathered at the corral. Mr Cartwright's friends, a party of four, walked with him talking as they went. Behind the group walked Adam, but to Cat's dismay he had his arm entwined with that of a young lady. She wasn't Miss Keith but another girl Cat had never seen before. He smiled and laughed with her, acting like the perfect gentleman. He was dressed in his finery as was she.

Cat's heart dropped.

She turned away not wanting to see anymore interaction between Adam and the woman.

Instead she concentrated on commanding Rebel. She stood in the center of the corral with a long line and lunge whip she'd found in the large tack room. Little Joe ran out next to her and introduced her in a big voice.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for your entertainment introducing our own lady wrangler, Cat and her dancing Andalusian, Rebel."

Cat heard a smattering of applause as she touched the lunge whip to Rebel's rump and started him trotting around the corral. Then, she gave him a command and he changed to an extended trot. Everyone clapped noticing the clever change in gait.

Then she slowed him to a walk. After another command, Rebel went into the Spanish Walk, extending his front legs up and out. This earned a bigger cheer from the onlookers. Cat smiled, happy that they were enjoying the demonstration.

After a full circle she brought him to a halt. With a different tap of the lunge whip he rose opposite front and back legs in unison, dancing on the spot. Ohs and ahs rang out from the crowd at the site of Rebel's dance.

She sent him to trot again, hoping that they'd be able to do the final two tricks without a hitch. She stopped the big gray again, then walked in front of him. She lifted the whip and called a command in French. Rebel reared up and balanced on his hind legs. She heard Joe whooping and hollering. At least she'd impressed him!

She let Rebel down, took him closer to the rails and made him stand again. At this close distance, everyone gasped at the power and control in her horse's hind quarters. Lastly, she walked him to the middle of the corral. This was the most difficult trick she'd taught him. He'd been rusty that morning, but Rebel seemed to be enjoying the attention of the crowd and was definitely showing off.

"And now for our final trick, the standing jump," said said. She got Rebel to rear again but this time as his front legs were still in the air, he jumped up on his back legs and kicked them out behind him. The applause rang out loudly as he jumped again, and then a third time. He performed perfectly and for good measure, even pranced on the spot again to finish.

Cat walked over to him and patted him hard. They'd done it and she felt happier then she had for a long time. She turned and smiled at her still clapping audience.

"Thanks everyone."

"Cat, come and meet Mr Barker and his family," called Ben.

She undid Rebel's lead rope and let him go, then walked over to the group. She did her best not to seek out Adam's eyes and succeeded.

"Young lady, that was a real masterful display," said the man called Barker.

"Thank you, sir."

"Mighty fine animal. Don't suppose you'd want to sell him?"

She smiled but didn't have to answer.

"I'm afraid he's not for sale, Tom. Cat just got through telling me how she'll never part with him," said Ben.

"I don't blame you, dear. Come and join us in the house and tell us about how you got him and trained him."

"Thank you for asking, but I really should rub him down."

"Well, thank you again. Excellent, Ben," the man said as everyone dispersed. This time Cat saw Adam. He wasn't looking at her but the woman by his side. She felt that dagger return and took in a sharp, painful breath as he walked away.

"Can I help rub him down?" said Little Joe who was obviously uninterested in the adult talk.

"Sure." Cat felt flat as she walked back to Rebel.

"I'd love to teach some of those tricks to my new pinto. Can you show me how?"

"Sure if you want."

"Hot digity!"

The visitors stayed until late into the afternoon. The sun had almost set before they let for town. On the way past Mr Barker stopped at the bunk house and asked Cat to come out.

"Young lady, if you ever do consider selling your stallion, I'll give you a thousand dollars hard cash. I mean it."

Cat was stunned by his offer. "Thank you, sir. That's a most generous offer. But Mr Cartwright was correct when he said he's not for sale."

"Very well, but if you change your mind, you can contact me through Ben. Good day, and thank you again for your display."

Cat still thinking about the outrageous offer, turned toward the house. On the porch stood Adam. He was talking to the same young woman. Cat heard her tinkling laughter drift across the yard. She hung her head and retreated to the bunkhouse.

About twenty minutes later Adam walked in the door. Cat looked up from her bunk which was down the far end of the row of beds.

"Cat, can we talk?"

"I'm kinda tired. Can it wait until work tomorrow?"

"It'll only take a minute. It's nice out. Come sit in the garden."

From her to me just like that, Cat thought wryly. Well, she'd been silent too long. She'd take the time to talk to him, and then tell him exactly what she thought of his philandering ways.

"Fine." She got up off the bunk and stomped to the door. She breezed past him without stopping. Adam followed along but gave her some distance.

She walked around the back of the main house and into the small garden that Hop Sing tended. There was a strong smell of beautiful night Jasmine in the air that calmed Cat's temper. She took a moment to enjoy the scent before she spoke.

"So, what did you want to say?" she said abruptly, looking out into the dark garden rather than at him.

"That was great today with Rebel. I didn't know you'd trained him that way."

"You never asked," she said flatly.

"I really enjoyed it."

"Oh, you mean you tore your eyes away from that girl long enough to watch?"

"She was Mr Barker's daughter. I was her escort for the day."

"Sure, glad you liked our performance. Anything else?"

"I wanted to apologize for . . .that night." His voice was deep and smooth and soothing. Not what she wanted at all.

"Accepted, and?"

"Cat, I want to try and explain."

"Don't worry, that's not necessary. I understand you're a man of the world and you enjoy the company of women whenever you want."

"Cat, look at me."

She didn't want to because she knew she'd be lost. "No."

"Cat," he said more firmly.

"All I want is to be left alone, work out my time here and go back to Arizona."

"Tell me this, did you feel anything for me that night?"

That was a loaded question. He wanted to know her feelings without having any of his own. "Adam, you made great pains to protect me from every man on this ranch. In the end, you're the one I needed protection from. From now on, I'm appreciate you keeping your distance." She glanced up at him, saw his customary frown coupled with angry dark eyes. "Good night."

Cat brushed past him and walked around the corner of the house. She'd hardened her heart and that's the way it had to be until she left the Ponderosa for good.


	13. Chapter 13

_**NOTE**: Barbed wire wasn't yet available when this story is set, but I have have made it part of the story because it was used in a Bonanza episode. _

Adam watched her return to the barn. He wanted to argue and demand she listen to him. He'd thought of nothing but Cat the entire time he was finishing the logging contract. Did he want to pursue her? Was he really falling in love with her? He'd left his decision until he saw her again. When he walked into the barn and watched her preparing Rebel for the show, he knew what he wanted. And to win Cat he knew he had to start from the beginning.

But she wasn't making it easy. She was distant and guarded with him. And then she'd watched him entertaining Barker's daughter. Of course she wouldn't trust him, why would she? But was the fault all his? Adam wondered if she'd had a previous relationship with a man. She hadn't told him any details of her family. Perhaps she didn't have just brothers, maybe she also had a sweetheart back in Arizona. Her kisses had carried him away so she couldn't be as inexperienced as he'd figured.

Adam found himself in a foul mood again. He'd hoped to be kissing Cat in the garden, but instead he returned to the kitchen in a temper. Little Joe was in there getting a slab of bread and butter.

"Adam, guess what?"

"What," he said sharply as he poured a coffee for himself.

"Cat's gonna teach me and Cochise some tricks."

"You need to spend more time on your school work, not wasting time doing useless horse tricks."

"You enjoyed the show today, I saw you clapping and cheering."

"Do you need help with your arithmetic tonight?"

"Nope, not tonight. Tonight I'm workin' out what I'm packing for the drive. And Cat says because she'd ridin' drag, she'll teach me the ropes."

"You're not going on the drive," replied Adam sharply.

Joe's brows drew down in shock. "Not going? But Adam, you said last year I'd be old enough this year. I've been lookin' forward to it all summer."

"You haven't knuckled down with your lessons enough this year."

"You can't make me stay home. I'm tellin' Pa!" Joe's anger spiked quickly.

"I'm boss of the drive this year. That gives me final say on who goes. And I say no."

"But Adam, Cat's going to train me-"

"-And I don't want to hear that woman's name again tonight, got me?"

"Adam, what's going on in here?" Ben walked into the kitchen, his brow furrowed.

"He won't let me go on the drive," he said to his father. I hate him." Joe turned to his brother and looked him square in the eye. "I hate you!"

Adam watched Joe run out of the room then turned to his father. "Well?"

Ben sighed and shook his head. "I thought you were going to talk to Cat."

"I did," Adam replied dryly. "Good night." He walked out of the kitchen and left his father with no doubt how his talk had gone.

Damn that bull! Cat patrolled the southern boundaries looking for strays. She'd rounded up half a dozen head that were within a couple of miles from the line. Then, to her dismay, she spotted the ornery bull she and Adam had pulled from the mud all those weeks ago. He grazed not far from one of the trees that marked the ranch border. El Toro Grande! Such a prestigious name for such a stupid critter. But he was a valuable animal that she couldn't let wander onto the neighbor's property.

That morning before everyone had headed out for the day's work, Ben had come out to brief them on a problem. He'd told them that the Trewins were stirring up trouble in town and making veiled threats against Ponderosa men. He gave strict instructions not to go near their shared boundary until a resolution was worked out with the sheriff.

She'd been moving strays well back into ranch territory when she spotted the bull. Why did he have to be out here today of all days? She was feeling horrible enough after her words with Adam without having to deal with this pesky creature. Checking the area for riders, she quickly urged Rebel forward. Taking a wide circle around the beast, she let the stallion under her do his job. He weaved, dodged and coaxed the bull back toward the rise where the other small herd of strays was gathered. Cat got him back to safety without a problem and started to relax. She nudged the animals forward grateful to start back.

Just as she was about to move off, something caught her eye. A pinto cantered along well inside the neighbor's land. Cat knew the animal instantly. It was Little Joe's new horse, Cochise. What the hell was the kid doing around here? He should be on his way home from school coming from a different direction.

While deciding what to do the situation got worse as Cat spotted riders coming up in the distance from the direction of Trewin's ranch. They were on a collision course with Joe. She had to get down there and steer him home a different way. Taking only a second to react, she kicked Rebel into a gallop. She needed to get Little Joe to safety.

She gained on the cantering horse rapidly. The boy saw her coming and pulled Cochise to a halt.

"Joe, what are you doing out here? You're over the boundary."

"I . . .I was takin' a shortcut home."

"From where? You've been at school, haven't you?" Cat looked for the riders and grabbed Cochise's rein.

"I . . .I skipped. Adam told me I couldn't go on the drive last night. I hate him!"

"There's no time to talk about that now. You've got to get out of here! The neighbors are coming." Cat pointed and Little Joe's eyes opened wide when he saw the half dozen horses in the distance.

"Go, get out of here. Make it to the ranch as fast as you can by way of the river. I'll make sure they see me and follow me instead of you. Now go!"

Cat slapped Cochise hard on the rump and he took off at a swift gallop. She urged Rebel out into the open where she could clearly be seen by the group and waited until Little Joe was hidden by trees.

The men soon spotted her and headed in her direction. Cat immediately swung her mount around and kicked him hard to ride for the boundary and relative safety. Rebel was fast and he'd had a light morning. She knew she could outrun them.

She made it back to the strays still well ahead of her pursuers, but where was El Toro? Checking quickly, she realized to her dismay that the bull was gone again. She pulled Rebel up on his haunches and looked behind her. That dumb animal had followed her when she rode to Joe. The riders reached the bull and circled him.

She couldn't lose such an animal. She had to get him back. Cat lined up the marker trees with her hands. The riders by following her had actually crossed over the invisible ranch boundary. This didn't put her in any less danger, but it made her in the right.

She loosened her rifle and took the loop of leather off the trigger of her pistol. She clicked to Rebel and approached the riders.

"That's Ponderosa beef and you're on our land," she said with more confidence than she felt.

"Well, looky here. A whore on horseback."

Cat flinched at the insult, but she stood her ground. She'd heard worse, much worse.

"I'm taking this animal back to the herd," said Cat gamely.

"She's the one who was with Cartwright in the canyon. Killed one of our innocent hands."

"I say the bull's on our land, whore. What'cha gonna do about it?" said the largest man who seemed to be in charge.

Cat had long ago stopped giving these ranchers the benefit of the doubt. There were as crooked as they came. "You know that's not true. I've got six more hands just over that rise. I just have to fire one shot and they'll come running."

"You might be dead by the time they get here."

"Maybe," she said slowly, "but I'll be on Ponderosa land, and you'll all hang for murder," Cat said with venom in her tone.

"What say we let this bull go and see where he leads ya?"

The larger man laughed, positioned his horse behind the bull and shot his pistol several times in the air. The bull bellowed and took off in the direction in which he was pointed, over the Trewin boundary. El Toro disappeared behind a deep gully shortly beyond the invisible line.

"Doesn't look like any help's comin!"

Cat felt sweat trickle down her back. She couldn't follow the bull. She'd be shot down in cold blood.

"Boys, put away your guns. Let's allow the little lady to get her bull."

Cat looked at the man who spoke. He was at the back of the group and was better dressed than the rest. Perhaps he was in charge.

"You'll have to excuse my boys, Ma'am. Their manners aren't the best. Geoff Trewin at your service."

He pushed his horse forward. Cat didn't trust him a wink.

"Just to be neighborly, I'm gonna let you get that bull this time. But if I see you on my place again, there'll be hell to pay." He smiled evilly and rode up close. "You've got five minutes to get that animal off my property or he'll be barbecue, understand?"

"Yes." Cat didn't think she could trust him, but what choice did she have?

"Now go!"

Cat hesitated until the group put up their guns, spurred their horses and rode off in the direction they'd come from. She heard an angry argument that surprised her.

"Why did you let her go, Pa?"

"She's Cartwright's woman. We don't need that heat on us just now."

She couldn't believe his comment, but she didn't have time to think about it. She wasn't going to hang around any longer than necessary. None of the hands were actually with her; she was alone.

She took the chance and galloped Rebel toward the gully. Early when riding to Little Joe she'd taken the flatter route to the south of the ravine, but she didn't have time for that now. Rebel wasn't the best jumper in the world but the gully was only a few feet deep. They reached the lip of the rise and Rebel gamely took the plunge into the steep washout.

Cat leaned back in the saddle, giving the horse his head. The next second was the longest of her life. What she saw beneath them made her blood run cold. Hidden in the crook of the gully wash were several huge, loosely raveled rolls of barbed wire. Rebel plunged straight into them.

No time to react, no way to avoid it, Cat kicked her boots free of the stirrups. Rebel twisted beneath her, launching her into the air as the big stallion went down. She heard his horrific scream as she sailed through the air. She watched the ground come up to meet her and tensed as she hit hard.

Cat's bones took the impact but she rolled clear and came to a stop several feet from the tangle of wire. Rebel's screams reverberated through her and forced her to forget her pain.

She scrambled to her feet and stared in horror at the mess her horse was in. Hopelessly tangled in barbed wire, Rebel thrashed, trying to kick his way free. He failed and only resulted in becoming more entangled.

Cat rushed to help him. She needed to keep him calm then try and get him out. Over her shoulder she heard the murmur of loud voices. The gang of riders had doubled back and were watching her, laughing.

They must have known the wire was there. That's why he'd let her get the bull. He'd hoped she'd take the short cut to get away fast. The bull had somehow avoided the bed and was standing off to one side. She watched the gang with sheer hatred as they turned their horses and rode out, continuing with their laughter.

Turning her attention back to Rebel, she noted the bleeding gashes appearing on his hide. She talked in low tones, tried to calm him. With no regard to her own safety, she climbed into the nest of wire to try and free him. Cat felt the barbs tear at her clothes and flesh and she too got tangled, but she ignored the pain. All that mattered was getting Rebel loose.

Minutes passed like hours as she worked to free him. Rebel's eyes rolled as he became more and more trapped and frightened. Horses couldn't take a lot of stress. Cat took little notice of the barbs as she moved around, trying to pull away the wire. Rebel's legs were the worst. The amount of blood overwhelmed her. Full of fear, she started to realize that she couldn't free him alone. But she couldn't leave him either; she had to keep him calm. She needed a miracle. The men were a long way off but maybe they'd heard the Trewin's gunshots.

Rebel screamed again, twisting and kicking out. He clipped her with a hoof to her leg, but still Cat remained firmly at the horse's side. Sweat was now mixing in with the streams of blood.

"Cat, Cat!"

She looked up. Did she hear right? Adam's strong, deep voice reached her again. All her angry thoughts at him left her as she answered his call. "Adam!" Cat felt a little of the terror drain from her body.

She lay down close to Rebel's neck, stroking him, speaking calming words. "It's okay boy, help's here."

"Cat!" he called again, much closer this time.

"In the gully, hurry! But don't ride over the edge!"

She heard the thunder of hooves. Several riders topped the rise and stopped above her. In the centre was Adam on his tall chestnut. "Help him," she yelled, tears flowing unchecked down her face.

Adam couldn't believe his eyes. Cat and her horse lay at the bottom of the ravine tangled in a huge mess of barbed wire. Cold fear hit him like a hammer. She was bleeding all over. The horse, also covered in blood, screamed and thrashed beside her.

He forced his legs to move and dismounted, unsure if he could even stand for a moment. But, his strength in a crisis rarely deserted him. He and the men ran to the portion of the gully where the wire didn't reach and scrambled down.

"Cat, don't move. We'll get you out! Boys, put on your gloves. We'll approach the wire in a circle. Start pulling it down and away. Has anyone got pliers?"

"I have, boss."

"Good Hank, give them to me. We'll get Cat out first."

"No, Rebel needs me to keep him calm otherwise he'll die of fright," she said shakily.

Adam heard the determination in her voice. He also heard the fear, not for her own safety, but for her animal. She probably didn't even realize she was hurt. Damn fool woman!

He scrambled toward her, watching that he didn't get tangled on the way.

"Cat, move away from him," he said steadily. Hell, she had cuts all over her face!

"No!" She turned to him, hot tears streaming down her cheeks mixing with deep red blood. "Get him out, he's all I've got, please!"

Adam wanted to haul her out, shake her, and then hold her tight. He wanted to tell her a horse wasn't all she had. He calmed his thoughts. "Lay as still as you can then. We'll cut around you." He said as calmly as he could. "We'll get him out."

She nodded briefly then continued to talk in low tones to the big gray. Adam saw some of the gashes on the horse's flank and legs were bleeding profusely. He didn't look good.

"Jake, where's Hoss?"

"A couple of miles back at the herd."

"Get him. Tell him what's happened and to bring some medical supplies from the chuck wagon."

"Yes, boss."

Adam circled the wire's perimeter, cutting away the tangle. The men moved with him, pulling back the wire inch by inch. A couple held down Rebel's strong legs, trying to calm him and stop anyone from being kicked. Cat continued to hold his head. Slick placed a blindfold on the horse to lessen his trauma. They worked fast but it still took time to peel the top layers of wire away.

"Okay boys, we've got to get him on his feet, quick." called Adam. "When I count to three, we'll all push him up. Cat, you pull his bridle."

"Okay."

He looked at her and tried to reassure her with his eyes. He couldn't stand seeing her so scared and hurt. He knew he couldn't deny his growing love for her was real.

On his count, the group all moved as one, pushing and pulling at the horse. He screamed again and resisted for a moment, until encouraged by the weight of manpower and urgings from his mistress, he stood on quivering legs. Cat was standing at the horse's neck and seemed in shock.

"Good, now let's walk him out of the wire," Adam said as he took over from Cat, pulled on the stallion's bridle and stamped the wire flat in front of the horse. Rebel limped forward, leaving the bed of barbs behind. Nobody cheered. They all knew the horse didn't need anything else to frighten him.

"Okay boys, start to put pressure on the worst wounds. Use your bandannas, anything."

The men surrounded the horse following Adam's orders to the letter. "Hank, take his bridle." In a split second, Adam left the horse and had Cat in his arms. He felt the weight of her body slump against him as he picked her up and carried her clear.

"I'm all right. Let me help him."

"You've done enough. I need to check your gashes."

"I'm not cut."

Adam shook his head at her gruff answer and replied in kind. "You're a mess, De'Maine. Now hold still, that's an order."

She didn't say any more, but allowed him to place her down onto the ground and examine her wounds.

"He might have to be put down, look at him," she whispered in a quavering voice.

Adam tore his gaze away from her shimmering green eyes and glanced at Rebel. Blood streaked his sweaty grey coat and ran in streams down his quivering legs.

"I can't lose him," she whispered in a tiny voice, turning her tear and blood streaked face into his chest.

Adam felt his heart turn over. At that moment, there was nothing he wanted to do more than protect her from the awful thought of losing her special horse. He wound his arms around her and held her tight. "You won't lose him, sweetheart. I promise." The husky endearment rolled easily from his tongue and felt right. "Hoss'll help him. He's the best horse doctor in these parts, you know that."

It was a hollow promise. She probably knew that, yet still he felt compelled to comfort her with it. "Here he is now." Adam watched as his brother dismounted and went straight to the horse, looking him over carefully.

"Wait here, I'll get some ointment for your cuts."

Surprisingly, Cat stayed put as Adam went to fetch some supplies from Hoss.

"How does he look?" he asked his brother as he grabbed some bandages and whiskey.

"I dunno, Adam. He's in a bad way. His legs are awful cut up."

"Give it a good try, will ya?" Adam glanced back to Cat who was watching them anxiously.

"Sure. I know she thinks the world of this horse."

"Thanks. I'm going to take her back up to the house, just in case . . .well."

"Okay."

Adam didn't have to tell Hoss any more. He knew what he was trying to say. He left his brother to it and walked back to Cat.

"Hoss is going to do everything he can."

Cat nodded slowly and kept her eyes to the ground. "Let's see your cuts."

"I can't believe you're having to patch me up again," she said in a shaky voice. "I've spilled more blood on this ranch in the last three months than I have in years."

"Let's hope this is the last time for a while," Adam replied. "Come with me, let the boys do their job."

Cat reluctantly walked away from the main group that surrounded Rebel. Adam noticed she didn't look back again.

He took her back to the top of the gully. Gingerly, he wiped the blood away from her face. He sighed inwardly finding the cuts weren't as bad as he'd first thought. More like tiny scratches, she had a mixture of Rebel's blood on her making her appear worse than she was. There were a couple of deeper lesions, however, one dangerously close to her eye. He cleaned them as gently as he could.

Cat's heavy work clothes and gloves had taken most of punishment on her arms and hands. Torn in places, Adam dabbed whiskey on the worst cuts, then tensed as Cat winced when he touched her wrist.

"What's wrong?"

"Damn that hurts!" she said in a very unladylike manner.

"Let me see." Adam pealed her glove off and rolled her sleeve up revealing red, angry swelling.

"Must have landed on it when I fell," she stated as he probed carefully.

"Move your fingers." She did so one by one. "This might hurt a bit." He felt around the flesh trying to see if a bone was broken. After a few minutes he concluded that it was probably a bad sprain.

He looked up and saw her pale face. He fought his desire to take her into his arms and hold her. He needed to get her away from here and get her seen to properly. Then he needed to get the bastards that had left the wire lying around. Adam's temper started on a slow boil.

"I'm taking you back to the house."

"No, I need to be here," she mumbled.

"You'll do as your told," he snapped. Then he softened his voice, realizing his concern clouded his thoughts. Hoss'll look after him. I want Hop Sing to check you out properly."

He took her good hand in his and walked her over to one of the hand's horses; a quiet roan called Sugar. Cat mounted without protest. All fight seemed to have deserted her.

Adam caught Sport and took her rein, urging his horse steadily toward home. He tried to calm the growing rage inside him, but it was difficult. He knew the wire had been left deliberately. Yet, it was on Trewin's land. Cat had been there in direct conflict with his and his father's orders.

He'd seen El Toro Grande and knew the bull was the reason she'd gone down there, but she knew not to be so close to the boundary without assistance. He didn't want to fight with her any more. He'd come out to to the herd to see her, to hopefully mend their relationship.

"How did this happen?"

Cat remained silent for some time before she answered him. She looked across and saw the barely concealed accusation on his face. He thought she'd crossed the line forgetting his orders. She didn't want him to be mad with her. Did he know about Little Joe?

"How did you find me?" she asked in return, probing for an answer.

"I rode out to the herd at noon. I was looking for you. Then we heard gunshots."

"Why were you looking for me?" She turned away from him and trained her eyes straight ahead in case his answer disappointed her.

"It wasn't important. You didn't tell me how this happened."

Cat debated leaving out Little Joe's part in all this. Yet, she knew the boy had disobeyed orders and had put himself in terrible danger. Adam should know.

"I was up at the ridge top gathering strays, still well inside the boundary. I wouldn't have gotten that close if it weren't for El Toro Grande. He'd broken away from the main herd with several of his harem again."

"Figures, I should castrate that pesky bull."

Cat found a small smile for Adam's reply.

"I'd got them all together when I saw a rider coming across the plain on Trewin land."

"Who was it?"

Cat looked into Adam's eyes, the warmth all but gone and Cat guessed he'd figured it out.

"Don't be angry with Little Joe. He's just a boy."

"At his age I was working as hard as a man."

"Maybe that's the problem. He feels he should be working like that too. I had to make sure he got to safety, but the bull followed me and we got seen by the Trewins."

"Did they threaten you? Who fired the gun?"

Cat wasn't sure how much to tell him. She didn't want to get Adam caught up in a gunfight with them.

"They scared El Toro to make it harder for me to get him. But they did let me get him off their land. I decided to take the shortcut over the top of the gully. I didn't know the fencing was there."

"But they did. They'd put it there." She watched Adam's expression as he churned over the information. "Joe will have to be punished for this."

He rode in silence the rest of the way. Cat felt wretched. Rebel could be fatally wounded leaving her with almost nothing. "I should have been more careful. It was my fault too," she grumbled.

"Hmm. You think I need to punish you as well, huh?"

Cat looked at him, noting the light in his eyes was softening just a touch.

"Are you going to fire me?"

"Worse. Your punishment will be to attend the round-up dance with me."

Cat's eyes widened. Where had that come from? Did he mean it or was he trying to get her mind off Rebel? He didn't give anything away.

"Thanks for getting Little Joe out of trouble," he added, neatly changing the subject. "Although I'm sure he'd rather face the neighbors than me at this point."

"Please don't be too hard on him. He was disappointed about not going on the drive."

"He told you that?"

"Yes."

"Well, he's definitely not going now, plus he's not going to be able to sit down for a week."

"He's just a boy "

" Who needs to listen to orders and realize why they're given."

Cat reluctantly had to agree with him, but she didn't tell him so. Once they reached the corral, Adam dismounted and helped her down.

Adam lifted her as if she weighed nothing. She loved the feel of his arms around her again. She could easily slip her head down onto his shoulder and let him hold her for the rest of the day, but she couldn't do that.

Cat didn't expect her legs to feel so shaky when she reached the ground, and steadied herself against him. He held her close for a few moments, his warmth surrounding her. She didn't want to move.

"You okay? Can you walk?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said after a moment. She'd just wanted his embrace for a little while longer. The heat of his arm slung 'round her comforted her beyond reason. She leaned on him and started to walk.

Too quickly for Cat, they were at the back door to the kitchen of the main house. Hop Sing had his private room off the kitchen. Being early afternoon, Hop Sing was resting. Adam knocked and the little Chinese man greeted them with a flurry of concerned words.

Cat was surprised to hear Adam speak to him in his own language.

"You speak Chinese?"

"Not very well. Hop Sing has taught us all some words, over the years. Joe knows the most."

"Missy Cat come in. Get off shirt. Hop Sing heal."

"I'd better leave," added Adam hastily.

Cat should have felt relieved but for some reason, she didn't want to be left alone. She wanted Adam's comforting presence.

"I'd prefer if you stayed. I don't feel so well."

"All right."

Cat shrugged off her shirt with the Hop Sing's help. She knew Adam had turned away while she did it. She had a full cotton undershirt on devoid of sleeves, a corset and chemise under that plus support binding of her own creation. She'd adapted the underwear to make riding more comfortable. It meant she looked no less clothed than a woman in a firm-fitting dress bodice even with her shirt off.

"Missa Adam, you help me now."

He turned back and seemed relieved Cat was still more or less fully clothed. Of course he would be. She wasn't the petite, pale, attractive type like Virginia or Barker's daughter. Of course he would've seen women with their clothes off. What man hadn't? No doubt they'd been prettier and much more delicately built than she was.

Adam helped mix up a strong smelling ointment and boil some sort of medicine in a pot. Anything to take his mind off Cat's desirable semi undressed state. Her arms, long and paler than he'd imagined, were a mixture of slender grace and strength.

He could see the muscles in her upper arms but they were constructed beautifully, with grace and form unlike the hard lines of a man's arms. The white undershirt she wore clung tight to her body. Her breasts sat firmly against it and seemed bound. He wondered if she'd ever dressed like a woman and let the contours of her feminine figure loose.

Her shoulders were round and supple, yet were wider than most woman's. It suited her and Adam remembered how good she'd felt in his arms: strong, hard to break, yet still very feminine and alluring.

When the mixture was ready, Adam tried to push his lusty thoughts away. He walked over and stood beside her. He put a comforting hand on her bare shoulder as she screwed up her nose with the smell of the ointment. Her warm, smooth skin aroused him more than he'd thought possible.

"Lucky I was wearing gloves." She managed as Hop Sing carefully started dressing her wounds.

Adam watched Cat as she tried not to wince when the unfamiliar herbs stung her open cuts. He could barely control his temper for those who'd harmed her. He kept his hand on her shoulder, steadying her and adding words of encouragement when she flinched.

He'd done the same thing successfully a hundred times before for members of his family.

The Trewin's would pay for leading her into such danger. If they wanted a range war, they'd get it! Whoever did is going to be sorry, he thought with venom.

"Ouch!" She pulled back sharply as Hop Sing started to clean the cuts on her cheek.

"Sorry, Missy Cat, but you hold still now. Herbs bite but not for long."

"Doesn't really hurt," Cat corrected, probably not wanting Adam to think her a sissy.

"Oh, I know, it's just a play for sympathy." Adam said calmly.

He watched as Hop Sing cleaned the cut near her eye and blurted a few angry words in Cantonese.

What if she'd been blinded? Her beautiful eyes would have been damaged for life. At that moment he fought the strong desire to draw her into his arms and hold her again. He wanted to kiss her pain away. He almost did as he moved close to her when the task was finished. To counteract the urge, he scolded her instead.

"You're lucky. You could have taken an eye out. You shouldn't have jumped into that wire."

"There wasn't time to think. Rebel might have cut himself beyond reason if I'd left him."

"I don't know whether you're brave or just plain stupid."

"I know it was a dangerous thing to do, but you have to understand, Adam. That horse is all I've got. We're a team. I couldn't let him die like that."

She hung her head and Adam desperately wanted to take her into his arms and tell her he understood. He also wanted to tell her a horse wasn't the only friend she had.

But he didn't do either. Dark memories hunted him away. He still wasn't sure he wanted to love her. He'd never be able to protect her for one thing. Riding out into dangerous territory. He'd have to make her agree not to do such in thing in the future. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he helped Hop Sing bandage her wrist.

After it was done, Adam thanked him and turned to Cat. "Come on, you need some rest." Adam knew she felt sorer than she let on.

"Okay," she reluctantly agreed.

He helped her put her shirt back on, sliding the shredded cloth over her smooth shoulders. They both got up and walked toward the bunkhouse. Adam noticed she still walked a little unsteadily, and immediately he wrapped one arm around her waist for support. She didn't protest and even leaned into him as they went. His body tingled as they brushed together. He tried to ignore the sensation.

They were almost there when a shot sounded in the distance. Cat froze at his side, all the blood drained from her face.

"Rebel?" she rasped.

She clutched at his leather vest with her good hand, her knuckles turning white from her grip.

"Don't think the worst," he said helplessly, not knowing if the shot had marked her horse's demise or not.

"Why not?" She turned red, tear filled eyes toward him. "Why shouldn't I think the worst. I've had nothing but bad things happen to me for five long years. Why not this?"

He heard the bitterness in her voice and wanted to help wash it away. He also wanted to know about those bad things. He reached out his arms and tried to encircle her.

"No! Leave me be. I can't . . .can't let you see . . .I need to be alone."

Cat disentangled herself and walked defiantly into the bunkhouse. Adam's admiration of her went up another notch. She didn't want him to see her weaknesses. Other women would play on it, even use it to further their cause. Not Cat. She had a lot of pride.

He wanted to go after her, comfort her, tell her everything was all right, but she needed to be alone. He'd respect that. Besides, hadn't he just reminded himself he didn't need to fall for a woman he couldn't protect?

Wanting to know Rebel's fait, he mounted Sport and rode back to the gully. He sighed with relief when he saw the Andalusia still standing.

"Hey Hoss," he called to his brother. "I heard a shot."

"Cat okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She thinks he's not though." Adam nodded in Rebel's direction.

"One of the men found another bundle of wire further down the gully. A heifer was tangled in it, we had to shoot him."

"And the stallion?"

"Still don't know. He's calm enough, but it'll be a few more hours until I know how strong he is and if any of the cuts start to swell."

"Okay, thanks for trying." Adam pulled Sport's head around and pointed toward the neighboring ranch.

"Adam?"

He turned at his brother's voice. "Yeah?"

"You aren't planning to go stir up trouble next door, are you?"

"Why?"

"We don't want to start a war here. We need to get the sheriff about it, not go riding over there all full of anger and get ourselves shot. Isn't that what you've been preaching to Pa lately?"

"Someone needs to pay for this."

"Then we'll work it out when everyone's cooled down, won't we?"

Adam reluctantly smiled. Always the steadying ship, his younger brother was harder to rile than most.

"Will we?"

"Yeah, **we** will. Now, you go back to the house and look after that little gal. If I do have to destroy this animal you'll have to tell her. I won't do it."

"Yellow, huh?"

"Sure am."

Adam sighed. Hoss had squeezed the fight out of him with sensible reason. He calmed somewhat and retreated. He wanted to tell Cat that Rebel was still alive anyway. When he re-entered the bunkhouse, she was fast asleep. Remembering times when he'd needed the Chinese medicines in the past, he recalled they had a drugging effect.

Curled in a half moon shape, she looked like a little girl, younger than her twenty-three years. Adam couldn't resist and leaned down. He lightly stroked her hair with his fingers then tentatively kissed her temple.

Seeing her injured was more than he could bear. His decision about falling in love with her was being made for him. He couldn't seem to stop the feelings that rolled along like a steam train. Yet he still knew little about her.

That wasn't entirely true. He knew she had morals, pride and a work ethic like his own. Cat was courageous, wild but also innocent. That was part of her beauty.

At that moment, he knew his mind was losing the battle with his heart. He thought ahead to the dance in just over two weeks. Would she agree to attend with him? He'd blurted out the most unromantic of invitations earlier.

She probably didn't have a party dress, but it wouldn't matter to him. If she showed up in a sack clear down to her ankles and stood on his toes all night, he knew he'd still find her the loveliest woman there.

"He's going to be all right."

The first thing Cat saw when she awoke were Adam's dark hazel eyes. She relaxed immediately.

"Rebel?"

"He'll be fine. They even managed to get him back to the barn. He'll need to be spelled for a good long while, but Hoss says he'll make it okay."

Cat couldn't hold back her joy. She leapt up from her lying position and hugged Adam hard.

"Thank you!"

"Hey, don't thank me," he said softly against her hair. "Hoss saved him, and Hop Sing used some of his medicine on him."

"You all saved him. Most bosses would've demanded him destroyed straight away. Wouldn't have given him the time of day.

"I'm not just . . .how are you feeling?"

"My wrist is throbbing and I'm stiff from the fall. I think I've got a few bruises in places I didn't realize. She shifted her butt on the hard bed and screwed up her face.

"Want me to look at that for you?"

She darted her eyes up and caught the teasing expression on his face.

"I don't think so, Mr Cartwright." Feeling warm with his closeness, Cat decided to change the subject. "How's Little Joe?"

"A bit sore and sorry."

"What? You spanked him?" Cat, a bit stunned opened her eyelids wide.

"No, actually Pa did. I took your advice and let him talk to him and do what he thought necessary. I suggested grounding and extra chores, but Pa said he needed something stronger."

"Oh!" Cat was silently pleased Adam had passed the responsibility back to his father.

"Truth is, if I'd done that at his age, I wouldn't have been able to sit for a month, let alone a week."

"I hope he understands."

"I hope so too," Adam agreed. "I want you to take the week off. Stay around the yards here. It's dangerous to work on the round up with a weak arm."

"If you want me to."

"I'm sorry about . . .before. About how I asked you to the dance. I'd like very much to escort you, but only if you'd like to go with me. I'd like us to be friends and I'd like to redeem myself in your eyes."

"Well . . ." She sat for a moment, trying to make him believe she didn't know her answer.

"Will you do me the pleasure of attend the round-up dance with me, please?" he asked again.

Of course, there was one thing wrong with going to the dance; she didn't have a thing to wear. She couldn't ask Miss Keith for assistance. Even if she got a dress, would she be presentable enough for Adam to escort? She thought of her large, wide shoulders, her tall form towering over the other ladies. Adam Cartwright might not want her on his arm when he got a look at her in that light.

"Are you sure you want to take me?" she said.

"I'm sure." He smiled which sent a bolt of nervous energy all the way from her head to her toes.

What would she do? She rarely spent anything on herself except when necessary. The only luxury item she indulged in was the French vanilla scented soap her mother used to use. Cat still ordered it in from a special supplier in the south.

But she did have some money saved from this job. It was about time she lashed out and purchased a dress for herself. It wouldn't make too much difference to her final savings at the end of the season.

"I'll go with you," she managed as calmly as she could.

Did he look relieved? Surely he couldn't have been counting on her acceptance.

"You're looking a bit flushed, Cat. What's wrong?"

She felt Adam's hand on her forehead.

"I think you could do with some more sleep."

"Okay." She didn't want to admit that he made her blood heat in ways she'd never expected.

"See you tomorrow. The round-up should be in full swing this week. We'll miss your help."

He got up and left her thinking of the dance and wondering just how a cow hand like her could look presentable at a dance in just under two weeks.


	14. Chapter 14

All you have to do is walk right in there and the shop assistant will take care of everything, thought Cat to herself. It didn't help. She looked at the outside of the dress shop as if it were a stepping stone to the gallows.

"There ain't nothin' to it. You've just got to take the first step," said Hoss. Cat looked at him with a worried expression. She must have been out of her mind to ask for help from a bunch of male cow hands. Yet Hoss had eagerly suggested she go to town to be measured and fitted for a new dress when Cat hinted she might be finally attending a dance.

"It was a nice idea, but I think I've changed my mind. I'll go check on those supplies we were waiting on."

Cat started to climb out of the buck board to scurry away, but Hoss grabbed her determinedly and pulled her in the general direction of the lady's apparel store. Amazing how much strength he had when he wanted to, Cat thought grimly. She resigned to her fate as Hoss led her inside.

It was a nightmare! Bolts of cloth, undergarments, hats and fine attire adorned the space. Two well-dressed lady customers stood at the counter looking through a basket of buttons.

As Cat entered, the ladies turned and gave her a surprised look. Cat wanted to run. She couldn't go through with what Hoss had planned for her. Give her a cattle stampede any day. She wasn't Cinderella material.

At that moment, a refined looking middle aged lady came out from the back of the store.

"Ah, Hoss, I see you've brought Miss De'Maine in for her fitting."

"Yes, Ma'am, just like you said." Hoss shoved Cat forward like a lamb to the slaughter.

"You can make her beautiful, can't you Mrs Dalton?" asked Hoss not too confidently.

"I see what you mean." The woman walked around Cat slowly, examining her intensely. "She'll need a lot of work. All this tanned skin." She clicked her tongue in a scolding manner. "This will be hard to conceal. It could take more time than I first thought."

"Don't worry about the bill, Ma'am, Me and the boys are chippin' in."

"Hoss, I told you I'm paying for the dress," snapped Cat.

"Now Cat, we had an agreement. You do the barn chores for a whole month and I pay for your fittin's." Hoss jutted his chin with determination. "You can pay for the dress if you insist, but I'm still going to make sure you have some fancy extras!"

Cat sighed. It was her own fault. Hoss could be just as stubborn as his older brother could.

"How about I do the chores anyway without going through with this foolish idea?"

"Oh no, you're not getting out of it that easy. I want to see you all prettied up."

Hoss frowned with determination; almost as if he knew it was for Adam's benefit. But he couldn't know about Adam's invitation, could he?

Cat had been so careful not to reveal her true reason for wanting to attend the dance. She didn't think Adam would have mentioned to his family that she was to be his partner. He was always so private with his movements and intentions.

Cat sighed with resignation. There was no point arguing. It wasn't such a big deal anyway, was it? She just wanted to go to a dance without looking like she'd just crawled out of the back of a bunkhouse, that was all! She looked at the woman and decided to give in.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"This fitting will take at least a couple of hours or so. We'll need to do another at the end of the week and then one more next Tuesday. By then, I should have to make only minor adjustments."

"You'll have it ready by the dance?"

"Oh yes. Mr Cartwright, you can run along now."

Yes, Ma'am, said Hoss quickly."

"Now Cat, let's undress you and see what kind of a figure you have hiding underneath all that buckskin!"

Hoss went beet red and scurried out of the shop.

Cat winced. It was going to be a long two weeks!

"Tomorrow night's the big night, the fall round-up dance," Hoss said as Cat tried to concentrate on her chess pieces. He was sitting on the edge of the hearth in the parlor of the main house, and Cat was seated in a brown leather chair alongside it. The chessboard lay between them on a wooden table.

"I don't even know if I feel up to going. This wrist is still giving me trouble." Cat faked a pained expression and flexed her arm.

"Oh yeah, and I suppose that's because you were lifting full water buckets with it this afternoon."

It seemed Hoss wasn't about to be fooled quite so easily. If she couldn't trick him, she certainly wouldn't be able to fool Adam.

"Thing is Cat, seeing as you're not goin' with **anyone in** **particular**, I thought you might be able to help me out."

Cat looked suspiciously at Hoss. What did he mean and how much did he know?

"You see, Cat, he's sweet on this real haughty young gal," explained Little Joe from the dining table where he was supposedly doing his homework. "He wants to make her jealous so she'll agree to let him court her."

"I hardly think I'd be the one to make any girl jealous," said Cat dryly.

"Oh, I don't know, big brother seems quite taken with you," said Hoss in a low tone so Joe couldn't hear.

Cat felt the blush creep up her face. "I can't accompany you, Hoss. I already have . . .an escort," she whispered.

"Ah ha, so he did ask you, huh?"

"Just play chess!"

"Sure."

"Hey, you two cookin' up a plan there?" called Little Joe.

"Nope, none of your business baby brother," said Hoss with a satisfied smile that soon faded.

"Check mate!" Cat sat back and Hoss looked down at the board, outraged. Little Joe chuckled madly.

"She's got you again, Hoss. I made that only, let's see..." he looked across at the grandfather clock. "Only twelve minutes."

"Well, why don't you try her on then, if you're so smart?" Hoss folded his arms and leaned back.

"Sure!" Joe started to get up, then a warm, rich voice sounded from the front door.

"I wouldn't bother if I were you, Cat. You'll defeat him before he sits down. Besides, he's got to finish his homework. I promised Miss Jones you'd concentrate on your school work this year."

Cat's cheeks flamed more. Adam had arrived home and set about pulling off his hat, black gloves and chaps - in that order.

"But I might be able to give you a run for your money," he continued, surprising her.

She watched him strip off his various items of clothing from out the corner of her eye, as he aimed a smug look at Joe who hated being told what to do by Adam or anyone else.

The removal of his chaps for some reason caused a wild reaction in the pit of her stomach. She'd witnessed men doing that task a hundred times, but somehow Adam's movements caused her to feel hot all over. She recalled the day they'd got their chaps tangled together. Heat claimed her cheeks as she turned away and reset the chess pieces.

"Don't open your mouth too soon, big brother." Hoss got up and stretched his arms above his head. Cat looked away from both of them. "She's mighty good at this game."

For the last few nights, Hoss had been giving Cat a few basic barn dancing lessons. Afterward, he'd invited her into the house to play checkers and chess, but Adam had been away.

With Cat on restricted duties, she hadn't seen a lot of him since her accident with Rebel. He'd been busy working on the round up and preparing for the fall drive. She'd done light duties around the main buildings, both keeping tack up to the crews and assisting with Rebel's recovery.

Adam walked over to the fire and took Hoss's place on the hearth. "Best of three. Loser rides drag," he said as he looked up and gave Cat a mischievous arch of his brows. Her skin tingled as he looked at her. Why did he seem more and more handsome to her, especially when he was in a good mood?

"Loser rides with the tenderfoots for how long?" she asked.

"A week."

She frowned. He was so sure of himself. "Three days," she countered. Cat wasn't stupid. Adam had a very sharp mind, and she was out of practice. Besides, in recent weeks her brain hadn't managed to function very well whenever he was close by.

"Got you rattled already?" Adam rubbed his hands together and turned the board around so he had the black.

Cat lost the first game in just under half an hour, but the second took much longer to decide. Hop Sing played host and fetched coffee and cake for everyone.

One by one the Cartwright household gave up waiting for a result and went to bed. Cat struggled hard with her concentration. Adam was a very good chess player as she suspected he would be.

Over two hours later, long after the rest of the family had retired, Cat lay down her king. She was finally cornered.

"I concede," she sighed.

Adam, who'd shifted to sitting on the rug with his long legs stretched out under the coffee table, looked up at her with triumph.

"Never thought you'd admit defeat."

"I don't usually, but " She looked down at the board where only three of her pieces remained standing. " It's kind of obvious."

"Good game. You had me on the run there for a while," Adam said as he packed away the pieces. It was quiet in the cozy room except for the crackle from the fire. Even Ben had turned in by this, although he too had enjoyed watching them play from his red leather chair.

"I'm rusty. I used to play with my father."

Adam looked up with keen interest in his face. "Tell me about him."

She looked into the fire, debating silently whether she wanted to talk. In the end, she admitted she did. Somehow with Adam, talking about her family didn't seem so scary. "He was a big tall man, almost as big as Hoss. Handsome, strong and very opinionated." Cat watched for a reaction, but Adam stayed impassively quiet. "He was French. He and Maman both were. They came out to America from the Loire region of France before I was born."

Adam nodded; the look on his face told her he was slotting a piece of her puzzle into place.

"Do you speak French?"

"Yes, although I'm rusty now. He taught me to speak it when I was younger, but Papa insisted on speaking English most of the time. He said if we adopted a new country, we should adhere to it's ways."

"And you have brothers," he prompted.

"Yes, four." Cat turned away and took comfort in the jumping flames. "I . . .had four brothers."

She felt the intensity of Adam's gaze but he didn't press her.

"They were like you and your brothers are with each other. Men to admire. To me, they were good, honest men. I loved them. One was my twin brother."

"Are they all . . . passed?"

"Yes." Cat wasn't ready to tell him how she'd lost them. She hoped he wouldn't push her.

"What about your mother?"

"She died when I was about three, in childbirth."

"The baby too?"

She nodded. "I would have had a little sister."

"I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter now. None of it matters. They're all gone."

"Can you talk about what happened?"

Cat sighed and thought about dredging up the terrible sequence of events of five years earlier.

"No, not . . .yet. Maybe one day." She forced the memories in. She looked up and into his eyes. They locked their gazes and Adam's softened.

"I understand."

She knew he did.

"It's late, I should let you get to bed," he said gently.

She looked across at his kind expression and almost lost herself in it. "Oh, yes." She stood up and stretched. "I guess I'll dream about my three glorious, dusty days at the back of the herd," she said to lighten the mood.

"Don't feel too badly. You might even up the score before then."

He stood up in front of her and for a moment, their eyes caught. Adam's hazel ones twinkled in the light of the flickering fire. The tender side of his personality shone through. Her stomach fluttered with his closeness.

"Ready for the dance tomorrow night?" he asked as his hand captured her fingers gently.

"I . . .I'm not sure."

"How are the dancing lessons going?"

"I'm not. . . haven't . . ." Cat's protest petered out. He knew more than he appeared to.

"I'm looking forward to it, and to dancing a nice, slow waltz with you." He winked and drew her hand up to his mouth. He lightly kissed her palm.

"Goodnight," she said softly. "Thanks for the game."

"Goodnight."

Cat's palm tingled where he'd kissed it. The anticipation of the weekend ahead was almost too much. Nerves jumped inside her like frogs in a skillet. She decided to make a quick exit.

"Wait." Adam followed her to the door.

"Yes?" She turned as she reached the doorknob.

"I just wondered...I mean, how's your wrist healing?"

"It's still a bit sore." Cat hoped he might want to kiss her goodnight, or was that too wild a suggestion?

"Then I'd better help it along." He lifted her other hand, the bad one, and delicately kissed first her fingers, then her palm and then her wrist. The tender pulse point jumped to life and Cat shivered visibly.

Spooked by her strong reaction to him, Cat tugged her hand free and hastily retreated out the door.

"Goodnight," he said huskily as she crossed the yard.

"Night," she offered in a dry, nervous tone. She wouldn't get a wink of sleep thinking about the slow dance that Adam had promised her.

"I'm sorry, Cat. He wanted to tell you himself, but he had to ride out before dawn."

Cat felt like a fool, a plain, ugly fool at that. Adam had never really wanted to take her to the dance. Why would he? Now he'd backed out.

"I understand, Hoss. These things happen."

"He had to go to the rail head. The lumber contract was in trouble "

" I said, I understand. I didn't care if I went with him anyway. I planned on going alone all along," she lied.

"I was hoping you wouldn't want to do that."

She looked up into Hoss's blue eyes.

"What I mean is, that offer I made you last night about going with me was real. I've been trying to get Betty-Sue's permission to call on her. She's the girl from the bakery in town."

Cat nodded weakly, numb inside.

"Anyhow, I need to make her jealous so she'll agree to see me. I was kind of hoping, seeing as how Adam won't make the dance now "

" I don't think so. I might just skip this one out."

"But you've got that new dress and all, and I'd sure appreciate it."

Cat felt lower than she'd ever felt. Adam could've told her himself if he wanted to back out of their arrangement. Using some problem with a lumber contract as an excuse not to go to the dance with her hurt more than she cared to admit. Why had he bothered to seem so keen about it? She swept the disappointing feelings into the corner of her mind where she kept all the others.

He was probably also worried about how she'd be turned out. And why not? She felt concerned herself. Well, no need to worry any more. He wouldn't be there. What did it matter if she looked like something the cat had dragged in from the barn?

Feeling flat and devoid of joy, she might as well agree to help Hoss. After that, she'd concentrate on thinking about going home. She'd paid good money for Mrs Dalton to make a dress for her. After the drive, she'd be leaving the Ponderosa and Adam far behind anyway. She'd be going back to Arizona to face her demons all alone. She'd do best to remember that.

"Okay, I'll go to the dance with you."

Hoss smiled, patted her head like an obedient puppy and walked off grinning.

Cat sighed. It was time to go into town to be dressed and prepared for the dance. Something she'd secretly been looking forward to all week.

Not anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

Adam cursed over and over as he pushed himself and his horse to the limit. He'd ridden Sport hard all morning in an attempt to get to the railhead by noon. The horse had responded and he'd made excellent time. Then, he'd argued and negotiated like a desperate man to get the problems with the lumber contract ironed out quickly.

When he succeeded, he turned and started the ride home. Even though Sport was easily the fastest horse on the Ponderosa, Adam was careful not to run him too hard on the return journey. He took frequent spells, letting him walk and canter alternatively. Adam should have returned with a fresh mount, but he didn't like the idea of leaving his favorite horse with the rough gangs building the railroad.

He'd felt lousy all day knowing he'd miss taking Cat to the dance. But, because he'd pushed the limits, it now seemed he might just make it back to the ranch by early evening; still time enough to change and get to the dance before it finished.

He hoped Hoss had managed to talk Cat into going without him. Problem was, she'd probably be madder with him than a nest of hornets. A small smile crossed his face. He loved to watch those green eyes of hers turn dark with rage. He liked the idea of trying to turn her anger into passion.

He felt bad about leaving as he'd done, but he'd had to depart before dawn. Telling Hoss was the quickest solution. He knew deep down she'd been looking forward to it, as had he. He clicked to Sport and urged him to pick up his pace again. The horse responded eagerly even after his long day's work.

As he rode, Adam chewed over the small scrap of information she'd told him about her family. She'd lost them all. How could that have happened in such a short space of time? Had they been struck down by illness? Or maybe they'd been in an accident of some sort. He'd like to know more, but he didn't want to push her. Something so terrible as losing your whole family wasn't something you shared easily.

Adam made it back to the ranch just after dark. Giving his tired horse a grateful pat, he left him in Will's care and raced inside. The house was empty except for Hop Sing. Somehow he'd anticipated his arrival and had a steaming bath all ready for him. Everyone else had long ago gone to town, including Joe.

Once he'd put on his Sunday clothes, Adam went back to the barn and chose a fresh mount. The moon wasn't very bright, so he'd have to go slow. Even so, he should get to the dance before most people left. He sure hoped he'd be able to make it up to Cat and give her at least one dance.

"She looks incredible!"

"Fantastic."

"Can't believe I'm seein' it with my own eyes."

"Hoss, pass me that smelling salts, will ya. Think I'm going to pass out."

"Ha, ha, very funny, Little Joe. I'll have you know I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life," said Cat from the back of Mrs Dalton's dress shop. The heckling Cartwright brothers lined up to see her emergence from the dressing room. "This corset's killing me. Not to mention the sharp pins Mrs Dalton's poked into my hair. And this bustle feels downright unnatural."

"Catherine, dear. One shouldn't talk about ones unmentionables with men in the room," scolded the woman whom Cat had found out had attended some fancy finishing school in Europe.

"Sorry, Mrs Dalton."

"Cat, have you even looked in the mirror yet?" asked Hoss with wonder.

"No, I know I'll scare myself."

"Go look!" squeaked Joe with excitement.

Cat rocked precariously on the narrow healed boots she'd been forced to wear and approached the tall peer glass. The others followed, waiting to gauge her reaction to her appearance.

Cat first thought she was looking at a stranger. The dress was spectacular. The gown, constructed of varying shades of green brocade, faille, satin and lace, flowed around her and cascaded all the way to the floor. The bodice and front section of the skirt were made of green satin that matched her eyes.

A smooth cuirass bodice showed off her height and the curves that she'd been hiding forever. Long silk sleeves with lacy edgings made her arms appear as slender as any ladies, and a plunging V neckline showed more skin than she'd ever revealed in public before.

Fortunately, Mrs Dalton had filled it in with pale green netting to hide the tan line from her throat and also to protect her modesty. It gave the hint of alluring bare skin yet effectively covered it at the same time.

The uncomfortable corset underneath pushed upward, giving Cat's figure an hour-glass shape that she'd never realized she had. Fortunately, Mrs Dalton had made her a soft cotton chemise to wear underneath the ridged garment to ensure it didn't chafe.

Cat self-consciously smoothed her hands down her front amazed at the feminine line created by the garments she wore. Her waist, pulled in by the corset and bodice, was surprisingly small. Cat couldn't breathe as deeply as she usually did, but the result was amazing. Then, a full skirt of green flowed out from there. Layers of brocade and fancy scalloped lace in darker shades of green hung from the top of the skirt.

Cat turned and raised her eyebrows at the way her crinolette bustle pushed the material up and out behind her. Not as pronounced as some Cat had seen, Mrs Dalton boasted that the understated look was the newest trend from Europe, and that Cat would probably be one of the first in town to wear one. She'd been told it complimented her height much better than a more pronounced cage bustle. Cat didn't have a clue what a cage bustle was, but by its name, she felt sure it had to be worse than the kind she had on.

Cat's long, wavy auburn hair had been piled on her head, held with ivory combs adorned with tiny green ribbons. Mrs Dalton's niece had painstakingly curled tendrils of her hair and trailed them down around her cheeks and nape. The style softened her facial features and made her look very feminine.

Mrs Dalton had then applied a powder of some sort to her face and skin to blend her tanned tones and sun freckles. She'd been told it wasn't good for a lady to look anything but pale, but with Cat out in the sun so much, they'd given up trying to hide her color completely.

Fortunately, most of Cat's visible cuts and scratches from her accident were healed. The powder had also served to cover up the one that still showed below her eye.

All in all, the overall effect was stunning. Cat finally admitted that she looked like a lady.

"Every man there is gonna to be impressed," said Hoss smiling into the pier glass behind her, as Cat came to terms with her transformation.

"But, I'm still me underneath." She whispered with concern.

"Cat, you'll sweep 'em all off their feet. You've been doin' real well with the dancing lessons. You just have to believe you can do it is all," said Hoss who came around and stood in front of her. "You'll do fine. I'm looking forward to having the best lookin' gal in Virginia City as a partner."

"Thanks, Hoss. I do appreciate your help, all your help." She looked at Mrs Dalton, her niece Gracie, and Little Joe.

"We'd better start for the hall," said Joe. "We don't want to miss anythin'."

"Don't forget, Pa said you had to go home with Doc Martin right on eight o'clock, Joe."

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled the teenager.

"Right, you ready, Cat?" asked Hoss.

"I guess so. Just pick me up if I fall down in these horrible boots.

"You couldn't have those ugly wide healed riding boots underneath, Cat. You'll wear these ones in soon enough," said the fussy Mrs Dalton.

"I know, you've told me often enough all week."

"Get going. You want to make an entrance," Gracie said.

"Come on, I want to have the first dance," added Hoss. As they turned to leave, he leaned down and whispered into Cat's ear.

"I've got a feeling Adam would've been mighty impressed with the way you look, too."

Cat's face fell at the thought. She'd never know now. It looked like Hoss guessed that her feelings for his brother were deeper rooted than she pretended. She didn't know what to say, so she just put her head down and concentrated on walking in the huge evening gown. Hoss steadied her with an arm around her waist as they walked.

As they got closer to the town hall, butterflies roused in Cat's stomach.

"I feel sick."

"Just take a deep breath and relax."

"No Hoss, I really do feel sick. I can't go through with it."

The lights from the party spilled out into the street ahead. Laughter and music filled the air.

"Come on, just think of it as a new job. Going to a dance can't be more scary than facing a new boss can it?"

"Oh, yes it can." Cat's frightened eyes searched Hoss's blue ones for encouragement. They reminded her of Adam's eyes, a different color but just as intense. That calmed her somewhat.

"It's like this, Cat. When I'm scared of somethin' I just rush right in. I try not to think about it. Can you do that?"

"Okay." Her voice was as weak as a kitten's mew.

"Boy, you're so different from that wildcat on the range." Hoss laughed as he held her arm tightly as they approached the double entry doors to the Virginia City Hall.

"Here goes nothing, Cat, you ready?" asked Hoss.

She took a deep, unsteady breath. At least Adam wasn't here to witness her humiliation. That was something.

"Ready!" she stated with more confidence than she felt. Cat tipped her nose in the air and stood straight and tall.

This was it.

With Hoss on her arm, she swept through the entrance of the simple country town hall as if she was entering a grand European ballroom.

Ben almost choked on his brandy. Hoss walked by with the most incredible looking young woman on his arm. Yet, at second glance, he recognized her; it was Cat! He couldn't believe it. She was the loveliest lady at the dance.

He noticed most of the single men were staring at her and pointing. When Hoss left her side, they surrounded her, asking for dances. Ben could hardly contain his shock. He quickly looked around for his eldest son but didn't spot him in the crowd. Then he remembered he'd sent Adam to the railhead when they'd heard of the problem there. He frowned at his careless order. Had Cat been expecting Adam tonight?

Her appearance in such a striking outfit must have been for Adam's benefit. Ben, certain Cat felt more for his son than she let on, felt guilty for sending him away on urgent business. If only he'd known. Wanting to find out more, he approached Cat and parted the group of males that circled her.

"Cat, I hardly recognized you. You look lovely."

"Thank you, Mr Cartwright. Do you like my dress?" She turned around, smiling hesitantly like a young girl experiencing her first taste of unexpected attention.

"I certainly do, and I would be honored if you would allow me a dance."

Cat caught her lip between her teeth.

"Like I'm saying to others, I'm not that good of a dancer. I'll more than likely stand on your toes."

"That's quite all right." Ben chuckled at her worries and led her out to the floor. Fortunately, the music changed from a wild square dance to a traditional waltz.

Ben led her slowly around the floor so it wasn't too difficult for her to follow him. Even so, her movements were stilted and she kept glancing down, seemingly frustrated that she couldn't see her feet under the billowing dress.

"So, what made you come along tonight? You usually don't attend the dances."

There was a lengthy pause before she answered.

"I . . . promised Hoss I'd come along to try and make Betty-Sue jealous. I think I was a poor choice for him though."

"Oh?" Ben looked around and noticed that Hoss was dancing with Betty-Sue that very minute. "Looks like your plan's working."

Cat glanced over and smiled, albeit a touch sadly in Ben's opinion.

"I'm glad."

"Seems you're making more than one woman jealous tonight."

Cat gave him a puzzled stare. "Me? I don't think so."

Ben smiled at her refreshing innocence. She really didn't know how beautiful she looked and how the other woman were looking at her with daggers in their eyes.

"It doesn't matter how I dress, it's still me under underneath this garb." She smiled widely and her voice tinkled with self-amusement.

Ben laughed along with her.

"Shame Adam's not here. I'm sure he'd enjoy dancing with you."

"Enjoy being stood on? No," came her strained reply.

"Despite what you think, he's very fond of you, you know. And I think you are of him also. Might you have come to see him tonight?"

Cat didn't answer. She kept looking at her feet, then promptly stood on his foot, causing him to stumble.

"I'm so sorry. I don't really know why I came along at all."

"I know why."

She snapped her head up, a worried expression in her eyes.

"You wanted to dance with Adam, didn't you?"

"I . . ."

"I'm sorry, child. I sent Adam away on business. He argued, but I made him go. If he'd reminded me the dance was on "

" You sent him?"

"Yes. I didn't realize. He's never minded before, but now I know why he was so mad at me this morning. If only he'd learn to open up," Ben said more to himself than Cat.

"I think you're mistaken. I'm sure he felt relieved he didn't have to bring me," she mumbled sadly.

Ben looked at her fallen face. So, Adam had gone so far as to **ask** her to the dance. It made him feel even more guilty.

"You care for him, don't you?"

"I . . .I'm thirsty, can we get a drink?"

"Of course, my dear." Ben didn't say anything more. He could see right through her thinly veiled disguise. She had feelings for Adam. He wondered just how deep they ran.

Cat, startled by Ben's questions, tried to stay calm. He'd hit a nerve. What if he guessed her true feelings for Adam? He wouldn't approve of a woman like her falling for his eldest son.

Ben got her some punch. Then, she made a hasty retreat from him, saying she needed some air. She walked out the front door and down the side of the building. There were a couple of bench seats around the corner in the darkness. She decided to sit for a while before she tackled the dance and her feelings again.

Adam arrived and looked around the crowded hall. He couldn't see Cat or any members of his family. Due to the warm conditions, the party had spilled far beyond the walls of the building. Laughter reined from the gardens beyond.

Feeling hot, tired and frustrated, Adam got some punch and drank deeply. Several ladies fluttered their fans when he walked by, but he didn't want to dance with any of them. He felt lousy for having let Cat down. Why hadn't he asked Will if she'd stayed out at the ranch? She might have been there all along. He could have enjoyed a quiet game of chess with her, perhaps found out more about her family and her past. He didn't want to be at the crowded dance if she wasn't here. He walked toward the rear of the hall, parting the sea of revealers as he went. He leaned by the back door, debating whether he should just go home or stay awhile longer.

Adam wondered what Cat would look like had she come. The hall was filled with ladies dressed in every color of the rainbow: Yellows, blues, pinks and reds. Cat would look good in all of them, but he had a feeling she'd look best in green; a shade to match her eyes and contrast with her dark red hair.

At that moment, Adam looked up and saw a vision by the front door. His mind played tricks with him as he imagined Cat dressed exquisitely in silks, lace and brocade. Adam blinked. His image didn't move. Cool green eyes framed with coils of dark red hair held him captivated. A long, slender neck led to a womanly figure even he didn't think Cat possessed.

Adam rubbed his eyes and looked away. The hard, long day must have made him more tired than he thought. The punch, probably spiked, was playing tricks with him. He sighed sadly and retreated to the garden in an effort to clear his head. Wishful thinking wouldn't make Cat appear as he wanted.

"Hey Cat, what's the matter?" Hoss sidled up to her. She stood frozen near the front door, still staring at the spot where Adam had stood.

"Nothing," she managed in a tight voice.

"Did one of those cowboys try somethin? One of those Trewins?"

Cat shook her head sadly. "No. Hoss, Adam's here."

"He is? Great! Wait until he gets a load of you."

"He's already seen me." Cat fought the sadness welling behind her eyes.

"And?"

"He snubbed me. Looked straight at me and turned away. He's obviously not too impressed."

"I don't believe it."

"It's true."

"I'll go get him. There must me some mistake "

" No! No, don't bother." The music started up again. "Oh, this is that fun dance you taught me where you spin around. Can you dance it with me?" Cat tried to be cheery and forget about Adam's rejection of her.

"Sure thing, Cat. Let's dance."

Ben was just in time to watch Cat's popularity soar. After her reel with Hoss, she'd been in demand for dances from countless young men. She did as best she could, but she managed to stomp on quite a few toes. Ben chuckled quietly to himself, as the men didn't complain at all. They were all polaxed by her beauty!

Oh, how he wished Adam was here to see her.

"Hey, Ben. Did you see Adam?" asked Hoss. "Roy Coffee said he saw him out the back somewhere."

Ben turned to Hoss, surprised. "No, I didn't know he'd made it."

"Looks like he did. We need to get him in here. Cat's getting way too much attention from them other fellas."

"I think you're giving her too much attention also, Hoss Cartwright."

Ben smiled at the complaining woman at his son's side. Nothing like a bit of jealousy to ruffle a woman's feathers.

"You simmer down, Betty-Sue, otherwise I might just go dance with her again."

Ben tried not to smile at Hoss's tactics. He just hoped he didn't overdo it.

"I think you're right, Hoss, I'll go find him. Nice to see you again Betty-Sue."

Ben moved to the rear of the hall. He rubbed his hands together. He finally had a chance to play matchmaker for one of his children and he fully intended to do a good job of it. He went outside and found Adam sitting alone in the dark on the garden seat.

"Adam?"

"Oh, Hi Pa." Adam looked up but because of the darkness, Ben couldn't see his face well.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?"

"Just felt like some fresh air. It was a hot tiring day."

"Son, I'm glad you made it. I'm sorry I made you go to the railhead today."

"Doesn't matter. I got the job done."

Ben heard the clipped tone in his boy's voice. A tone he'd heard far too many times in the past few years. Although in the last few weeks, he'd heard it less. Could that be because of Adam's growing love for Cat?

"The party's in full swing. You're missing out on the best dances sitting here."

"I don't really feel much like dancing. I'm not sure why I came after today. It was a hard ride there and back. You go in, have a good time. I think I'll head home."

Ben sighed quietly and sat down beside Adam. His eldest certainly had a stubborn streak. Could be moody too. Could he blame him? He'd lumped so much responsibility on him at an early age. Ben wished a lot of things in their lives could have turned out differently, but in the end, they had to make do with what life had dealt them. And he had a feeling Adam had been dealt a diamond in Cat. He had to make sure he knew that.

"Why don't you a least have one dance?"

"No, I don't think so." Adam leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Thinking about anyone in particular?"

"No."

The reply was too quick. "Well son, what would you say if I told you there was a beautiful young lady with green eyes all dressed up and waiting for you to ask her to dance with her. Would you give her that courtesy?"

Adam looked up slowly and frowned. "Who do you mean?"

"Why don't you go inside and take a look? I'm sure you'll spot her easily enough."

Ben smiled wryly, got up and wandered back to the hall. He'd planted the seed and was happy that he'd get the result he wanted.

It was time to take the weight of the ranch back on his own shoulders and give his son some time to himself. Adam needed to find love. Perhaps Cat would be the one to give it to him.

Adam's heart rate increased as he watched his father walk away, a curiously smug look on his face. It couldn't be Cat, could it? He hadn't seen her, or had he? Adam thought back to earlier when he thought he'd seen an imagined vision by the hall entrance. Maybe it had been her! His heart climbed into his mouth as he got up from the garden bench and headed inside to see for himself.

Approaching midnight, there was no sign of the celebrations letting up. Cat felt her body fading. The men, slowly getting drunker and more rowdy, were starting to argue over dances. Women had been giving her the evil eye all night and she was getting sick of it.

Her wrist had started to ache again after all the energetic reels, and her head felt woozy from the punch, which she suspected, had been spiked. Adam had seen her and hadn't been at all impressed. All her work and planning had been for nothing. Hoss had all but deserted her. Her feet hurt. All she wanted to do now was to go home and drown her sorrows in self-pity.

To top off her night, one of the men from the Trewin ranch approached her. He'd been eyeing her off all night. He was one of the Trewin brothers; one who'd been there the day she'd ridden into the barbed wire. She remembered his sniggering laugh and mean black eyes. Someone had called him Charlie.

"Hey, wildcat, it's my turn now. You've danced with everyone else here. I think I deserve a spin."

Cat held her tongue, remembering that she was in good company, keeping her response as polite as possible. "I'm sorry, I've finished dancing for the night."

The man's expression turned dark. His glazed eyes, affected by alcohol, raked over her body, making Cat feel unclean.

"You turnin' me down, lady?" I don't think so. You've made a big show of dancin' with all the other fellas tonight. What's the matter, not good enough for ya?"

"No, I'm just tired. Now, if you'll excuse me." Cat went to walk past him, but he stuck out his hand and hooked her with a powerful grip.

"That's not good enough, lady." You're havin' that dance, whether you like it or not!"

"Let go of me, you brute." Cat jerked her arm, but he had her by her injured wrist. She couldn't get free.

His ominous tone warned her not to do anything too foolish.

"I'm due a dance, and I'm gonna get it!" He pulled her along, jarring her wrist in the process.

"Let go of me! You're hurting me," she hissed, frustrated that in her ridiculous narrow healed shoes, she couldn't kick out and boot him in the backside. By the time he'd dragged her into the middle of the dancers, some of the other men noticed what was going on.

"She's gonna dance with me, whether she likes it or not," he shouted to the gathering group of men. He tightened his grip and roughly threw Cat forward and to the floor.

All hell broke loose as men surged forward and a fight broke out all around Cat. Fists flew and bodies went flying through the air. Cat tried to scramble up and out of the way but Charlie still had hold of her arm. Roy, who was somewhat under the weather himself, valiantly tried to break it up.

It was almost out of control, when all of a sudden, Cat was released from Charlie's iron grip. She looked up to see Charlie being yanked out of the center of the fight and held by the scruff of his neck. No mean feat, as he was a large, solidly built man.

All fighting came to an abrupt halt, as the revealers and Cat looked at the most dangerous looking person in the room. It wasn't Trewin; it was Adam!

He had Charlie Trewin by the neck, literally. As he slowly choked Cat's aggressor, the look on Adam's face was enough to chill the devil. He spoke icy words through clenched teeth, barely in control.

"Touch her again and you'll die right here and now!"

"Okay, Cartwright, just let me go. I won't cause no more trouble. Promise. I didn't mean her no harm."

After a few moments, Adam let him go and dropped him to the ground. Cat then realized that he'd been holding him off the floor as well! The crowd quickly dispersed.

As Charlie skulked away, Adam rushed to her side and knelt down, burning his gaze into hers.

"Are you hurt?"

"No." Cat felt weak. Was this really happening? She took the hand he offered at her elbow. With his help, she stood up and nervously smoothed her rumpled dress, waiting to see what he would do.

Instead of turning away or getting angry with her as she expected, Adam let go of her arm and gently took her hands in his. The moment when his fingers wound with hers was one she would never forget. Not speaking, he led her away from the others. The band started to play again, trying to get everyone to resume the dance. Adam took her to a far corner where the lighting was dim, smiled at her, then enfolded her into his arms.

Cat's limbs froze; she shivered. He was close, so close. His hard body brushed against hers as they started to move to the slow waltz. He pulled her to his chest, ensuring her body connected with the heat of his torso.

Cat dared not to look up. She was struck with fear and desire all at once. The last five minutes of her life had put her through every feeling known to her. Now, she was engaged in the most intimate dance of her life and she was petrified! This scared her more than Charlie's physical threats. Cat looked down, trying to gather her composure.

Adam wound his fingers around her waist and tightened his hold, therefore compelling her to look at him. She did just that and finally connected with his hazel eyes. She shuddered with the intensity of his gaze as he moved his face down close to hers. He rested cheek to cheek against her and whispered into her ear.

"I thought you were a ghost."

Cat didn't understand, but basked in the delicious sensations his murmur caused. His warm breath tickled her ear. She turned her head slightly, innocently touching her lips to the smooth freshly shaven skin of his cheek. She thought she felt his body tremble slightly, and wondered if he was as affected by their close dance as she was.

"Ghost? I don't understand."

"I saw you earlier, at the front door," he said softly. "I thought I was seeing things."

Cat closed her eyes, lulled by the deep voice whispering softly at her ear. She longed to wrap her arms tight around him and lay her head on his shoulder, but she had to remember that she was in public.

"Did I look that bad?" she quizzed hesitantly.

"I thought you were an illusion . . . because you were so exquisite."

Cat's hope soared. Did he really thing her exquisite?"

"I always wondered what you'd look like all dressed up. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you."

Cat blushed as Adam moved his head back to look at her. He still held her close, closer than most of the other dancers.

"I can't dance very well," Cat said, not sure how to respond to such compliments.

"You dance beautifully."

"But I keep tripping," she argued. To prove the point she promptly stumbled. Immediately, she felt his embrace tighten around her waist.

"And that means I have to hang on real tight to stop you from falling. As I said, you dance beautifully."

Cat looked up and started to smile. She tripped again and he pulled her hard against him. Her smile increased to a soft laugh. As if infected by her good humor, Adam's mouth twitched and broke into a half smile. The anger that had adorned his face earlier was completely gone.

"I think you're using my poor abilities to unfair advantage, Mr Cartwright."

"I think you're right, Miss De'Maine."

This time he smiled broadly and Cat felt her knees go weak. How could a man do this to her; make her heart pound, her legs go to mush and her mind cloud?

"Does this mean you really did want to escort me?" Cat nervously fished for information. She needed to know his true feelings.

"So much I could hardly stand it."

Cat's heart soared. The passion and honesty of his statement warmed her. She became bold and answered with her heart.

"I have this strange feeling running through me. It's so powerful." She moved closer to him again, afraid to speak her mind; afraid it was all a dream and she would wake at any moment. Then, he pulled her tight again and spoke softly against her ear.

"I know, I feel it too."

Cat barely noticed that they'd almost stopped moving. She'd all but forgotten they were surrounded by dozens of other couples. Had Adam forgotten too? At that moment, he drew a hand up to her face and lightly caressed her skin. He touched his finger lightly to the fading scar below her eye. His eye's sparkled; the warm, whiskey brown laced with backlit amber from the light of a thousand candles.

She wanted to love this man, wanted to find out and discover what she'd missed in life. For once, she longed to be sheltered and cared for, pampered and protected. Was that so wrong?

Something of her wish must have been relayed in her eyes, for at that moment, Adam wound both his arms about her shoulders and created a cocoon from their surroundings. She wanted him to kiss her badly, deeply. Stirred by strong emotions and made bold by alcohol, Cat molded her body more firmly to his.

"I've been going out of my mind thinking about dancing like this with you," he said gently. Cat trembled with longing as his lips brushed against her ear. She wanted him too, more than anything else. But it was hard for her to say such things out loud. She tried anyway.

"I thought about it too, but I never guessed you really wanted to dance with me, not truly."

She felt his sigh on her neck.

"Trust me when I tell you it's true. I wanted this." He lightly kissed her cheek. "Want this." He kissed it again, closer to her mouth. "And more," he finished as he feathered his lips against the corner of her mouth.

Cat leaned into him as close as she dared in a public place. She drew his head down to hers and whispered into his ear in return.

"It might take a lot more to convince me. Don't tell anyone, but I can be a little bit stubborn," She smiled brightly as he pulled back and broke into another rare smile, searching her expression.

"That's funny, I never would have guessed."

Adam's reply broke the tension between them. Cat smiled back warming to their intimate banter. She raised her fingers to his nape. She hoped they'd share several more waltzes before the dance was through.

And later, on the way to her lodging for the night, perhaps they'd share the deep kisses she longed for.

As they laughed privately, they were not aware of the dark brown eyes watching them from across the room. Ben felt like bursting with satisfaction. The way Adam and Cat were looking at each other, Ben could only smile. He was reliving his own three loves. He felt the ghosts of his wives dance around him.

He still needed them all, and wanted them. Love was a hard thing to lose, but a wonderful thing to gain. He felt very pleased. He turned away, leaving the two of them to their private joy and joined Roy for a drink. The couples dancing blocked his view of Adam and Cat for the rest of the waltz.

Adam smiled when the next piece of music stayed at a slow tempo. He could very easily get used to holding Cat close like this forever. He still couldn't get over how stunning she looked. Even in his wildest dreams he hadn't imagined her this beautiful.

But he knew when she tripped again, looked up mumbled "darn narrow healed boots, some woman ought to have been hung for inventing these," he would have wanted to dance with her even if she'd worn her buckskins.

She'd drawn his smile and rare good humor out with her personality and with her strength and courage, not her finery. He steadied her against him. He couldn't remember being so happy. Not for a long, long time. The music finished again and they stopped near the refreshment table.

"Adam, there you are! I'd almost given you up. Lucky there's several dances left for me."

Adam frowned at the interruption; his smile left as quickly as it came.

"Evening, Virginia," he said reluctantly. "Cat, you remember Miss Virginia Keith, don't you?"

He watched Cat's eyes as they narrowed at the woman trying to butt in.

"Yes, I remember. Good evening."

Virginia ignored Cat's greeting and turned to Adam. "You promised me dances on our last engagement. I hope you haven't forgotten."

Adam recalled the half-hearted promise and instantly wondered how he could get out of it. Before he could make excuses, Cat replied for him.

"You both go ahead. I'm dying for a drink."

Adam's frown deepened as Cat retreated. He hadn't expected that. She didn't even put up a fight for him. His pride took a bullet in the back, as in a moment she was gone leaving him in Virginia's clutches. He continued to follow Cat's progress as she walked, or rather limped over to the supper table and sat on the wide bench behind it. While he thought about Cat, Virginia attached herself to his person and tugged him onto the dance floor.

"Nice of you to put up with her dancing. She's such a thunder-foot isn't she?"

"Excuse me?" Adam glanced down, only half listening to his new, unwanted partner.

"Really, I can't believe you even allowed a person like her near your ranch, let alone put her in your employ."

"Ginny, I'll thank you not to tell me my business."

"Oh, of course not, Adam darling."

He frowned again as she tried to regain her ground.

"But you must admit, having a woman of **her** background working for you can't be good."

"What do you mean her background. What do you know about it?"

"Well, Geoff Trewin told me all about her past. She comes from a family of questionable background!"

Adam bristled at her comment.

"I would have thought you wouldn't be one to participate in idol gossip, especially from the Trewins."

"I didn't at first. But then I checked the information myself. Her family were French, weren't they?"

"So?"

And lived on a ranch near Tucson?"

"Get to the point," Adam replied sharply.

"Oh heavens, don't tell me you didn't know! You really don't, do you?" Virginia batted her eyelids and gave him her best innocent look. "Her entire family were outlaws and were lynched for robbery and murder! And I hear tell they would have strung her up too but for the fact that she was a woman."


	16. Chapter 16

Her comment shocked Adam. He knew Cat's family were all dead, but surely this couldn't be true. His temper grew.

"You should know better than to listen to idol gossip, especially from the likes of a Trewin."

"Not only him, I also heard it from a girlfriend of mine who lives in Arizona. She comes from Tucson doesn't she?"

"So do a lot of people." Adam wanted to defend Cat but how could he when he didn't know the truth?

"Well, if I was you, I'd be checking into her past and making sure nothing has gone missing from your house."

Adam wanted to push Virginia away, tell her to go to take her nasty gossip elsewhere, but that wouldn't be proper at a public gathering like this. She was just trying to bait him. "Cat's as honest as you or I," he argued as calmly as he could.

"I hope she is for your sake." Virginia leaned in closer and whispered up into his ear. "She could be after your money like that other one."

"Don't you dare talk about that!" Adam's anger peaked. The raw wound from Michelle that stayed buried inside him, tore open in his chest. He abruptly dropped her hands and stepped back from her.

"I'm only trying to warn you."

"This dance is over," he growled. Adam turned on his heal and walked away from Virginia.

"But Adam, wait!"

Virginia's voice, already distant, faded into the music. Adam needed air; he wanted to clear his head. In a few angry strides, he reached Cat who still sat on the bench. He tried to abate his temper.

"I'm going outside for a few minutes. Please wait for me."

"Okay."

Adam hated idol gossip, especially about people he liked, maybe even loved. He didn't believe Cat could have come from a dishonest family. He couldn't be that unlucky again, surely. Yet, his skeptical nature wouldn't let it go. Cat's family – lynched? She'd told him she'd lost them all and couldn't tell him about it. How else could you lose so many in your family in a short space of time?

Then he thought of how brave she'd been and how honest. He didn't want to believe the worst. He'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Just like he had done for Michelle. Adam's mouth was dry when he eventually turned to go back into the hall.

A short while later, Cat and Adam meandered down the main street of Virginia City dusted in pale moonlight.

Cat watched Adam pensively. He'd been quiet and distant ever since his dance with Miss Keith. He hadn't asked either of them for another dance. His frown was back, meaner than ever.

A short while later, he'd requested to take her home. Had Adam realized he'd made a mistake with his affections? Their closeness of just a short time ago had dissipated. Even though their arms were entwined, he seemed to have built an invisible barrier between them.

Cat drowned herself in a sea of disappointment as they walked arm in arm along the quiet road. If he preferred another woman after she'd tried her best to be a lady, there was nothing she could do about it. To torment her further, Adam's warm side brushing against hers as they walked made her body tremble with raw sensation.

Adam must have felt her shiver because he immediately removed his coat and swung it about her shoulders. Despite his mood, he was still attentive. Cat brightened.

"It's a little cold out, I should have thought."

"Thank you." Cat reveled in the delicious transition of warmth from his body that the coat provided her. She felt marginally better as he pulled her closer to his side.

They walked on in silence until they reached Mrs Dalton's house that lay behind the dressmaking store. Cat had arranged to stay with her for the night. Mrs Dalton, although fussy, had turned out to be quite sweet and understanding. She'd left strict instructions that no matter what the time it was, Cat was to awaken her and let her know how the night had gone.

"I'm staying here tonight," Cat said after a few minutes of silence. She looked up at Adam and tried to guess what he was thinking. A pensive frown still adorned his face but after a minute, it softened. Adam guided her around to face him.

"I suppose then, this is good night?" she asked softly.

"I guess so," he answered flatly.

"I'll be glad to get out of these shoes, that's for sure."

"You look lovely. I'm glad I was able to see you all dressed up like this."

Cat's heart skipped a beat. "Are you?"

"Yes." A trace of a smile flickered across his features.

"I know there are . . .other ladies a lot more sophisticated and refined "

"-I like this lady just fine." His features softened as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles lightly.

Cat almost melted right there. Perhaps Virginia hadn't undermined her after all. Unsure of what to do next, Cat stared down at the smooth buttons on his dress coat. She wanted him to kiss her properly.

"Cat?"

She studied his throat, fascinated with the quickened pulse under his skin.

"Yes?" Oh God, she wanted to touch him. She wanted to run her hands down along his powerfully muscled chest, feel the heat and strength of him. She swallowed as he tipped her chin up and gazed at her with an expression akin to hunger. He looked as if he wanted to say something important to her, but couldn't. Then he seemed to change his mind.

"Just this," he whispered. She felt the warm breath from his mouth caress her lips. She moistened them in anticipation and felt his hold tighten around her. She closed her eyes and savored the moment his mouth closed over hers.

Cat, still not prepared for the unfamiliar rush of desire it sent through her body, clung onto Adam's shoulders and tried to keep her responses like those of a real lady, reserved. She didn't succeed very well, as the fire in her took over and fueled her courage.

She leaned forward, wrapped her arms about his neck and kissed him back. He responded in kind. When he coaxed her lips apart with his tongue, she willingly gave in and basked in the sharp sensations that darted through her body. The dreaded corset she wore hurt painfully as she tried to take a deep breath between kisses. When Adam broke from her lips and kissed a tender spot below her ear, she sighed with pleasure. She boldly copied him and nuzzled his earlobe with soft lips. She heard a low, very male growl.

"If you keep that up, I'm afraid I might do something we both may regret," he added against her ear.

"I wouldn't regret it," she whispered back. She stifled his reply by delivering a tender, lingering kiss of her own. Adam pulled her tight and returned her passion. His distant mood seemed swept away and Cat's heart sang with the knowledge.

Lost in Adam's kisses, Cat didn't hear the door to Mrs Dalton's store open. Adam did, abruptly broke away from her and took a step back into the shadows. Cat blinked as a lantern was held aloft at the door. Before she could adjust, Adam called a soft goodnight and left her there. Cat, disappointed, watched him meld into the darkness. Probably lucky they'd stopped. She walked to the door, her legs like jelly, her blood racing.

"Looks like the dance was a success, my dear." Mrs Dalton studied what must have been a guilty grin on Cat's face.

"I think so."

As Mrs Dalton helped her undress, Cat told her about her victory with the dress and about the attention she'd received, first from other men, then from Adam. All the while though, she wondered about Adam's dark mood toward the end of the night.

He'd kissed her sweetly and hungrily as she'd hoped he would, but something had been bothering him. Was it Virginia? All she could do was hope that time would allow him to open up to her and tell her his concerns.


	17. Chapter 17

Cat woke late the next morning. Sunlight streamed in through the bedroom window. She rolled over and indulgently wallowed in her memories from the night before. She knew she needed what Adam could give her. She craved his company, strength of character and his trust. But most of all, she knew she craved his love. Cat wasn't afraid to admit it to herself any more. But would he want hers in return?

After having stayed in bed much longer than normal, she regretfully dragged herself out from under the covers. She bathed and dressed in her regular clothes then walked out to the kitchen. Mrs Dalton's cheery humming filled the warm room.

"Quick dear, sit down and eat. You don't have long before you must change. You have to choose a dress to wear to the picnic."

"Dress? Picnic?" Cat blinked wearily at her bright-eyed companion.

"Yes, dear. Mr Cartwright will be by at 11am to take you on a lovely picnic. I'm making my special apple pie for you."

"Oh?" Cat couldn't control the blush that crept up her skin and settled on her face.

"Yes, he's already been down and requested permission to take you out. I said yes. I hope that's all right?"

"Quite all right," Cat answered, stunned by Adam's early morning call.

Just before eleven, Cat paced nervously in her room. She was worried that in the light of day, her regular appearance would disappoint him. She'd been outfitted like a princess the night before and she wouldn't blame him if he changed his mind and made a hasty retreat. After all, Virginia Keith was a true lady. Cat felt like an imitation.

She looked down at her ordinary riding clothes then glanced at the three dresses Mrs Dalton had laid out for her. The dressmaker told her she'd once had a niece who'd been tall like Cat. She'd left behind some of her dresses in a trunk when she moved east. She'd made a couple of alterations and insisted Cat borrow them.

After thinking it over, she donned a comfortable pale lemon day dress that required no corset. Tiny buttons ran down the bodice. It was a nice, loose fit, which suited Cat after the restricting gown from the night before.

Then, to her dismay, she remembered she only had the awful narrow healed shoes or her work boots to wear on her feet. As if reading her mind, Mrs Dalton popped in with a pair of soft tan colored moccasins.

"Cat, try these on. The Indians in the surrounding mountains make them and I have a few pairs. You might find them nice to wear. They'd go beautifully with that dress."

"Thank you, but I'm going to owe you more than I could ever earn."

"They were a gift to me for doing some work, but they're too big for me. They should fit you, though."

Why did Cat get the feeling she'd been set up from the start? The moccasins were a perfect fit. Next, Cat picked up a brush and struggled to run it through her unruly hair. Full of tangled curls from the previous night's style, she again needed Mrs Dalton's help. It took her quite a while, but she eventually got the knots out.

Rather than put it up, Mrs Dalton used a couple of wooden combs and pulled the sides back, letting her hair fall in waves down her back.

"You have lovely hair, but it's not as long as some ladies."

"I have to keep it above waist length, otherwise it's too difficult to manage what with working the cattle," Cat explained.

"Why do you work as a cow hand, dear?"

"I have to. I don't have a family to support me."

"Why not?"

"I . . .they . . .my father and brothers . . .died."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"That's so sad, dear. I'm sorry. Must be hard not to have anyone."

Cat didn't reply.

"There, your hair is finished, it looks lovely out like that. Mr Cartwright will adore it."

Cat wanted to tell Mrs Dalton it didn't matter what Adam liked, but she couldn't. It did matter, very much.

A knock sounded at the door. Cat took a calming breath as Adam entered the room and gave Mrs Dalton a polite greeting. She couldn't stop the fluttering in her stomach as she took in his appearance. He looked more handsome than ever, dressed in a Sunday suit of dark gray.

"Morning, Adam," Cat said as she walked over to him.

"Morning." He turned and looked into her eyes. Cat wondered if he was still troubled. If he was, he didn't show it.

"You look lovely this morning."

But he hadn't even looked at her dress. He just stared into her eyes! How sincere was he?

"You like this dress then?" she prompted.

"Oh," he glanced down briefly, "very nice."

"I thought you said it was lovely."

"Not the dress, you," he said softly so as their chaperone couldn't hear. He took her hand in his.

"Here you are, dears. I've made a pie for the picnic."

Cat, still enraptured by Adam's compliment, didn't acknowledge Mrs Dalton's offering for a moment.

"Go on you two, it's getting late."

"Let's go then. I wouldn't want the day to slip away," he added.

To Cat's delight, he captured her by the arm and led her out of the house and into the bright summer sunshine. The touch of his skin on hers made her body tingle. These feelings could get mighty addictive, she thought.

Cat was thoroughly scrutinized by all the locals as they rode through the center of town in the buggy. The woman's church group, who met after the services every Sunday, was gathered around the town hall. As Cat and Adam passed by, they turned their attention on the couple.

Adam tipped his hat in a cool gesture, while Cat just held her breath. She wasn't used to such attention. It seemed when you went out with one of the Cartwrights it was everyone's business.

Once they were a couple of miles away from Virginia City, she finally started to relax. It was a gorgeous day for early fall - nice and warm with a slight breeze blowing. She felt better about herself that morning than she had in a long time.

Before she knew it, they arrived on the section of the Ponderosa Adam had chosen for their picnic. The time had flown by. They'd chatted about everything and anything. Adam seemed to be relaxed again after his strange mood toward the end of the dance. They hadn't even argued about anything. What a change from earlier in the year!

Adam looked across at Cat as they pulled up. She was much more relaxed now and appeared to be enjoying herself. After lying awake much of the night, he'd decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, despite what Virginia had implied. She deserved a chance to tell him the truth of what had happened to her family. He felt deep down he was making the right decision.

Cat turned to him and gave him a brilliant smile. Her cheeks dimpled and her smile made her look as young as a teenager. Adam's heartstrings were squeezed a little tighter as he smiled back.

He could see the weight of heavy burdens lifting from her mind. He wouldn't push her for information too quickly, but wanted to help her in every way he could. She needed support from him, not unsubstantiated fears.

Adam climbed down from the carriage and rushed around to Cat's side to lift her down. She wasn't used to men doing that for her as she started to get down herself and almost tripped in the cumbersome gown.

"Careful. You might tear your dress then your reputation will be ruined. Then you'll just have to marry me." Adam's comment was meant as a light-hearted jest, but when she smiled in reply, Adam's mood teetered on serious. Adam swallowed.

But Cat kept her answer carefree. "Well, Mr Cartwright, I do declare, I feel faint..." Cat feigned a dizzy spell by holding her arm to her head and leaning on him for support.

Taken by surprise, Adam caught her around the waist and held on tight. When she burst out laughing, he realized she was only teasing him. He joined in with her and laughed heartily.

After a few moments in his arms, he placed her down on the ground. Adam kept hold of her hand as they walked to the clearing to set up the picnic things. It was one of many occasions throughout the day where their senses of humor laced lively discussions.

By mid afternoon, they'd finally eaten everything and consumed most of the wine. They'd laughed until they were sore and had exhausted all the political arguments they could think of. Adam couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so content.

He watched fascinated as Cat made herself comfortable on the blanket. His body tensed as she stretched her arms above her head and closed her eyes to the sun. Adam couldn't resist and bent toward her. She sensed him there, and her lips parted in anticipation of his kiss.

Sweet and warm, her lips tasted like wild nectar. Adam fought hard to control his longing. As he kissed her more and more deeply, he knew he had to curb his urges. It was a long time since he'd been with a woman; he hadn't wanted physical closeness with anyone since Michelle.

He remembered the night he'd looked at the stars around the camp fire. He'd watched her crawl into her bedroll and he'd dismissed a deep yearning in his soul as loneliness and fatigue. Now he knew it had been her and his reaction to her. His heart had figured it out long before his brain did. Had had fallen in love with her just like he'd suspected.

He pulled back reluctantly and sighed with frustration as he watched her eyes plead for more. "Ah Cat, I can't resist you."

Cat didn't answer him. She felt nervous, shy. Adam was so confident and had probably survived many love affairs. She recalled Will's story about him loving a woman who was only after his money. She didn't really understand why he was attracted to her. It was almost unbelievable after their rocky start, but while he kissed her she could let her mind be swept away by the magic of it all.

"I like it when you . . .kiss me," she whispered timidly.

"Do you?" Adam raised one of her hands to his mouth and gently kissed the tips of her fingers one by one. Cat nodded and watched him as he continued to hold her spellbound.

"Yes," she answered bravely.

"I love it when you tell me what you like." Adam smiled and again moved close to her mouth.

He kissed her again at what began as a leisurely pace. Cat let a tiny submissive moan escape her throat. This encouraged him further. He kissed her lips, chin, cheeks, eyes and throat in quick succession.

Cat's body was on fire and he'd barely touched her apart from the kissing. Adam kept his hands firmly to her sides. Cat had a feeling that if he started to caress her body, she wouldn't want him to stop. At that same moment, Adam pulled back and sat up. He turned away, picked up his wineglass and drained it.

Cat watched him thoughtfully. What was he thinking?

Adam had to get his mind off making love to Cat. He couldn't do that while she was lying so seductively on the blanket.

"Come on, let's go and walk along the lakeshore for a while," he said. "I want to show you something special." He held his hand out to her and she took it.

They walked hand in hand along the lake's edge for a while, enjoying the peacefulness of the water and the beauty of the surrounding mountains. Even though it was only early September, the water was already icy cold.

"The lake reaches depths of miles. The water is some of the most pure on earth," he told her.

"Well, I think I'll just have to test that!" She reached down to drink from it. Adam enjoyed watching her as she sipped the water from her hand.

He showed her Sandy Cove where as a teenager, he'd often taken his brothers to swim and play. He even reverted back to his childhood for a moment, and skipped a rock out over the flat calm water. Not to be outdone, Cat chose a flat stone and managed a good job of skipping hers as well.

"I'm impressed, Miss De'Maine. You've had a very thorough education."

"My twin brother taught me," she said as she looked wistfully at the water. Adam stored another tiny piece of information about her into his memory.

Eventually, they returned to the picnic spot and packed up the things. It had been a wonderful day and Adam didn't want it to end, but he knew it must. Tomorrow, they'd return to work and the round up. He had to keep his growing feelings in check in front of the crew.

That night as he tossed and turned in bed, Adam finally admitted to himself that he wanted to ask Cat to be his wife, but his mind was tripping over the question. Even though he felt deep down that Cat was his destiny, he couldn't find the courage to put his request into words, not just yet. The question about her family was in the back of his mind. He didn't want to make a mistake like he had with Michelle. He needed to know the truth before he fully committed.

And what if her family had been outlaws? What then. He sat up and looked out the window. The three quarter moon lit the yard enough to see the shadow of the bunk house where she lay sleeping. And what if she was the daughter of a robber and murderer? Could he live with that?

Cat couldn't sleep either. She had tried hard to come up with the right words to say to him when they parted for the evening. Their companionable silence comforted them until they reached the house.

"I suppose I'd better get an early night tonight. My first day back on the job tomorrow after the accident." Cat smiled at him and gathered her things from the back of the buggy.

"You don't have to go back " Adam started.

"To work? I can't wait," Cat intervened, then spoke seriously. "Let's just give it time and see what happens," she added. Adam thought about that for a moment, and then nodded his head.

For the first moment in a long time, Cat felt sure of herself. Her confidence from days gone by began to emerge and she believed that the special feeling between the two of them would only grow stronger.

"Besides," she said. All this sitting around playing chess while I've been laid up has corrupted me. I need some exercise." She raised a cheeky brow and Adam nodded wryly.

"I could think of some really good exercise," he added and rounded the wagon to approach her. Cat laughed and the light mood between them returned.

Annoyingly, the ranch hands chose that moment to return from town interrupting their game of physical chess. Cat smiled goodbye to Adam and turned to go.

Adam didn't like watching her enter the bunkhouse, but what else was appropriate? If he took her inside the house he'd want to start kissing her again, and his father would definitely not approve of that! He gathered his composure and his authority as the men entered the yard. They all called a greeting to him as they came in. He asked Will to put away his horse and buggy and reluctantly went inside the house.

During the week, everyone worked from sun up to sundown. Adam and Cat rode side by side, talking about all sorts of things while they worked, and shocked the men by not arguing even once all the way through to the following Saturday.

Of course they had a heated discussion or two over varying points of view, but overall, they were very well behaved. Hoss, Joe and Ben looked on with keen anticipation. They knew this relationship was serious but none of them wanted to push the point. They felt sure Adam would get around to asking for her hand in his own sweet time.

The couple tried as best they could to avoid intimacy. Trying to steal a moment together was far too difficult and improper while working.

Cat visited with the Cartwrights in the evenings but they kept a measure of respectability up even around the family. They didn't even steal a kiss outside in the moonlight when it was time for Cat to return to the bunkhouse. A dozen sets of eyes from every direction were always on the lookout trying to catch them unawares. It was almost a game with the men now. Cat longed for some time alone.

When Saturday came, Cat chose to spend Saturday night in town at Mrs Dalton's again. Adam took her to dinner at the International Hotel, then afterwards to the Opera House where a visiting company of players was doing a series of comedy skits.

During dinner and the play, they sat close together and spoke intimately. They held each other's hands and touched their bodies deliberately together when they walked. The tension between them was high. When the play finished, they walked hand in hand along Main Street enjoying the mild night air.

As they walked, Adam pulled Cat closer to his side. She went willingly and soon their arms were around each other's waists. She longed for his kisses again. She'd had sleepless nights all week just thinking about their next encounter. She also desperately wanted to open up to him about her past. She finally felt she'd found someone who would understand and help her with her pain. Maybe she'd work up the courage to tell him tomorrow at the picnic Adam planned to take her on.

As they'd done the week before, they ended up outside Mrs Dalton's house and shop. This time though, Adam pulled Cat into the shadows beside the house. He put a finger to his lips for her to stay quiet. Ladies like Mrs Dalton had incredible hearing when it came to noises around the house. Cat kept her silence and eagerly awaited his kiss.

Adam tugged her against him and they wound together in a heady, hungry embrace. They'd stored up so much tension during the week they could hardly control their desires.

Cat was fast learning the heavenly art of kissing and she met Adam's passion with equal intensity. Their tongues merged and danced together erotically. Cat pressed her body against his and felt his hard need for her. She smiled against his lips as he gave into his hunger a little more and let his sensitive hands roam along her body to her breasts. She sucked her breath in sharply as his exquisite touch created an entirely new set of emotions and reactions in her body and mind.

"Cat . . ." Adam moved to her ear and pulled the sensitive lobe between his teeth. She mirrored his action and at that moment, they froze, knowing they would lose control right then and there if they continued. It was enough to bring them back to earth. They ceased their caresses but stayed wound together just holding each other for a long time. Adam closed his eyes as Cat rested her head on his shoulder.

Adam didn't want the moment to end, but he heard the inevitable. The latch on Mrs Dalton's door turned and they listened to her curious voice call out.

"Cat dear, are you home?" Cat sighed into Adam's shoulder. She wanted to stay in this position for the rest of her life. She felt so safe. But, she reluctantly thought it was hardly practical. They kissed gently as they moved apart. They seemed to know what the other was thinking which was both intriguing and scary.

"I'll pick you up early." Adam sprinkled a line of kisses along her cheek to her temple.

"I'll be waiting. Can we go to the lake again?" Cat turned to him and demanded one more burning kiss, which he gave eagerly.

"Anything you want."

"Anything?" She questioned as they walked back to the light.

"Anything."

For a moment, Cat thought she saw a glint of moisture in Adam's hazel eyes, but then he smiled, winked at her and withdrew into the balmy night. She sighed with contentment and went inside. She'd see him in her dreams.


	18. Chapter 18

**_NOTE: Cat's backstory has changed in this version. I had written another scenario for a non-bonanza story that fit and I always preferred it to the original one I had written. It doesn't change the main story but I feel it does add an extra dimension to Cat's character. Later on it does add an additional chapter as well. I hope those that read the original also like this version. Caz_**

Adam took her to the lake the following day for another picnic. Once again, Mrs Dalton did them proud and packed a picnic basket that would have put Hop Sing to shame. After lunch, they both relaxed back on the blanket and drank in the picturesque surroundings. Cat rested her head on one of the soft pillows Adam had thought to bring, and gazed into the brilliant blue sky.

Adam leaned back on his elbow to watch her. Cat had been quieter than usual. It was as if she'd been thinking about something very important. He was too. He wanted to know about her family. He needed to before he could admit his hopes and dreams for the future.

"Cat, I've been wanting to ask you something but I don't want to upset you or get you mad."

"It's such a beautiful day," she turned to him and smiled. "You couldn't upset me."

"I'm asking because I want to know you better. I want to . . .understand what you've been through in the past."

Cat's smiled faded. She turned her eyes from him and looked up at the sky again, her face pensive.

"I can't understand anyone who doesn't love the land," she commented, changing the subject. "Nature gives us so much. It's like a precious gift we can never replace. It's always there."

"We're only caretakers," Adam offered.

Cat sat up and rested her chin on her knees while looking out at Lake Tahoe. "I wonder in years to come will the Ponderosa still be the same?"

"It's too beautiful to ruin," Adam said. "I can't imagine anyone destroying this deliberately if I or my family have anything to do with it."

Cat frowned. "But you can't always control what happens. Not always."

"Cat, what I wanted to ask-"

"-I know what you want to ask me," she said flatly. "You want to know what happened to my father and brothers."

"I don't want to upset you, but I do think it will help you to talk it out."

Cat took a deep breath and sighed. "I've been wanting to tell you. I guess I needed the right time and place. It's not that easy to explain."

"Take your time," Adam said and poured some wine into a tin cup for Cat.

"Can I ask you something in return?"

"Of course."

"Can you let me tell it in my own time? I've never told anyone most of it. You're the first one . . . I've felt I could trust."

She took the cup and Adam felt that her fingers had turned icy cold.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Adam replied. "You take all the time you want." He smiled down at her. Cat met his gaze, her face pale and drawn.

She looked back at the lake. Her story started simply, with her voice no louder than a whisper. Adam took her hands in his and idly kneaded her fingers. He was nervous and didn't know what to expect, especially after the rummer Virginia had spread.

"I grew up on a ranch that was very much like the Ponderosa." She stared out at the lake; her mind drawn completely to the past. "The Saguaro Ranch, north-west of Tucson."

Adam drew a stunned breath. He'd heard of the great ranch. It was bigger in size than the Ponderosa. In fact, it was the largest ranch in the western territories. He was sure his father had even purchased cattle from them in the past. He might have even met her father.

"Of course, my family didn't start there. My parents came out by sailing ship from France ten years before I was born. They settled in New Orleans at first. My father's brother and wife came too. In fact they were the ones who wanted to come. They had all owned a vineyard together in the Loire valley. It had been in the family for generations."

"Why did they choose to leave it?"

"They had several bad seasons. His brother wanted to leave and talked him into coming with him. Papa agreed he'd give him five years. If they hadn't made their fortune by then he wanted to return to France."

"But he never did."

"No, Papa found he loved America. He loved the optimistic nature of the people and the land once he headed west."

"And his brother?"

"Strangely he didn't do as well as Papa. But they stuck together."

"How long did they stay in New Orleans?"

"Three years. My father got a job bringing in wine from France and selling it throughout the Eastern cities. My two eldest brothers were born there."

"Then he decided to head west?"

"Yes, he wanted to travel to see the great mountains like those he knew from France. His brother agreed to come too, so they set off. It took them two years to make it thorough to Flagstaff. They stayed there for a while and my third brother was born. But Pa had heard of great expanses of land still available further west and south, so they started off for Phoenix a few months later."

"It's a huge journey crossing this country," Adam reflected.

"When they got south of Phoenix, he saw the Santa Catalina mountains and fell in love with them. I was named from them," Cat said with a little smile. "Papa staked out a land claim and gradually built it up. It wasn't wine country of course, but on the journey he'd travelled with cattlemen from back east. He'd learned a great deal and decided that's what he should try."

"My uncle on the other hand, refused to change and he tried growing grapes from original vines they had nursed all the way from France.

"How did he go?"

"The crops failed. After three years he admitted defeat and sold most of his land to Papa. He moved to Phoenix and for several years they didn't speak much."

"Was he resentful of your father's success?"

"I might have said so, only he came back when I was little and they became close again."

"And then you came along?"

"Yes. My twin brother and I were born after Papa had been on the ranch for five years. As I told you before, my mother died when were were still small, so I don't remember her."

"So you were the only girl."

"Yes. My father tried to raise me as a lady but I wouldn't have a bar of it. I wanted to match my brothers in everything they did."

"That explains it," said Adam wryly.

"My father, Francois, was a giant man with a heart of gold. Ben reminds me of him so much. My eldest brother Henri was dependable and easy going." She stopped for a moment and nervously smoothed her rumpled skirt. "The next eldest was Louis. He was the rowdy one, the fighter of the group. Hot tempered. Then came Olivier. You remind me of him."

"And how is that?"

"Serious and strong. A good man to have on your side." She smiled and Adam felt his heart melt a little.

"Then there was my twin brother, Jean. We looked nothing alike but we were close in temperament. We were always together. He was always egging me on when we tried to match our brothers."

"But you were a lot younger."

"Didn't matter. We fought for our place."

"Just like Little Joe's fighting now."

"Yes, exactly," Cat laughed.

"No wonder you take his side." Adam found himself smiling too. It seemed as though she'd had a ideal life. How could it have changed so much?"

"As I got older, I was determined to be just as good as my brothers in everything I did. I learned to ride, rope, round-up and work just as hard and as well as them. If I fell off a horse, I would keep getting back on until I never slipped up. Or if I did I did my best to make sure none of them saw it."

Adam absently caressed her shoulders to try and relieve the building tension.

"Everyone respected my father." She stopped and looked up at Adam. "He was a wonderful man, Adam. Truly wonderful."

He saw her need for encouragement and leaned over to her face. He planted a small, loving kiss on her cheek, then drew her into his arms. She went willingly, then after getting settled against his chest, she continued with her story.

"My father loved the ranch. It was his life and he never remarried. He said he didn't feel the need. I think we were everything to him and the ranch was his love. We were so close, so tight knit." She swallowed nervously, then continued. "Life could not have been more perfect."

She stopped talking and Adam didn't interrupt the silence that had fallen between them. He knew she had arrived at the time where everything had gone wrong.

Cat's mind emptied of feeling. It was had to go back, hard to think of that painful evening. She wanted to tell Adam but how? She closed her mind to visualise it. She could remember the smells, the sounds and the horror. Could she relive it again? She forced her memory to go back in time.

Cat lit the last candelabra on the ornately carved Spanish dining table. She frequently looked out the window watching for her father and brothers to arrive home. In another hour the sun would start to set. She glanced over at the fresh pine Christmas tree in the corner of the large parlor that adjoined the dining room. Christmas was her favorite time of year and she couldn't wait to trim the tree and sing Carols with her family that evening.

"Seniorita, would you like the special wine from France opened tonight?"

Cat smiled at their Mexican housekeeper. "Yes, thank you, Consuela. They should be home soon."

"I hope so. I have cooked a feast for them! Those men will be hungry, I know."

"I should change," Cat declared, realizing that she still had on her rough riding clothes. She raced up the wooden staircase two at a time to her bedroom, completely forgetting the promise to her father to try to become more lady-like. Cat was almost seventeen now he'd argued, and at the age where she should be showing signs of womanhood instead of gallivanting around on a ranch like a man. She'd simply smiled at him and promised to try.

From the second story of the house, Cat had a magnificent view over the Santa Catalina mountains. Her father had often told her how it reminded him of the French Alps. She longed to visit her parent's homeland one day, but Cat couldn't imagine spending more than a few days away from her beloved ranch.

Moments later out her bedroom window Cat saw a group of riders approaching. Recognizing their mounts she knew it was her family and squealed with delight. She hastily pulled on the mint-green dress Consuela had sewn for her especially for Christmas and tried to redo her unruly, long Auburn hair. It's waves refused to be tied up into a lady-like knot, so in her frustration, Cat just let it loose to fly around her shoulders and down her back. Jamming her feet into the delicate slippers that matched her gown, Cat raced back down the stairs and to the front door.

Her father, Francois De'Maine, led the group on his Appaloosa. He blew Cat a kiss from the front gate, which she returned with gusto.

The four young men riding behind him in staggered formation waved their hats and whooped a familiar greeting. Anyone watching would have guessed they'd been away for weeks instead of only three days.

"Papa," Cat cried as he halted his mount at the hitching rail to the side of the house and dismounted.

"Catherine . . .child, you look beautiful!"

She leapt into his arms and laughed. "I'm wearing a dress, aren't you proud?"

"Very, darling."

"Hey sis, is that really you under all those skirts?"

Cat poked her tongue out at her eldest brother, Henri.

"I think she looks dandy," claimed Louis.

"I should challenge you to a horse race right now," said Jean. "I bet you can't win riding with that dress dragging around your ankles."

"I bet I could!" Cat exclaimed with excitement. She would have raced off to the barn had her father not held onto her arms.

"Not so fast, Cat. You promised to act more like a lady, remember?"

"Yes, Papa." She planted a kiss on his weathered cheek, left him and ran over to Olivier. "Did you see the stallion?" she asked him, her green eyes wide with wonder.

"Yes, but we have decided he is too much trouble for you."

"Too much trouble?" Cat pouted her lips and frowned.

"Considerably," said Francois in a firm tone. "Now boys, let's take care of the horses so we can go in and wash up. It's Christmas and we have much to celebrate and give thanks for."

The De'Maine men led their horses toward the first of two large barns. Cat dragged her feet behind.

"Too much trouble . . .for me?"

A short while later the family sat down to a Christmas Eve supper fit for kings. They dined on a mixture of Mexican and French dishes. Consuela took pride in the fact that she had mastered some of the tricky recipes she'd found in an old cookbook Cat's mother had brought out from Paris with her many years earlier.

"Consuela, you have excelled yourself!" declared Henri as she fussed around the table.

"Thank you, Senior. I enjoy cooking for you all."

"I wish you'd eat with us, at least for Christmas."

"Oh, no, Senior Francois. I tell you before, it wouldn't be right." She hurried off to the kitchen.

"Cat, darling, do not be so glum about the stallion. There will be another more suitable horse for you soon enough."

"But Papa, he sounded magnificent."

"He was, but far too highly strung. Unpredictable."

"I thought him proud and wild," said Jean. "But Papa was right, he wasn't the mount for you."

"You would all wrap me up in wool blankets if you could," challenged Cat. "There is not a horse in this county I couldn't ride or train."

"Come on, let's trim the tree." Being the diplomat, Olivier changed the subject and got up from the table.

Cat's mood improved as she thought of the fun night to come. But, as they moved into the parlor, she was stopped by the sound of approaching riders. Not just a few either, it sounded like a herd!

"Who could that be at this hour of the evening? The sun is going down." Francois crossed to the front door and went out to greet the visitors.

"Probably a group of the townsfolk going around singing Carols," exclaimed Louis.

"I'll go get a tray of eggnog in case they are cold," Cat said, excited by the thought of Carollers at her home.

While in the kitchen, Cat heard the faint voices of her father and another man. She waited for the singing to begin, but silence fell. She cheerily carried the laden tray into the dining room and headed for the front door.

Suddenly, that door flung open and her brothers ran inside. Cat barely had time to frown when her father followed. He flung himself inside the house and to the floor. He stuck his foot out and slammed the door shut as we went.

Cat screamed as a torrent of bullets shattered the window to her left and hit the cups on her tray, smashing them into a million pieces and spraying their shards into her skin like tiny daggers.

"Cat, get down!"

Frozen with fear, she stood motionless as heavy gunfire rained terror through the broken windows.

"Down!"

Cat felt her dress being pulled from behind. Then, in an instant, she was on the floor like a roped calf. Henri had wrenched the material from behind, almost tearing it from its seam.

"Are you all right?" He crawled over to her and turned her over. "You're bleeding!"

"I . . .I'm okay. Just the . . .china. What . . .what's going on?" She lifted her hands to her ears to drown out the gunshots.

"Don't know. It's the sheriff. He's gone mad!"

"Papa!"

"Stay down, darling," her father shouted over the thunderous noise. "You'll be alright."

"How dare they shoot at us, for no reason!" yelled Jean. He got to his feet and ran for the gun rack.

"No" yelled Francois.

But Jean didn't listen. He loaded a rifle and ran to the open window. He started returning the enemy fire. But the attack on the ranch house doubled. Bullets began to penetrate the doors and walls. They shattered mirrors, the china cabinet and it's treasures, the grandfather clock and even the rails of the stair banister splintered and flew around them.

Cat lay flat, her cheek strangely cool against the redwood floor. She panted with fear; her eyes shut tightly. It seemed to go on and on for hours. She heard Consuela scream from the kitchen, unclear as to what had happened to her.

Then she felt the floor beneath her face tremble.

"No!"

Her father's sickened cry snapped her back to attention. She raised her head and recoiled with horror. Her twin brother lay motionless on the floor beside the eastern window, the spent rifle slack in his still hands. Francois scurried along the floor to him and wailed with grief.

"Stop, you bastards, stop! You have killed my boy! I'll do as you say!"

The deafening silence was even worse than the attack. Cat's ears rang. Her entire body trembled involuntarily. The air lay thick with the sharp smell of gunpowder and splintered wood. Her stare remained frozen on the body of her dead brother. Through it all she could still hear the labored ticking of the stricken grandfather clock.

"Come out with your hands up. No weapons, Francois. You should have listened to me before."

Cat recognized the voice of the town sheriff. What in God's name had happened? The sheriff had only ever spoken to her father with admiration and friendship.

"My girl's in here. Don't you harm her."

"I won't, as long as she comes out of the house with no guns. I'll give you ten seconds."

Louis, Henri and Olivier got to their feet and looked to their father. He nodded gravely. Cat gasped when she saw blood coating Louis' shirtsleeve.

"I will go first." Francois let go of Jean's shoulders and rose stiffly. "If we do what they say, we'll be all right."

"Papa, what has happened?" Cat didn't recognize her hoarse voice."

"A misunderstanding it seems . . .a terrible one," he replied as he opened the door and walked reluctantly into the yard.

"All of you, that's it."

Cat felt the cold steel of a rifle prodding her along as she exited the house last. Her legs moved forward; how, she didn't know.

"Hold the girl over there." The man behind her roughly grabbed her wrists and dragged her to the picket fence surrounding the house garden. She gazed around her and counted at least fifty men, maybe more. Her jaw dropped as she knew most of them. Friends, neighbors, lawmen she'd known her whole life.

"Why are you doing this?" she cried.

"Shut her up, Rory. Or she'll be treated like the rest of 'em."

Cat felt the hard sting of Rory's hand across her face. The hit jarred her neck making her dizzy and nauseous.

"You said you wouldn't hurt her," Cat heard her father yell. She received a second blow to her other cheek and jaw.  
"That's enough, Rory," said the sheriff.

Cat fought hard to stay conscious. She leaned against the fence and took several deep breaths. Voices became jumbled to her ears and she lost track of what was happening.

"Here, have some water." A hand cupped her neck from behind and steadied her. She felt a canteen spout against her lips and she sipped the cool water gratefully.

"Thank . . .thank you." Cat glanced at the person beside her. He was a young man, not much older than she was. Tall and thin, a mop of brown hair covered his brow and half hid his blue eyes.

"What's happening?" she slurred, her head still not right.

"You don't want to know, Miss." You'd best just look away."

"I . . ." Cat, feeling better, turned back to the main group of riders. She squinted in the fast fading light. Bile rose in her throat. Seated on four horses, her father and remaining brothers had nooses around their necks. The ropes were tied to the iron entranceway that told travellers they were entering the Saguaro Ranch.

Cat went to scream but the boy clamped his hand over her mouth. He wasn't rough, but was firm enough to stop her outcry.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't hang you right here, Francois," yelled the sheriff.

"I'm innocent, we all are. These charges you talk of are ridiculous."

"You would say that, faced with death."

"Give us a trial then, you owe me that, Jacob. We have always been friends. You should trust that I'm telling the truth."

"With all the evidence stacked against you, I have no choice. It's the will of the people, of everyone here. This is your trial."

"Stop talking, sheriff. Get on with it," yelled a man on a scarred roan horse.

"Yes, yeah!"

Cat paled as the posse started yelling, turning them into an angry mob.

"Sorry, De'Maine. Your time's up."

Cat broke free from the young man's hold as four men on horseback moved behind her family's mounts.

"You can't do this. No!" As she stumbled forward, Cat heard the gunshots that set the already nervous horses bolting. Like a horrific puppet show, she watched the bodies of the people she loved most in the world being wrenched from their saddles, jerked down with weight and struggling sickeningly as the nooses tightened.

"Noooo . . .help, someone, help me!" Cat ran to them trying fruitlessly to lift her father's weight out of the noose.

"What should we do with her."

"Leave her here. Let her clean it up."

Cat, screaming and crying in turn, ran frantically between swinging legs, trying to stop suffocation in its tracks.

Nothing worked.

Exhausted and broken she collapsed into the dirt, held her head in her hands and sobbed.

Some time later, the sound of horse's hooves cantering off made her look down the road. In amongst the last riders to leave, she found the blue eyes of the young man staring back at her from his horse. He'd helped her, but now he left with the posse – as one of them; his expression showed no remorse.

"Why?" she yelled directly at him, hoping for a hint of truth.

He didn't respond; he just bowed his head, turned his back on her and rode away with the others.

Adam sat there stunned. They had been lynched! And by Cat's account it had come from nowhere. She sat on the blanket shaking, her eyes glazed, her broken heart showing it's pain in her stricken features. He didn't know what to say. What could you say about a horrible day like that? Even if her family had been guilty of a crime, everyone deserved to be heard in a court of law. But law and order had been slow coming to the west.

It took me two days to . . . give them some dignity," Cat finally said, her voice strange and broken. "It was like being in hell. Consuela died too. A bullet hit her through the kitchen window. I didn't find her . . . for a while."

"You were all alone? What of your father's brother?"

"He'd gone away a couple of weeks before. I didn't know where. He didn't return. Then I heard him neighing."

"Who?"

"Rebel. I went to the haying barn and there tied up was my stallion. The gift they'd gotten for me for Christmas."

Adam nodded, now understanding the importance of the horse.

"I can't . . .that's all I can tell you . . .for now." She slumped her head between her knees, emotionally spent.

Adam rubbed her shoulders. "It's getting cold. We should be getting back." How had she gotten through the next days, weeks, years? There was much more to know but he didn't want to push her further today.

Cat looked up at him with compelling eyes. "Adam, I know you must have many questions now, but I can tell you something that is absolutely true, and that is my family were innocent. I have spent the last few winters researching what happened, and although I have not yet proven their innocence, I know in my heart they did nothing wrong."

"I believe you," he said sincerely. He took her in his arms and held her tight against him. And he did believe her faith in her family. But were they still guilty? He had to hear more before he would know for certain.


	19. Chapter 19

Adam drove the buggy back to the Ponderosa. Cat sat quietly beside him staring into the Sierra Nevadas. He had so many questions, but didn't want to push. When she turned and looked at him half way home, he smiled to try and lighten her mood. "I hope you'll eat supper with us tonight. And, I hoping for a game of chess or two afterward?"

"Surely you're sick of my ordinary playing by now?"

Adam smiled wryly. "You play very well, as you are well aware."

Cat didn't really answer him but Adam got the feeling she wasn't going to refuse his invitation. He was sure of his feelings for her now regardless of her family's activities. He knew she was honest and truthful. She'd shown him that over the past few months. He didn't need to know anything else to know he wanted her for his wife. But he had to be mindful of Cat's feelings. She was in a fragile state emotionally, so he didn't want to push her. He was happy just to be with her, hear more of her story and hopefully make her feel wanted and secure.

They arrived at the house a short time later. Will came out and took the buggy away for them. Adam took Cat's hand and led her to the porch. Before they walked in Adam turned to her. "I won't mention any of what you told me to the others. Not until you want them to know."

"Thank you." Cat squeezed his hand gratefully. Adam couldn't help himself and leaned toward her. He kissed her softly on the lips. In the distance he heard whooping and cheers coming from the bunk house. He pulled back quickly.

"Come on, let's go inside and get out of their line of sight!"

Cat smiled and nodded.

Like after the night when Adam had found her by the bookshelf, Cat felt unexpectedly calm and peaceful after her purging. She enjoyed supper with Adam's family and listened quietly to their stories of mischief from their day off. They were very welcoming and treated her just like just like any proper guest. She sat to Adam's right and next to Hoss who quickly put her at ease.

Adam had listened to her story patiently and without interruption as he'd agreed. She knew he still wanted to know so much more; she could see the questions plainly written on his face. And she'd tell him everything he wanted to know. She really wanted Adam's support and hopefully his love. She knew that meant telling him everything she could. She knew he was a fair man and wouldn't judge her as quickly as others had her family.

"So Little Joe, I think Adam has something he wants to tell you," said Ben as they were eating desert.

Joe glanced up at Adam.

"What is it, Adam?" The flat tone of his question told Cat he was still sore about the drive.

"I've been thinking, Joe. I really need more help on the drive and the last couple of weeks you've been working well on the round-up. You've really proven to me that you can work under direction, so if you still want to you can come on the drive with us."

"What?" Joe's eyes bugged out in disbelieve for a moment. "Really, Adam?"

"Yeah, really."

Cat looked at Adam and saw his face soften at his little brother's reaction.

"Hot diggity!"

"Joseph," his father warned.

"Sorry, Pa."

"But Joe, you'll be a tenderfoot on this one. You'll have to ride drag, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"That means Cat will be in charge of you for the first few days." Adam smiled smugly at her and Cat wondered if having her lose at chess wasn't all part of his plan to look after Joe, or keep them apart anyway.

Joe gave her a huge grin. "Is that okay, Cat?"

"Sure, but mind you do as you're told. I don't want to get in trouble from the boss, got it?" She smiled and Joe leapt up from the table and danced around.

"My first drive. Cochise will love it! I gotta go work out what to take."

He ran off before Ben could reprimand him about leaving the table before he was excused, but all the senior Cartwrights laughed indulgently as he ran up the stairs.

"Thanks."

Cat felt Adam's hand cover hers and she turned and smiled at him. Her heart fluttered as she looked into his eyes. She felt a blush creeping up her neck as Ben and Hoss could clearly see Adam's affectionate gesture.

"Well, how about some brandy by the fire," Ben said as he got up from the table.

"I've got to treat that cow pony with the split hoof," Hoss announced. "Then I'm havin' an early night."

"Too late a date with Betty-Sue?" Adam asked carefully.

"Nah, she's mad at me again."

"Oh no, really Hoss?" Cat was dismayed to hear it.

"But I had a right nice time with Miss Candy from the general store."

"No wonder Betty-Sue's mad," Ben said as Hoss left the table.

"Come on, let's sit by the fire." Adam, who still had hold of her hand, helped her up and led her over to the couch in front of the fire. Ben settled into his red leather chair and lit his pipe.

"You had a nice picnic today?" Ben asked.

"Very, thank you," Cat replied. Adam had retrieved the chess board but hadn't set it up for a game. He seemed content to sit beside her, her hand still clasped in his.

Ben told them he'd heard that the Trewins had got into a brawl with a group of miners in town the night before, and two of them had landed in jail.

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch," Adam said sarcastically.

"Are you going to play?" said Ben after a while.

"Cat?"

"Sure, as long as it's not for any more time at the back of the herd."

"Deal," Adam said. "I think I can figure out some more interesting stakes than that."

He set up the pieces and they started a game but Cat's mind wasn't really on it. She was thinking about her past and her possible future. Also she knew that one day she needed to resolve the issues from the past.

Ben retired after a while leaving the two of them staring at a gridlocked chess board.

"Had enough?" he asked her softly.

"Yeah," Cat said wearily.

Adam put his arm behind her shoulders, pulling her against him. Cat leaned against his shoulder and settled her head there. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of laying against him. Then, the words started to come again. She kept her eyes closed but started to talk as if to herself.

"The bank cut me off. Pa had the usual loans for improvements and stock but they weren't due to be repaid until the following fall. Even so, the bankers came out to the ranch and called in the debt. They said I wasn't capable of running the ranch on my own, and even if I was they couldn't be seen doing business with outlaws. They gave me a month to pay all debts in full.

The only option I had to start with was selling off the stock. But they got me there too. I couldn't take them far enough away to sell so I was given bottom prices at auction. I got only thirty percent of the money I needed to pay the bank."

Cat felt Adam's hand slowing rubbing her back, making her feel secure and letting her know he was listening keenly to her story. She kept going.

"All the hands left. They were spreading rummers in town that I couldn't pay wages. And after a few weeks that was right. There was nothing to do after a while but start selling land. The least useful at first; the land we were keeping to stop being farmed. It was a watershed plus a wildlife harbor. I had no takers, only terrible offers from the locals. I advertised back east in the hope I would get an investor or someone heading west, but that didn't work either.

Then my Uncle turned up again. He'd been up north looking for silver and gold when he heard about what happened to Papa and the boys. He was really upset but it was long over. There was nothing he could do except offer to buy the land from me at a decent price."

"He didn't offer just to pay the debt?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't accept. I didn't want to wipe him out too. I knew it would be difficult to get the ranch up and running again in a profitable way."

"So he bought the land from you?"

"He'd got a modest return on his prospecting, but not enough. He knew some mining men from up north and got what was supposed to be a loan against the land from them instead. But the loan repayments were crazy and before I knew it they'd taken possession of two-thirds of the ranch."

"That much?"

"I was furious with him. He hadn't let me read the contract saying that I wouldn't understand it. It turned out they wanted the land to develop for mining so they tricked my Uncle into their deal, therefore tricking me."

"You weren't to know."

"I should have seen through it. My Uncle had never done well. He wasn't a good business man like my father. He just didn't trust the right people.

Then everyone was out to ruin what little we had left. With the remaining two bulls and stock, I went to a new bank in town who were prepared to get me out of any further debt with the mining company. But their deal was hard. I had no income without the cattle, but I was prepared to work to pay it off. Therefore, that's what I've been doing these past five years. Working the seasons away from home, trying to hold on to the last thousand acres and the house."

"You've done an admirable job."

Cat smiled faintly. She loved this man that held her so securely. She nuzzled her head against his neck before continuing her tale.

I was so determined never to lose the house and yards. How could I lose the plot my family was buried on? I'd sooner die. Every pay day since, I've sent money back to the bank. At the end of next summer, I'll finally have my home back free of debt."

Cat thought about that statement for a moment and felt the anger build inside her. She needed to let her feelings out about it. She sat up stiffly and looked into the fire.

"I saved the house. But what's the good of it now? It's just a dust bowl in the middle of an old dream. During the last five years, I know I've become bitter and withdrawn. You saw how defensive I was when I first arrived here. I was feeling sorry for myself always thinking I'd missed out on the life I should've had. Been treated like dirt from all our former friends and neighbors. And for what? To save a lousy, stinking, empty house?"

"No, Cat, you did the best you could."

"My best wasn't good enough," she replied cuttingly.

"I don't think I've ever heard such a story of courage and conviction. You've won, don't you see? You've kept the true heart of your family alive. You were fighting because you loved them and the bond you'd had with them was so special. Your father was a great man, and you showed with your faith that you were worthy of being his daughter. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to see the ranch get sold off, but after all, the land will always be there. It's the dream of what your father wanted that should survive with you. You should be proud of what you did. I know, I'm proud of you. Very, very proud."

He turned her tear-streaked face toward him.

"Look on the good side. If you hadn't gone through all that, you wouldn't have ended up here with me." Adam smiled.

Cat felt a cold shiver but had to say her piece. "I have nothing to offer you, Adam. I couldn't succeed with my own ranch. I have a family that was lynched. And I'm not the fair lady that you deserve."

Adam sat back on the couch and looked at her. Now her knew her story, he was totally sure of his heart and his feelings for her and she needed to know them.

"I know I've fallen in love with a courageous, strong, independent woman, who is every bit a reflection of her family's success. You are intelligent, sensible, and the most ravishing creature I've ever been stuck in a mud bog with."

He smiled and hoped he was lifting her spirits. He was, as her eyes began to clear.

"Do you really mean that?" Cat dried her eyes with her handkerchief and looked at him with expectation.

"Well, I think the best way to settle that argument, is to show you." Adam ran his hands up to her face and cupped her chin in his palms. "I love you, Cat. I've been afraid to say it, but now I know some of what you've been through, I can't hold it in any longer." He raised her lips to his and kissed them tenderly.

He skilfully parted her lips with his and explored the supple inner recess with his tongue. Cat opened her mouth to him, wanting to taste his love. He was very gentle with her.

As he kissed her sensitively, he murmured words of love and encouragement in her ear. He pulled her against him again and kissed her more urgently. Adam wanted, no needed her to believe in his love. He really now believed in hers.

But, now was not the time to make love to her. She needed to regain her faith in life again first. He gave her kisses that proved his commitment, which reassured her. Later, he would satisfy the true desire he felt.

After a while, he drew back from her and smoothed the waves of auburn hair from her face. He smiled at her, wondering in her loveliness

"I haven't said it either but . . .I love you too," she said, her voice shaky and breathless. I've known for a while. Since that night."

Adam chuckled at the irony. They'd both been dancing around tender feelings, eager to dismiss them.

"You've got a new family now."

"Really?" Her voice wobbled.

"If you agree to become my wife, I think that qualifies me as family. I'm sure Hoss and Little Joe won't mind gaining a new sister."

"Stop fooling around, Adam." She looked shocked, as if he might not really mean it.

To back up his words, he pulled her tight. "I'm serious!" His dark eyes burned. "Marry me, Cat. I need you. I've never wanted a woman so much. I wanted to ask you last week, but I was worried . . .worried that you might not love me . . .enough. I don't care if you need time to get used to the idea, just tell me now that you will be my wife one day. I'll go crazy if you don't."

She seemed nervous and surprised. He held his breath as she bit her bottom lip.

"Yes, Adam. If you think you can put up with me, I'll be your wife."

He hesitated. Had she really said yes? Did she mean it? Then she reached for him, and drew him against her. She kissed him with passion and feeling. Adam drowned in her kisses, leaving him breathless and emotionally charged. He trusted this. He knew her like he knew himself. This was different than with any other woman. He felt it deep down.

After a while they just embraced and sat quietly. Adam listened to the crackle of the dying fire and wondered at the new direction his life was about to take. Marriage was a big step, and not so long ago he'd have bet good money on the fact that he'd never become a husband or father.

Now, as he looked back, he was thankful for the way things had turned out. It was true; you never knew what could be around the corner in your life. He had a feeling he and Cat were meant to be together, and as she snuggled against him for comfort and support, he couldn't have been happier.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning Adam wanted Cat to join them for breakfast. She was nervous as she so wanted to be accepted by Adam's family. They liked her she knew, but there was a big difference between getting on with an employee and accepting them as a member of the family. Adam's confident smile didn't do a lot to alleviate her fear.

"Pa, we've got something to tell you." Adam said as they walked toward the dining room table. Ben was the only one at the table yet.

"Well, what is it, son?" Ben waited patiently, but Cat had a feeling he knew what was afoot before the words came out of Adam's mouth.

"I've asked Cat to be my wife, and she said yes." Adam blew out a breath he'd been holding in and burst into a wide smile as his father leapt up and rushed to them both, giving him a huge hug.

"That's wonderful, son. Wonderful!"

Ben then smiled at Cat and gave her a welcome to the family hug. Getting Ben's approval was important to her. She'd always been concerned that he wouldn't think her good enough for Adam.

"I'm so happy, Cat. I've finally got a daughter and such a lovely one too. And you, young man, it's about time you asked her." Ben gave Adam a mock frown to which Adam just looked at sheepishly.

"Let's have a celebratory drink!" As they entered, Ben called for Hoss and Joe to come down. They appeared from upstairs and looked expectantly at their brother and father.

"All right, I've asked her and she's agreed," Adam admitted.

"Yee HA!" Little Joe yelped and raced down the stairs two at a time. He hugged Adam and then tried to lift Cat in the air. They all laughed when he couldn't budge her.

"Little brother, you just let me do it!" Hoss followed him up and he did succeed in picking her up and spinning her around. Cat laughed heartily as her worries fell away. It was going to be all right. Adam loved her, wanted to marry her and his family approved.

"Let's have a party!" Joe began. They all laughed, as these were Joe's favorite words of late. This time, though, they had a good reason to celebrate.

"An engagement party! We can invite everyone from miles around," started Hoss.

"Hold on, boys. Let's not run away with it, replied Ben. "What would the two of you like?" Adam glanced at Cat. She nodded slightly, now feeling a little overwhelmed.

"Pa, that would be great," Adam replied diplomatically. "Only, we might talk about it in a few days? We'd like to keep it just within the family for now. I mean, Cat's got to come to terms with what's happened. She's just agreed to live with me the rest of her life."

Cat smiled up at him and the other's all laughed.

And that won't be easy, sis," Joe replied. Cat caught the endearment, and it made her think of her brothers. She spoke quietly and moved closer to Adam, the memory of her confession still fresh in her mind. Still, she felt happy and wanted to sound enthusiastic.

"A party would be lovely," she countered. "Only, Adam's right. Can we discuss it later?"

"Of course, you leave everything up to me," answered Ben.

"Pa, is it all right if I move Cat's things in from the bunkhouse?" Adam looked over to his father. A sharp silence descended as everyone jumped to the wrong conclusion, including Cat.

"Well, son, I . . .er . . ."

"I meant, I want to move her into the spare room downstairs here," Adam quickly corrected.

"Oh, of course, son. Cat, our home is now your home."

Cat smiled but blushed, as she would really have preferred to move into Adam's room. Oh well, at least she was one step closer! And after all, his room was just up the stairs. She turned her green eyes to him and they exchanged a private look of anticipation.

It took only a few minutes to gather Cat's modest possessions and move them into the house. Of course, all the hands wanted to know what was happening and although they didn't let on they all guessed.

"Here you are. Your very own room." Adam looked around at the room he seldom entered. It was on the ground floor, just off the dining room. It was large and pleasant, with a cosy fireplace that backed onto the kitchen. It even had a side door out onto the porch.

The bed was a nice four poster carved from dark mahogany timber, rather like the color of Cat's hair, he thought. It was comfortable, but impersonal as most guest rooms were. It needed an individual's touch.

"It's lovely." Cat studied the room for a moment, then turned back to Adam. She felt her emotions rise to the surface again. Something as simple as a bedroom in a lovely house had tipped her over the edge again. Adam embraced her and pulled her close.

"Something I said?"

"No, it's just I haven't had my own room and a real bed since I left home." She hiccuped, while trying to hold back tears.

Adam didn't really know what to say to that. He'd had a stable home for a long time. But he understood her relief and happiness.

"I remember when my father and I were crossing the country. All I could remember was sleeping in the backs of wagons, strange hotel beds and sometimes, just the ground and my bedroll. It's hard not to have a home, then, when you find one, it feels almost unreal."

Cat smiled. She enjoyed hearing snippets from Adam's life. He too must have known loneliness and uncertainty.

"Oh, my Lord." Cat sighed eventually. She unwrapped herself from Adam's arms and wiped her eyes with her hanky once more. "I haven't cried this much since I was six years old and fell off my first pony in front of my brothers! I was so humiliated." She laughed as she wiped away drying tears. Adam laughed with her.

"I think you need a few hours to yourself. Get settled today, then tomorrow you'll feel better. And then you just might realize what a terrible mistake you've made agreeing to marry me."

She looked up and said half seriously, "That works both ways."

"True, although, I'm cold dead sure I've made the right choice." Adam lifted a hand to her cheek and caressed it fondly. Cat smiled and closed her eyes as his firm, warm hand slid along her flushed skin.

"Me too." She covered his hand with hers and added, "You won't get away that easily. I'm the best hog-tier in the territory."

Adam grinned, then moved back against her. "Hmm, that could be interesting." He began to kiss the corner of her mouth, then moved to take her lips totally. They kissed until Hop Sing called out that breakfast was ready. Adam pulled back and sighed.

"Come on, time to eat with your new family."

"Okay."

That night before supper, Cat went into her room to prepare it. The bed looked heavenly. She slid her moccasins off and unhooked the top buttons on the front of her dress. She decided to lie down just for a moment, to feel the softness under her body. In a few minutes, she was fast asleep.

A while later after she didn't return, Adam knocked softly on her door. When he received no answer, he entered. The room was dark and he walked gingerly across the woven rug towards the bed. From the narrow stream of light coming from the dining room, he could see that Cat was asleep.

He crouched down beside the bed and watched her as she breathed in and out evenly and deeply. Adam's body yearned to lie down beside her. He thought about her story and knew she was the right woman for him. A woman with strength, intelligence, conviction and loyalty was a rare find. And to top it all off, her beauty did things to him he couldn't describe. How could he have been so blind to her when she'd first arrived?

Her family's tragic end niggled in his brain, and he knew that one day he'd follow the trail of what happened and find out the truth. Cat deserved to know.

He heard movement and the clink of silverware coming from the dining room, so he retreated quietly. He should allow her to get some well-deserved sleep.

"Cat coming out?" Ben asked as Adam appeared and noiselessly closed the door behind him.

"No, she's asleep. It's best I don't wake her." He looked thoughtfully at his family. They were all curious and it was obvious Cat wasn't feeling herself.

"Anything wrong, Adam?" Hoss was the one to ask. Adam considered his answer for a minute, then replied.

"Over the last few days, she told me about what happened to her family. It's not a pleasant story but I would like you to know some of it."

As they ate their dinner, Adam told them a condensed version of Cat's story. He wanted his family to understand how much she'd been through. He asked their help in making her feel at home and a real part of the family.

"We'll help all we can, Adam." Joe's offer of assistance sounded mature beyond his years.

"You can count on us Adam," replied Hoss.

"Thanks, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention to her that you know too much straight away. I mean, I'm the first person she's spoken to about her family in all this time." Of course, they all agreed to co-operate.

The rest of the meal was spent talking about Cat, and how she was going to brighten up the Ponderosa. Adam's brothers managed a bit of healthy teasing too, about he and Cat's first meeting and their subsequent arguments and fights.

When it was time to go to bed, Adam checked on her once more. She'd barely moved. He looked longingly at the few buttons undone on the front of her dress. They revealed her creamy flesh and a hint of cleavage. He debated undressing her and tucking her in but that would only entice him to stay. He felt he couldn't violate his father's home with an immorality that Ben would never condone. Reluctantly he left her alone.

When he reached his room, Adam couldn't sleep. His body was abuzz with the anticipation of love he would share with Cat. They would be married, but when? Adam wasn't sure how long he could wait. Not that he didn't love just talking with her and being in her company.

To find a woman who challenged his mind as well as his body was a very fortunate thing. But right now, it was the longing in his body that drove him to distraction.

Cat needed to feel safe and wanted again. She needed his support and strength. He couldn't rush her because of his own longing. Still, as he undressed and lay back in his bed, he couldn't help but imagine her there, beside him, winding her limbs about him and kissing him wildly. He tossed and turned and didn't sleep a wink.


	21. Chapter 21

**WARNING:** **This chapter contains an explicit love scene. If this offends you then please skip to the end.**

Cat pulled Rebel up on the side of a small rise and raised her canteen to her lips. Thirsty in the dusty heat, she took a long drink of water from the container. It was early afternoon, so the temperature was soaring. Wiping her brow, she surveyed the scene in front of her and felt a swelling of pride. The huge herd of beef cattle spread along the valley below her for almost a mile. Behind them, an enormous cloud of dust followed. As they neared San Francisco, the land got drier.

The sight was an awesome one. The drive had gone relatively smoothly and they'd lost few cattle, despite a couple of the tenderfoots slacking off. Only two more days to go, and they would reach the enormous cattle yards at San Francisco where the beef would be sold off.

She could kill for a bath. It had been a couple of days since the last river crossing. She smiled broadly as she remembered that crossing only too well.

It had been a stinking, hot day and fording the river was both a blessing and a problem. Cattle got stuck up and down the banks and they spent all afternoon hauling them out of the mud.

At the end of the day, all the wranglers were dirty, sweaty, tired and irritable. Cat got to bath in private at sundown. During the drive, Adam had assigned Hoss to her to keep watch while she washed.

Hoss was above reproach and tough enough to discourage any of the men from trying anything. Adam had included himself on that list. He didn't trust his intention enough to keep watch and not spy on her, or join her for that matter. When she was done, she returned to Hoss and they walked back to the camp site.

When they were almost back, Cat remembered she'd left her braiding leather back on a rock. Hoss went on to the camp site alone, and she doubled back to get it. In a different section of the river, she heard splashing as she passed a thick grove of bushes. Then, she heard Adam's distinctive voice, whistling then humming Early One Morning. She stopped and counted to ten. She knew the decent thing to do was to keep going but . . .

Cat moved as quietly as she could through the brush, then peered out towards the sound. There he was, fully naked in the water. He was up to his waist in liquid. Cat felt hot flushes run over her skin as she feasted on his bare chest, shoulders, back and arms. He was washing his shirt, and the sunset showered a golden hue over his body.

He was magnificent. His hard, muscled biceps flexed as he scrubbed the sturdy cloth of his blood red shirt. How she longed for them to hold her firmly against his body and feel his hot flesh against her. He turned slightly and her breathing became erratic as she gazed at the thick, dark hair that covered his massive chest. It swirled invitingly and its line disappeared into the water. She yearned to discover the secrets of his flesh that were hidden by the slow running water.

She was so wrapped up in her spying, she leaned too heavily on a branch and it snapped loudly under her weight. Adam looked up and towards the bushes. Cat retreated in panic. She tried to move without making a noise, and when she was sufficiently back far enough, she turned and hurried away.

When Adam returned to the camp, she busied herself with tack repairs. He moved casually to his saddlebags and packed away his toiletries. Cat relaxed. He didn't appear to be at all suspicious, as he went up to Hoss and started to discuss the following day's route. When they'd finished their meeting, he sauntered slowly over to where she sat and crouched down to her level.

"Got a minute? I want to show you something." His voice was level and low.

"Sure." Cat smiled, and laid down the bridle she was fixing. Adam enclosed her hand in his and walked her away from the main camp.

"What is it?" They ended up behind the store wagon in the dark.

"Just this." Without warning, he clutched her hand hard, spun her around and into his arms. He moved back against the wagon and crushed her against his body. Before she knew it, Adam's hot mouth met hers with a rush of passion so strong, it left her gasping for breath when he finally pulled back.

"Adam," she managed weakly as she melted against him, feeling the hard, sensual length of him.

"Yes, my wicked girl, I know you were spying on me." Cat was glad for the darkness because it hid her crimson face.

"I . . .I didn't mean too . . .I forgot my braid," she spluttered unconvincingly.

"Mmm, and then what?" He moved his hands down her back and then to her firm, round buttocks. She panted as he pushed her firmly against him. There was no mistaking his arousal, or hers, as her hips gyrated against him almost of their own free will.

"I just took a peek," she admitted between kisses. She flattened her breasts against his chest, ran her hands along his robust shoulders and nuzzled her face into his nape.

"And what did you think?' Adam nipped a line of bites along her neck.

"I thought . . .you were the most handsome man I'd ever seen." She threw her head back as he claimed the skin at her throat with his scorching lips. "And I ached inside," she admitted honestly as he groaned and took her mouth again.

"You don't know what you're doing to me," he answered in a pained voice.

"Maybe not, but I'm beginning to learn." She moved away and smiled seductively at him before slipping back to the camp, leaving Adam by the wagon smiling wryly.

Back on the rise, Cat smiled at the sexy memory. Over the next few days, the tension between them seemed to increase ten fold. She was ready to turn her mount back down the hill and rejoin the rear of the herd, when a vivacious sight took her eye.

Adam rode flat out along the length of the herd, bunching the cattle with skill and flair. His rhythmic motion in the saddle made Cat's body shiver with unbridled lust.

Adam had been wonderful about all her fears and problems. Cat went through her own private hell after dredging up all the memories of her family's demise. As Adam predicted, the healing process for her was not easy.

During that first week staying in the main house, the nights were the worst. It was hard for her to sleep as the old nightmares resurfacing to haunt her and test her sanity.

When she could sleep, she always awoke, covered in sweat, screaming. The vivid horror of her brothers twisted and rotting bodies hanging from the ranch entry sign plagued her dreams. On those occasions, Adam was down the stairs and into her room in mere seconds.

On reflection, she wondered how he'd gotten any sleep himself. He would fly to her side, wake her gently, and then gather her close to his chest. She would tremble in fear, clinging to him for dear life. Then, after a long time, would eventually fall into an exhausted sleep in his arms.

During the days, they worked side by side, preparing the cattle. There wasn't much time to be alone, but Adam would always try and work in some small part of the day where they could escape the other men and be alone.

Adam would cautiously coax her into talking about the nightmares and about how she was feeling. The more they talked each day, the better Cat began to feel. Especially since he had taken her side of her family's innocence. It worked and after a week, she'd slept straight through until almost dawn. She was awoken by the slightest touch on her cheek. She stretched, yawned and looked up into Adam's eyes.

"Hi," She croaked sleepily.

"Hi." He settled his weight on the side of the bed, leaned down and kissed her full on the mouth. After drawing back he added, "Just checking to see if you were still alive."

Cat smiled up at him, and realized that he'd been waiting for her to have a nightmare, as she had done every other night.

"I'm alive, and well," she replied and twisted her fingers around his, drawing them to her lips. She moved his index finger into her mouth and teased the delicate surface with her teeth.

"Careful, Cat, you might bite off more that you can chew." He lowered his head again and nuzzled the delicate flesh of her ear lobe, which caused an arrow of desire to shoot through her veins.

She'd wanted him to stay with her then, and he knew it. Turning her face to his, he kissed her lightly, then left her wanting. She was almost well. The cattle drive started that day, and he knew she would be his very, very soon. Adam smiled with the knowledge.

The drive started out slow. It was a big job, making sure the herd stayed together. Adam and Hoss rode lead; Joe and Cat rode drag. Over the course of their chess games when Cat had been injured, she'd gained over eight days worth of rear guard duty. But she didn't mind, as she she enjoyed Joe's sunny attitude to his work.

Between the four of them, they directed the other fifteen or so hands that were spread out evenly amongst the cattle. The days were long and trying. One of the men was particularly incapable. He lost more cattle than all the others put together. Joe and Cat were constantly doubling back to round up strays.

Ben had gone ahead to San Francisco to start the negotiations on the sale. They would all meet up in a few days time hopefully after a successful drive.

By the evenings, all were tired and hungry. Cat and Adam would sit together, but there was rarely an opportunity for intimate moments, so they talked at length about everything and anything. Adam learned a lot more about Cat's childhood. There were a lot of parallels in their growing up. They'd hunker around the fire, talking, laughing and joking and sometimes singing the night away, until it was time for sleep.

They kept close at night, but not close enough for temptation. They were careful to uphold their moral standards in front of the men. During the days, Cat could feel her burdens falling away. She felt stronger mentally than she had for years. The love from Adam and his brothers was serving to heal her. She felt like a human being once again. She found herself laughing, teasing and throwing herself into her work with pride and determination.

Hoss and Little Joe would often comment to each other on how she and Adam had changed in the last couple of weeks. They could see she'd been hurting before, and now was recovering.

They attributed this to Adam's commitment to her. He also seemed to have lost the fears he accumulated after Michelle. Their father had quietly mentioned Adam's initial apprehension, after everything settled down. He also had been easier to get on with. They were determined to help in any way possible.

Now, as Cat thought back, she felt strong once again. She could imagine her own brothers down amongst the longhorns, working and laughing.

She was finally becoming free of the past to start her new life in the Nevada Territory. She was free to become Adam's wife and to return the devotion he had unselfishly shown her.

Adam turned in the saddle and spotted her watching from above. He tipped his hat in a gallant gesture. Cat smiled and returned the acknowledgement. She moved down off the rise and broke Rebel into a canter to approach her man in black.

"Well. Mr Cartwright, so forward of you. I do declare, I think I will have to write your father about you being too fresh with me. I'm just a little 'ol farm girl from Arizona, you know."

Adam broke into a wide smile, then returned the jest. "My father taught me everything I know. I doubt he's going to save you." Sidling Sport up beside Rebel, he leaned over and touched her lips with his. A shiver of raw pleasure moved through her body.

"Who says I want to be saved?"

Adam didn't get to reply to that, however, as Hoss approached from the rear of the herd.

"Big brother, we've got problems again."

Adam released Cat and turned, momentarily annoyed with his sibling.

"Hoss, can't you take care of it?"

"You know I wouldn't interrupt without good reason, Adam." His face was down, his expression hurt.

"Sorry, Hoss, I guess were all getting a little uptight. We'll be in San Francisco in two days. The rest will do us all good." Adam rode over to Hoss and slapped him encouragingly on the shoulder. "What's the matter, is it Wally again?"

"Yep, he done let about two dozen head stray back into them hills a few miles back."

"A few miles! And he only just told you now? That's it Hoss, I've had it with him. He's off the job! Joe will take his place and he can ride up here with me until we get to 'Frisco."

"Sure thing, Adam. You want me 'n Little Joe to double back and get 'em?"

Adam sighed. "It's going to take the rest of the day to bring those cattle back. No, you stay with the herd. I'll go."

"Okay, I'll tell Wally." Hoss looked at his elder brother and Cat. "Adam, I think you're gonna need someone else to go with ya. They might have spread out up there. Why don't you and Cat both go? We can look after things here. It's only a couple more miles 'till camp."

Adam turned to Cat and raised an eyebrow. "How about it? It means a few extra hours in the saddle."

Cat didn't hesitate. It meant spending those hours alone with Adam. "I think I can take it."

They shared a knowing look. Hoss watched them with satisfaction. They needed to be together for a while. He understood that, and so at last did they.

"All right, Hoss, you take control. You know the camp site, down by the river. We'll cross in the morning. We should be back pretty late, so don't bother to wait before you eat."

"You don't have to worry about that, Adam. First in, first served tonight."

They all chuckled, and the tension melted away.

As they prepared to ride away, the pair noticed a storm front gathering over the hills where they were headed.

"Looks like we might even get a little rain." Adam wiped the back of his neck with his bandanna.

"That would sure be good. I can't wait to get to the city, so I can relax back in a long, hot bath." Cat closed her eyes to the sun, and tipped her head back. Adam watched her simple movement. He had noticed it was a habit she had, as if she were drinking in the sun's rays.

"Only if I can scrub your back." The reply was low and sexy. Cat opened her green eyes and flashed them with pleasure.

"That could be arranged." Their frustration building, the pair clicked their horses and cantered away from the group. It was going to be a long two days.

They had a wonderful ride for the next couple of hours. They talked and laughed and enjoyed just being on their own.

On reaching the pass, they went in different directions and quickly surveyed the area. Cat found most of the cattle on the north side of the pass, and Adam found the rest on the south. It was late afternoon before they had them all back together.

By that time, the approaching storm rumbled loudly overhead. The clouds were low and very dark. Because they were on a ridge top, it was inevitable that they were about to get very wet. The wind started to whip as the storm gathered its strength.

"We're going to get wet, Cat. Did you see any shelter around back there?" Adam called across. His voice was almost drowned out by the thunder.

"There's an old settler's hut further up that looks abandoned, but I don't mind getting wet. It'll wash this dust off. I've been waiting for it." She beamed at him and lifted the hat off her head. Pulling at the plait tied at her nape, she shook her hair out and waited for the cleansing rain to fall.

Adam laughed as he watched her preparing to enjoy the simple pleasure. Just then, the icy needles arrived. Large cold droplets tumbled from the sky and splashed on the animals and humans alike. Cat squealed with delight as the water began to cleanse her dusty body. Adam too, reveled in the sharp cold sensation.

But the rain was heavy, and soon the pair was soaked to the skin. After a while, Adam could see it was not going to let up. He knew they should take shelter, as lightning was always a concern. He urged Sport across to where Cat was.

"Come on, we'd better get out of this weather. Let's go back to that hut you saw."

Cat realized he was right and nodded. The rain was mixed with tiny hail now. It was dangerous, and she was getting quite cold. They found the hut quickly and were grateful for the rotting, but useful, cattle corral beside it. They herded the stock into the pen, dismounted, grabbed their bedrolls from the horses and ran for cover. They found the door to the hut jammed. The ancient timbers that formed it were swollen shut. Adam took command and kicked in the door. It gave way with the strength of his purpose and swung unevenly on it's hinges. They hurried inside, finally out of the heavy raindrops. They stood in the center of the room, laughing and dripping profusely all over the floor.

Cat tried to shake the water from her body, but it was no use. Her clothes were drenched and stuck to her frame. She looked over at Adam; he was sodden as well. His clothes were molded to his body. The taut maleness of his torso was severely outlined. Cat licked her moist lips as she unconsciously feasted on his masculinity. She was not prepared for the overwhelming urge that attacked her very being. She lusted for him with her eyes. A primitive and fierce hunger for his body overcame her.

Adam too was suddenly captivated by her sensual predicament. Droplets of water fell lightly from her hair and followed a path down along the ridge of her now transparent shirt. He could clearly see the outline of her nipples that were swollen and hard from the cold shower. Then, as he looked up into her eyes, he recognized her true desires. She'd been undressing him with her eyes and her cheeks were aflame. He groaned with unbridled lust as he crossed the room in an instant.

All of a sudden, they were together. Their bodies merged as one and their mouths plundered deeply. Their need for each other was urgent. Cat felt her being tremble with desire as Adam's powerful arms encircled her hips and lifted her from the floor. As he carried her over to the old worn cot in the corner of the room, she wrapped her legs wantonly around him. Cat trailed hot, breathless kisses all over his cool damp neck as they moved. Her shaky hands found the front of his shirt. With a measure of desperation, she fumbled with the buttons and almost ripped the material from his chest, so eager was she to touch the maleness of his flesh and explore the flow of muscle and sinew beneath her fingers.

Adam groaned as she splayed her hands along his exposed chest. She intertwined the soft hairs with her fingers, causing his blood to rage through his veins. As he lowered her down on the small bed, he grazed the delicate skin at her throat with stubble. Cat shivered, loving the wholly masculine scent and feel of him. The cot was hard and narrow but they didn't notice any discomfort. The necessity to become one was too strong for them both. They shut out the whole world, as they began to make love to one another.

Adam eased the buttons on her shirt undone. With every parting, he sensuously kissed the newly exposed flesh, causing her to gasp with excitement. His touch left a trail of heat across her skin. As he parted the wet material, he drew a deep unsteady breath. She was beautiful; her silken breasts were almost exposed to him, as the calico corset she wore beneath her riding cloths became loose. He reached around to her back, and untied the laces. Cat arched against him. She was desperate for him to touch her. The slip of cloth fell away and at last, unveiled her creamy flesh. Adam sighed as he gazed on her lovely naked breasts for the very first time.

Overcome with desire, he moved his lips back to hers and seductively yet smoothly sought the delicate inner recesses of her mouth. He kissed her thoroughly and ardently. Then, when he pulled away, he spoke.

"Cat, you are exquisite, do you know that?" His voice was coarse with craving.

"No . . . I" she whispered unsteadily. She half closed her eyes with bliss and her heart pounded in her chest as he trailed his lips down her throat and across her collarbone. She tipped her head up, wanting to watch him as he slowly kissed his way towards her aching breasts.

Cat didn't know what to expect. Her daydreams and the brief encounters they'd had fully clothed were all she had to go on. Nothing prepared her for the erotic, sensual feeling of Adam's mouth, as he reached one rosy pink nipple and encircled it with his hot, moist tongue.

"Oh!" Cat hissed sharply as the foreign but extraordinary sensation took her by surprise. It created an agonizing throb at her core.

Adam raised his eyes to watch her as he gently suckled on her sensitive flesh for the first time. She was completely helpless and overcome by pleasure. Her eyes pleaded for more as he left one tingling nipple to seek out the other. As he descended again, he lifted his hand and gently fondled its twin. He cupped its weight in the palm of his hand and let a throaty moan escape his lips, as his arousal became almost unbearably painful. He had to take her soon, or he'd lose control completely.

But still, he continued to kiss and caress her breasts. He'd dreamed of making love to her like this a thousand times, and Cat was everything he'd hoped and more. She was so responsive. One tiny touch from his lips or fingers sent her panting and writhing against him with desire.

"Adam!" She said again, as he pulled one nipple more firmly into his mouth. The frustration was almost too much. He reluctantly left the swollen peaks and returned to her mouth.

"What is it, sweetheart?" He kissed and nipped her neck and ear with increasing urgency.

"It feels so wonderful. I didn't know it could be like this." She moved her hands back to his shoulders and ran them along their solid length.

"This is just the beginning," he murmured and took her mouth with a burning need.

Cat wanted to learn and matched his ferocity.

"Tell me what you want me to do, what you like. I want to please you too." Her hooded emerald eyes shone with hunger for him. He raised his hand to her cheek and delicately stroked her heated skin.

"You know how to please me. Unleash your passion, Cat."

Cat trusted in him and followed her instincts. She pushed him back from her face with a shaky hand, and moved her hands shamelessly over his chest. The hard fiber of his torso shuddered with delight. Then, she boldly rubbed her thumbs over his hard, flat nipples and watched the pain and pleasure of her touch show in his face. She then moved her fingers lower and looked to him for guidance.

"Do you like this?" Her eyes glowed like a tiger's, as she unfastened the silver buckle on his wide belt. His dark, thick lashes lowered languidly as he drowned in her unashamed exploration of him. Cat's hands shook as she undid the belt, pushed it back, and then reached for the buttons on his trousers.

He stayed still as she worked to slip the fastenings from their holes. The material seemed way too tight. Then as the cloth pealed away, his under draws revealed the problem. His sex, huge and swollen, strained to get out. Fascinated, Cat boldly ran her hand down and touched him through the silk of his underwear.

"No."

"Does it hurt?" She asked innocently as she felt its heat and power.

"Right now, it's hurtin' real bad," he chuckled with frustration, then pulled her hand away and smiled lovingly at her. "It wants you . . . I want you." He pulled her close again, and kissed her thoroughly. She contentedly sighed against his mouth, as the excitement built.

He moved his lips back down to her aching breasts and took one of the hardened tips back into his mouth. Cat gasped once again. She found herself wantonly twisting beneath the weight of his body.

"Adam." His name was a mere sigh on her lips. He continued his journey and removed the soaked trousers and underwear from their bodies. Finally, they then both lay together, naked. Their hot skin fused with longing.

Cat was no longer coherent. She pulled Adam's weight down onto her and passionately curled her legs around him. Her thighs spread wide and tempted him with their hidden delights. She enticed him with a primeval hunger she never knew she possessed until now. Her sexy plea was one of sheer desperation.

"Adam, make love to me, please. I need you inside me. I can't stand it anymore."

He too was barely in control. But he wanted to be sure of her. She would feel pain. He didn't want that.

"I could hurt you, my love." He feathered his fingers along the flatness of her stomach, letting them settle on the delicate flesh of her inner thigh. She almost cried out as the sensation caused a riot inside her.

"Adam, please." She moved her hand down to convince him. Adam sucked in a sharp breath as she closed her fingers about his hardness.

His control all but gone, Adam wanted to be sure of her readiness. He let his fingers trail lightly along her thigh then slowly he inched them up to the soft curls between her legs. Cat instinctively parted her thighs to his warm, sensual touch. He moved up to kiss her as his tapered fingers stroked the delicate folds of flesh that would give them both such pleasure.

Then, as she moaned against him, he cautiously explored her depths. She shuddered and clutched at him as she felt the astonishingly erogenous sensation of his fingers inside her. Adam smiled against her mouth. She was hot and wet and ready for him. He considered bringing her to climax before he made love to her, but he just couldn't hold back any longer.

He removed his hand, then covered her body with his. He entered her soft essence with infinite care. Cat curved to meet him, savoring the first moment they would be joined.

She was taken aback for a second, when a sharp pain stabbed through her abdomen. He was there for her in a moment. Whispering encouragement, he held back until she was ready again. As quickly as it came, the pain subsided and she unconsciously began to move against him once more. He lifted her head from the hard board of the cot and cradled it in his hand. His own eyes were dark and heavy with the heat of desire. As they moved as one, they drowned in urgent kisses.

Cat rubbed her entire body shamelessly against his, heightening her awareness of him. The soft curls of hair on his chest tickled against her rigid nipples. The power of his muscled thighs met the firmness of her own, as if they belonged against one another. The flatness of both their bellies rubbing together caused a friction so deep in her soul; it almost made her want to cry. And best of all was the incredible, stimulating feeling being created by his hot swollen manhood, as Adam gradually worked his way inside her and towards her womb. She strained to let him in further. He was large, but she was overcome by the extraordinary sensation.

"Oh, my . . . love," she trembled, and Adam kissed her as he entered her more and more deeply.

"Let it take you over, Cat. Let go, lie back, relax." Adam watched her try and follow his instructions. She was too taut, and he feared he might let go before she did. He wanted her first experience to be unforgettable. He slowed and felt her tension ease off. He watched her soft pink tongue as it flicked out and encircled her lips with delicious longing. Adam couldn't hold out any longer. He moved hard and fast inside her, no longer in control of his actions.

A powerful, but unfamiliar tension started to build in her body. As he filled her to capacity, sharp tremors of agonizing pleasure flashed through her body. She clung to him; their flesh was now covered in sweat, their bodies ached for release. Cat gripped his back, wanting to hold him as close as she could. She willed the frantic pace to consume her.

"Oh, God! Adam." She was free falling, tumbling from a high cliff. Every nerve in her body jolted with ecstasy. Waves upon waves of rapture washed through her. She heard Adam call to her, as he too found sweet release at almost the same moment. She felt his hot seed flood her body, and she sighed with contentment and wonder.

The emotion of the moment drained their energy. They both sank down onto the hard surface of the cot and held each other tight as their bodies continued to shudder with the aftermath.

Cat couldn't think for a long time. She was too exhausted, too shocked, too much in love. When her limbs recovered some of their strength, she cuddled into him. She didn't wish to let him go, ever again and held onto him fiercely, possessively. Adam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He wanted her again almost immediately.

Cat quickly fell asleep in his arms. Adam accepted her slow even breathing, and tried to move away without waking her. It was getting cold in the cabin and he knew he had to start a fire and dry their clothes. He gently placed her down and covered her body with one of the blankets they'd brought inside. He wrapped the other around his waist, then crossed to the old fireplace and gathered kindling and logs from the timber box.

As he worked on lighting a fire, he was overcome with emotion from the love they'd just shared together. A very special love, the likes of which he'd never experienced before.

But his practical mind knew he had to warm up the room and dry their clothes. Thank goodness there was still wood from the last inhabitants. A dusty, almost empty bottle of whisky served as a good fire lighter and a blaze soon warmed the small, square room. He then went outside and found an old water barrel, which was half filled with fresh rainwater. He washed up, then brought it inside.

He lay their clothes out to dry, then returned to Cat's sleeping form. He was finally complete, he realized as he gazed at her loveliness.

Never had he felt so much love for one person. He'd never wanted something so much. Lifting a hand to her face, he possessively smoothed a wayward strand of soft hair away. She was wonderful. He knew she truly loved him. It wasn't the surroundings he had been hoping for with her first time, but then, in the end it hadn't mattered. They were joined now, for eternity. His happiness was complete.

Much later that night, Adam donned his dried cloths and woke Cat with a shower of kisses. She blinked sleepily at him, and held her arms out to him. He pulled her up from the cot, and enclosed her in his arms.

"Come, my love. I've dried your clothes, and I've let you sleep as long as I could. We better be starting back, otherwise we won't make it before dawn."

He laid his cheek on hers and gently stroked the smooth skin of her back. He was grateful the blanket covered her, as another glimpse of her naked flesh would surely inflame his desire once more.

"Adam, did I tell you?" She drew back and merged her eyes with his.

"What, sweetheart?"

"That I love you." Her voice wobbled with feeling. He drank in the honesty from her eyes, and he knew it deep inside to be true.

"I know, Cat, I know. I love you, too. More than you can know."

They kissed for a long time. Finally they broke apart, when they reluctantly realized they were out of time. Adam allowed her to wash and dress in private while he readied the animals.

When he came back inside, he asked awkwardly whether she was hurt, but she smiled warmly and assured him she was in one piece, although she'd surely be a little sore and sorry in the morning, she thought quietly to herself. She'd received more damage from the unforgiving cot then from their passion. Cat didn't think she'd ever see the world quite the same way again. Adam had lovingly turned her into a woman, and she felt whole at last.

As they kissed and left the cabin, they fought a rising desire to make love again. Then, at around 2:00 a.m., they mounted their horses and headed with the cattle back to the main herd. Luckily, the storm had cleared, and a full moon shone brightly, lighting their way. They spoke little. They shared a small glance here, a touch there. Sometimes, they would stop for a moment and steal a burning kiss in the moonlight.

It was just before dawn when they finally joined the camp again. Fortunately, no one was up. No one, that was except for Hoss. He'd been concerned that they might have been caught in the storm, and was worried about their safe return. As he saw them approach the camp, he could tell his concerns had been in vain. They both looked blissfully happy. He could finally dose off, content with that knowledge.


	22. Chapter 22

Everyone felt relief as they rounded the last bend with the cattle. Ahead in the distance, they could make out the corrals. The sale yards were on the outskirts of the city. Cantering towards them, was Ben on a hired horse. He'd taken the stage out and arrived a week earlier to begin negotiations for the sale. As he approached, he gave a wide smile to Adam who was leading them in. Once again, Ben was proud of his three sons - especially Joe who'd completed his first drive.

"Great job, boys. It looks like you've had a successful trip. The cattle look good."

Joe was eager to recount the highlights of the drive for his father, explaining all the problems and all the triumphs they'd encountered. It had been a good decision to let him on the drive. The best part was that they'd lost barely a dozen head on the trail. Quite remarkable considering they'd been short handed.

Just then, Cat also rode up. Covered in grit and dust, Ben thought she looked radiant.

"How's my favorite daughter-in-law to be?" he boomed, drawing a grin from his three sons.

"Fine except for one thing."

"Oh, and that is?"

"I need a bath!" They all laughed, and nodded in agreement.

"Boys, and Cat, we will all be having a good clean up, a superb meal, and a big celebration tonight. Come on; let's get these cattle to market.

Little Joe whooped up a loud holler as he sprang Cochise into action. That's what they all wanted to hear. As Hoss, Ben and Joe raced forward, Adam and Cat trotted behind.

"And, my darling Cat, a soft bed?" Adam's dark eyes twinkled with a wickedness that made Cat's body tremble.

Lots of children and adults alike watched the great herd being fed into the corrals. The local newspaper reporter was even there to capture the excitement and spectacle of the event.

The reputation of the Ponderosa Ranch was growing every year, and it was an interesting story to the city dwellers, reading about the ranchers' further east. By afternoon, everyone was ready for a clean up and a celebratory drink.

Adam and Cat had their own rooms, and for the sake of respectability, they stayed apart until everyone met for dinner. They ate at one of the most popular restaurants in San Francisco. Cat was wearing a brand new gown which she managed to purchase late in the afternoon. She was getting more used to dressing like a lady but made sure the corset wasn't too tight. It was made from a lavish gold thread with a fitted bodice and wide flowing skirt.

She got admiring glances from all the Cartwrights, but particularly from Adam. He himself looked handsome dressed in a black evening suit, silk tie at his collar. Cat felt very proud of him and the rest of the men, as they showed her the best the city had to offer.

It took a couple of days for the sale of the cattle to be transacted. Ben spent most of his time at the yards with Hoss. He graciously allowed Adam the time off to be with Cat. Adam showed her the city in style. Taking her for long walks around the Bay, going to the theatre in the evenings and to intimate dinners at some of the fine restaurants. Late at night, when they returned to the hotel, Adam would come to her room. They would spend the remaining dark hours making slow, sensuous love to one another, leaving no doubt in each others minds about the wonderful life they were going to share together.

Ben was pleased with the outcome of the sale. They made a healthy profit, and it would stand them in good stead to expand the ranch operations the following year. To complete Ben's happiness, Adam and Cat announced their wedding date. It was to be held shortly after they all returned to the Ponderosa. Life was good. Now, all he had to do was get Hoss to build up the courage to court Betty-Sue.

And Little Joe, well he just hoped he could keep him away from girls until he was of age. The way he chatted up every waitress he encountered was worrying, but Joe just laughed, his good humor and smiling face kept everything light.

On their final morning at breakfast, the five of them talked and laughed about the activities they'd been up to during the week. As Ben looked through the morning paper, he was delighted to see a full story on the cattle drive, featuring his family. The reporter at the scene had been keen to capture the true spirit of the western cowboy, and the great Ponderosa Ranch. Ben swelled with pride as he read the article out to his family.

"Earlier this week, the annual cattle drive from the Ponderosa, the largest beef ranch in the Nevada Territory, made its entrance into our fair city. Billowing dust and thirsty cowboys led in the thousands of head of prime beef." Ben smiled up at the others with self-satisfaction. "The Ponderosa," he continued, "grows the best quality beef for a thousand miles. The fine steaks you will be dining on this winter will be due to the Cartwright's hard and diligent work."

The boys grinned with pride. They had never had such a wonderful story written about them before. "Keep going, Pa." Joe was eager to hear everything.

"All right. Ben Cartwright, along with his three robust sons, Adam, Eric and Joseph led the drive. They were accompanied by Adam's fiancée, Cat De'Maine. Surely, one of the most attractive cow hands this writer has ever seen!" They all looked at Cat who turned a brilliant crimson color.

Adam kissed her hand with admiration. They exchanged a private, forgiving look. Just the day before, they'd had their very first serious argument since becoming a couple. They'd worked through it, and felt stronger because of it. Ben sighed. He'd been worried last evening, but Hoss had been right, they'd worked it out.

They all lingered over the rest of the meal discussing the article and the plans for the rest of the day. Ben was going to arrange the stage ride home for he, Adam and Cat. Hoss and Joe were riding back, leading the spare horses they had used on the drive. They would be accompanied by some of the hands that came out with them. Cat went off to some of the exclusive stores to pick out a wedding dress. Adam was barred from going with her, so he would accompany his father, taking care of last minute business transactions. Around eleven, Hoss and Joe bade them farewell, as they prepared the horses.

Upon their return to Virginia City, the wedding preparations began in earnest. Adam and Cat spent hours on the huge guest list, but finally gave up and just agreed to invite anyone who wanted to come. After a week, Hoss and Joe returned. All of them looked forward to the celebration and to the winding down of the season. They'd achieved a great amount since early spring, and although there was still work to do in late fall and winter, the ranch would be reduced to a skeleton crew, and the Cartwrights would be housebound for weeks at a time.

Cat reflected on the recent events of her life as she prepared to move into town for the week prior to her wedding. It was hard to believe that she'd only known Adam and his family for less than six months. She couldn't imagine life without them now. It was arranged for her to stay with Mrs Dalton until the wedding day. It was the proper thing to do, and besides, she was making final adjustments to the wedding dress. Cat would miss Adam terribly, but it made it all the more special, thinking of the wonderful day just around the corner.

The night before the wedding, Cat heard a small tapping noise at her window. It was quite late. Crossing the room, she peaked out into the dark street to investigate. She instantly broke into a hot flush. Noiselessly, she left her room and went to the side entrance.

Clad only in her nightgown, she opened the door to the cool night air. Adam was there in her arms in a second. They kissed at a leisurely pace, drinking in the full sweet taste of one another. After a long time, they broke apart. Adam raked his eyes over her.

"Mr Cartwright, I do declare it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." Cat nuzzled his ear lobe, wanting him.

"If this is bad luck, then I want as much as I can get. Besides, I've still got a few minutes until midnight." He turned her lips back to his and gently parted them with his tongue. They hadn't made love since San Francisco, and they both were on edge. Cat felt an intense ache rage through her body, but she knew she couldn't give in. She gently, but firmly pulled away.

"Adam, tomorrow is our wedding day. I have to be ready for it. If I give into you now, I'm not going to get a wink of sleep."

"Sounds wonderful." He grazed one swollen nipple with his thumb.

Cat faltered as her body betrayed her. "I'm not going to give in." She scolded in a gentle-hearted way. "I can be pretty stubborn, you know."

"Oh, I know." He moved away from her and reluctantly let her go. "Just remember though, this means we have to leave the reception earlier tomorrow night. I'm an impatient man." They both moved together again, giving completely of each other, with a kiss so meaningful and honest they never wanted to part.

Later, as Cat lay in her bed alone, she wished she'd let him stay. Somehow, she felt more and more nervous about the coming day. Not about marrying Adam, but from a fear that she would never have enough time with him. There would never be enough, not if she lived to be one hundred. Then she realized that a twinge of her old self-doubts must have been surfacing to haunt her.

She felt remorse as she thought of her family. She was sad that they could not have been here with her on her special day. That would have made her life complete. Then, she recalled Adam's love and how he healed her until she finally fell into a sound sleep, waiting for the dawn. The dawn of the day in which she would become Mrs Adam Cartwright.

Mrs Dalton fussed around her, smoothing the rich silk texture of the gown. Mary-Beth and Jo-Anne Porter were assisting with the finishing touches. The all gasped in wonderment as the last accessory of the single red rose Cat was to carry, was added to the ensemble. Mrs Dalton had nurtured her prized plant for just this occasion.

Cat looked tall and elegant. The gown was made out of ivory silk from the orient. With a high collar, long slender sleeves and a slightly flaring waist, she looked striking. The straight silk hung in heavy waves to the floor, only allowing a peak of her soft ivory slippers as she walked. Her lengthy auburn hair was twisted to one side, with curls falling around her brow and one ear. She held the blood red rose to her chest completing the effect.

Mrs Dalton stood back, and wept her pleasure. "You are beautiful, my dear, just beautiful, and so sophisticated."

"Thank you," she replied gratefully. "We won't tell anybody that these shoes are killing my feet."

Everyone continued to preen until a loud knock sounded at the door. Mrs Dalton hurried to open it. There, in the doorway, stood Ben Cartwright. He looked splendid in a grey morning suit complete with coat tails and vest. Mrs Dalton welcomed him into the room and revealed Cat to him with pomp and ceremony.

"Here she is, Ben. Isn't she a picture?"

He looked over happily at Cat. His heart burst with love and pride for his new daughter. He walked to her slowly and held out his hands, ready to take her to his son. She looked at him with a little apprehension. Would he feel she was good enough? She never had much to offer his first born. She needn't have worried.

"My darling, Cat. I'm very proud to welcome you into my family today. I have never seen a more radiant bride, although Adam's mother came very close." She smiled at the lovely complement.

"I have also never known Adam to be in such good humor. He and his brothers are getting on better than ever. I know it's because you are making him so happy."

"Thank you, Pa. You don't know how good that makes me feel."

"I have something for you." Cat looked on with interest, as he reached in the breast pocket of his jacket. From it, he extracted a delicate gold pin. It was exquisitely fashioned in the shape of a heart, with some minute engraving on the reverse. Cat took the precious object from Ben's fingers and examined it with wonder.

"It's lovely."

"It belonged to Adam's mother, Elizabeth. I had it made for her when we married. I've been saving it to give to the woman who would one day wed our son. Now, that day has come. I wonder if you would consider wearing it today. It would mean so much to me."

Cat leapt forward and hugged her future father-in-law. So overcome with emotion; tears welled in their eyes.

"Yes of course," she croaked. "I'll wear it with pride."

"Now now, Ben, you're messing up her hair. Come on you two, pull yourselves together. We have a wedding to put on."

The fussing tone of Mrs Dalton broke the serious moment, but as they prepared to leave for the church, Cat turned to Ben and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for being so understanding, and for letting me into your family and into your heart. If my father were here, I would have both of you give me away."

They smiled as a new bond of closeness formed between them. As they settled in the shiny open carriage, they waved a hearty goodbye to Mrs Dalton who was following along to the church on foot. She was already on her third handkerchief for the day.

The ceremony was lovely. There was hardly a dry eye in the little church, as all the on lookers recognized the love between the two newly weds. The vows were said with a great depth of feeling. The radiation of their love reached out into the congregation.

When they were announced husband and wife, a spontaneous round of applause exploded from the crowd. After thoroughly kissing his new bride, Adam took Cat's arm and gradually made his way out of the church, stopping every few steps to be hugged and congratulated by their friends.

The couple eventually made it outside. The day was brilliant and sunny. Adam took a deep breath and turned Cat to his chest. He watched in wonder as her eyes sparkled with happiness in the dazzling sunlight. He'd never felt so complete. The guests also began to spill out into the daylight. Being maneuvered in opposite directions, the happy couple continued with the well wishes and hugs of love from one and all. When the time came to leave, Cat walked across to her husband. She could see him, over by the carriage, laughing and smiling with Joe. Not only her wounds were healing, she thought wondrously, as the two brothers spontaneously hugged one another.

"Here you are, I was beginning to think you'd run off." Cat spoke light heartedly as she reached the pair.

"What, in broad daylight? I was going to wait 'till it got dark. Less suspicious." Adam answered in fun.

Joe laughed as he watched the two jest then embrace.

"I hope you two know there's no running off until we've toasted you at the reception. Hoss and me have got a few things planned." Adam turned at his brother's words and smiled.

"As long as they don't involve embarrassing stories."

"Now, wait just a minute, I think that sounds mighty interesting. This could be worth hearing," Cat answered with laughter and embraced both Cartwright's with affection. Hoss and Ben joined the happy trio.

"Well, are you two ready? I have a photographer from San Francisco who's going to take a wedding shot of you, then one of the family."

Cat looked up at Ben with surprise. "Really? That must have been very expensive."

"Nothing's too much for my first family wedding." Ben beamed at her, obviously enjoying every minute of the day. "Come on, he has to take them before the sun starts to go down.

The five Cartwright's moved over to the front of the church, where a very fussy Frenchman maneuvered and pushed them into various positions. Finally, he took several shots using the massive camera contraption. Hoss was fascinated with the machine and later, the man was happy to give him a lesson in the new art of photography.

The crowd of guests gradually made their way up to the town hall, where Ben had arranged for the reception to take place. It had always been his private wish to hold a wedding at the Ponderosa, but due to the large number of friends, who wanted to attend, it was more practical to hold it in town. After all, the church service was wonderful, and he still had two more sons to go!

The reception was happy and boisterous, and the food produced by the cook at the International Hotel was excellent. They all enjoyed Ben's best wines and toasted the happy couple. Joe and Hoss remained true to their promise and recounted as many funny stories from Adam's past as they could think of. Ross, Adam's best friend also came up with some tales of old girlfriends that had Adam blushing and Cat calling for more.

Everyone had such a good time, no one more than Ben. He swelled with pride when it was time to give his speech. All the guests turned quiet as he stood up to speak.

"Friends, it gives me great pleasure to stand before you all today and toast my eldest son and his new bride. I was getting worried there for a while, three sons and no girls willing to take them on. And, who could blame them!" A murmur of laughter broke through the hall.

"You might laugh, but let me tell you, I was considering putting in wanted posters. Young ladies with a very high threshold of tolerance required to marry and put up with three difficult and stubborn sons." He smiled broadly, everyone knew he was poking fun at his tribe. "Then, like a breath of fresh air, a determined young woman rode into the ranch and insisted on riding a bucking bronco. After watching her on that horse, I knew she was special. Little did I know how special." All the onlookers smiled as they saw the fond look exchanged between Ben and his new family member. "Mind you, it wasn't immediately obvious. The first day Adam and Cat met, they had a fist fight, which I had to break up!"

Laughter again rang through the room, as most people had heard about the strange start to their relationship.

"Then, as time went on, we realized these two had fallen for each other. Trouble was, we knew it and they didn't!" Hoss and Joe grinned.

"In all seriousness, I stand here today the proudest father in the Territory. To see your first-born son find true love and happiness with a young lady is very fortunate." He turned to the couple. "I know that the two of you will be very happy, and wish you a marvelous life together. Will everyone please charge your glasses and drink a toast. To Adam and Cat." Ben raised his glass with everyone following suit.

"To Adam and Cat."

"Thanks Pa." Adam stood up briefly to accept the toast. "Anyway, I had to marry her. Otherwise I may have got that sharp right hook again." Everyone burst out laughing and Cat playfully punched him in the leg.

Adam sat down, picked up Cat's hand in a gallant gesture and kissed it. After a couple of minutes, he whispered into her ear and she replied the same way. Standing up again, Adam called for a renewed quiet.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention." The noise died down as he cleared his throat. "I know this is a bit unusual, but my wife-" he paused for a minute on the word and everyone laughed, "-Would like to say a few words. Cat?"

He picked up her hands and drew her to a standing position. She was obviously nervous and she looked apprehensively at Adam as he resumed his seat. Glancing around the room at the expectant faces, Cat urged herself to talk.

"Thank you for letting me say a few words. I wish to say them because, as you would have noticed, my side of the church today was rather bare." Nobody had commented out loud, but people noticed the lack of family on Cat's side.

"Five years ago I lost my family and I was left to carry on afterwards. It wasn't easy." She felt a reassuring squeeze from Adam's hand as she struggled to continue. "I was quite bitter by the time I arrived in Virginia City a few months ago. Bitter about the past and about the life I had to lead because of it. I suppose . . . I lost faith in myself and other people." She looked up as the crowd absorbed her words. "Then, something wonderful happened. I met a family who believed in me and my abilities. And then, an amazing man had the courage to love me even with all my problems." She smiled down at Adam, whose eyes shone with emotion. She continued.

"I speak today for my father and brothers who are no longer with me except in spirit. I know my father would've been proud to call Adam his son, and would've been proud of his family. They've been selfless, caring and loving." She smiled at the three other Cartwright's in turn as she said the words. "They've given me back a family and a home. Something I thought I'd lost forever." There were a few sniffs of emotion coming from the ladies around the room.

"I'd like to say this. If a time comes in your life that you think you can not go on, that you think there's nothing to live for, hold on a little longer. God has taught me that you never know what or who is around the corner. And never give up hoping or trying." She turned to her husband. "I love you Adam, so much. And you Pa, Hoss and Joe. Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart and from my family who I know are here with us today." She stopped the speech as a tear spilled down her cheek. Adam leapt up and hugged her. There was hardly a dry eye in the house.

Later that night, the frivolities started with the dancing, the cutting of the cake and the drinking. Cat, high in demand for dances, whirled around the floor, her wedding dress flaring.

She was enjoying herself immensely, as was Adam. He danced with all the older ladies, keen to praise him on his choice of wife. Also, he was popular with all the younger women, who wanted to have one last dance with the dark, handsome Cartwright. They all realized from now on, he would seldom dance with anyone but his wife.

Later, Adam captured Cat for the slow waltz. As they circled the floor, he reminded her of the night they realized their love for one another. It had been in this very hall. He even managed a full recount of what she had been wearing.

"Impressive, Mr. Cartwright. Most men don't remember things like that."

"Oh? How would you know?"

"Well, I was talking to Annabelle and she told me all about-"

"-Annabelle? The girl who works in the saloon?" Adam looked at his wife with curiosity.

"Yes, and she told me-"

"-Since when did you start gossiping with saloon girls?"

Cat colored red. "Since I wanted to find out more about . . . life, you know."

"No, I don't know." Adam looked at her with suspicion.

"Never mind, you'll find out." She smiled innocently and twirled under his arm as the waltz came to an end.

Soon after, Adam and Cat announced they were leaving. The good-byes were many and half an hour later, they managed to make it to the door. Outside, Ben, Hoss and Joe waited to help them into the carriage.

Cat hugged them all one by one as she stepped towards the vehicle. Adam embraced his brothers and his father warmly also. It had been a long day and they were all emotionally drained. Finally, the couple was alone, riding in the closed carriage heading for the International Hotel. They were spending two nights there, and then they had passage booked for San Francisco.

Adam would have liked to take Cat somewhere more exotic for their honeymoon, but they both agreed they shouldn't take too much time off from the ranch with winter fast approaching. As they rode through the night to the hotel, they both finally were able to relax. Cat snuggled up to Adam and sighed. She couldn't have imagined a more perfect wedding day if she'd tried. Winding his arm around her, he pulled her close.

"Happy, Mrs Cartwright?" Adams deep voice murmured into her ear as they traveled.

"Who?" Cat turned to him in surprise. "Well, bless my soul, I must have got in the wrong carriage. Isn't this the stage to Goat Springs?"

Adam chuckled with amusement. "Ma'am, I think you're on the wrong transportation. This here stage is going to the International Hotel. Come to think of it, I'm staying there tonight, in the best suite, and well, I'd kinda like some company. You interested?" Cat's eyes sparkled as she continued the joke.

"Hmm, that's a tempting offer. She ran her eyes over his body. "A handsome man like yourself. It's mighty tempting. But, I don't think my husband would like it."

"Oh no?"

"Uh uh, I'm afraid he's the jealous type. A man just has to look at me and he goes gunning for them. You'll be dead before noon tomorrow." She ran her finger slowly along the line of his cheek. "But then, what a way to go, you, me, together, just one night." She leaned into him and kissed the sensitive flesh below his ear.

"I think that's worth getting killed over." Adam turned to her and tipped her face up to his with his forefinger.

"Really? Over me?" Cat's pulse quickened as his lips hovered only a breath away from hers.

"Oh yeah, over you." Adam closed the distance between them.


	23. Chapter 23

**WARNING: Another love scene coming up. If you are offended, please skip through.**

**NOTE: The character of Michelle referred to is from a fan fiction story by Linda Bristow called Dearly Beloved, not from a Bonanza episode. **

Cat woke in the middle of the night. The covers had somehow gotten scattered all down the end of the bed again, and she was freezing. She looked beside her and noted how peacefully her husband slept. Didn't he ever get cold? She rummaged around in the dark, gathering the sheets and blankets while trying not to wake him. When she finally got the covers back in place, she huddled down under them and wormed close. He was always so warm. As she wrapped her arms around his chest, she sighed with contentment.

Over the past few weeks, she'd got used to hearing his steady breathing beside her. So used to it that she didn't think she could sleep without it now even if she tried. Unable to resist the temptation, she risked waking him by running her hand along the tightly drawn flesh of his chest. She hadn't thought it possible, but she was falling deeper in love with him every day. Their honeymoon had been a wonderful mixture of culture, fine food, warm days and steamy nights. It all ended too soon. Now, back on the Ponderosa, Cat was adjusting to her new life and role as Adam's wife.

They'd discussed building a house of their own, but it was too late in the year to start its construction, so it would have to wait until spring. Therefore, they made the downstairs room where Cat had been staying into their own cosy nest. Adam moved out of his room upstairs. It was strange for him, leaving the room he'd occupied for so many years, but he wanted more privacy. Cat was silently delighted with the arrangement. She wanted her own house one day and she desired Adam all to herself more times than not, but somehow having Pa, Hoss and Little Joe around made it all the more like home.

There was plenty of work to do preparing the ranch for winter. Cat was unfamiliar with most of the routine, but she was keen to learn. It was late October and the first snows were expected any time. She still couldn't come to terms with the fact that for at least three months, they would be totally ranch bound and then for most of that time, house bound as well.

Rather like squirrels with their nuts, the Cartwrights gathered objects to occupy their time over the dead of winter. Apart from the essentials like food, they also collected books, games, journals and anything they could think of that might provide a distraction during winter. Adam told her he was planning to work on the design for their house, and also plans for the expansion of the sawmill.

Cat was only just starting to appreciate how cold and restricting winter in the high country could be as she rugged herself up when they rode out in the mornings. She was the butt of endless jokes from Hoss and Joe. She couldn't help it if she had lived in warmer temperatures for most of her life. They were constantly telling her they hadn't even seen the first decent snows yet. That made her shiver all the more.

Cat cuddled closer to Adam as her body warmed up. A small amount of moonlight streamed in through the window, which illuminated his face. She gazed at his sleeping form, wondering once more how she'd managed to win a man like him. While asleep, he looked like a young boy. His features were relaxed and his hair slightly ruffed. Cat couldn't help herself and leaned forward to his throat. Tasting his skin with her lips, she covered his warm flesh with small kisses.

Along with his brothers, Adam had spent the day repairing fencing. She'd been lucky. By drawing the short straw, she'd earned the easy job of counting cattle. That evening, after reading for a short time in the great room, he'd fallen asleep with his head on her lap as she watched Joe and Hoss lock horns in a marathon game of checkers. It was a rare night they didn't make love and she realized now, that was why she was restless. He was an addiction. One that she didn't want to do without. Carefully, she raised her lips to his cheek and grazed them softly against the stubble that adorned it.

Was this normal she wondered, to want a man so much it hurt? She felt the familiar ache inside her body as she continued her tender exploration. She should learn to control herself. He needed his sleep. She needed hers for that matter. But, now, in the night, it was as if a demon wanted to invade her sensible mind and throw it to the wind. If she was very quiet and gentle, he may not wake. Moving down to his chest, she stroked the soft curls of hair that adorned it. Her fingers explored the vast expanse of muscle, and her lips trailed close behind. She was totally absorbed. Her whole being tuned into his body.

She followed the path to his abdomen, watching how the taut surface rose and fell slowly with his breathing. Allowing her hands to roam freely, Cat started to play out her most secret desire. She'd only learned about love making since being with Adam, but she found herself being totally carried away by her passion.

Even when she wanted to be in control, she found she couldn't help but go wild as Adam skillfully brought her to the brink of ecstasy every time they made love. Over the month they'd been married, she wanted more and more to attempt to control her responses to make love unselfishly to him, as he did to her. Unfortunately, she'd failed miserably.

She knew Adam had given his heart to her. She also guessed he might've been hurt in the past by other women. Even after all the love, she had the tiniest suspicion that he was still holding something back. She still knew very little about his previous relationships, but she did know that he'd been engaged before and it had ended badly. Will had told her as much. Also, she assumed that he, like any other man in the west, had on occasion visited the likes of saloon girls when needs arose. She didn't like to think of it, but it was in his past now.

She needed him. She wanted him. She longed to make love to him. A great yearning descended as she lightly nipped along the line of his ribs working her way lower. Just then, he stirred from his slumber. Cat froze and watched wide-eyed as he opened his eyes and blinked sleepily.

"Cat?" The word was a drawl. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake.

She didn't reply. Whenever she touched him too much he'd gently stop her and take over control. She wasn't sure why as she ached to touch him as intimately as he did her. She could only guess that it was something that wasn't appropriate or enjoyable for him. So, she lowered her head and rested it on his stomach.

"Hey, darlin', watcha doin' down there? Lose the blankets again?" He smiled, still half asleep, and reached his hand down to her cheek. She didn't know what to say. She was on the verge of being driven mad by her fantasies. She couldn't stop now. Did she dare to continue? Her mouth was dry as she crawled up beside her man.

"Yeah, I was cold I guess." She lost her courage as he pulled her down against him and lazily kissed her mouth.

"I've got a great cure for that," he mumbled as he made the kiss deeper, more passionate. Cat crumbled easily at his touch. She returned the kiss and allowed him to roll her over onto the soft feather mattress.

"You're hot." Adam raised his head, suddenly wide awake. "You're not coming down with a fever are you?" He put his hand to her forehead with concern.

"No." Her word was raspy and breathless.

"You sure? You're sweating." He ran his hand from her forehead, down the side of her body, almost driving her to distraction.

"I'm, I'm just . . . " Cat swallowed nervously and gathered her courage. "I just want to . . . to make love to you. I want you to lay back down and close your eyes. I need to touch your body like you touch mine. I want you to let me."

"Cat?"

She turned determined eyes up towards his perplexed ones. He was obviously surprised by her request.

"Please?" Her eyes were huge and sparkled hopefully in the dull light. Adam was apprehensive, but her pleading request made him reluctantly retreat and roll back down onto the soft bedding. He watched her quietly as she moved up beside him and kissed his lips with delicate, teasing movements.

"Close your eyes." She whispered, as she traced the line from his jaw to his temple with light, shaking fingers. Cat kissed his eyelids and lovely thick lashes as he shut them for her. She moved down towards his midriff again, teasing and tasting his body every inch of the way. The more she explored, the tenser he seemed to become. As she allowed her tongue to trail along the skin that covered his ribs, he sucked in sharply as if the contact was burning him.

"Do you like that?" she murmured sexily as she continued downwards.

"You're driving me crazy, come here." He reached down to her to pull her back but she moved his hand away then replied.

"Good, I want to drive you crazy. I want you to lose control," she added boldly.

"God, Cat!" He was helpless as she licked and teased his torso with her tongue.

Even though she'd never explored this much before, her natural instincts took over. Then, with the skill of a temptress she touched, teased and tasted as she pleased. She felt his breathing become heavier.

"Cat, come here. Let me take over." His deep voice shook with lack of control. Cat realized her power, and pushed his arms away. She sat up onto her knees and looked down on his tortured features. She smiled and smoothed the hair from his brow.

"Patience, my love." Placing one hand over his thudding heart and the other on his abdomen, she straddled one leg across his hips.

Adam licked his lips as he felt her weight settle on his thighs. He reached for her hand and she entwined her fingers around his. He almost stopped breathing as she lowered herself into position. He was driven to distraction as she slid onto him, oh so slowly. A low moan was all he could manage as she started to move. Cautiously, she raised and lowered herself, shuddering with each deep plunge. Adam tensed and trembled as the unique sensation rocked his body and his mind. He was totally helpless.

He opened his eyes, wanting to see her. He needed to watch her reaction. In the pale blue moonlight, he saw only glimpses of her face. She was lost, totally absorbed in the feeling and in him. There was no mistaking the purely honest need she had. She was giving her all to him. She was lost in the passion and her ultimate gift to him. Adam sighed with relief. His whole body finally surrendered as his fears slipped away into the dark precipice from which they'd come. The last remnants of poison from his past crumbled.

The climax that came was powerful. Adam's body exploded with fire. Cat's body then gave way also, as if it had been waiting for his release. She shook violently as her body melted with his. She couldn't believe it felt so wonderful. She'd taken him over the edge of rapture on her own. She looked down at his gasping torso, reveling in the sheen of sweat her lovemaking caused. His face was in darkness and she needed to see his reaction and approval. All of a sudden, she worried. Had she done the right thing? He continued to lie still as she carefully removed her body and moved up beside him.

"Adam, darling, did I do it right?" Her throat was dry as she spoke the words. She still couldn't see his face. He didn't reply. Cat started to doubt herself. She'd been very bold. Doing something like that was probably considered the way of a harlot.

"Adam, my love. Talk to me." Her words were barely audible as she raised her hand to his face. Smoothing his cheek, she reached to his temple to turn his head towards her. There was no mistaking the presence of a salty tear on his skin. Cat trembled with fear.

"Adam, what's wrong? Did I do something bad? I'm so sorry, I couldn't help it. I needed to love you like that. I wanted to love you like you've been loving me." Cat felt her own tears form as she realized she'd upset him with her wickedness.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to disgrace you. I only wanted to please you. I know, I behaved like . . . a whore, I'm so sorry, so s . . . sorry." Her emotions caught in her throat as a shudder racked his body. She collapsed against the mattress thoroughly ashamed of her actions. She rolled away from him and climbed out of bed.

Hastily, she drew on her robe and hurried to the door. She opened it to the frosty night and went outside. She barely felt the icy needles of winter's edge on her body, as she leaned heavily against one of the roof supports. She was scared. The last thing she wanted was to cause a rift in their close relationship.

She was so lost in her misery she didn't hear Adam walk up behind her. She fought the sobs in her throat as she looked up to the stars. She tried to distract her mind and looked hard for the diamond shaped star cluster.

"Sweetheart, come here." Adam's powerful arms reached around her waist and pulled her back against his frame. His voice was steady again. His body felt calm and strong once more. Cat tried to free herself. She felt too ashamed to look at him.

"I'm, I'm sorry for my behaviour," she spluttered.

"No, shhh. You don't understand. I wasn't upset with what you did." He spoke soothingly and rested his chin on her shoulder.

Cat heard his words but shut them out. He held her more firmly.

"Yes, you were." She tried to free her arms, but he was too determined.

"No. Come back inside. Please, believe me. You haven't done anything wrong." This time she listened. Something in his tone reassured her as he turned her to face him.

"I, I."

"Shhh." He raised his index finger to her lips and silenced her protest.

Cat let him lead her back inside the house. He closed the door quietly behind them and released her. He then walked over to the side table, where he lit the lantern. He gave himself a moment to gather his thoughts. He looked over to his wife when the light penetrated the room, and noticed she was standing away from him. Her shoulders were rigid and her arms were crossed. He knew this was not an easy thing to explain but he had to try.

"Cat, come and sit down beside me." Adam lowered himself onto the edge of the bed. He waited until she was ready. She was far too important to him. After a couple of minutes, she turned and walked over to where he sat. She stood in front of him, stiff and silent.

"Cat, please." He held out his hand, and motioned for her to sit. She could be so stubborn sometimes. When she still didn't respond, he reached up to her arms. He placing his hands on her wrist and kneaded the tense flesh with his fingers. He saw a flicker of response from her eyes. "Please?"

Cat lowered her eyes and sat down beside him. She dreaded what he might say and blamed herself.

"Cat, it's important you listen to me." Adam encouraged her to look at him, as his fingers continued to rub her arms, then her hands.

"I'm listening."

"I was in love with another woman once, a long time ago." Cat's heart skipped a beat. It was hard even assuming that Adam had loved before, let alone him telling her so. "She was a seductive and very experienced woman."

Cat let her head drop lower. She must be terribly disappointing after someone like that, she thought gloomily.

"She also turned out to be the most conniving, cold hearted bitch I'd ever met."

Cat's head snapped up at the last comment and looked at Adam. He was staring straight ahead, lost in the past. His eyes were almost black, and showed nothing but contempt for the subject of his story.

"Her name was Michelle. She pretended to be in love with me, but all the time she was planning to get my money, then kill me afterward."

Cat couldn't help the gasp of shock that came out of her mouth. Could it be true?

"She played me for a fool. Pa tried to tell me; so did Hoss. But, I wouldn't listen. She had me, in my heart and in her bed, whenever she wanted me." His speech was labored. She felt his grip tighten around her fingers with the tension.

"Anyway, I found out just in time what she was really like. It took me a long time, but I eventually got over her by hardening my heart and resolving never to be that gullible again. Not only did I have to admit to myself that she hadn't loved me at all, I had to face the fact that I must be blind to recognizing what real love was. In those dark days I made a promise to myself. I would never let a woman get under my skin like that again." He paused and wasn't sure he could go on.

"Tell me." Cat caressed his fingers with hers.

"She used to make love to me like that, like . . . " Adam looked away. "Like she really wanted to please. When it was over between us, I vowed never to let that happen again because I wouldn't know if it was really love or . . ."

"Adam, I had no idea. I won't do it again. I'm sorry I didn't understand."

"No, sweetheart. That's not what I'm trying to say." He turned to her again, his eyes commanding her full attention. "Tonight, when you loved me like that, you released me. I didn't realize until just now how much I'd been holding you back, and holding my owns feelings back as well. But, when I looked at you tonight, when I felt you, I knew the difference. It was nothing like her. I could feel your love coming through me. I suddenly knew had what I was always afraid I'd never have."

"You didn't know how I really felt?"

"Consciously I did, of course. It's just that tonight, I think I finally believed it way down deep where I couldn't control." Adam moved his hand up to her cheek and cupped it tenderly. "I love you so much. Now you've given me back my soul." He caressed her cheek, not quite knowing what else to say. He didn't know if he'd explained it properly. It was something he only just figured out for himself.

Cat stayed silent for a moment, caught up in his honest confession. She wanted to explain her reasons, too. "I wanted to love you unselfishly, like you've done for me."

"And I haven't let you, have I?" Adam smiled softly. "I tried to tell myself I didn't have any left over fears from her. But something must have still been inside me. A small amount of poison."

Cat felt real hatred for the woman. How could a woman possibly experience Adam's love and toss it aside? "This Michelle, is she still around?" Cat's eye's disclosed a hint of jealously and anger.

"No, she's in jail for murder. Former victims I believe."

"It's lucky she's not here. I feel like scratching her eyes out." Her voice was full of venom, as Adam sustained his smile.

"No, I would just prefer it if you came back to bed and practice some more."

Cat looked shocked this time. "But, I thought you wouldn't want..."

"Wouldn't I?" Adam leaned across and encircled her waist, slipping his hands inside her robe. "Right after I live out some fantasies of my own, that is." Splaying his hands around her ribs, he lowered her gently down onto the bed and began to show her.


	24. Chapter 24

"Come on, there Cat. You can do it. Just five more feet." Hoss laughed out loud as he watched his sister-in-law try to stand upright on the crude pair of ice skates he'd made for her.

"Hoss, I can't make it. I, oh no!" Cat shrieked in anger as she once again fell to the frozen surface in an untidy heap.

Hoss couldn't contain his belly laugh as he skated neatly across to her landing spot.

"You just gotta' learn to go with the flow. Don't fight it. You gotta be loose."

"Easy for you to say. It's my backside down here, and it's smarting. I've had quite enough." Cat banged the ice with frustration and waited helplessly for Hoss to haul her up.

She'd been valiantly trying to learn the winter activities, most of which had her completely at their mercy. All except for snow ball fights. She mastered that very well, having hit Little Joe smack in the mouth with one just this morning. It had been very satisfying, especially after he had just laughed at the layers of winter clothing she wore.

"Can't we go back to the house, now? I'm freezing." She looked up at Hoss with hope in her eyes.

"All right, but you have to git another lesson tomorrow. I promised Adam while he was away I'd teach 'ya.

"Yeah, remind me to give him a snow ball in the face when he gets back. Between your skating lessons and Joe's snowshoe races I'm going crazy. Not to mention Pa's love of ice fishing." Cat shivered as Hoss pulled her up off the frozen dam.

"You just gotta learn how to have fun in the wintertime. It's no good sittin' in that house all day, huddled up to that fire. You'll go plumb loco." Hoss spoke with conviction as he pulled her along to the edge.

"Better loco than frozen." Cat mumbled as she made it back to the civilized world off the ice.

"Okay, let's get these things off. I gotta be in town by lunch time, anyhow."

"Oh? How come? The road's pretty hard to get through after that storm the other night." Cat queried Hoss as he unstrapped her skates for her.

"Yeah I know, but it's real important I go. I'm attendin' a birthday party."

"Anyone I know?" Cat smiled, wondering if it was for a lady friend.

"No, you ain't met her yet."

"Her, huh?"

"Yeah, and don't you be lookin' at me like that. She's only two years old."

"Oh."

Cat waited for Hoss to volunteer more information, but when he didn't she decided to ask him anyway.

"So, who is she? Don't tell me, the Collins' have a baby about that age, don't they?"

"No, it ain't him." Hoss chuckled. He'd never met a woman with less idea about babies than his sister-in-law. It was going to be bedlam if she ever had any children of her own.

"Oh, well whose then." It was an innocent enough question, but Hoss all of a sudden seemed to go very quiet and sad.

"Hoss, you all right?" He finished his job and stood upright.

"Yeah, I'm fine Cat. Come on, we betta git goin'."

Cat rarely saw Hoss upset but he very clearly was. She decided not to push the issue.

"Sure, if you help me up." She held out her hand, and he launched her up, almost off her feet.

"Thanks a lot, Hoss. Next time I want to be thrown into the air, I'll call on you."

He laughed, the tension easing out of his expression. They climbed into the sleigh, which was another strange contraption Cat had to learn how to master, and rode back to the house.

Hoss left for town after having a bite to eat. Cat went out with Ben and Little Joe for the rest of the day. At this time of year, they constantly had to spread winter feed.

Around four it started to get dark, so the three of them headed for home. Cat decided she would ask Pa about Hoss when they got back. Neither of them had offered any further explanation to his whereabouts that day.

Cat patted her large grey mount on the neck. Rebel was also finding the cold climate hard to get used to. The two of them had on several occasions, come to grief in the thick snow, as moving around in it was at first difficult for horse and rider.

"Won't be long now boy, and I'll fix a nice hot bucket of mash for you."

"Cat, you're spoiling that horse to death." Joe cheerfully complained from atop Cochise.

"He feels the cold too, poor darling. How's a southern Arizona horse supposed to survive here without someone spoiling him?"

"It's all right for you, but my horse is getting jealous, now he wants the same treatment." They both laughed, with Ben looking on in humor.

"If you want my opinion, I think you two spoil both those animals far too much. Hot mash, indeed." Ben tried to keep a straight face then laughed along with them. He prayed that Adam would have a safe journey home from Sacramento, arriving back sometime in the next week.

Cat kept up a brave face, but he knew how much his daughter in law missed his son. He felt badly about sending Adam on his own, but with the heavy snows and one of the hands out of action with a shoulder injury, he really needed her here to help with the stock. Cat had been good about it, but she was clearly restless away from Adam. This was the first time they had been separated after three months of marriage. That was why he and the boys were spending all their spare time trying to keep her amused.

"Cat, I'd appreciate you giving me a hand with the paperwork tonight, if you don't mind."

"Sure, Pa. Nothing much else to do anyway."

Ben shook his head in wonder. When Adam was home, the two of them happily lay around on the settee reading quietly. Why she couldn't read with him gone was beyond him.

"Good, there's plenty to do."

The three of them arrived at the house just as the light was starting to fade into twilight. Ben left Buck with Joe and retreated into the house to check on Hop Sing and dinner. As Cat and Joe bedded down the horses, she asked him about Hoss.

"Where exactly was Hoss going today, Joe? He told me it was a birthday party for a two-year-old. Could that be right?" She peered out from behind Rebel's rump to see if Joe was going to answer.

"Yeah, that's right." Joe continued to brush Cochise.

"So, who's the child?"

Joe was clearly considering the answer. "She's a little girl called Margie Owens."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she lives with her grandfather. Her parents are both dead and he's getting on a bit. Hoss likes to visit her and take her presents."

Cat contemplated the answer, but felt there was more to the story than Joe was telling. "That's real nice of him. Any particular reason why he visits her in particular?"

"No."

Joe was suddenly very abrupt and Cat knew when to leave well enough alone. She would ask Adam about it when he returned home.

The rest of the night was uneventful. She made a point of observing Hoss's behavior when he finally returned home. He certainly wasn't himself. He stayed by the fire, didn't talk much or offer any information about his day.

As Cat lay in bed that night, she thought about Hoss. He was a wonderful man. He was so open and generous with friends and strangers alike. It didn't surprise her that he would give his time to a lonely little girl, although she felt there must be something more to the story.

Not feeling well and unable to sleep, Cat eventually got out of bed and walked to the window. The night was clear, and the stars were vivid.

Cat sighed. Almost every night since Adam left, she had been unable to sleep. She always seemed to end up looking out this window, wondering where he was and what he was doing. If he was sensible, and he was, he was probably sleeping. She let a small smile touch the corners of her mouth as she pictured him slumbering peacefully. She missed him so badly. She needed to see him again soon, or she would go insane. Leaning her head on the cold glass, she lifted her eyes to the stars.

In the Palace Hotel in Sacramento, Adam Cartwright sat on his windowsill. The air was warmer here than he was used to at this time of year. He stared out at the stars, not really seeing them. Instead, he saw an image of his wife's face in the black night. Sighing deeply, he sipped at the nip of whiskey in his glass. This business deal was going on too long. He wanted to be home, he wanted to be with her. Two weeks hadn't seemed so long when he had agreed to come, but now, it was like an eternity. Only a month before Christmas, he had filled in his time between meetings buying presents for Cat and his family.

She hadn't asked for anything, or not anything for herself. Amazingly, she had asked for a winter jacket for her horse. He chuckled to himself again in the dark, wondering just how she was ever going to make it through one winter at the Ponderosa. She felt the cold more than anyone he had ever met. And she insisted her horse did too. Mind you, having her cuddle up to him every night to stay warm was no hardship. Adam sipped the last of the liquid.

Then, he worried again about the main present he'd arranged for her. He looked down at his leather business case and thought about the papers it contained. He knew how hard she'd worked to pay the remaining debt on her ranch. It hadn't seemed right to steal her thunder and present her with the deed. He'd thought long and hard, then finally decided to go ahead. His family had agreed it was the right thing to do. They'd all contributed.

He smiled as he wondered what her reaction would be. After the initial shock, she'd probably scream with joy and fly into his arms.

Her arms. The thought of them around him filled him with unsurpassed joy. If he concentrated hard enough, he could hear her voice, telling him how much she loved him. Their relationship had gone from strength to strength since he'd admitted his fears about his past with Michelle. He'd opened up to her more and told her more about his childhood and hidden ideals and ambitions. He reached across to the soft fur lined jacket he'd picked out for her that afternoon. He imagined it on her, how she would snuggle into the pelt and wrap it around her body.

Adam shook his head wearily. This was doing him no good. The final bids were to be discussed for the timber contracts in the morning. He had to be fresh for that. Reluctantly, he got up from the sill and proceeded to undress for bed. Everything he did reminded him that she wasn't here. Most of all, slipping into the cool sheets and knowing that she wasn't beside him to hold. Even in the warm night air Adam shivered, really feeling cold for the first time in a long time.

"He'll be home day after tomorrow on the afternoon stage."

Cat spontaneously leaped up off the leather chair and grasped Ben in a huge hug. Ben dropped the telegram, just managing to stop himself from toppling over backwards.

"Now just simmer down, now. You know, if that mountain pass is blocked, the stage may not get through."

"Oh, yes it will. Even if I have to go shovel that stupid snow all by myself." Cat kissed Ben on the cheek and finally released him.

"I do believe she'd do it, too Pa." Joe chuckled from his place by the fire.

"Yes, well, there's a lot of work to get done before then. We have to check the north pasture tomorrow. And Judd mentioned he thought he saw a cougar around south fork. That'll have to be investigated. Might take a couple of days."

"Don't worry, Pa. Hoss 'an me'll have that done in no time," Joe offered.

"I don't know, I don't think I'll be able to spare Cat to go into town just to pick up Adam. More important things to worry about."

Cat stared at Ben with a shocked, hurt expression. He couldn't keep it in any longer and burst out laughing.

"Cat dear, as if I would keep you from going. Anything to stop you from climbing the walls around here."

She let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding and smiled with relief. "Oh, I thought I had been handling it pretty well."

Ben's eyes crinkled with affection as he laid a fatherly hand on his daughter in law's shoulder. "Of course you have. I know how much you tired to appreciate that ice fishing. Not many girls would suffer that to indulge their father-in-law."

Cat leaned into his shoulder, once again counting her blessings for the family love she now received.

"I enjoyed it. Only, it would be better without the ice."

The following evening presented another cold night. The wind was blowing, causing the temperate to drop to the lowest level since the start of fall. Cat tried to read, but was too excited about Adam's homecoming. One more night and he would be here again. She wanted the time to go fast, but nothing had been doing that lately.

She watched as Joe and Ben set up a game of checkers on the coffee table. Idly, she wondered where Hoss was. He had disappeared sometime after supper. She had glimpsed him heading outside. Surely he couldn't still be out there, in this weather.

"Anyone know where Hoss is?" She asked as Joe pondered his opening move.

"He found a sick calf out on the range today. He's out in the barn nursing it."

Cat widened her eyes in surprise. This however, didn't appear to be unusual to Joe or his Pa.

"In this weather? He must be freezing out there."

"He's used to it. He brings home all sorts of animals in the wintertime. By Christmas, he'll have a regular menagerie in the barn."

Ben grinned and nodded his head in agreement, concentrating on the game.

"Well, I'm going out to see if he needs any help." Cat got up from the sofa and walked to the front door. Joe looked up in astonishment.

"You're going outside. Into the cold?"

"So, what about it?"

"You never go out in the cold unless you're dragged. You feeling alright?" Joe scrutinized her from his seat.

"Sure." She turned and piled on the layer of coats she had on the sideboard and headed outside. Joe shook his head in wonder, and turned back to the game. He had to start concentrating. His father was beating the pants off him.

Cat regretting coming outside as soon as she closed the door. The wind was savage. It seemed to blow right through her clothing. Still, she wanted to try to talk to Hoss. She was worried about him. Running to the barn, she made it inside just before a new fall of snow started to come down. Entering through the partially closed door, she was surprised at the warmth inside.

Hoss had set up some torches for light and heat, and had roped off a small pen away from the horses. He was crouched in the enclosure, cradling the small fuzzy head of a poddy calf. He was trying to feed it some warmed milk through a tube. Cat stood back for a moment. She never failed to be surprised by Hoss. He was such a strong man, and had the ability to break a man's neck with his bare hands if he so desired. But, here he was, gentle as a lamb with a poor sick creature. She looked at the calf and knew he had a fight on his hands.

Cat knew the look of a doomed animal and had long since learned to live with the harsh realities of ranching. She doubted very much if this baby was going to make it. But then, with Hoss giving it all his attention, maybe it would. She stepped out of the shadows and over to the pen.

"Hi, Hoss. What'ya got there?" Cat smiled down at him as he turned to her voice.

"Oh, Hi Cat. Just a poor little critter, his mama got stuck in some fencin'. Guess he'd just about had it when I came along." He turned back to the calf, a worried look on his face.

"Yeah, he doesn't look too good." Cat spoke quietly and kneeled down beside him. "Need a hand with anything?"

Hoss was about to object, but then seemed to change his mind.

"Yeah, sure. Do you think you could reheat this milk a little. It's chillin' down awful fast.

"Sure." She took the bucket and walked over to the torch set in the ground. Holding it over the flame, she observed him massaging and soothing the animal, trying to keep him awake and active.

"Won't be long now, little fella. You gonna' grow and be a big strong breedin' bull with all those cows to chase after ya. First though, you have to drink down a gallon 'o this milk." He tipped the newly warmed milk back into his homemade feeder and continued with the difficult job of trying to make the calf eat.

Cat watched, mesmerized. How much love must he have inside to go to such lengths for one small calf? It would've probably ended up on someone's dinner table anyway. It made her think about the little girl he had been visiting again. Dare she bring up the subject? She thought better about it, and settled down on the ground opposite Hoss.

Neither of them spoke, except to the calf. Somehow, it was soothing to be near this small, helpless creature, trying to save its life. It took Cat's mind off Adam for the first time in weeks. Hoss too seemed to be totally absorbed. It was a while later when Cat realized how much time had gone past. Maybe this was Hoss's release from his worries as well.

Another hour later, Cat was getting very worried. The calf was not responding any more and was not taking in any of the milk. She knew it was close to death. She looked up at Hoss who seemed oblivious to the fact, and continued to coax the animal.

"Come on now, fella. You gotta drink this up. Come on, now." He tried again, for the hundredth time.

"Hoss." Cat spoke softly. "Hoss, I don't think it's any use. He's just not going to make it." She placed her hand over his, trying to get his attention.

"Come on, just a little bit, you can do it."

"Hoss, it's no good. Can't you see." Cat had her heart in her mouth as she watched the small creature take its last breath.

"Damn it Cat, why'da have to be so negative. He woulda lived, if you'd given him a chance." Hoss seemed dangerously close to the breaking point. Cat wasn't sure why.

"I'm sorry Hoss, but he was just too weak. You must've known that."

"Any animal can live if it's given a chance." Hoss gently lowered the head of the calf back down to the straw.

"Hoss, I'm sorry if I upset you. I wanted him to survive too. It's just that, well, you can't save everything. It's not nature's way."

Cat was taken back, as Hoss's face twisted into a cruel and hateful grimace. "You're right. I should know better. Always trying to save something, somebody. It never matters in the end. I should've given up on it years ago."

Cat listened to his ramblings and became totally confused. What was he talking about, not the calf, that was certain. "Hoss, tell me what's troubling you. Maybe I can help."

"No, no you caint help. No one can."

"Hoss, you helped me to reach Adam. If you hadn't believed in me, I wouldn't be married to him. Let me help you. Please. I want to help so much."

Hoss looked up at his sister-in-law and noted the tears shinning in her green eyes. He suddenly gave way to her plea and leaned forward, embracing her hard against him.

Cat's tears spilled as Hoss crushed her to him. She hated to see Hoss hurting. She wanted to understand and comfort him. If only he'd talk to her, tell her what was wrong.

"Hoss, can you talk about it?"

"I'm sorry, Cat. I shouldn't have said those things. You don't pay me no mind. I'm just tired, is all."

Cat didn't believe that for a minute, and drew back to look at him. He was the picture of grief.

"Hoss, I know you're worried over something. I could share the burden. I won't tell a soul, not even Adam. I promise."

Hoss looked at her and gave her a sad smile. "I know. It's just that, there ain't no solution. That's all."

Cat reached across and squeezed his hand. "Sometimes, it helps just to talk. You don't have to get a answer."

"I guess you're right." Hoss looked down at the ground, trying to find a starting place for his tale. Cat sat back against the barn wall, wondering how much he would tell her.

"You know, I went to little Margie's party last week." Cat nodded. "Well, I kinda feel responsible for her. She ain't got no Ma, or Pa." Cat nodded again, and crossed her legs to get comfortable.

"Well, her Granddaddy is the only one she has in the whole world. In the last few weeks, Mr. Owens has taken mighty sick. He's never had a strong heart. The Doc told he, he ain't got much longer." Hoss paused in the story to retrieve a large hanky out of his pocket. Cat considered the information so far.

"Does he have help looking after Margie?"

"Oh, oh yeah. He has a live in lady, Mrs. O'Leary. She's a real nice lady too. Spoils little Margie rotten." He gave a flicker of a smile. "Problem is, if somein' should happen to Mr. Owens, well, Margie becomes an orphan in the eyes of the law. Except, only, her daddy ain't dead."

"That's good news, isn't it. I mean, all you have to do is find him. Won't he take care of her?" Cat knew she said something wrong as soon as the words found Hoss's ears.

"There ain't no way that murdering criminal is getting Margie back, no way!"

"I'm sorry, Hoss. I didn't realize what he was like."

"No, I should be sorry. You don't know anything about this, or what happened. The thing is, how can I let Margie go to some institution in San Francisco, or worse still, go back to a father who doesn't want her."

"What provisions has Mr. Owens left for Margie in his will? Isn't there someone, a relative, a friend?" As she said it, she knew what Hoss was contemplating. "Hoss, you're not thinking about adopting Margie, are you?"

"I, I don't know. No, I don't think so. It wouldn't be right. There's no room for a little girl with us here. I wouldn't know how to go about raisin' her. She needs a proper family. A Ma and Pa."

But he would, he would be a wonderful father, she thought. Only that wasn't really the issue. Mr. Owens had to make that sort of decision for his grandchild.

"You should ask Mr. Owens what his intentions are. Maybe, while he is still capable, you can help him find a suitable family. Wouldn't you feel better, if you knew who she was going to and what they were like. Maybe even someone who wouldn't mind you going to visit."

Hoss turned his face up to hers, and started to respond. "Hey, maybe you're right. I don't necessarily have to lose her, do I?"

"No Hoss, not at all. I'm sure Mr. Owens would appreciate someone he knew and trusted looking after Margie's interests. Maybe he could make her your ward. Someone she could come to later on, when she grows older. Or, you could be her trustee, look after her inheritance."

"Yeah, maybe he would. I'd have to talk to him, but just maybe he would." Hoss smiled genuinely for the first time in days. "Thanks, Cat. I guess I was just dang stubborn not to talk it over sooner."

"Ah, that's okay. I'm used to stubborn Cartwright men. After all, my husband invented the word." They both laughed, and got up stiffly from the hard barn floor.

"Well, I guess we betta' bury this poor little critta." Hoss looked down at the body.

"Yeah, I suppose. And Hoss," He looked at Cat. "Don't ever give up trying to save them. They need someone on their side."

"Sure, I won't." They hugged again, before collecting the shovel, the calf and bracing the cold wind for the small token funeral.

It was well after midnight when the pair made it back into the house and went to bed. Cat slumped down on the feather quilt, her body bone weary. She hadn't had much sleep to speak of in days, and the emotion of the last few hours made her feel worse. In fact, as she sat there, she felt her stomach starting to reject her supper. She just made it to the wash room in time. After several minutes of being ill, she washed and returned to her room.

She was rarely if ever sick, but she had been on and off now for a week or two. She knew it was a combination of things that had made her so. Worrying about Adam, and especially about Hoss. Then, being in the cold air too much. She had to be careful about getting a fever, seeing as how she still wasn't used to the climate. Defeated, she crawled into the big bed and pulled the pillows around her. She put Adam's face into her mind and finally drifted to sleep.

Cat paced nervously in front of Mr. Cass's store. The weekly supplies were being loaded, but she barely even noticed what was being put on the wagon. He could have loaded a squealing hog onto the buckboard and she wouldn't have noticed.

"Adam comin' in today, Cat?" Mr Cass called out from under a sack of sugar.

"What, oh, yes. He should be. If the stage isn't delayed."

"More than likely it will be. Had some heavy snow falls the other night."

Why didn't everyone shut up about the darn weather? Cat was thoroughly sick of winter. If the stage didn't make it, she would let everyone know her displeasure. And how! She stalked back into the store, out of the cold.

"Well, here's this months bill for your Pa. You mind he gets it, now."

Cat narrowed her eyes. He was treating her like a little spoiled child. "Excuse me, but . . ." She was just about to start an argument, when the call of the stage driver's arrival pierced the air.

"Stage's in." Mr. Cass smiled smugly, and watched her fly out the door, letting the bill float to the floor, promptly forgotten.

Cat pulled up a few feet from the stage as it rolled to a halt. She bit her lip, suddenly concerned that maybe Adam had been delayed and was not on the stage at all.

Then, the door swung open. A lady alighted, and then an elderly man. Followed by a young boy. Cat was almost beside herself, when finally, a black boot stepped out of the darkened interior. She watched mesmerized, as he swung down easily from the high step, his movements graceful.

She waited for the moment. As he straightened after stepping down, his black hat tipped up, revealing his face. Their eyes connected instantly. Adam's deep hazel ones left no doubt of his feelings for her. He carelessly dropped his leather business case, and strode to where she was standing. For some stupid reason, Cat couldn't move. She was frozen to the spot, almost afraid that she was hallucinating. Then, when he was almost to her, she sprang to life and rushed into his arms. The first contact was electric.

Adam was overcome with joy as he embraced his wife. She was looking a little pale, he thought. Her body was hidden beneath one of his huge old hunting jackets. She had her hair out for once, wild curls and waves tumbling everywhere.

Her green eyes sparkled with need for him. God, he loved her so much. Pulling back just a little, he guided his hands up to her face and held it. He wanted to burn every feature of her appearance into his memory. It seemed like an eternity since he had last kissed her.

Not uttering a word, he lowered his lips to hers. They kissed, long and deep, oblivious to the bustling main street activity around them. After some minutes, Charlie, the stage driver cleared his throat and called down to them.

"Hey, Adam. You want to get this luggage now, or do you want to stay right there kissin' and pick it up next week when I come back?"

Suddenly brought back to reality, Adam reluctantly broke away from his love and looked up at the driver. He had a satisfied smile on his face as he untied the bags.

"Okay, Charlie, toss 'em down. But be careful with the big one. I don't want it damaged." Adam turned back to Cat, who was still half dazed from their passionate hello.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi." She beamed back at him, color and life returning to her complexion. Adam would have kissed her again, except for Charlie dropping the bags from above, and almost hitting them in the process.

"Hey, I told you to be careful." Adam spun around and lifted down a large bag, seemingly stuffed full to the seams.

"I gotta time schedule to keep, ya know. Can't be waitin' for you folks to get over your greetin's all day." Charlie grinned as he passed down the luggage.

Cat finally noticed all the bags. He hadn't gone with so much luggage. "Adam, what is all this?" She walked over to the new pieces and tried to look inside.

"Uh, uh. These are not for prying. Those are for Christmas." She turned to her husband and saw the wide grin of satisfaction on his face.

"Christmas?"

"Yeah, and you're not going to look." Playfully grabbing her hand, he swung her back into his arms.

"Spoilsport." She lifted her hands to his chest and ran her arms beneath his black heavy wool coat and around his waist.

"Come on, we could stand here all day, but, I'm rather anxious to get home. Let's load these things on the wagon and get going."

Cat heartily agreed, herself feeling the urgency. She released him and went over to the buck board and drove it to the stage. Adam loaded the bags and they both climbed aboard.

"Home, Mrs Cartwright?" Adam took the reins from her and gave her a seductive smile.

"Home, definitely."

He slapped the reins and let the team move off slowly down Main Street. They continued to hold each other's gaze as they moved along. Unable to control himself, Adam leaned over to Cat and once again covered her lips with his.

They were so lost in their private little world; they didn't watch where the horses were going. Judge Matthews, getting into his carriage near the sheriff's office, had to scuttle to get out of the way. The buck board narrowly missed his rear end as it scrapped past.

"Why don't you two watch where you're going?" The grey haired man called out in anger as Adam and Cat completely ignored him.

"Damned fool love-sick Cartwrights. It's not safe to walk the streets around here anymore." He grumbled to himself as the Ponderosa's buckboard wove and wandered around the corner and out of town. Its drivers were totally unaware of its path.


	25. Chapter 25

**NOTE: The references to Mr Owens and Margie are from the episode 'The Tall Stranger' - one of my favourite Hoss episodes.**

They made it back to the ranch just before dark. Their progress was slowed by deep snowdrifts and also by a stop at the lake. Adam had wanted to see it again. He always missed the incredible landscape whenever he traveled. He also wanted some private moments with Cat before they made it back to the house.

As they held each other and kissed at length, she told him about things she'd been doing and about the winter high jinx. He told her about his trip, the long, lonely nights and the boring meetings. She almost felt sorry for him, but not quite. He had mentioned the weather had been much warmer in Sacramento than at home. Once back in the yard, Ben, Hoss and Joe all came out to greet him.

"Welcome back, son." Ben was the first one to reach the buck board and shake Adam's hand.

"We were getting worried, big brother. Thought you might not've made it." Little Joe said as Adam alighted from the wagon.

"Don't worry about that Joe, there was no way I wasn't going to make it home today."

"Hey, Adam. What'ca got in all these cases?" Hoss rounded the wagon and looked at the mass of luggage.

"Never you mind, Hoss. Just take those into our room, would you?"

Hoss made a face but took the bags in anyway. Cat laughed as she watched him. He was going in to see Mr. Johnson tomorrow. She was the only one who knew, and she hoped it would have a good outcome for him.

Cat dressed especially for dinner that night. She wanted to look nice for Adam, so she bathed and chose to wear a silver gown she had purchased on her honeymoon. The worst part, as usual, was trying to figure out what to do with her hair. She tried to twist it up in a French roll, a new style Mary-Beth had tried to teach her. That didn't work. Then she tried curling it. Disaster, as was trying to put it into a bun. In the end, she slid some decorated combs in the sides and simply pulled it back, allowing the waves to fall anywhere they pleased. Being a lady was such a hard job. Compared to doing hair, she'd take roping cattle any day.

Fortunately, having her hair down was just as Adam liked it. He turned to her as she finally joined the four men in the great room for drinks before dinner. His approval was obvious as he moved his eyes slowly over her. She shivered with delight, thinking of the night to come.

"You look beautiful, Cat. Doesn't she boys?" Ben smiled and moved over to take her arm.

"She sure does Pa." Hoss grinned at her from the chair and Joe agreed as he poured her a brandy. "Looks like a whole new person without all those winter coats on." Cat gave a sarcastic thank you, then laughed along with them.

Ben looked over his shoulder at Adam, who had not answered him. "Well Adam, don't you think she looks fine?" Ben waited for his son to reply. He seemed pre-occupied with something.

"Of course," he finally answered. Pushing himself away from the stair banister on which he had been leaning, he walked over to Cat and took her arm. Cat thought he was looking at her a little strangely. His gaze was too hard. It was as if he were trying to work something out. The moment soon passed, though, as a smile broke out on his face.

He steered her over to the dining table. Ben watched them both with pride. In the search for love, Adam was the son that troubled him the most. His past was shadowed with tragic loss, and he had sheltered his heart behind a wall of courtesy and ice, until he met Cat. Now Ben didn't think he would ever have to worry about him again.

Hop Sing cooked a superb meal. The tender roast pork melted in their mouths, along with applesauce and vegetables from their winter stores. All five of them chatted happily about the ranch and Christmas which was fast approaching. Cat was most happy about Hoss, who seemed to be in a much better frame of mind.

"Pa, I spotted a great little pine up on the ridge yesterday." Hoss mentioned while waiting for dessert. "I think it'll just about fit in here."

"Fine."

"What type of tree did you have in Arizona, Cat? Can't have been too many Ponderosa Pines down there." Hoss winked as he asked.

"No. We didn't have too many trees of any kind. We used to have a rather unique Christmas tree. We had a big old Sequaro Cactus growing near the house. We used to decorate it right there in the yard. On Christmas Eve we'd build a bonfire and all sit outside around it, singing carol's under the stars. It was cool but not really cold. It always made you feel kind of close to nature and God, somehow." The men sat entranced, imagining celebrating Christmas in a warmer climate. How different it must have been. Cat continued.

"I know, when I was a little girl, I used to try to find the North Star in the sky. Pa used to tell us it was the brightest one. Louis and I used to have a race to see who could spot it first." She smiled as the memory returned to her as if it were yesterday.

"Mind you, having a cactus as a Christmas tree was not all fun and games. The amount of times we got stung by that thing, it's a wonder we didn't spring leaks." Everyone laughed, as Hop Sing placed pie-laden plates in front of them.

"Cat, did you have a big old Turkey dinner?" Hoss was keen to find out if they ate the same things down in Arizona.

"Typical, big brother, wanting to know about the food," Joe quipped.

"Yes, Hoss we had turkey with all the trimmings. We also had some French deserts plus Spanish food as well. We had a Mexican cook. Just as well, 'cause I couldn't do it. She used to get so annoyed that Pa had never taught me any domestic chores. She was always trying to get me to help her make pies, or something. I just didn't seem to have the aptitude for it though, and after a few near disasters in the kitchen, she soon stopped asking me to help."

"I guess that means we won't be moving out for a while, Pa. What would we do without Hop Sing." Adam teased as he ate his pie.

"You both starve. Best stay here. Hop Sing feed you good. Get plenty look after."

They all smiled as Hop Sing bustled out of the kitchen to say his piece. They all knew how he really enjoyed looking after them. Even though he was almost always in a grand Chinese temper.

They talked on for a good while, discussing the festivities and different Christmases they remembered. Cat was particularly interested in hearing about one year that Adam recalled when he was a boy. She could just see him, a serious handsome young man, waiting patiently for Christmas morning.

And Hoss, a young Hoss of five, so excited by presents that he jumped up and down on Ben's bed so much, he broke the base. And Joe at age three, getting spoiled rotten by his brothers, who gave him too many sweets with the result that he threw up all over his plum pudding.

After settling down by the fire, the five of them enjoyed the warmth and each other's company. Happy to have the whole family together, Ben told an old story from when he was a sailor in his younger days. Cat sidled up happily to Adam, as the exhaustion from the last few days started to overtake her. When Ben's story was finished, he noticed he had lost both Cat and Joe to sleep. Hoss hung on every word of his story and Adam was still listening also. He loved to hear about his father's life at sea.

"I think it's time we all hit the hay." Ben smiled fondly at Little Joe, who was slumped peacefully in the blue chair, his boots resting on the coffee table. Hoss yawned, stretched, then got up from the hearth.

"Yeah, 'night Pa, Adam." He shook his little brother quietly awake, then headed up the stairs. Joe followed him automatically, not really waking. Ben looked across to Adam, who was wondering what to do with a soundly sleeping wife snuggled on his shoulder.

"It's good to see her sleep, son. I don't think she's had much over the last couple of weeks."

"She's looking a little pale don't you think, Pa?" Adam turned an anxious eye to Ben, seeking a second opinion.

"Oh, maybe a little. But she's strong and healthy, Adam. I don't think you need worry about her. But, if you like, why don't the two of you take a couple of days off doing the chores. Have some time together." He spoke in a kindly tone, knowing how much they'd missed each other over the past weeks.

"Thanks, Pa. We might take a day. But, I hate to leave you three with all the chores."

"If we need help, we'll soon yell out, don't worry."

"Now, I'm going up to bed, I'll see you in the morning for breakfast." Ben put an affectionate hand on Adam's free shoulder as he passed him. "Goodnight, Adam."

"Goodnight, Pa."

Adam watched his father as he methodically blew out all but one of the lamps in the great room, then slowly climbed the stairs. Once he was out of sight, Adam tipped his head back and closed his eyes. He too, was weary from his long journey. Sitting here, in his home of many years, he felt content. He loosened the ribbon tie at his throat and propped his boots up on the edge of the table. Only the crackle of the fire broke the silence, as he started to dose off. Cat's warmth radiated through him. He delighted in the familiarity of it all. Ten minutes later, he was fast asleep.

Cat woke with a start, a bout of nausea rising in her throat. She at first didn't recognize the surroundings. It took her a moment to realize that she and Adam had fallen asleep on the settee in front of the fire. She sat up slowly; hoping the sickening feeling inside her would subside. She leaned forward and held her head for a moment, breathing deeply. Fortunately, the moment passed and she began to feel better. Refusing to think about the prospect that she might be getting seriously ill, Cat decided to go into the kitchen and fix a glass of warm milk. It might help settle her stomach. She looked down lovingly at Adam's sleeping form. After she had the drink, she would wake him and go to bed.

After the milk, she felt much better. The fire had all but died, so she threw another couple of logs on to stoke it up. She was reluctant to wake Adam as he slept so peacefully. Her mind turned to Hoss and his meeting tomorrow with Mr. Owens. Different scenarios turned over in her mind, as she wondered what the elderly man's reaction would be. She hoped for Hoss's sake that it would be a good outcome. Eventually, she crouched down before her husband and woke him with a gentle hand on his arm.

"Adam, time to go to bed."

"What, where?" He yawned, not totally coherent.

"Time for bed. Come on." She gripped his hand and pulled him upright. He was practically a dead weight, as he refused to wake.

With some difficulty, she got him up and led him through the room to their bedroom door, taking care to blow out the last lamp. She undressed him, sort of, as he tried to crawl under the covers with his shirt and trousers on.

Laughing to herself inside, Cat fondly removed his garments as best she could and covered him with the warm blankets. She loved him, pure and simple. For some dumb reason, she felt tears of joy spring to her eyes. She felt like she was on an emotional see-saw the last few days, and was glad things were going to be back to normal. Taking a while to undress, she finally climbed in beside Adam. She was already feeling much better, having him close to her. Sleep soon overcame her once again.

Adam was disappointed when he woke the next morning. He had fallen asleep so easily the night before that he had not made love to his wife. It was all he'd thought about when he was in Sacramento. Yet, last night, the nicest feeling had been to simply fall asleep with her next to him. Now, as he looked down at her sleeping form, he decided not to wake her. She needed rest and he was painfully aware of how easy it was to get sick in winter. She was just not use to the constant chill in the air, or the extra exertion it took to breath and work in this climate, he reasoned.

He got up quietly and dressed, leaving her to slumber. Taking a walk outside, in the crisp winter air, he wondered about Cat. He knew she was happy here, even with the cold. He didn't particularly want to move away, but he would do anything to ensure she stayed well and healthy. Then, as the sun lifted in the sky, he pushed aside his worries. His father was right, she was the toughest woman around, and as robust as a longhorn steer. His fears for her health, he reasoned, were unjustified as he retreated into the house for breakfast.

Adam let Cat sleep well into the morning. He himself, sluggish, settled in the blue chair and caught up on his reading. He had purchased several books in Sacramento. Most were for presents, but he indulged in buying himself a new novel by Charles Dickens. Time passed pleasantly, until he heard a desperate screech from his bedroom.

Adam, startled, sprang from the chair and ran into the room. Cat was sitting upright in the bed, staring out the window.

"Adam! Do you realize what time it is? It's near lunchtime. How could you let me sleep in this late?"

"I, er, I don't know. You looked so peaceful." He raised his eyebrows in a little boy lost expression, which didn't calm her down.

"What are the others gonna think? They'll think I've gone soft, or something." She looked down and straightened the blankets with annoyance.

"Well, actually, Pa thought you needed the rest." Adam walked over and sat on the side of the bed. "So did I."

She narrowed her eyes, not in a good mood. "You men better not start treating me like the poor, delicate female of the family. I don't need anymore looking after than you do."

"Okay, I'll remember that." Adam was not rising to the bait. He reached up and fondly twisted a lock of her hair in his fingers.

"Just as well. I'm ravenous. I'm going to have something to eat then we're going to go for a ride. I want to show you how much Rebel and I have improved, galloping in the snow." She waited for his protest, and was disappointed when he offered none.

"Sounds great. I'll go tell Hop Sing to get your breakfast ready, and I'll go saddle the horses, Okay?"

"Yes, good. You do that." Leaning into her, he playfully kissed her ear, then retreated from the room. Adam didn't care that she was upset with him. She was back to her old fiery self and looked very healthy in the bargain.

Adam urged Sport on faster. He was valiantly trying to keep up with Cat and Rebel who had taken a sizable lead across the field. She sure had learned how to ride in the snow! The snow cover was light where they were galloping and the ground flat, so there was little chance of a mishap. He felt exhilarated in the crisp air, his horse blowing hard, steam rising from his coat. The grey stallion in front strode powerfully through the drifts. Rebel, at over seventeen hands, was making short work of the conditions. Cat yelled a war cry as she rounded the pine tree they had marked for the race.

Adam pulled Sport to a halt, defeated. Rebel danced sideways as she pulled him up, triumphant with the victory. She guided her horse back to where Adam waited and approached him jubilantly.

"That was no contest at all. I told you, you gotta get some weight off Sport. He's just not making the grade."

"If he's got too much weight on, it's your fault for feeding him all those fancy mixtures you keep making." Adam smiled and sidled his horse to hers. Because Rebel was taller, they were on level pegging.

"He needed some attention, after all what's a girl to do when her man goes away, but spoil the horses?" She leaned over and kissed him back, lingering around his mouth. "Besides, I've got to keep my mind on something." Barely brushing his lips a second time, she wheeled Rebel around and took off again, back down the same path. Adam shook his head at her energy and set off after her.

Cat felt better than she had in some time. She urged Rebel on faster, and he responded, striding easily out across the ground. The snow kicked up behind them, hindering Adam's view. She made it to the lake a good distance ahead of him. Then, as she put Rebel into a trot to slow him, she felt a sudden wave of sickness overcome her again. No, no, not now, she thought as she started to feel lightheaded.

Unable to control the dizziness, she lost her seat and awkwardly fell to the ground.

Adam saw what happened and quickly closed the gap between them. Throwing himself off Sport, he raced to her side. She'd fainted. All the color was gone from her face. Adam was terrified. Gently, he lifted her head from the snow and tried to bring her round. He didn't have anything with him that he could use to revive her with. Instead, he patted her face and called her name, all the time, dead scared. His heart was hammering with fear.

"Cat, come on Cat. Wake up." His fingers were trembling, when a minute later, she came to.

"What happened?" She looked groggy, her eyes pale.

"You fainted, Cat. Come on, I've got to get you home. Think you can get up?" He didn't want to push her. Fortunately, she hadn't been injured in the fall. The ground was too soft.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Here, let me." He got one arm underneath her and the other around her waist. Her weight was nothing in the balance of his love. He lifted her from the ground and onto his horse. He mounted and sheltering her against his body, he captured Rebel's reins and led him.

The ride back to the house seemed to take forever. Adam talked to her constantly, keeping her from passing out again. By the time they reached the yard, inwardly he was a nervous wreck. Outwardly, he calmly dismounted, slid her back into his arms and carried her inside. By this time, Joe was home. He ran over to Adam as he saw him carrying Cat.

"What's wrong with her, Adam?"

"She took a fall, but I think she fainted first." He took her into the bedroom and lowered her onto the mattress.

"Adam, I think I'm going to be sick."

Adam spent the next hour in grave anxiety as he tended to Cat. She was sick several times, and then after some cool water and compresses she began to feel better. He got Joe to send Hank to town for the doctor, but it would be some time before help came, even if Doc Martin were in.

When she felt like talking, Adam quizzed her. "How long have you been feeling like this?" He narrowed his eyes, expecting a straight answer.

"Only a few days, on and off." She sipped the water and tried to sound unconcerned. "It's only a little stomach flu, nothing to worry about. I just ate something that disagreed with me, that's all."

Adam was unconvinced as he replaced the compress. "Why don't I believe you?" His dark eyes burned with annoyance.

"It's true, I never get sick. It's just I got a bit run down, that's all."

"Well, we'll see what the doctor has to say." He left her side and began pacing around the room.

"Adam, don't be upset. I'm fine." But she didn't feel fine. Her condition had been worrying her for a couple of weeks. What if she did have something serious? She couldn't contemplate being bed ridden, or worse.

"I am upset. If you knew you weren't feeling well, why the hell did you have to go flat out on that horse this morning? You could have broken your fool neck."

"I, I was feeling well this morning. I wanted to be with you, out riding like we always do. I don't know." All of the events were too much for her, and she sagged back onto the pillow.

Adam turned around and saw her fallen face. Angry with himself for yelling, he went back over to her and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry with you." He picked up her hand and caressed her fingers lightly. He barely uttered the words aloud, but she heard them all the same.

She turned tired eyes to his and closed them. Adam held his breath, surely she wasn't slipping away from him. He squeezed her hand hard, then felt foolish, as she answered with a decisive "Ouch."

"Sorry." He let the breath out. "I'll let you get some sleep while I wait for the doctor." She nodded weakly.

He seemed to take forever, but finally close to supper time, Hank rode in, closely followed by Doc Martin in the buggy. Hoss was also with them, having met up with Hank in town.

"How is she, Adam?" Hoss was the first one to approach him.

"I don't know. She's sleeping."

Hoss saw the fear hidden in Adam's eyes. He understood his brother only too well. He didn't show his feelings to the world, but to Hoss they were plain.

"She'll be alright, Adam. She's strong. Don't let it git to ya."

Adam nodded stiffly, glad that his brother was here. Hoss always had such a calming effect on him.

Doctor Martin collected his black bag from the buggy and followed them into the house. He entered her room alone, then it was a matter of waiting. Adam stood tensely by the fireplace, unable to relax. Hoss watched him closely, ready to help him if he needed it. Joe paced aimlessly around, a little lost at what to do.

It was an anxious hour before Dr Martin emerged from the room. Adam reached him in three quick strides and gripped his arm painfully hard.

"How is she, Paul? Is it something serious?" Doc Martin looked at Adam quite strangely for a moment then replied.

"No, nothing serious, Adam. She has an upset stomach and is quite run down. Could be this winter air has gotten to her. She's been out in the weather most days and she's just not used to it."

Adam let out an unsteady sigh, clearly relieved. "What do we have to do to get her better?"

"Well, she should have a few days rest. Her stomach should have settled down by then. I gave her some medicine to help her sleep. Just make sure she doesn't do any riding or strenuous work for the next couple of weeks. And keep her warm. She'll be fine."

"Thanks, Paul." Adam shook his hand and led him out to his carriage.

As he was about to climb up, the doctor turned back to him and said something curious. "Adam, if she appears edgy, or moody, don't take it personally. She'll get over it." He smiled and prepared to leave. Adam watched him drive away, pondering his words. Oh well, he thought, he was the Doctor, and he usually knew what he was talking about. He turned and walked back into the house, to see Cat for himself.

Hoss and Joe had respectfully waited for Adam to see her first, so they were still by the fire.

"It's good news, Adam. You should be pleased." Hoss broke out in a smile as his elder brother entered.

"Yeah, Adam. I knew it couldn't be too bad." Joe was clearly relieved himself and wanted to make sure Adam was too.

"Yes, I guess so." Adam gave them a quick smile and went into his room to talk to his wife. He still had the feeling he didn't know everything. When he entered she was asleep. But she had more color back in her face.

He settled his weight on the side of the bed and touched her arm with his hand. He didn't know what he would do without her. He might have to consider moving away from the high mountain country if she couldn't handle the winters. Waking, Cat opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"I'm fine, did the Doctor tell you?" She seemed apprehensive.

"Yes, he told me."

His tone was flat. Cat knew that nothing much got by him. "I'll be good as new in a couple of weeks, in time for Christmas." Her smile was a nervous one.

Adam knew she wasn't telling him the truth. He wanted to get to demand it of her, but he decided to heed the Doctors words for now. He would see for himself if she were going to get better.

"Yeah, right now, get some sleep. I'll build up the fire in here." He turned to go.

Cat needed his embrace. She needed some support, his courage. How would she ever get through this? "Adam?" He looked back at her. "I need a hug." She held out her arms and waited.

He couldn't resist her, and gathered her up into his arms. She held him tight and he her. Something was seriously wrong with her. He knew that instinctively. He never wanted to lose her, ever.

They stayed like that for some time until the medicine Dr Martin gave her took effect. Adam placed her gently back onto the pillows, built the fire and then left her to sleep. Ben arrived home during this time, and Joe brought him up to date with the news. He gave a reassuring slap on the back to his son, as he sat down for supper. There was little conversation throughout the meal, and once finished everyone seemed to go their separate ways.

Adam settled down in a chair at Cat's bedside, absently flicking through pages in his book. He didn't absorb the words though, and after a while he gave up and just sat. During the course of the evening, his brothers and father looked in on Cat, who had not woken. It was clear Adam didn't have much to say to them, so they left him to sit with her alone.

As he sat, his mind churned with worry. He had a suspicion that Doc Martin hadn't told him the truth. But why would he hide something from him? Perhaps the Doctor was sheltering Adam from something serious. Adam had suffered through a lot of loss in past years. As a small boy, his father's grief had infected him and made him wary of close relationships. The loss of his mother at birth always left a dark cloud of guilt in his young mind. Then, when he'd taken Inger to his heart, she'd also been lost to him. He transferred all his love onto his father and tiny brother.

When Marie came along, Adam had a hard shell building up around his heart. It had taken her some time to break through it, but her warmth and gaiety finally won him over. Then, she was ripped from him by a tragic accident. As Adam grew into adulthood, he chose friends very carefully. As far as relationships with women were concerned, until Cat, he'd been fairly unsuccessful. He'd either been reluctant to open up to them, or they'd used him to their advantage. A brief, bitter memory of Michelle popped into his brain, but he dismissed it quickly.

Cat had changed all that for him. She'd broken through his barriers, non too easily, either. She'd needed him as much as he had her. They had a close, loving relationship, and a friendship that grew stronger every day. But along with all the joy of their togetherness, was also the worry he had of losing her. It was very possible that could happen. After all, it had happened with every other woman in his life to this point. Adam's stomach clenched with real fear as he looked down on her sleeping form.

Cat was his life. He'd been making plans for them in his mind. He was considering the possibility of them both starting a new life together, away from the Ponderosa. Up until they were married, he thought they would stay on at the ranch, in their own house, sharing in the work with his father and brothers, bettering their future and that of the Cartwrights.

More and more, he'd been thinking that the two of them could start their own ranch and be successful. He liked the idea of running a different strain of cattle than his father did. Trying out his own ideas and testing his ability to succeed on his own. Perhaps they could go back to Cat's ranch and revive it? He'd not really had that opportunity until now, except in his study and college successes. Cat would work with him. She had a vast knowledge of southern longhorns and ranch operations that would compliment his. The two of them could work side by side.

Then, God willing, he would have his own family. He daydreamed about having sons to love and daughters to spoil. He only now realized as he looked down at Cat, how desperately he wanted children. They'd never spoken about it. Their time together so far had flown past.

Now, this had to happen. The full-of-life, spirited woman of this morning was ill and bed ridden, and maybe was much sicker than she was telling him. He felt his shoulder's tense and his emotions run riot. He hung his head in his hands, unable to think straight.

That was the way Hoss found him, some time later. He'd come into the room in hopes of speaking to Cat. She was slumbering soundly, but it was his brother who needed him. Quietly, he walked over to the chair, noting Adam's covered face and hunched position. He crouched down beside him and offered a sympathetic ear to his sibling.

"Adam, you need ta talk?" He kept his voice quiet and calm, knowing he was the only one who could ever get through to Adam when he was truly upset. He shook his head despondently.

"Adam. You heard the Doctor, she's strong, she'll get well."

It took him a minute, then he lifted his tormented face to answer him. "So was Marie strong, and Inger. It didn't help them any."

"Aw, Adam, there's no good thinkin' like that. That all happened so long ago. It don't need churnin' up again. You're just tired. Cat's gonna be all right." Adam wanted to believe Hoss's words and started to feel better.

As if on cue, Cat woke from her sound sleep and yawned exorbitantly. Hoss smiled at his brother and sister-in-law. She was looking much better to him. I'll leave you two alone, then. Cat looked at Adam, judging his mood. He was still upset and by his look, he was not ready to speak to her calmly.

"Hoss, no, please stay. Adam, I wonder if I could speak to Hoss alone?" She bit her lip, watching his cold reaction. He looked from one to the other and grumpily got to his feet. If she told Hoss anything, he'd better let him know, or he'd beat it out of him. Hoss, sensing Adam's temper, tried to mediate.

"Adam, come on, take a break. You've had a tough day."

"Yeah." This was all he could manage as he retreated from the room.

Cat sighed as he left. "Hoss, I've done the wrong thing. I've hurt him."

"Now, how could you have done that? You can't help bein' sick."

"No, but he knows I haven't been entirely honest."

"You haven't?"

"No, I, I'm afraid, Hoss." Hoss felt his heart sink as her eyes widened with fear.

"You worse off than the Doc let on?" He let the words spill out, dreading the reply.

"Yes, no, not really, Oh, I don't know." She confused him with her rambling.

"Cat, if you've got a problem, you'd better let him know now. He's already fearing the worst."

"It's just that I need to come to terms with it first."

"Can you tell me?"

Cat looked at Hoss. His trusting eyes urging her on. "Hoss, I, no I can't. I have to tell Adam first. He'd never forgive me. But, please, can you give me your support, to help with, well, whatever I need."

Hoss was perplexed, but he gave his unconditional promise, to help out wherever possible. It was clear she wasn't going to elaborate.

"Hoss, how did it go with Mr. Owens today?" Cat had been anxious to know the outcome, even with her own problems to think about.

Hoss's eyes became sad as he hung his head. "Not good. Mr. Owens died yesterday. I was too late." Cat gasped

"Oh, Hoss, no."

"Yeah, well. It's up to the law now."

"Where's Margie, who's looking after her?"

"Mrs. O'Leary is still at the house, 'till after the funeral tomorrow. Then, they'll read his will. He made one a few weeks ago it seems. Whatever he's requested, will be done."

Cat chewed over this information, feeling very sorry for Hoss.

"Will you go along, to the funeral I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess. I wanna pay my respects. And, I'll get to see little Margie again for the last time. Yeah, I'll be going." An awkward silence grew between them as Cat tried to find the words to comfort him.

"It's alright, though. I was foolin' myself thinkin' I had any rights to her."

Cat took his hand and held it firmly.

"I think I'll go out and check on the horses. G'night."

"Hoss, if you need to talk, I'll be here."

"I know." The big man withdrew slowly, hands in pockets. Cat sadly watched him go. It had certainly been a day of high emotion.

A minute later, Adam re-entered the room, his face much more relaxed. Cat wondered if he had talked with his father. Ben had the ability to defuse his son.

"How you feeling?" His voice was deep and calm again. Cat let out a sigh of relief.

"Much better." She reached for his hand and he allowed her to take it.

"I'm sorry for being surly before, I was worried about you."

"I know, there's no need to apologize." Cat, sick of talking about her health, tried to change the subject.

"Adam, what do you know about a little girl called Margie Owens?" Adam was surprised. He looked at Cat with bewilderment.

"Why, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. Hoss has mentioned her a few times." She didn't want to give away Hoss's troubles, but she wanted to find out more.

"It's a long story. You're probably too tired."

"No, I've been sleeping all day, please tell me." She smiled sweetly, and snuggled under the covers.

Cat could be so exasperating. She should be concerned about herself, not about old family problems. Still, it might help to take his mind off her sickness.

"Alright, but I'm getting into bed." Cat watched him as he undressed. Turning down the lamp, he climbed in beside her. Cat cuddled up to him.

"Tell me, Adam. Who is Margie Owens?"

He was silent for a moment, wondering where to start. "Little Margie is the daughter of woman Hoss planned to marry." Cat gasped, immediately pulled into the story.

"She was called Margie too. She and Hoss were the same age, and they had grown up together. They were well suited. Hoss turned red whenever he saw her, and it took him a long time to get the confidence to ask for her hand." Adam pulled Cat closer, absently laying a kiss on her forehead. "We knew about his plan to ask her, so we arranged a party to celebrate. We all thought they would be married before the year was out."

"What happened?" Cat idly drifted her fingers along Adam's chest.

"Margie was innocent and naive, and I guess star struck about the world and exciting places across the ocean. You know how Hoss loves the Ponderosa. He didn't have big adventurous plans for them. He wanted to live here, and raise a family." Adam heard the irony in his words, as he now related that to himself.

"Don't tell me she turned him down because of that?"

"No, worse. A stranger came to town called Mark Conners. He was staying with Mr. Owens and embellished tall tales of his travels to Africa and The Continent, impressing Margie no end. In one short week, she had changed her mind about marrying Hoss and committed herself to marry Mark Conners. Mr Owens encouraged the match too.

Cat felt downhearted imagining Hoss's distress. "What happened then?"

"Hoss was devastated. He'd taken so long to work up the courage to ask her, that when she turned him down he fell apart. He took off into the mountains, and we didn't see him for weeks."

"Oh, no."

Adam chuckled a little at the next recollection. "He had this pretty little Palomino filly he had nursed back to health. He gave her to Margie for an engagement present. She gave the filly back, when she told him she was marrying Conners, so, when Hoss was away the three of us spoiled her rotten. It was calming somehow, to visit the filly. We all knew how much love he had put into the gift."

Cat moved her face up against Adam's, wanting to feel close to him. "Then she got married, I take it."

"Yes, we all wondered if Hoss would show for the wedding. He had been missing for near on six weeks, but on the morning, he did come back. We were all so relieved for him, but sad too. There wasn't much we could say to comfort him. He was gracious, of course like you'd expect, but the damage had been done."

"After she went away to San Francisco with Conners, things began to return to normal. Hoss was quiet for a time, but he gradually began to come round. It was almost a year later, when we heard about Margie again."

"What happened?"

"Mr. Owens came to see Hoss. It seemed soon after Margie left, he started to get letters from her, asking for money. He sent it, at first. Then her letters stopped coming and he got them only from Conners. He asked for more and more money, saying nothing about Margie. Mr. Owens was worried about her, and started to get suspicious about him. He came to believe that Conners was a swindler and a con man. He asked Hoss to go look for her, and find out the truth."

"Did he?"

"Yes, he followed her trail from the last known address in San Francisco. He found a saloon woman, who, it seemed was Conner's partner in crime. He was a con man, and Hoss got it out of her that he had abandoned Margie."

"No." Cat could only imagine Hoss's anguish.

"That wasn't the worst of it. She was in a woman's hospital, about to have a baby. She was severely depressed, ashamed and lacked the will to live. Hoss told her he wanted her to have the baby, get strong and come back to the Ponderosa. He wanted to take her back, and treat the baby as his own. She had the baby, but Margie died in childbirth. The Doctor said she just didn't fight." Adam felt a tear fall onto his cheek and turned his body into Cat's, hugging her tight.

"That must have been hard on him, so hard."

"Hoss wanted to kill Conners. When Conners saw him, he tried to blackmail Hoss into giving him money for release of the baby." Adam said the words with venom, wondering what he would have done in the situation.

"He beat him within an inch of his life trying to force Conners to shoot him so he would hang, when, he cowardly gave in and let him have the child."

"Dear God, what a black hearted coward." Cat pressed herself against Adam, now understanding Hoss's pain.

"So, Hoss brought her back to Mr. Owens. He's always felt responsible for her. I guess he figured that if things had worked out differently, he might have been her father."

"Yes, I suppose so."

Adam looked down at Cat. Her eyes shone with tears. "What did you want to know all this for, anyway?"

Cat made a decision to tell Adam about Hoss.

"Mr. Owens died yesterday. Little Margie's fate will be left up to the law. She will most likely be adopted out. Hoss may never see her again."

Adam lifted his arm and rubbed his eyes in frustration for his brother. He knew how much Hoss's visits meant to him. "I guess there's nothing to be done now."

"I suppose not." Adam looked down at Cat and lifted his fingers to her cheek, delicately stroking her skin.

"Maybe he'll come to me to talk it over."

Adam noticed the way his family accepted Cat and went to her to talk problems through. She was a good listener.

"Now, you'd better get some sleep." He smiled in the dull light. Cat couldn't help herself and moved up to him, kissing him deeply. Adam responded for a moment, then pulled away.

"Okay, that's enough. You're still sick, remember?" He turned her over and cuddled into her back. "Don't worry, I'll make up for it when you're fit again." Adam held her close, hoping it wouldn't be too long. Cat closed her eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. She was glad for his safe embrace. It was some comfort against all the demons entering her thoughts.

Hoss lay restlessly in his bed. His mind was racing with all the 'might have beens' and all the things he could have changed.

He still believed deep down that if he had been more assertive with Margie, he could have held on to her. He also should have checked out Conners story before she married him. At the time, he had been too consumed with his own grief to do so.

If he had paid more attention, none of this might have happened. He could have already had three very happy years with Margie. He turned over on his side, staring at the moving branches outside his bedroom window. He had even been upset with Margie, for giving up on him and on life, for dying when she could have recovered and found happiness with him. That seemed unforgivable at the time. He felt responsible for little Margie. He longed to give her everything she would have had if he were her father.

He didn't know how to shake off his blame. Cat helped with her suggestions, but it was all too late now. He had to say goodbye to Margie tomorrow, and that was final.

Cat. His thoughts turned to his sister-in-law. Now to make matters worse, she was sick. She had looked scared tonight and clearly something was amiss. Hoss silently prayed that whatever it was would fix itself, and they could all get on with their lives.

Cat had brought a new joy to the Ponderosa, even if she wasn't what you would call a lady of the house. Hoss smiled when he thought of her on his skates and learning to make snowmen like a little girl.

Then the weeks they had spent riding the back of the spring herd, covered in dust. She had stuck to the task and done it with good humor and expertise. She even helped him tend the sick calf the other night, when they both knew deep down, it was a hopeless task. She had been patient and understanding for him. There wasn't one bad thing anyone could say about Cat and get away with it while Hoss was around.

He also recalled Adam and Cat's wedding day. How much in love they were, and how much she had settled Adam down. He was more forgiving now, not as quick to argue with Joe, or to disappear on business trips for lengthy periods. Hoss wanted his family to stay together for as long as possible. His family was what he lived for. He didn't want to lose Cat or any of them. He feared for Adam if something should happen. He had to stay strong and put this sadness about Margie behind him once and for all. Christmas was next week. He made a promise to himself to turn over a new leaf and start to enjoy life once again.


	26. Chapter 26

The next week went relatively quickly for Cat. She was still unwell most nights, with a concerned Adam tending to her every need. But during the day, if she slept in a little during the morning, she felt fine for the most part. Hoss attended Mr. Owens's funeral, but as he told her on his return, no reading of the will was yet possible, until all matters of her father's rights had been sorted out. Cat talked with him at length, hoping she could help.

"How's she going to spend Christmas?"

"I don't know, I guess she'll be with Mrs. O'Leary." Hoss sipped his coffee and stared into the fire. Cat began to think. Should she suggest it? Or would it just make Hoss more unhappy when it was time for her to leave. She decided to share her idea.

"Hoss, why don't you invite Mrs. O'Leary and Margie out to the Ponderosa for Christmas? I'm sure Pa won't mind. It would be nice to have a child here. All you boys could spoil her rotten."

Hoss looked up for the first time since they had started talking. "Hey, that's not a bad idea. I'll ask Pa, a'course, but that would be mighty nice, though, wouldn't it?" A huge smile broke out on his kind face.

"It sure would, Hoss." Cat put a supportive hand on his and leaned back in the leather chair. She still wasn't one hundred percent, but she was feeling more and more positive about her situation. She had been terrified, at first, but with everyday, she was feeling more confident.

"You said, we boys could spoil her, what about you?" Hoss didn't miss a trick.

"Me? Oh, I don't know a thing about children. I'll just watch you."

Hoss, Joe and Adam brought the pine in the next day. It barely fit through the door and Cat was amazed at its size. It reached over three-quarters of the way to the roof in the great room. She looked down at the puny pile of popcorn she had taken two nights to string and laughed. There was no way she could decorate this thing on her own. So that night, all the Cartwright men sat around the fireplace with her and helped her make decorations. They had a whole box of wooden figures and paper cut outs from previous years, which helped immensely.

They also had a most exquisite fragile china angel that was Ben's pride and joy. It had belonged to Inger, who had brought it out from Sweden with her all those years ago. When the time came on Christmas Eve, Hoss proudly placed it securely on the top branch of the tree. It was a strong reminder to him and to all of them of Hoss's mother, a wonderful, generous woman.

Also, on Christmas Eve, Mrs O'Leary arrived with Margie. This was the first time Cat had seen her, and she was surprised at how sweet the child was. With delicate features, blonde hair, blue eyes and a cheeky smile, everyone was instantly won over by her charm. She obviously loved Hoss, because she immediately struggled to go to him. Mrs O'Leary obliged and handed her over. He was clearly overcome with joy.

"Hossy, Hossy, Hossy. Love you." A small sugary voice called out when he held her.

Ben watched his son with the little girl and felt a lump form in his throat. Hoss had missed out on much happiness with Margie. It had all been a sad, difficult saga. Now, he hoped Hoss could get over Little Margie. It was clear she was going to get into everyone's affections over the next few days. Then she would have to leave them. Still, that was days away. It was best to think of only happy things now. To make them last while they could.

They all took turns picking her up and following her around as she explored the room. Everyone except Cat, Ben noted. She seemed a bit standoffish with the youngster. Ben soon shrugged off the concern. She probably just didn't feel like chasing a two-year-old around the house with her recent illness.

Adam and Joe were charmed by Margie's actions. Both soon taking turns to hold her hand and show her around as she ogled wide-eyed at the tree, the soft chairs and the huge fireplace. After a while, Adam lifted her up to show her the stockings hanging over the fireplace. He explained in a simple and childlike way, how in the morning, they would be filled with gifts for her, to celebrate baby Jesus' birthday. The little girl, understanding most of the words, clapped her hands daintily. She giggled into Adam's neck as he swung her back to Hoss.

Cat watched him from the back of the room. He would love to have children. He would be so good with them. Suddenly, she got an anxiety attack, and excused herself from the room. Ben watched her. They had a lovely evening planned singing carols and lighting the firecrackers and rockets out in the snow. Instead of alerting Adam, he decided to go himself and see if he could help.

He knocked softly on her door and entered. She was sitting on the bed, holding her stomach, and looking very feverish.

"Cat, dear. Are you feeling alright." She looked up at him and and shook her head.

Moving over to the bedside, Ben sat beside her and rubbed her shoulder with his hand.

"Can I get you anything? Some tea, or some warm milk, perhaps."

"No, no thank you." She looked down, hiding her eyes.

"Perhaps you should lie down for a while. We have quite a few fun things planned for this evening. If you rest now, you might be feeling better by then." He soothed her with the rich luster of his tone.

"Yes, maybe I will."

"I think that's a good idea." Ben got up to leave, but she called him back before he reached the door.

"Pa, I. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything." Ben smiled and sat down again.

"Do you think I'm a fit wife?"

Ben opened his eyes in surprise. It was a strange question. He endeavored to answer it. "Well, Cat. I'm not really the one you should be asking." He smiled and wondered what on earth she was getting at.

"I know, but, well, what I mean is, I'm not like a regular lady. I don't know how to cook, or sew, or do hair, or anything useful around the house. I don't have skills usually required to be a good wife." Ben was still puzzled, but went along with it.

"Well, I don't know how important those sorts of things are, but I do know what is important." She looked up at Ben, hanging on his words. "Love is what's important. If you have that, you have everything you need. I was married three times to three very different women. I loved them all dearly, each one in their own way. They all had their own shortcomings, I suppose." He thought on that for a moment, then continued. "I remember Adam's mother, Elizabeth, she was always late for everything. Then, she'd have her nose buried in a book, and forget all about dinner, or something. Just like somebody else we know." Cat began to look more cheery as he continued.

"Then, there was Inger. She was a good cook, but there was one particular Swedish dish she used to make." Ben made a face so sour that Cat could not help laughing. "It was, let me say, less than perfect. But, it was her creation, so I ate it anyway.

Then Marie, she had the worst temper. It used to land me and her in hot water all the time." Ben picked up Cat's hand. "No one is perfect in this world. If they were, life would not be the wonderful mystery it is. Adam knows your capabilities and your weaknesses. He married you because of who you are, and in many ways I think because of who you are not." Cat frowned, puzzled by that.

"I mean, if he'd wanted a lady who was a perfect housewife, who knew how to sew, cook and clean, he would have married one a long time ago. He loves you because of your spirit, your strength, your love of the ranch, lots of reasons. If he were worried about all those other things, I don't think he would be as happy as he obviously is.

"But we haven't been married long. Maybe those things will become more important."

"Cat, If you ever need help, you know we are all here to help you. You're an intelligent woman. There are plenty of friends and family to teach you things if you think you should learn them. Remember that this is a family of men who have had to fend for themselves most of their lives. We certainly understand. We all know you grew up in a house full of men. We are here for you, to assist wherever we can. You'll never be alone. Adam would be the first one to tell you that." Ben patted her hand fondly, and Cat seemed to change instantly. Her pale appearance and worried expression seemed to lift from her face like magic. She reached across and hugged Ben tightly.

"Now, how about you get some of that rest. I want you ready for that snowball fight. I want you on my team with that powerful throw of yours."

Cat laughed, a new confidence shining in her eyes. "All right, but I get first shot."

Ben chuckled and left her in the room. Cat's fear was finally leaving her. Pa was absolutely right. She would have help. She would not have to struggle alone. The Cartwright's wouldn't let that happen. This was going to be a wonderful Christmas after all. Suddenly, she couldn't wait for the morning.

The rest of the evening was magical. They all went outside for the rocket launching, firecrackers and snowball fights. They were able to stay out for a while with torches set up for lighting and the weather mild with no wind. Cat had so much fun, she didn't want it to end. They threw snowballs, made a snowman, and played tag like a group of children at recess. All of them were bundled up in huge winter coats. Hop Sing got into the spirit and landed Hoss a snowball in the stomach. Hoss then proceeded to pick him up and carry the Chinese cook to the well, pretending to dump him down it.

Adam and Joe even had a friendly wrestle. The tension of adult life was fleetingly forgotten as they slipped into their old childhood roles for a brief time. Little Margie clapped and screamed delightedly as they played and swung her around in the open air. She was passed from one to another like a hot potato. Then, when they all were out of breath and cold through, they went back inside to the warmth of the fire.

Adam got out his guitar and they all sung carols around the fire. The decorated tree stood, tall and majestic. Cat felt the love hit home, as she glanced around at her family. At the end of the night, they finished off with a song exclusively from Adam. He sung the lullaby Silent Night so beautifully. Everyone was captivated by the rich timbre of his voice and the feeling he brought to the simple hymn.

When it was done, there was complete quiet. Silent prayers were being exchanged. Thanks were being given for the love they had in their lives and in their hearts. Hoss prayed for Little Margie to like her new home and to somehow never forget him. Ben gave thanks for still having all his family around him for another year. Joe was wishing for time to stand still. This was one of the best moments of his life. He was grateful for all they had.

Adam and Cat looked at each other, as they sat in silence. Adam prayed for his beautiful love to be well and to stay with him forever. Cat asked for nothing. She had it all. She just whispered a meaningful, thank you Lord. Soon, all of them retired to bed, to wait for dawn, and for Christmas morning. One of the best ones they would ever have.

Cat woke just on dawn. She was snuggled down in a cocoon of blankets and Adam. So comfortable, she leaned her head towards his on the pillow. Her heart began to beat fast, eager with longing. They had made love last night for the first time since he had returned from Sacramento. She finally convinced him that her strength had returned and with a little seduction he couldn't resist her any longer.

He had been gentle, loving her as though she may break. Cat indulged in the blissful act, aching to get more physical, but secretly loving his soft touch and delicate manipulations. She had fallen asleep contentedly, his body safe and close.

She thought of the day to come. Her stomach began to churn. Not because of sickness, but because of the news she would relay to him when he awoke. She had been so scared, but last night Pa had somehow made everything seem all right. His words had really hit home. Help was close at hand. She would get through it all right. Lifting her hand out from under the covers, she tweaked Adams nose, hoping to wake him without being obvious. All that happened was a slight twitching of his nose. She tried again, this time nibbling at his ear and tickling his throat. He grunted, batted at her unconsciously then turned over, still fast asleep.

Cat sighed and lay back. She started to wonder about his reaction to her news. Maybe he would be angry, or dispassionate. It was possible he wouldn't be happy with her. She had deceived him for a week now. Just then, he tossed again, turning to her side, his eyes slowing opening. They were drowsy with sleep.

"What's the time?" He yawned loudly and slung a large, masculine arm across her stomach.

"About sunup. It's starting to get light." She stroked his upper arm, feeling the hardness of his biceps under her fingertips.

"Oh, can go back to sleep then. Too early to get up." Adam dropped his head down onto her shoulder and proceeded to go back to sleep.

"Merry Christmas." Cat was wide-awake.

"Hmm."

"Adam, it's Christmas, don't you want to get up early? It's going to be clear outside."

"What for," he drawled. "It's a day off, I want to stay right here with you, warm in bed." He lifted his head and lazily kissed the corner of her mouth.

"But Adam, I have something for you . . . a gift. I don't want to wait any longer."

Adam, eyes still half closed, smiled in an easy manner. "I can see you are not going to let me sleep in." He yawned again, and lifted his head. Rubbing his eyes and his face, he rolled off her and sat back against the headboard. Cat watched him with bright eyes. Wrapping the bed coverings around her, she too half sat up to face him.

"Merry Christmas." She said it again, a smile breaking out on her lips.

Adam looked her over, in that lazy, possessive way he had, then answered. "Merry Christmas, Cat."

She leaned forward and captured his mouth with a sweet morning kiss. As she was about to pull away, he wrapped one arm around her bare shoulders and kept her close, wanting to taste more of her delights.

"Adam," she began between kisses.

"Mmm"

"I have something to tell you." She was soon being lured down onto the bed, his passionate purpose becoming clear.

"Later. I have something to give you first."

Cat tried to stay coherent, but he was too skilled. She was fast falling for his expert advances as he kissed and stroked her body. "But, but Adam, I have to tell you something. It's very important." She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he made her body hum.

"Ok, tell me now." He brushed his cheek, bristly with stubble across her breast.

"I, I can't talk like this, I." She sucked in her breath as he did wonderful things to her naked flesh.

"Oh, why not?" Tracing a line of kisses back up to her throat, he challenged her ability to stay coherent under his fervent attack.

"Well, because, I need your full attention." She shivered as his hands roamed in areas that were driving her mad.

"You have my full attention, believe me." Adam's face, an inch from hers smiled a wicked smile down.

There was nothing to do, she would just tell him straight out.

"Adam, we're going to have a baby." She held her breath, waiting for his comprehension. He seemed not to take it in, as for a moment, he continued his erotic explorations.

"Adam, did you hear me?"

"Sure, you said . . . " He lifted his head from her ear, and suddenly realized what she had said to him.

"You said, we're . . . we're what?" His voice went very quiet, his dark pupils enlarging with disbelief.

"We're going to have a baby." Cat's mouth was dry as she smiled tentatively. "Merry Christmas, my love." She waited, her heart in her mouth, as he drew back, obviously stunned by her statement.

"You're, you're pregnant? How? When?" He stammered the words, making Cat laugh shyly.

"I hope you know how, and as for when, well, I'm almost three months along."

Adam was speechless. He stared at his wife, unable to reply. She started to ramble, nervously awaiting his acceptance. "I thought I was really sick with some sort of deadly disease. I'm so hopeless at this sort of womanly thing, it didn't even occur to me. Then when Doc Martin told me, I was so scared, of everything. Of the baby, of me not knowing how to take care of it. Of you, not being happy about it. Of everything. But mostly about me not having any idea what to do. I'm going to need help. I'm worried. How will I-"

"-Cat, stop." Adam halted her in mid-sentence.

"Adam, I-"

"-Not another word."

She stopped as he instructed, looking at him with panic in her eyes.

"We're having a baby?" He seemed to be reaffirming the discovery. Cat nodded. His face broke out into the broadest smile she'd ever witnessed. "We really are?"

She nodded again, beginning to feel good. He reached out his fingers, sliding them along her abdomen, as if wanting to feel it for himself.

"I'm going to be a father." He spoke in a quiet restrained manner.

"Are you pleased?"

He raised his eyes, their depth of feeling showing plainly for her. Tears floated to the surface, as he gathered her into his arms and crushed her to his body. "Pleased? This is the most wonderful thing to ever happen."

She heard his voice wobble. Her own tears began to flow as they experienced one of the most precious feelings between a man and a woman. Complete happiness. When they had both gotten their feelings under control, Cat wanted to explain.

"I know I could have told you last week, and I'm sorry for holding out on you. But, I really did need some time to think and to come to terms with it. I was terrified at first. I know so little about children, especially babies."

"How do you feel now?" Adam murmured into her ear.

"I'm not afraid any more. I know you will support me. I was just being foolish. I want your baby more than anything in the world."

"I'm glad you waited. This is the best gift you could ever give me." Adam drew back, so he could look at her. "I think I understand how you must be feeling. You've never been around children, or with other women very much. But don't worry because I have been around babies. Remember that I had to practically raise those two brothers of mine. Nothing could be more difficult than that, believe me." He chuckled and Cat joined him. "I was so worried that you had something severely wrong with you. I knew you were hiding something. To find out that it's a baby, well, my prayers have been answered."

Cat watched him. He was so open with her now. He'd long had trouble letting his feelings show to others. With her now, privately, he let her see his vulnerable soul more and more.

"I'm fine. In fact, the Doc says that I should breeze through the pregnancy, apart from some morning sickness, that seems to be fading. What threw me was that I mostly had it at night, not in the morning at all. That's why I fainted last week. I hadn't been sleeping and was over tired."

Adam became quite serious for an instant. "No more riding for you, or working on the ranch. I'll be making sure of that."

"Okay, I agree. I don't want to hurt the baby."

Adam smiled again, and they kissed, holding onto the moment for as long as they could.

"Mind you, when my son is born, I'm going to teach him how to ride like the devil," Cat said when they finally broke apart.

"What do you mean your son? When my daughter is born she's going to be my little princess."

"Hmm, seems we've got a problem, Mr. Cartwright." Cat smoothed her hands over his chest. "You want a girl, and I want a boy. That's a hard one to overcome."

"Well, may the best man, or woman win." Adam pulled her down under the covers, hoping it would be a long time before everyone else woke up for breakfast.


	27. Chapter 27

Adam and Cat entered the great room just as the others were gathering around the fireplace. Little Margie was bright eyed, staring and squealing in wonder at the stuffed stockings hanging on the mantle. Hoss had been able to buy small treats for her once he knew she would be here for Christmas.

"Hossy, can I have stocking?" She turned her big blue eyes up to Hoss and he melted.

"Of course you can, honey. I think this one here in the middle is all for you."

Cat stood watching, with Adam behind her, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist. Next year, at this time, they would have their own baby to spoil at Christmas.

Observing Hoss she knew he was really happy. He needed someone to look after too. She hoped for his sake Margie would end up with a local family. Ben and Joe looked on affectionately as the toddler opened her surprises from the stocking.

Even Hop Sing came out of the kitchen to watch the custom he had learned to enjoy over the years. She was so gentle with the objects. She would make a fine lady one day, Cat observed. She had never been so tame when she was a little girl. Hoss helped her with the wrapping, and the candies that would be put aside until she could have them after lunch. She had a china teacup, a lace handkerchief, a small stuffed dolly and a pretty pink hair ribbon. She insisted Hoss tie it into her hair, which he did, after much fumbling.

After the stocking was emptied and the presents had been admired, Adam cleared his throat. They both decided to tell everyone early, as they couldn't wait.

"Everyone, we have something to tell you." All eyes in the room turned to the couple, so obviously ecstatic about something. "We're having a baby." Adam couldn't hold back his enormous smile. There was stunned silence for a moment, as his family came to terms with the wonderful news. Then, there was an explosion of cheers, congratulations, and hugs all round. Ben rushed over to Cat first; the tears of a proud grandfather to be glistened in his eyes.

"It's really true?" He said, quietly.

"It's true, Pa." She grinned broadly and went into his open arms with joy.

After a prolonged hug with his daughter in law, he moved to his son. His fine eldest boy, who was now providing him with something he had wanted for a very long time. This would be his very first grandchild. It was so fitting that it would be Adam's child.

"Son, I'm so happy for you, and for me, too." He laughed and hugged him with more feeling than Adam usually allowed.

"Thanks, Pa. We're pretty overjoyed ourselves." Adam answered with an unsteady voice.

"Ye Ha!" Little Joe yelled as he raced over to Cat and spun her around.

"Hey, Joe, you just be careful with Cat, now. She's in a delicate way." Hoss scolded as he pushed his way in for a hug as well.

"Don't worry Hoss. I think when it comes to being delicate, I'm at the end of the line." She hugged him, laughing.

"This calls for a celebratory drink. Hop Sing, champagne for breakfast, if you please." Ben gestured theatrically, as Hop Sing rushed to get the Christmas wine, tears spilling from his eyes. A new baby to look after. He would relish it.

Over a splendid Christmas breakfast they opened the wine and toasted the new baby. Even Little Margie got a cup of juice to clink with Hoss's glass. She laughed out loud, her excitement at a peak. The meal was spent discussing the news. Hoss volunteered to have a cradlefinished by the spring, and Mrs. O'Leary offered her help with the new infant when it came. Cat felt so relieved. She had worried unnecessarily.

After breakfast, they moved to the tree, on which small packages were hanging. Some other presents were littered under the base, as they had been too heavy for the branches. Hop Sing brought out eggnog to enjoy while they opened the main gifts.

For Ben, the boys had all pitched in and purchased a new pair of fancy boots. They were carved by one of the best Mexican leather workers in San Francisco. Adam gave Cat her much awaited saddle blanket, which she insisted on putting on Rebel straight away. After that, she gave Adam a new black suit, complete with a gold vest and crisp white shirt.

She marveled over the fur jacket that he had purchased for her. She cuddled into it right away, just as he knew she would. It was very feminine which was a big improvement on the men's hunting coats she'd been wearing. For Hoss, Adam got a new bridle with silver links and distinctive carving. Cat had found him a book of animal medicines and a leather bag full of treatment potions and instruments.

For Joe, a brand new six shooter, with an ivory handle, which he loved, as well as a new dress hat. Many more small gifts were exchanged including delicious candy treats, sugar apples, books and a new family portrait for the mantle. It was the one of them all after the wedding, which Ben had gotten mounted in a gilded gold frame like the ones used for his wife's pictures.

Then, when Margie's excitement was waning, Hoss presented her with her main gift. A large, pretty, rag doll, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The baby's eyes lit up like stars as she picked up the lovely toy. She understood it was from Hoss, so she raced to his knee and made him pick her up. As she cuddled the doll and Hoss all at once, everyone felt quite emotional.

When the presents were finally exhausted, Cat decided to go out to the barn to check on Rebel. As she began to go, Adam called her back.

"Wait, Cat, there's one more thing on this tree. It seems to be for you."

"Really? That's strange, I don't see anything." She walked back in and the entire group of Cartwright men was suddenly tight lipped. Cat was immediately suspicious. They were up to something.

Adam reached up to near the top of the tree and pulled a small paper scroll from a branch. It was tied with a red ribbon. He called her over to the tree and handed it to her.

Cat looked at all of them, one by one. Hoss had his head down, a silly smirk on his face. Joe was looking pleased, although trying not to. Ben sat with a serenely blank look on his face, while Adam's expression remained annoyingly unreadable. Cat looked down at the scroll, wondering what on earth it could be.

"Adam, what is it?" Her voice went quiet.

"Open it Cat, it's from all of us." His smooth tone only alerted her more.

Nervously, she pulled the silk ribbon that tied it together and unrolled the parchment. The words were written in a flowing style, in black ink, with a wax seal on the bottom. Her hands began to tremble as she read the first words. Title Deed.

Cat's stomach lurched as she read the document. It was the deed to her ranch in Arizona. The ranch she had been struggling to re-own for over five years. She rocked back on unsteady legs, and Adam quickly steadied her.

The piece of paper floated to the floor as she collapsed into his supporting arms. She started to weep, unrestrained, with Adam holding on fast. He'd often wondered what her reaction was going to be. This was not really what he'd been expecting.

"Are you happy about it?" He asked, not sure at all now if they'd done the right thing. She was very independent about the ranch, and it had been important to her to pay the debt off herself. The others looked on, not knowing what to say. After a minute, she managed to collect herself and her thoughts. Turning a tear-streaked face to all of them in turn, she regained control.

"Happy? I can't tell you what this means to me. You've given me my soul back. All I lost so long ago. All I've fought so hard for you've returned to me. I've spent endless months and years wondering if I could ever visit my family's graves again, praying that no stranger would take them from me."

Now, thanks to you, they are safe. You have no idea how grateful I am. I love you all so much . . . I can't tell you." She started to weep again, and Adam pulled her back into his arms.

"That's not all, Cat." Ben looked up to Adam, and he nodded.

Not all? How could there be any more? She was completely destroyed emotionally. She couldn't comprehend anything else.

"Adam paid the debt on the ranch, and well, we all chipped in for something a little extra." Ben stood, picking the deed back up off the floor.

Cat turned her head from where it was buried in Adam's shoulder. Her green eyes were streaked with red, her skin pale.

"It's not much after what you had, but we also got back one thousand acres of the best land you were forced to sell to settle the debts." Cat looked at Ben, her mouth gapping in shock.

"Yeah, Cat. We figure, well, if'n you ever wanted to go home for a visit, well, it'd really be like home, and you wouldn't feel like hurtin' anymore inside just thinkin' about what happened," Hoss explained and Joe continued.

"Cat, we want you to be happy. We hope you stay here with us always, but, this way, you can go back anytime and feel proud of what your father achieved, just like we're proud of what Pa has achieved here on the Ponderosa. We couldn't bear the thought of anyone taking this away from us. You should never have had to suffer that either." Joe smiled lovingly.

Cat couldn't believe it. These men were a gift from God. She untangled herself from Adam, and went to each one of them, hugging them fiercely. They all received her open arms with contented satisfaction.

Adam watched on with a lump in his throat, proud of his family and what they had done for his wife. He decided to try and lighten the mood a little, as Cat was just about worn out.

"Besides, darlin', that land is very good. Pa's got a hankering to start a southern longhorn herd. There's method in his madness."

She turned to Adam and he gave her a cheeky wink. She released Joe and went back to her husband. They all laughed, including Ben whose business mind suddenly started ticking over.

"Hey, you know son, that's not a bad idea." They all continued to chuckle, along with Cat. Adam noticed her pale appearance, and suggested they all have a rest before lunch, which was going to be quite a feast.

"That's a good idea, Adam. I'd better get this little one some sleep too." Hoss looked down affectionately at Margie who had fallen fast asleep on the blue chair, her new doll wrapped in her tiny arms. He picked her up as gently as a lamb and carried her upstairs.

Mrs. O'Leary, who had been quietly watching from the kitchen door, wiped a tear from her eye and decided to go inside and help Hop Sing. This was certainly a sterling family. She would be proud to be in their employ, if they ever wanted her.

Joe promised to go out and check on Rebel for Cat and Ben decided to rest as well. He had a lot to think about and a lot to be thankful for.

Adam walked with Cat back to their room. She stayed very quiet as he loosened her stays and got her comfortable on the bed. Once she was settled, he slid his own boots off and lay down beside her. Reaching across, he trailed his fingers along her cheek and under her chin, tipping her face towards his.

"Cat, I hope you're happy about what we did. I didn't want you to think you worked for so long, just to have us steal the glory from you." He searched her eyes, waiting for her honest answer.

"Adam, I'm so happy." Her eyes sparkled. "I just wish I could stop this stupid crying so I can show you. This baby's turning my whole system upside down. I'm a mess." She laughed and cried at the same time, pressing her body to his for the close physical contact she craved.

Adam sighed, all the worry hanging over him the past few weeks fell away from his mind. His wife was well, they were having a child and she was content about the purchase of the ranch. He hooked his leg around hers and drew her body hard against his, as he liked to do.

"If you feel well enough after the baby comes, you know we can go visit the ranch. I originally thought maybe next month, but I wouldn't want you to travel in your condition." He kissed her temple softly, listening to her more regular breathing.

"That would be great, except, we better wait until next winter."

"Oh, why?" Adam pulled his head back and looked at her with curiosity.

"You know how you men have been ribbing me about how I can't handle the cold?" Adam smiled slyly. "Well, I just can't wait to see you down in Tucson in the height of summer, in one hundred degrees. It'll be my turn to taunt you!" She laid her lips on his mouth, eagerly tasting his love. "But for the first visit, I think we better stick to cooler weather."

"Does that mean, that you would consider us moving down there one day to work the ranch?" Adam watched her reaction. She looked surprised for a moment, her mind comprehending the notion.

"I don't know. It's something I hadn't thought about until now. But it's not a decision to be made today. We have a lot to prepare for right now. I'd like to visit, that will do for a start. Next fall, will you take me and our son down to Tucson?" She kissed and teased his lips with hers, making it hard for him to say no.

"Okay, but you don't have that quite right."

"No?"

"No, it'll be you, me and our daughter. Remember?"

"Oh, yes, let the best one win. I remember."

Cat, suddenly bursting with energy again, lifted herself up to his chest and rolled him flat against the bed. Slipping her hand in-between the buttons on his black silk shirt, she lowered her mouth onto his. "Even if I lose, I don't think I'll be waiting very long to have another try."

Adam, totally under her spell, shook his head. She did things to his heart that he couldn't have ever believed were possible. They kissed and caressed, held and touched for a long time, until Cat's tiredness overcame her.

Lunch was a splendid affair, at which Hop Sing outdid himself. They had several different meats, including turkey, beef, duck and chicken. All kinds of vegetables, breads, desserts and wines adorned the table. Quite a feat seeing it was the dead of winter. Everyone was in high spirits as they ate, drank and enjoyed the festive essence of the afternoon. Little Margie proceeded in getting food all over herself and Hoss. Once everyone was stuffed full, they all moved over to the lounge area again, to relax and contemplate dinner.

On the settee, Cat lay back against Adam, who picked up a new book. Joe and Hoss played with Margie on the floor. Ben sat smoking his pipe in the leather chair. Mrs. O'Leary and Hop Sing happily cleared the table, to get ready for the next onslaught. Time passed pleasantly, until the distinctive sound of hooves plunging in the snow alerted the household to an approaching visitor.

Ben was the first one to rise, surprised at anyone traveling on Christmas Day especially out on the difficult snow laden road to the Ponderosa. He braced the sharp air as he opened the front door. One rider approached. Moving out onto the porch, Ben was followed by Joe, Hoss, then Adam and Cat. Hoss stopped in mid stride, as he was the first to recognize the visitor.

"It's Mr. Saunders, Mr. Owens's lawyer." Hoss said the words low, to his family. Cat heard, her temper immediately riled.

"How dare he come out here today. If he's got bad news he should have waited." Cat shrugged off Adam and went to Hoss. Nobody was going to tell him bad news on such a wonderful day if she had anything to do with it.

"Just hold on now, Cat. We don't know why he's here." Ben tried to remain calm, but feared the worst for Hoss.

"Oh, yes we do." She stalked out ahead of the others. "You have some nerve, Mr. Saunders, coming out here today. How dare you ruin this, you could have waited for just one day." Her green eyes flashed with anger as his horse came to a stop in front of her.

"Mrs. Cartwright, I mean no disrespect, but I feel what I have to say is of great importance to you all."

Cat narrowed her eyes. She didn't like the lawyer one bit, nor did she trust him for a second. It took a firm hand from Adam and a supporting word from Hoss to turn her away.

"Please, Mr. Saunders, won't you come inside. It must have been a cold ride from Virginia City." Ben extended the hand of welcome.

"Thank you Mr Cartwright. I am a little chilly, I must admit." He didn't seem perturbed by Cat's outburst. Dismounting, he followed Ben into the house, the others all trailing behind.

Cat went to Hoss, capturing his arm in hers. "I'm here, Hoss. I won't let him take her from you today. You can bank on that."

Hoss smiled sadly down at his sister-in-law. "We may have no choice. If he's found that scum, Conners, I don't know what we can do."

"Come on, you two. We have to face this." Adam's sensible words penetrated their minds. Reluctantly, they all re-entered the house.

"Mr. Saunders, won't you join us in some Christmas cheer?" Ben, ever the gracious host, called for another glass from the kitchen. They all waited as he received the drink, took out some official looking papers and settled on the leather chair.

Cat became quickly impatient. "Why don't you just say what you came to say and get it over with."

"Cat!" Adam hissed in her ear and pulled her back firmly. Heeding his warning grudgingly, she fell silent, although her volatile anger boiled just below the surface.

"I realize you must see me as the bearer of bad news. In this job, I quite often am, however, today that is not the case." He smiled briefly around the room, his eyes settling on the small child in Hoss's arms. She hid her face, not liking the new stranger one bit. Picking up on his words, Hoss stepped forward.

"What do you mean; it ain't bad news?"

"Well, Hoss. We tracked down Mark Conners. It took a few days, but the trail was not hard to follow. He was killed near on a year ago in a gunfight just outside Sacramento. We believe it was over a gambling debt. He was well known in the district and the case was well documented. Even got a positive identification from the local sheriff."

Hoss's eyes furrowed, drinking in the information.

"That's wonderful, Hoss. That means Margie won't ever have to go to him." Joe spoke up eagerly. Joe was right, that was good news. It somehow made up for the pain of losing Margie.

"Yeah, yeah. That is good." Hoss put on a brave face, knowing that he should be very grateful for the small mercy.

"Well, what happens now?" Ben asked.

"Well, Mr. Cartwright, Margie's fate lies in the hands of the law. She is now officially an orphan, so-" Cat cut him off.

"-So, you're just going to take her from him!"

"No, Mrs. Cartwright. Please, be patient with me."

Adam pulled her back once more and answered for her. "You'll have to forgive my wife, Mr. Saunders. She's a little emotional today." Adam gave Cat a warning stare, which she reluctantly heeded, and turned from the group.

"She's with child." Ben whispered, hoping that would appease the situation. Cat heard the comment and noted it down as being a negative with being pregnant. Others assumed you were an instant hysterical wreak.

"It will be my first grandchild. We're all quite excited about it."

"That is wonderful, congratulations, Ben. Although it may not be entirely true."

"What?" Adam was getting annoyed with this man. Why didn't he just tell them plainly what he came to say?

"Well . . . the thing is, Margie would have been an orphan, if Mr. Owens hadn't made a will out several days ago."

"He did? He didn't mention it." Hoss was now sitting down on the settee, his mind a blur.

"Yes, Hoss he did. Just before he died in fact. It is very specific about what will happen to Margie. I drew it up for him actually, so I know it is exactly what he wanted."

"Which is?" Adam urged.

"In the event of Conners being deceased, he has entrusted Margie's care to a very deserving person, and a loving family." Hoss didn't want to hear anymore.

"Someone I know?" He had to ask, even though he dreaded the answer.

"Yes, very well, as a matter of fact." Mr. Saunders looked at the somber faces surrounding him. "It's you Hoss. Mr. Owens has bequeathed Margie to your care until she is twenty-one years old. Congratulations, Hoss. You're Margie's new father. And I believe, Mr Cartwright, your first grandchild. If you want her, that is. If not, I have to find alternative arrangements."

Hoss's eyes filled with disbelief. Had he really said those words? That he was Margie's father now?

"Sir, this ain't no joke?"

"I assure you Hoss, and all of you, it's perfectly legal and correct. I have the adoption papers here for you to sign, if you so wish. Then, I can leave you all in peace." He smiled at the stunned group. No one was willing to truly believe. Cat, totally dazed, walked up from the rear of the room.

"I'm a father?" Hoss couldn't believe it. She was his.

Ben sat, frozen to the chair. He had an instant grandchild. She was a sweet little girl who, in such a short time, had warmed all their hearts.

"Did you hear him?" Hoss's voice became louder. "Did you hear him? She's mine, she's mine!" He got up from the chair and went over to Margie. She eagerly held her hands up to him as he picked her up from the floor. "She's truly mine?"

"Yes Hoss, truly."

There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Margie was hugged and kissed, as was Hoss. This was the most incredible surprise of all.

Cat was overcome with joy. They had never expected this. They had a new little Cartwright, and she was a girl to boot! After it all calmed down somewhat, and Hoss had signed the papers with a shaky hand, Mr. Saunders took his leave. On the way out, Cat approached him and apologized for her behavior.

"I hope you can forgive my rudeness."

"Think nothing of it. I understand you were concerned for Hoss. It's why I supported Mr. Owens's choice. I know Margie will be very happy here, and loved very well by this family."

Tipping his hat, he left the Ponderosa with a warm swelling in his heart. It was a good feeling to give something so precious as a child was to a family who appreciated her.

The rest of the day was spent with a family closeness rarely enjoyed. Everyone took turns playing with, feeding and changing the baby. Even Cat held her for a while although it made her nervous.

Christmas dinner was served after the sun had well and truly set. At the table, a prayer was said at the beginning of the meal. They all joined hands around it, making the moment seem stronger, bonding them all.

Ben spoke the words of the Bible, then gave thanks for the truly blessed day they had shared. Hoss had difficulty in stopping the flow of tears, every time he looked at Margie, sitting beside him. She was his, to love, keep safe and raise as he had always wanted to.

They sang more carols after dinner, but were in bed early due to the draining nature of the day. Cat and Adam sat in their overstuffed chair by the fireplace in their room for a time. Cat curled up in his lap, her arms draped around his neck, his arms encircling her waist.

"You're not sore at me for getting angry with Mr. Saunders, are you?" She nudged her face against his cheek and kissed the roughened surface.

"No, but next time it might pay to listen first then rush in later." He turned his eyes to her, the hazel depths, soft and forgiving.

"I'll try to remember that."

Tilting his head up to hers, she kissed him, open-mouthed. His tongue captured hers in a rush of passion, consumed her, and caused her to sag willingly against his torso.

Sliding from his lap, some minutes later, she stood up and tugged on his arm. He followed her path and moved close to her, their bodies brushing with anticipation.

"How about joining me on the rug in front of the fire."

Adam left her mouth for a moment to kiss her neck. "Cat, I don't think "

She silenced him with slow, erotic hand, tracing his skin down to the hot flesh below. "I won't take no for an answer." Her green eyes darkened as she turned her back to him, urging him to slip the buttons on her dress undone.

"This is probably not good for the baby." Adam tried to think clearly, something she wasn't allowing him to do.

"Oh, no my love. Of that, I am sure. This is very good for him." Turning back, she slid the ruby red gown from her shoulders, turning heavily lidded eyes to his. "He wants you close to him too." She smiled seductively, affording him no choice. With quivering fingers, he lowered the cool material down to her waist.

"You mean, she does." Adam drew his wife up against his chest, and lowered her down onto the soft rug beneath them.

"Oh, yes, I'd forgotten about that. I do so love a challenge."

They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms. Then later in bed when their passion was spent, they dreamt of the wonders that the day had brought them. A very special Christmas Day, one they would never forget and one that would stay in their hearts forever.


End file.
